ForgetYourEvil

MERRY CHRISTMAS to you and your family!

I was at the gym yesterday, and this absolutely beautiful, funny, and nice girl was staring at me (so my friend says). So I went over to her and sure enough, she replied "I like your socks." Just like that, we chatted and I set up a date with her for dinner in a few days. You snooze, you lose, ex.

Day 26. Can't believe it. I'm doing well! I had a dream about you.. that you found another guy.. but he was a complete loser. He didn't love you. He just used you. Seriously. Don't you realize that there is no one better for you? I am it. I'm the one. You can't see it yet. But you're smart.. you'll figure it out. Listen to your heart.. not your friends. You know I'm right.

Look at me, working late. On my laptop at home. Kicking a-- at my job. Loving my life. Crushed it at the gym. I'm looking the best I ever have. You're missing out on all of this.. but that's okay. Because life keeps on going on for me.

Boom. Got my down payment all set. Buying a house in the next few months. You're missing out on an awesome life with me. I will keep moving forward, baby!

"I just made you up.. to hurt.. myself..... and it worked.. YES IT DID! THERE IS NO YOU, THERE IS ONLY ME. THERE IS NO YOU, THERE IS ONLY ME. THERE IS NO FU-KING YOU! THERE IS ONLY ME. THERE IS NO FU-KING YOU! THERE IS ONLY ME. ONLY... Only.... only... only...." - Trent Reznor (NIN), Only

Day 24. Second round of NC. Killing me. Hope you're enjoying this Christmas week. Despite the hurt, I will always love you.

This is an awesome perspective. Is it your birthday today?

Just saw the new Star Wars movie in the theater we always went to. Loved the movie. Hope you're doing well. I think today is officially three weeks of NC. I'm making huge gains at the gym and huge gains in my quest to get over you so that the future can bring me whatever it is meant to bring. Definitely miss us, but you did what you felt was the best for us both. So I'm learning to just let go and trust that.

Yikes. Still.. I'd leave YESTERDAY if I were in your situation.. ask your friends if you can stay with them.. family.. anything. Get out of that environment.

You gotta get the f out of this environment. I don't care if you have to sell all of your crap to get your own place. This is NOT healthy....

Lost count. What has it been.. nearly three weeks? Since I last sent you a text.. since I last saw words on my phone from you.. meaningless words.. Finally, I can heal because I'm done reaching out. I'm not obsessing about the next magic text to send you. No.. the only way we can ever be together (if EVER) is if you contact me, apologize, and beg for me back. Because you tore out my f---ing heart, like in the sacrifice scene in the movie Apocalypto. You have NO IDEA the pain I have been going through. You have NO IDEA what it's like to have your future plans shattered.. you claim to have given me "many chances," but that's just a lie. That's you justifying your actions. I begged, pleaded, cried, hugged, proposed, showered you with apologies.. and none of it did a single thing -- but just drive you away for good. No idea what you're doing.. but f--- it if I'm going to waste my life waiting around for you. I'm moving on... and if you want me back, ever, you gotta chase me now.

So it's over? I didn't realize It's so much colder But it was no surprise Did you ever Get to know me? 'Cause it has never been so plain to see When you say you won't forget me I can tell you that's not true 'Cause every day since you left me I've thought less and less of you And I've worn out all the reasons To keep on knocking at your door Could be the changing of the seasons But I don't love you anymore The door is open You whisper to me As you stood frozen Deep on certainty I hope that you know What I am thinking Before you go With your heart sinking When you say you won't forget me Well I can tell you that's not true 'Cause every day since you left me I've thought less and less of you And I've worn out all the reasons To keep on knocking at your door Could be the changing of the seasons But I don't love you anymore Anymore Anymore

Every single day we don't talk (lost count), I realize more and more that I don't need you in my life (and why would I?). Clearly, you want nothing to do with me or my life... I mean, you broke up over the phone.. then sent your brother over with a "closure" letter. You didn't even have the guts to face me in person and do this right. Now you won't even talk to me -- I've been the one to reach out EVERY SINGLE TIME only to get your cold, terse responses. I'm trying not to waste a second of my f-cking life on you any longer. I am becoming stronger. I won't let you bring me and my amazing life down. The best revenge is success, baby... and I'm rockin' and rollin' in life. I was your A+ boyfriend. Miss me. Miss me like I miss you. You will. I know you will.

Watching the debate. I remember telling you that Carly would take over and surge in the polls. She's awesome. Though Trump is going to win the nomination (and I know you don't like Trump.. lol). So, anyway, I thought you'd like that. Hope you're doing well.