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Nynnja

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i just wished we eneded better.....you lied about the reason you broke up with me....i even said a week before we broke up "since now your graduated your gonna leave me for a banker".....she said "no im not, stop being insecure".....1 week later u were with him....you couldnt even wait a day to be with him...

 

but i know we're not meant to be....i lost myself and and let go of my beliefs....

 

now im here regaining everything i lost in me and new gains that will make me better...i will take every lesson from our 2 years and bring it to my new relationship...whenever it comes....I wish you all the happiness in the world!!!!

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You hurt me so so much. You threw me away like a piece of garbage... after I put so much effort into keeping YOU happy and keeping US alive.

 

Now you have a girlfriend... what makes her so special? Why wasn't I good enough?? I bet you treat her a million times better than you ever treated me.

That makes me sad cos I deserve so much better. I can't believe you could just ignore me... you really broke my heart.

 

Because of you, I don't think I will be able to trust or open my heart up to anyone for a very long time. This makes me angry because I might miss out on someone truly wonderful because of the damage you caused.... the fact that I clearly meant nothing to you make it even worse.

 

I can honestly say I never want to see your face again.

 

I hope you get what you deserve. Remember mate, what goes around, comes around.

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You have hurt me so much!

You have dumped me twice in three weeks. I am a fool for letting it happen.

You dumped me days before my birthday.

You are still using me as you're emotional punching bag cause you know i love you.

 

You have treated everyone better than you have treated me.

I trusted you, i bought you in to my life and you hurt me.

I told you my deepest darkest secrets and you cant even be honest with me.

 

I wish i hated you.

I went NC you must have sensed i was feeling better about myself, you declared you're love to me, you spent a few nights with me, you used me for sex, then surprise surprise you dump me....again.

you have given me so many different reasons why you dumped me, why cant you be honest.

 

Your'e ex girlfriend lied to you, cheated on you, stole from you. you stayed with her, you took her to meet you're family, you loved her.

I gave you the world and you chewed me up and spat me out.

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I still miss you sometimes, and there are moments when I want you back.

 

I'm starting to doubt my love to you, though. Because I don't want you to be happy. I want you to suffer. Suffer and regret for ever leaving me after I fought so much for you.

 

I tried not to hate you... I really did. But what you did after the break up... who you were after it... you gave me all the reasons to hate you.

 

I now realize how different we are. We always were. Your friends vs. mine. We tried to make it work, they tried to make it work, but in the end water just can't mix with oil.

 

I was a fool to have actually thought you were different. All you can see is your effort. You never saw mine.

 

"Don't act like I didn't fight for you. I did. Hard, and for a long time. So please, forgive me if now that we're over, I'm exhausted." - Blair Waldorf

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i can't believe you had my heart for three years, and dashed it to the ground.

 

but NOT before telling me that my "things have to change" email "opened your eyes" and "slapped you into being the better person you need to be".

 

that better person was someone who sees me as "more of a friend than anything else.."

 

thanks for taking all this time to decide.

thanks for taking what was becoming a friendship after i finally healed, and turning it into a relationship that you ultimately didn't even want.

thanks for seriously, stomping the **** out of my heart.

 

you've bled me dry.

you probably thought i'd be hanging around forever, and it's like i finally see the behavior i settled for from you.

but you made it impossible, you made it SO HARD for us to be any way except exactly the way you wanted.

but all that's over now.

 

i hope you enjoy your new life without me.

you've taught me that some people in this world truly are scum who will lie down and dirty to preserve their status quo.

 

you've taught me to protect myself from people like you.

 

goodbye, soul-mate.

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How can you be so cold? How can you have gotten over me so quickly after you devoted five years of your life to me? You still have our old cat...how can you cuddle with her every night and not think of me? How can you love your independence this much? Don't you see that I like independence too? I just don't want to date anyone else because they don't hold a candle to you, so I don't see the point. Are you dating someone? Do you love her already? Does she have curly hair? Does she make a lot of money? How could you have sent me that email telling me you could possibly spend the rest of your life with me and be happy? How could you have dashed my hopes only four weeks later when you said "I don't think it would work out, despite what I wrote. We tried so long, and I felt trapped."??? How could you do this to me? Do you know there is no one else in the universe who will love you like I did? Do you realize what you've thrown away? How could you tell me you want to be friends?

 

I wish I could hate you. I wish I could take you off this pedestal and move on. I will someday, but until then, eat poop and die. I hate you for what you've done to us.

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in a way I am glad you're breaking your mold, dancing around with this older lady that becomes your dancing partner, because you used to be very introverted and just refuse most of social things. This lady seems strong and you seem to enjoy the outings. The military life can be dull for you and you've been wanting to dance for months just have no partner to do it.

 

sad that you are doing these means you're farther away from me, and obviously you have no idea i knew these. It's fine. I'm glad for you.

 

I'm doing well here.. though i dreamed you got a few of ladies number and while i feel excited in the dream for you, when i woke up i realized, yeah you're moving on. without me.

 

you talked to me indirectly on social networking site- obviously as a friend. I replied to one of them. then i found out I am not ready.

 

someday, maybe. I am still feeling a bit bothered by the fact you flirted all your exes back, and of course be friending with the one you cheated me on.

 

but that is fine. it's pretty clear i am not read to be your friend, not a long while.

 

I am scared that I'd lose my chance to be your friend in the future, maybe you lose interest in me as a friend or something like that but it hits me like a ton of bricks- should THAT happen, that means we're never friends to begin with.

 

I have to focus on myself, i shouldn't care if you're dating other girls or even cultivating good relationship with your ex, I should focus on me.

 

i do miss you. a lot. wish I can just talk about your dancing escapades, photography and stuff, I am really interested and happy you're breaking your own mold when you said you dislike change.

 

you are changing. unsure for the better or for worse, but you are, and hopefully it's for the better.

 

I'm happy. and a bit sad. but mostly, I'm positive. good luck to you... I still love you.

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You destroyed my life. For two years you told me you loved me and talked to me about the future. Yet, as soon as another woman comes along you dump me. How could you? I was there for you during the worst time of your life. I waited on you like you ask me too. I hope you never know another moment of happiness. I hope she dumps your drunk, opinionated ass in the dirt. Thanks for nothing! The only thing I have to show from two years with you is this gaping hole in my heart. Screw you!!!!

 

P.S. She will not stay with you. You are the hardest man in the world to live with. I can't wait for you to get yours!!! What goes around comes around.

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i dont like you being in my mind.....i want the memories not to hurt anymore....i want to forget all the memories....i want to delete you in my memory banks.....i dont ever, ever, i mean ever want to see you again......i just hope everything goes well wiith you as long as you dont contact me ever again....i thank god everyday cause you dont contact or havent contacted me!!!!

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Okay, this time i have to actually vent.

 

Dear M,

 

I HATE that no matter what you do or say to me, i still love you. I hate that you can move on so quickly after our relationship that it seems you never cared.

 

I HATE that no matter what i try to do to get over it, you find something to make me feel worse about myself.

 

I HATE you. so why do i love you?

 

Just get out of my mind for good. I want the last three years of my life back.

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I miss you so much. I am proud of myself for actually sticking to NC for the last week, but why does it still have to hurt so much? I hate that I love you still. I wish that I could destroy all of our memories together Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind style. Do you obsess about me the same way that I obsess about you? Obviously not. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I am so scared that I will never find someone that makes me feel the way that you did when everything was still amazing. I don't want to cry anymore. You were the light of my life and now everything is so dark without you. Why did you have to hurt me the way that you did? I want to forgive you but I am not sure that I will ever be able to.

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I hate you!

I hate that it was my birthday last night, i hate that i had my closest friends with me but all i was thinking about was you.

I hate that there was a empty seat next to me when we were having dinner.

 

I hate that everyone tells me you are not worth it.

I hate i have to LIE to my friends, cause if they ever found out i took you back and you dumped me 2 days later they would lose respect for me, like i lost respect.

 

I hate the fact i was drunk and text you, i feel DUMB!

I hated it more when i woke up this morning and there was no reply.

I hate the fact you have been texting me for the last 2 hours, like nothing has every happened. How can you say you want to still talk everyday and hang out most days....as friends. you cant have you're cake and eat it too, i wont let you.

 

I miss you so much!

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I don't hate you. I love you so very much, and I miss who you were. I miss talking on the phone until you'd fall asleep, and I miss you telling me how you'd wake up in the middle of the night afraid that I'd hung up on you.

 

Why won't you just tell me the truth?

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every physical memory of you is gone. all that now remains is mental. i am working with a pharma company in developing a drug that removes particular memories. as soon as it is done, you are GONE BABY DOLL!

 

thanks for dragging me along all over the place. i sit here licking my wounds and my bruises but i will not beg, plead or talk to you again. you conniving little wench!!! you are no friend of mine. friends don't hurt friends like this.

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Why you told me yesterday, you will always love me?, then why you did everything you did, why you told me you'll always miss me, why you told me you wish things would be different for us and the greatest things for us is if we can get back together, but you are with other guy now?, WHY WHY WHY!!!!

 

I can't hate you, i can't have any bad feelings for you, i just wish you the best, and please please please take care that part of me that you have!.

 

Ill maintain this NC forever. Sorry

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You're a liar and a game player. Always have been, always will be. I don't know what I ever saw in you, except for your ability to be so utterly selfish and self-centered. You got what you deserved from the person you left me for in the end, though. And, as you said yourself, "what comes around, goes around."

 

Despite it all, I will always love you and wish you nothing but the best. Just don't expect me to be there.

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