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It's been over a month now. All I get from you is your half ass responses on the few times I have texted you, and me bombing out when you did try to contact me which makes it hurt even more. And I sit here and don't even know if I should try again or not.

 

I feel like I'm on fire. I loved you with everything I had. I let you into my heart in places I swore I would never let someone. Then you just...stopped loving me. What did I ever do. I know I was sick for so long. I fought so hard to fix things and I had finally turned it all around in August. You cheated on me. Alot.

 

Yet I still love you. So much. My body just aches and I cry. I just want to be held like you used to when I was upset. But now I'm alone. Everyone has someone but me. Are you with her? Do you love her? Or was she just a piece of ass? I don't even know what to think anymore because you leave stuff of us up online but you don't talk to me. Or answer calls.

 

I just want a yes or a no. Let me have a yes or a no. I can't deal anymore with this limbo. At least give me that reprieve. Yes. or . No.

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i want so badly to text you tonight, to reach out. have this pain that washes me over and over just end. i am getting over three years of feelings that you had the idiocy to mess around with. i was up til 6 in the morning the other night just thinking about you- thrashing. so angry at myself that you haunt my mind, keep me awake. yet i know i can't talk to you - it would never fulfill me. it would go against for the new standards i've set for myself.

 

and YES i've been living life. yes i have my friends, yes i slept with someone new. the things i've always done, save the interruption of my extreme LOVE for you in my life. you are too emotionally distant for me. you are too emotionally distant to have a RELATIONSHIP with anyone. i thought you were gonna try for me, but i was wrong. and that's where you ****ed yourself.. you teased me one too many times and made me believe that you actually cared... which you didn't. well if i'm not enough for you, then you're not enough for me either.

 

mark my words - i will NEVER contact you again.

 

i can't believe i put up with you for so long; chased you sometimes. i know you miss me in your way but it isn't enough - not at all enough. you haven't even called. what do you expect???

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You are a pig.

My father died on sunday i needed you so much, you're father has also died i thought you would be able to help i thought you would know how i felt. I called and called you, you text me "sorry, you will be ok, seeya" i hate you. you are cold heartless and disgusting. Regardless if you have another girl i reached out to you as a friend, you make me sick. i will NEVER contact you or look in youre dicection again

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I would tell my ex the following:

 

"Thanks. Thanks for destroying my life, my dignity, my confidence, my respect, my self worth. But most of all, Thanks for giving me the chance to regrow into a better and stronger person because of all the sh!t i been through with you. And thanks for letting me see what hell is really like, because I am now appreciating my life more than ever before!"

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Why do you contact me any chance you get and tell me you love me?

 

If you loved me, you'd want to be with me. But you made the decision that you didn't. That your culture and your freedom was more important to you.

 

So now you need not to feel guilty and so you contact me to try and salve your conscience. To give you closure. But what about me? You know I've asked you to leave me alone, not to contact me. So why do you continue to do it? Don't you understand that you're stopping me from getting on with my life, that you're being selfish, that you're hurting me?

 

Why start to talk about the things that went wrong. About the things you think I did that made you want to leave? What difference does it make now? I'm not being given the opportunity to address the issues, so why bother bringing it up, unless to make you feel less guilty for what you've done (walk away like a coward - emailing me, instead of telling me to my face that its over). You drove me crazy too sometimes, but I accepted you for who you were. I let you be. You can't do that. Not then, and not now. You just could not accept who I was, good and bad bits, human, not superhuman. So I'm damned if I listen to you and I'm damned if I don't.

 

Why keep telling me you love me? Love is not a statement, its a choice. Its something we do, we show our love. We don't say we love someone and then abandon them. I guess you just don't really know the meaning of the word.

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So much has happened in my life that you are not aware of. I'm not talking about the inner massive change here.. It's my aunt getting cancer, my sister giving birth, my uncle threatening my mum and my favourite cousin going to court for a law offence. I can't contact you within all that. And I guess I can't believe it. With every day that goes by and every little event I can't share with you, the distance gets bigger. Geographically and emotionally. Really.. is this you and me we are talking about here?

 

I don't know what's true any more and I'm sad to see that me, the free soul, the proclaimer of love, now find it hard to love. A part of me has died and this is not just about us. It's about growing up. A loss of innosence, loss of a dream. Maybe life is not a fairground like I thought, maybe nothing is that special. Me or you. Maybe you'll marry the next girl you have because by then you'll be better careerwise and at the right age. And it's as simple as that, nothing to do with one in a million kind of love. I've been going against the norm for so long I think now maybe they are right. Maybe "average" is good ya know?

Maybe I've been an idealist all my life, an eternal dreamer. In a world of cynicism I wanted to follow my dream of freedom and progress and now...it's all so mundane and predictable really. We are all so similar..

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GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I WANT YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU I WANT YOU I WANT YOU I WANT YOU I WANT YOU

 

BUT

 

just friends would be good as well

 

even though I fear I am just trying to convince myself that I'd be fine with being just a friend to you.

 

ANYWAYS...

 

when are you going to dump him and come back to me?

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i really hate that i miss you, knowing ill never hold you again....

 

the new girl that i thought would replace you is gone....i think i wasnt ready but in the end im happy your gone from my life....you screwed me over so bad...dont know why i stayed with you, only hoping the good side of you will come out. but i guess it was your bad side that took over.....i hate your guts but i forgive you...your really messed up and have no morals....i guess i was saved from you and i cant help but think i shouldve ended the relationship earlier when u told me you kissed that guy 3days of being together and told me 3 months later....then u kiss the new guy after we broke up 3 days later???? what the eff is wrong with you??? I want you to be happy but i really think your gonna end up in tears....all the best though cause i hope youve learnt, even though it doesnt look like it..

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I would tell my ex the following:

 

"Thanks. Thanks for destroying my life, my dignity, my confidence, my respect, my self worth. But most of all, Thanks for giving me the chance to regrow into a better and stronger person because of all the sh!t i been through with you. And thanks for letting me see what hell is really like, because I am now appreciating my life more than ever before!"

 

Just wanted to say brilliant absolutely brilliant well said.

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I would tell my ex:

 

" You have hurt me beyond repair. But I realize that life can go without you. You lost a good girl but helped me become an amazing woman. I will always love you but I love myself way more. We deserve to both be happy and one day if we cross path, I will smile and say hello and go about my day. You're a closed chapter in my life that I wish to never revisit again."

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I miss you so much... I had envisioned our whole life together and now everything is shattered... I don't know where to go from here... Nothing means anything to me but you... Yet everything means more to you than me.. You are just not in love with me; there is nothing to do about that. I just wish I'd never taken you back, or even met you..

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I guess you never loved me after all. I still don't understand how you can be so cruel, how you can continue to go to the same church I do with your new girlfriend and ignore my existence. Sometimes I wish I never met you, because losing you has radically altered my life and my outlook on life.

 

No matter how many problems we had, I wanted to make it work. I thought you did too. I wish now I had listened to good advice and stayed away from you. I wish I had honored my instincts and forgotten about you before we became serious.

 

What really kills me is how you look and act so differently now. You used to have a smile on your face. Now you look so serious with your stony expression. How come she's good enough for you to trim your hair and wear nice clothes? How come I wasn't good enough for you to do that? How come holey jeans and dishelved hair was good enough for me, not good enough for her?

 

Was I not pretty enough? Was our being an interracial couple too much pressure for you? Did you just want to be accepted by the crowd, and being with me was a hindrance to that goal? I can't believe what an ugly and awful person you have become to me.

 

Are you still going to the same church with your girlfriend just to prove how desirable and loveable you are? Was that for my benefit? I don't know how you could break my heart when your heart was broken the same way before I met you. Why would you do to me what someone else did to you? What would cause you to do that? Where is your heart?

 

I just don't know anymore. I just don't want to care anymore. I just want to forget you and move on. I just want to forget you were ever in my life.

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Dear Ex!

 

I'm glad you left me! In the six weeks since you left I have been offered a fantastic promotion in the City, doubled my salary, lost a stone and a half and going on a fab holiday to Canada - leaving next week.

 

I hope you and your rebound are happy and the antibiotics are making you feel crap (Yes I DO know about that) Nae luck and screw you!!

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Dear Ex!

 

I'm glad you left me! In the six weeks since you left I have been offered a fantastic promotion in the City, doubled my salary, lost a stone and a half and going on a fab holiday to Canada - leaving next week.

 

I hope you and your rebound are happy and the antibiotics are making you feel crap (Yes I DO know about that) Nae luck and screw you!!

 

 

oh dear me..! I laughed, that's great stuff, so inspiring!!!

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I also want to add, thanks for everything you put me through. It's only made me a better person. It only increased my faith. I've learned how strong I really am. I've learned to rely on God for my needs instead of you. I learned that I don't need a man to a lot of the things I was afraid to do alone, like making major purchases. Soon I'll have my own house. I didn't need you to get it. Now I do things I truly enjoy, like latin and ballroom dancing, something I never would have done if I stayed with you. My singing has gotten better since you abandoned me. Now I sing with more range, feeling, and conviction. Now that your'e not clinging to me, I've grown spiritually and ventured out of comfort in different ministry opportunities. I have much more growth to do, and many more ventures to embark upon, but I will say your awful treatment of me has definitely helped me mature and become a more solid person.

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Im sorry for all the hurtful things ive done if ever..and i forgive you for all the pain you afflicted on to me in resent time..I hope your happy now that im not in your life...

and i do hope you found your SOUL-MATE like you said..i wish you nuthing but the best in life for you and your family,and i promise you will be nuthing more then a beautiful memory. I understand im stilll young and some day i will have someone who will

love me and only ME!!

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sadly u will never know i much i had loved you, u wont ever see the damage you caused to me. over the past year i can still feel the stabbing in my back. as much i still care, i hate you...i have never been the same man, and i hope for the rest of you life, you feel stupid and regret all you have done to me.

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I was thinking about everything we've been through and it brought tears to my eyes. I mean, how did we get here? It's so crazy how life works. One day we're planning our whole future together and now you dont even want me. Where did I go wrong? I loved you and gave all I had to give, I never let you down and I put up with things that no other girl would've put up with yet you walked away and seem to be living happy and moving on meanwhile i'm hurting. I didn't even get closure and for some reason, i'm beginning to think this is really the end. As much as I love you, what good is that if deep down you really wouldn't wanna be with me and set your mind on us? I can't force you to wanna be with me. And unfortunately, I can't force the pain away neither. I'm losing faith and strength. You'd think after being apart for 5 months, the pain would subside in the least bit, but not at all. My heart still yearns for you.

 

What hurts the most is I remember exactly what you told me one night. You looked me in the eye and you started tearing up. You said, "Promise me you'll never leave me, I love you". But it turns out you were the one that left me and threw everything we worked so hard for away. I don't get why the change of heart, I don't think ill ever understand that part.This isn't how things are supposed to be. We're supposed to be together. We should be, but we aren't.

 

-I just had to vent, I was this close to texting him. I wonder if this ever gets any easier?

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You told me I was stuck with you. That wasn't true. You told me you wanted to be my wife.

 

All I want to know is why but I know you cannot answer that. You stayed with that abusive thug for 9 years. I would have given you everything and you gave up on me.

I don't know who you are any more. Well I do. You're the person that I first met. The one who didn't really care, who just wanted to get drunk and sleep around to avoid having to face life. And now it's happening all over again. You told me that it was just about sex and company between you and him. The guy I saw you with a week after you ended it. The straw that broke the camels back.

You're on the verge of losing your daughter because of your lack of action and your desperate need to escape from who you really are. But I have to wonder if that might not be what you want. Without her around you can get on with your party girl lifestyle that you seem so desperate to cling to.

You have given me so many different reasons for ending it and I'm not even sure if you know the reason.

You lied to me, you used me. You knew how I felt and you took advantage. And every week you come up with a new revelation that makes me doubt myself and what we had. You even rubbed my nose in it about having company last night. I cant let you keep hurting me.

This is the first day of no contact and I still wait for my phone to go off. I know you didn't go to the solicitors today to sort out contact. I saw you in the library on your precious Facebook.

Life is gonna bite you in the * * * * and you are gonna be left with nothing.

 

If anything good has come out of this, it's that I've seen my faults and I'm working to put them right. And the person that will come out of the other end of this journey will be so much better, so much stronger. You will still be that scared little girl trying to hide from your problems.

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i gave u 5 years of my you * * * * * heart and gave u everything you wanted you * * * * * we said our vows in front of god and people we loved and with no regret you leave me in pain and shame, shame on you for making me fall in love with you and making me believe you loved me back, i wish on you ten fold what you did to me, i wish i had the heart to be horrible and dishonest and a horrible animal like u, u know thins might literlty kill me and u dont give a damn, who are u * * * did i marry ? i hate you right now everyhing was a lie you * * * * * ,, you nutcase who leaves a man that cares for u more then his own life, one day i was your world and literly the next day you leave you * * * * i hate you * * * * * HHHH go be the * * * * you proved to be u stupid hoe, who laughs at a person when they cr u * * * * * , only you. bipoler devil i i ended my life. go be happy now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Stop texting me! Of course I'm not talking to you. You have done nothing but hurt me over the last 10 weeks. You wanted to keep "the best friend you ever had" well you should thought of that before you lied to me, used me and took advantage of how I felt. You made your bed now lie in it! You knew what you were doing and you knew the consequences and did it anyway. You're only deceiving yourself if you think otherwise.

And yes it pisses me off that you're out pissing it up every weekend but "can't afford" to give me the money you owe me.

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