Climbing back up.

[redrose85]

Oh no F, I didn’t know there was a history there. What makes you suspect?

 

Also, good luck moving tomorrow! Onto the next awesome chapter

[Firiel]

The way she was acting last night-- dopey, stumbling over words, like she had just woken up. It was really reminiscent of the way she's acted in the past when substance abuse has been a problem.

[Firiel]

Oh my gosh. My new roommate is such a giant liar. It's absolutely hilarious. He's got a million stories. Each one is believable enough, but all of them? NEWP.

 

Tonight, he complimented me on the way my quiche smelled and told me about how Emeril (!) taught him how to make quiche when he opened his first (does that imply more than one?!) restaurant. I barely made it into my room before I burst out laughing. I mean, my quiche made a pretty yummy dinner, but it's hardly fine dining. I'm pretty sure the original recipe (from my mom) is just a basic, Midwestern comfort food recipe (mayo and cheddar!) that I've modified to make a little more interesting (mayo and cheddar are still very much in place, though).

 

On a more serious note, knowing someone is a liar in advance is helpful because most liars get kind of nasty when they are in a corner. Be pleasant and don't ask him to do anything that actually needs to get done. And remain an aloof but pleasant acquaintance.

[Batya33]

As long as he is honest about the financial transactions involved it might just be entertaining!

[Firiel]

As long as he is honest about the financial transactions involved it might just be entertaining!

 

That's what I'm thinking! Rent is a flat rate each month, so I've just made a mental note to keep all receipts. Now I can sit back and enjoy the stories!

[Firiel]

I've been anxious lately. An inevitable byproduct of moving to a new state, I suppose. It still feels a bit like a vacation, and when I think about the fact that I'm not going to be going back to my old life, I get a twinge of panic and quickly change what I am thinking about.

 

I've been insecure about my relationship with G as a side effect. I'm quite certain that it is just a side effect of anxiety because he hasn't done anything to make me feel like things are going badly. If anything, he's been more attentive than usual (not unexpected considering I just moved here!). I'm considering trying to find a therapist in the area to talk to for a bit to try to work through some of my emotions regarding my move. I've been having issues sleeping that I'm pretty sure are anxiety-induced. I feel like I'm having pretty severe "buyer's remorse" and that I don't really have anyone to talk about it with. I don't want to air my doubts to my family (I think they feel hurt that I moved). And I don't want to burden G with ALL of this-- I don't want him to feel bad that I'm doubting my decision to move, in part to be closer to him.

 

I just don't really know what to feel. I turned 27 last week. When I was 22, I was sure I'd either have kids or be trying to get pregnant by this point. I can't believe five years ago I was planning my wedding. I feel really stupid for saying this, but sometimes I still miss B. He was a poophead (insert stronger word as needed), and he was irresponsible and a terrible significant other (looking back), but he really was my best friend. We had a lot of fun together. I miss the particular rapport we had with each other. And it kind of hurts to know that he couldn't care less... that the five years I spent making him my everything mean literally nothing to him and all he thinks about is his ex-girlfriend. I don't know who to talk to about that, either.

[Firiel]

Well, it's a new year!

 

G and I stayed in with a couple friends. They left around 11. G got into bed at 11:30 saying he was tired, and I told him he had to stay up 30 more minutes for New Year's. I was quite insistent. So we piddled around online a bit in bed. My phone alarm went off at midnight, we did the New Year's kiss, and then we went to sleep.

 

We are old.

[Ms Darcy]

Too funny. I went to a NYE gathering last night with around 11 people. Two of the couples left around 10:30p and 11p ... I was like waaaah? Just wait until midnight!!! But they wanted to go home and go to bed!

[Firiel]

I had a pretty bad fainting spell in the bathroom. I passed out, hit my eyebrow on the counter, and split it open. I came to as G was knocking on the door. He says I was out for a while, but it's always hard to tell because I gather he was pretty spooked and may not have been the best judge of time. I let him in and then passed out again. It was two or three total times I lost consciousness.

 

This is the first time I've passed out in almost two years. I felt pretty sick today-- a little stuffy with a sore throat but also really nauseated. It's hard to tell which was primary-- if I passed out because I wasn't feeling well or if I felt like crap because I passed out. I worked from home today so I didn't have to go in. I've been wobbly all day. I maybe should have gone to the doctor for my cut. It's about 3/4 of an inch long, but I'm not sure if it's fully split open because it really didn't bleed much at all, especially considering it was a head wound. But yeah, I can't really afford the doctor right now due to way too many unexpected car problems.

 

I'm hoping I feel better. I was very wobbly and almost passed out several times last night at well. It's freaking me out a little because usually, I pass out and then am fine. I don't feel fine right now.

[annie24]

hugs!! oh no!!! why do you pass out??

[sophie274]

Oh my gosh Firiel. I'm glad you didn't hurt yourself more when you fainted.

 

Is this common for you? Do you have low blood-pressure? Do you not have health insurance? It sounds pretty unusual and serious to me for you to be losing consciousness so many times in such a short period of time. You're the best judge and you know yourself, but I'm really worried for you and think you should really see a doctor.

[redrose85]

What was causing you to pass out in the past? Are you diabetic or low iron?

[Firiel]

It's not uncommon for me. It's definitely happened before (last time was about two years ago-- I passed out 2-3 times over the course of a few weeks). I think it's low blood pressure, or at least a sharp drop in blood pressure. Dizzy spells are really common for me when I stand up. I've gone to the doctor for it and they tested my heart, and all the tests came back normal. I have health insurance, but it's a high deductible plan, and I don't have much in my HSA yet due to being new on the job. I know tests are expensive, and I suspect they won't be able to diagnose me and will give me generic advice to stay hydrated, exercise regularly, and make sure I eat (all of which I do).

 

I guess since I know my heart is okay, I feel okay with not going to the doctor. The thing that worries me is that I was wobbly all evening last night and am still feeling a bit wobbly today. That's kind of weird. Usually, it's more of a one-off thing instead of something that sticks around.

[annie24]

I'm worried it could be something neurological. please get it checked out sooner rather than later.

[Batya33]

I agree. Sorry to be cliche but is it possible you're pregnant?

 

I hope you feel much better today!

[Marah]

So scary, glad you are ok! I get those spells too, but never have had explanations.

[Firiel]

No, I'm definitely not pregnant. I've had a lot of stress lately what with moving and car problems and the holidays, and that tends to make my dizzy spells worse.

 

I'm feeling much better now. I just feel like a doctor would tell me stuff I already know and charge a lot. I've got a high deductible insurance plan, ugh.

[annie24]

anxiety? I get dizzy when I am anxious.

 

Maybe see if it stops when the holidays/stresses are over?

[Fudgie]

I struggled with dizziness and feeling faint for a while, still do sometimes. My blood pressure borders on low and I do a lot better when I am well hydrated. I got very sick once and became so dehydrated that my BP fell to well below 100 if I stood up, so I was falling down quite a fit and feeling faint. Once I drank a lot, I got better.

 

I hope you're drinking enough. I know I am very sensitive to that now.

[Firiel]

I struggled with dizziness and feeling faint for a while, still do sometimes. My blood pressure borders on low and I do a lot better when I am well hydrated. I got very sick once and became so dehydrated that my BP fell to well below 100 if I stood up, so I was falling down quite a fit and feeling faint. Once I drank a lot, I got better.

 

I hope you're drinking enough. I know I am very sensitive to that now.

 

Yes, I have noticed how much being hydrated helps with the dizzy spells, so I always make an effort to stay hydrated. If I'm feeling faint, I run through the usual suspects: water, food, sleep, stress, general health. The only thing off was stress (crazy few weeks) and general health (I had/have a mild cold which normally wouldn't exacerbate my dizziness).

 

The dizziness/fainting is something I've been dealing with for about 10 years now, and I usually end up actually passing out every year or two. This one was strange because I wasn't sick/hurt/whatever, but I guess when I think about last time this happened (two years ago), I wasn't sick either. Just very, VERY stressed and anxious.