Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Balloonh8r1302]

I can safely say I'm just about over you. I do not hate you, nor do I blame you for anything.

 

Getting involved with you was a mistake from the start, and I blame myself for it all. I have no hard feelings towards you.

 

I can see now that we were never a good fit for each other.

[alc16]

I wish I could just snap, smash all your belongings and throw them in the yard. I tried to be nice, I ended it, and I gave you 60 days to find a place but you continue to sh.t on me. Instead of sitting in awkward silence while you drink by yourself, I left and watched tv with a friend. You proceeded to call me names and act like the child you are.

 

I just let all the lies go, I knew you were lying, I knew you were being sneaky but I just let it go. You made me feel like I was crazy for snooping after I caught you planning to meet up with that stupid b.tch. I thought I was protecting myself but making sure you weren't doing anything.. But protecting myself would have been throwing you out in the street, for you to run to whatever wh.re was waiting to give you a place to stay, willing to give a listening ear to your deranged thoughts.

 

I'm standing up today and saying I am done being abused, and I pray for your next victim.

[ginciagin]

You probably don't realize that you backstabbed me by deceiving me and cheating on me online and beyond. I know the truth, and you know what you lost face in my books - you are a liar so you can stuff your lets be friends up your a** you said you had so much respect and care for me, I wonder where it was when you decided to go looking for someone to replace me before actually calling it a day!. Because oh all your friends were coupled and you urgently needed to fill the gap to avoid loneliness..pathetic.. yes I will have a bright future, and ghosts from the past will definitely not be relevant in the future!

[Seymore]

Even though I've blocked you on my Facebook, I came across you on my work's Facebook page tonight and slipped and looked at your profile picture. You have a half smile on your face but I can see the hurt in your eyes. Thankfully I'm very tipsy tonight so I was able to separate myself from much of the emotion it would have normally brought me.

 

Part of me feels good that you are suffering. It means you recognize what you lost. Recognize - not realize. If you'd realized it you would have gotten help. I highly doubt that's happened.

 

I'm so sorry I had to hurt you, but I know you haven't changed. And I still believe I'm hurting even more than you are.

[alc16]

I keep reliving all the things I haven't been able to let go. Why can't I let them go? Because every time I shared how I felt, or shared with you that you were being rude to me you shrugged it off. You were drunk so my feelings were trivial, you didn't remember so it didn't happen. I made it all up.. You made all your friends believe I was a horrible person, and it was easy because I was so cold at the time. I had enough, and I wanted out but I didn't know how. They told you to make sure the car was in your name because I was going to take it.. meanwhile deep down you know I'm a , they told you that you were nothing but good to me.. I was nice enough to never tell them you once punched me in the head for talking to your brother in the kitchen while you were in the bedroom. You lied through your teeth to everyone that crossed your path, you put on such a good show for people. Nobody knows what went on behind closed doors. I'm embarrassed to admit to the people close to me that I let things go like this, that I stayed. So so so embarrassed. I cannot wait until February, I cannot wait until I no longer have to see you daily and be nice to you for the sake of not living in a war zone. I guess I really just need to forgive myself for letting it go on so long, for not walking away when you first presented your true self.

[treesandbees]

Just because I am not reaching out since your bday doesn't mean I don't think of you, love you less or any of that nonsense like I don't care if you live or die, Bs to all of that it means I am barely hanging on and cannot take another set back before Christmas.

[treesandbees]

Also my therapist thinks before the end of this year I should get closure and call your sister ( because she felt the same way re your behaviors as I did and your mom only excused you), but I don't know if I can.

[Seymore]

Tonight I just remembered the night that I went to bed at midnight, then woke up at 2:30 wondering where you were. Went to the bathroom and found you drunk and passed out on the floor. And your kids were sleeping right next door as I had to physically lift you, and just about almost raise my voice at you to get to bed, careful not to wake them.

 

I sit here praying that they realize that you were just too difficult for me, and that I didn't want to leave THEM.

[Seymore]

Also my therapist thinks before the end of this year I should get closure and call your sister ( because she felt the same way re your behaviors as I did and your mom only excused you), but I don't know if I can.

 

Not sure about your therapist, but closure comes from within. Don't open old wounds.

[lancelot873]

i don't know where to begin. was it all a lie? do you have no regrets? how do you sleep at night knowing you cut someone off WITHOUT telling them why? or giving them a chance? and why would you say that "maybe in the future..." that's not fair knowing how much i loved you. i really wish you could have approached me about what ever it is that made you decide to leave me before it got to a point where you took that decision on your own. i used to think that relationships are a two way street, but after you broke up with me i have struggled to keep faith in anything. i still struggle. i can't trust anyone i meet anymore for fear of being vulnerable like that again. it has changed me, our relationship, i don't know for the better or worse but i have definitely changed. i keep changing every day, i feel like i'm in an endless spiral that i can't get out of. you have no heart, no conscience and no soul. i wish i can say to have never met you but i still don't have it in me, 3 years later. i wish i can say i am grateful to have met someone like you, but it only brings painful memories of what could have been but never withstood the test of time. i wish you can tell me what happened. i know you have moved on, but i haven't. and i don't know what to do.

 

if i think about wishing you happiness and success, it pains me because it would be without me. it hurts either way. i can't live like this, i need to move on but i can't. i hope you know what you did.

[MrWhite]

Sorry I had to start NC with you but it's not making me any good to see you or even think of you. It's not fair seeing you moving on and me being stucked in the same spot day in day out. You know it's you I want and at the moment you're not on the same page and I understand your reasons. I know I was the one messing things up and can only hope my explanations were clear to you. I'm really sorry... You know you've been my best friend but that's just not possible anymore. Hurts too much.

[Waraqqa]

I have been too nice to you, and it feels wrong. I remember how good you were to me at the start when we met and how neglectful and nonchalant you became later. I sometimes think that I created a Frankenstein with my excessive niceness, weakness, inability to step away and irrational fear to upset you. It is almost like I turned you into an uncaring person and a bad unreliable friend by my permissiveness and being so passive. I remember how in our fights or other interactions last year - those times that I did stand up and call you on your BS, next day I'd come to the office and see RESPECT in your eyes. I could only get that respect by standing up and being very clear about not taking your substandard treatment from you.

 

Then after the break-up of this year, it was not as easy. I saw some of your good bits also, and continued to allow your bad treatment. The post BU friendship was such a stupid idea. I should have cut everything off, but I couldn't. The more you felt that I care, the more you sniffed my weakness, the more nonchalant and uncaring you became.

 

I don't understand how this could be. Where is that guy from the beginning, the one who was serious, who was in love with me, who cared and wrote me a love poem? How could you turn from that sweet guy who followed me like a puppy to someone who started getting a bit over-confident and talking just about himself; and when I reacted coldly to that, break up with me? Then in the friendship treat me like some disposable buddy, cancelling at the last moment, showing up late, flaking all over the place. Later, still follow me for some time, proclaiming how you look for love rather than sex. The following year finally you got me back - crazy! - and after just one date started neglecting me again, cancelling and being massively late. Within a week, I broke it off - then you really thought you have nothing to lose. I left the door open on friendship, but of course it was a stupid idea. If any romance was off the table, why should you care about me as a friend? Somehow you suggested FWB, and for a few days were super attentive and nice to me. When I gave my answer as a vehement "no", you again dropped the nice and attentive act. It is clear now. I guess many men are like that. If sex is not even a vague hope somewhere, why try, why be nice or interested or give any attention. But I did! I was so stupid!!!!!! I can't believe how stupid and weak I was. I now hate myself. So low to have believed your stupid seductions, twice, and then be left with nothing while you walk away cool as a cucumber. Why did you chase me then? My life was so much better without you in it!

[ForgetYourEvil]

TWO WEEKS of NO CONTACT now. Round 2. I bet you're wondering why I stopped chasing you.. want to know why? BECAUSE IT WASN'T DOING ME ANY GOOD.. emotionally.. or anything. The only way to ever get you back is to get over you 100%. To move on.

[ForgetYourEvil]

15 days of No Contact now. Another night passed... another weekend night. What are you doing? I have no idea. Do you even care? I doubt it. Funny, because this time last year, we were so in love. I don't understand this right now. Hopefully in the future, I will be able to. Today is hard... weekends are hard.... I miss you... I really do. But I have to be strong, accept the relationship is OVER, and work on myself.

[Deadinside44]

Guess what. I'm getting over you.

[Seymore]

Staying out of the house today to keep myself from drinking. I remember every morning I used to write you a silly little poem on a post it and leave it for you to find when you left for work. I did that until you ran out of post its. You took it for granted. My goal is to stop caring and stop hating you.

[MrWhite]

I know you don't deal well with pressure but I also know you understand the reasons of yesterday's texting. I had to broke the NC to be sure of your intentions. Before yesterday, you had been very unclear with the words but very assertive with the attitude. Since things didn't add up, I needed to sort that out. As I told you, I rather prefer to deal with the truth than a fake illusion. Now I'm sure that there's no chance for us again. And that's ok. Like they say: it takes two to tango.

 

Does it hurt knowing it's really over? It does. And do you know what really upsets me? Knowing that I had everything from you and still failed to value it. I guess I'm learning the hard way.

 

I hope we can heal properly and find what makes us happy. Regarding the issues you're going through in the office, don't worry. Just do what you do best and things will sort out naturally.

[IAmFCA]

Hey, d face. You want to read everything I wrote and consider it. You want me to wait before I draw conclusions. For what, exactly. You on a white horse? Is this really going to.play out the way i have always said, such that the both of you become focused on me at the same last moment?

 

It was late the other night. I love you, itic. I love you, mwfn. Yeah, that is dysfunctional. Cut me off. Ive cut tjes.

[treesandbees]

Ugh. GD it obviously discussing you yesterday gave me a misery dream of you. You were in my parents house my parents were oddly still married and you were sleeping in my old bedroom and I wondered why my parents had you staying at their house when we have been broken up forever... and I go into the bedroom and see you tucked under a large heavy white down bed cover and I flick on a side table bed lamp and wake you up. I want to hug you and hold you but I resist the urge and you act like it is all normal and I ask what is going on here... because I think he left whomever and he blurts out he has been married for the last year, I am in shock and on his hand isn't a mens wedding band but a females diamond ring on his wedding finger but wasn't the ring he bought me !!!!!!! and I begin to cry and he of course vanishes .. I go to the balcony off my room and jump off it and land on the ground which is cold because of being winter and run of the driveway trying to find him...I am looking by a fence and my sister suddenly appears to share some wisdom, according to her and isn't helpful. I wake up crying and overwhelmed with sadness. MY cat wakes up, walks up and over my pillow and pushes her head under the covers and snuggles me as I cry and we both fall back to sleep. My dreams are no even a safety net for me.

[alc16]

I know your talking to M's ex. I know there was no intentions in the beginning, you just felt as though you need to apologize for your brother's actions. I think deep down it was really an apology from you to everyone you wronged in the same way before you met me. I'm proud of the man you became after meeting me. You have been speaking longer then an apology now, and I hope your being a good shoulder to grieve on whether it be through text or not, she deserves it no matter how brief their relationship was. At first I felt a mixture of anger and sadness, but I realized this could be what you need. She is closer to your age, she seems to have her life together, and seems like a genuine nice person. If you choose to pursue her, I hope it works out. I thought I was okay, but I had a horrible dream last night. You brought her to the house, told me she was staying the night. I did the ugly cry in my dream, I screamed, I threw things.. 6 weeks.

[ForgetYourEvil]

My goal is to stop caring and stop hating you.

 

I have a similar goal. Fantastic.

[ForgetYourEvil]

I haven't heard from you since Thanksgiving.

 

Who knows what the hell you're doing right now. But hey, I'm healing finally. I'm finally moving the F on with my life. I know you'll come crawling back at some point, when you realize the grass is not greener, baby. No f-ing way is it greener. You had EVERYTHING you really wanted with me.. and you just tossed it away like it meant nothing to you. You listened to your "wh0re" friends about what is best for you. Like they know.

 

Anyway, hope you had another awesome weekend and I hope you're enjoying the rain. I'm trying to move from hate to love, because, in the end, we're all just chalk lines on the concrete. So does any of this really matter anyway?!

 

You have NO idea what you did to me emotionally. You have NO IDEA the tears I have cried, the pain I went through, and the agony I endured. While you danced around at night enjoying your life, I mourned the loss of you and the relationship.

 

But the tables will turn. Soon, I will be so strong that NOTHING will take me down again.. and you will be the one wanting me back. I just know it.

[MrWhite]

I shouldn't be worried about your understanding of the NC period but I'm glad you understand why I need this. I don't think you know why you need me around when you're doing great in your recovery. Are you really? Well, it doesn't matter anymore. Regarding the texting on Christmas and NYE, do whatever you feel like doing but don't expect my reply. I started the first NC period with the wrong intentions but rest assure that this time is about me. It's not revenge nor punishment for you. It's something for me and about me. Like I told you today, I hope the best for you but also for me and right now, you're not it. You asked if I lied when I said you were my best friend... I didn't lie. NC is my strategy to overcome this. You chose a different one which I respect. Take care of yourself and don't worry. You'll be ok.

 

(I hope this is my last post in this thread. It helped me a lot.)

[Seymore]

I finally finished season 4 of Breaking Bad. I remember we started watching it over the phone and you were "so into it". Yet when I "moved in" you wouldn't shut up during an episode and we never could finish. Neither you nor I could remember what happened. Over 2 years and we got through two whole episodes. Your attention span was crap. 3 seasons into The Walking Dead and you still asked who Dale was. HE DIED LAST SEASON, DIPPY lol

 

And weird as it sounds, I actually miss missing those episodes with you. Hearing and following the show didn't matter as long as I passed out next to you.

 

But you were more concerned about my dad's approval. I always sided with you over him but it was never enough. Why was MY approval not enough? Why did it even come to that? Why did YOU not approve of yourself?

[Nicetry22]

Ugh this thread is amazing. Don't mind my super long post.

 

I am so angry at you!! Yet I still love you it hurts so bad. We were together for almost 3 1/2 years and randomly you decide you think its time to be single for a couple of months, and you aren't in love with me anymore. You couldn't tell me how long you have been lying to me about loving me, and you seemed offended that is how I would decipher it too. But you did lie to me!! Don't tell someone you love them if you don't. You tell me you can't say things won't happen in the future. I am glad I am a back up plan for you! That you will keep me hanging when I know you are just going to rub it in my face by being with someone else. You say there is no one else but I don't believe you, and you should understand why because you lied to me! We discussed things that we could work on, and they were easy fixes yet for some reason you didn't want to fix them. Seriously! How do you drop someone so fast and so easily.

 

You wanted to be friends and I agreed. You said you needed me in your life. All I could think about is how I hope you would want to get back together. That sticking with you through thick and thin would make you realize what you had. Now I know it wouldn't have because you didn't know what you had before....Why would you change your mind now? I was just torturing myself and giving myself false hope.

 

I told you I was trying to make up a list of things I didn't like about you and I only came up with one and that was that you broke up with me right before finals. I wanted you to know that I wanted you but I just built up your ego. Guess what there was more than one thing. I had multiple pages. Towards the end of the relationship you made me feel like nothing. You stopped making me feel loved and beautiful and overall just did not seem to care about me. Why did I stick around? Because stupidly I love you of course.

 

Now that we are NC I feel like I am struggling even more. I don't get to know if you are thinking about me and I don't get to talk to you and hear your voice. I keep losing in this situation but I don't want to anymore. I want to be happy without you and most importantly happy with myself. I thought I was a catch but apparently I was not, but I want to feel like I am one again. I want you to regret the fact that you left me. I want you to come back but I know you won't, and I have to accept that. I hope someday we can be friends but right now I guess I have to focus on me and then hopefully during that time you change your mind or I finally find peace.