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dear "ex"


i'm tired of hearing your excuses about having to go through it alone. i was always there for you... but obviously it wasn't good enough.


i'm sorry that you're going through a rough time, but i can't let you justify your hurtful actions to me because of it. i was "understanding" through a lot.... but i cannot understand how anyone can get through this.


i hate you so much right now... but the thing i hate the most is that i still love you. at least now i know i need to love myself more..... and to do that, i need to move on to someone who is more deserving of what i have to offer.



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xxxxx -


I am sorry that i ruined your life. I am sorry that i was not there for you when you needed it. I am sorry that I did all the things that I did which resulted in you not wanting to be with me. I wish i could go back and take away all the things that happened that truly didnt matter in our relationship but had such a negative affect. I wish that you would love me the way you used to love me, the way you said you would always love me.


I have lost you now and there is nothing i can do to change that. I have to come to terms with that. I hope that you know that the times we had together were extremely special to me and will be things that I remember forever, but I am now going to have to make those memories less meaningful because we can not share them together and that kills me.


I hope you enjoy your new life and look back on me with great pride and joy even though i know that you have moved on and I need to do the same.


We shared a great portion of our lives together and I thought that would never end even during all the heartaches and fighting. I am sorry that I let it get to this point. I am sorry that there was nothing I could do to make you feel the way you used to feel about me. I am sorry.

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It kills me to see that you rather keep a friendship with her than to save our relationship, after all the years we've known each other...you say there was never anything in between you two and you have no interest in having a relationship with her ever because of the stupid things you've done.


I hate that I miss you so much, and right now I hate remembering all the good times because it hurts when I allow myself to remember. I hate how willing you are to try and get in touch with other girls to see if you can get laid. We both know how great our sex life was...why wasn't it enough? I've been nothing but generous in every aspect of our relationship, why did you just take and run?!


I need to move on, I deserve someone who isn't afraid and is man enough to give me love in return. You're just a boy Robert, you're just a boy.

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I wish I knew that this guy you left me for was actually worth it to you... and was better for you than I could have ever hoped to be... and I wish I knew he treats you wonderfully and will forever make you happy.


If I knew this, I would be able to be thrilled for you. Instead I worry you left me for something that was simply more "convenient" and are trying to convince yourself that he's perfect for you.


If you had left me for someone who was truly better than me, then I could feel better about your reasons for leaving me.

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Hey there,

I miss you, more than you can imagine. But I care about you too much to stand in the way of your happiness. I guess that's the martyr in me. It kills me not to have you in my life, my friend.


I kept too many things to myself in our last convo. I thought I was prepared for it. But in the end, I was too numb to say anything, but nod to whatever you said. I was scared I'd start crying if I said too much. I didn't want you to see me weak. You know, I could barely walk when I left you that day.


I would've put up more of a fight for our relationship instead of giving up so easily if I knew you wanted me to. But I'll never know. I won't break NC b/c I don't want to find out officially if you've cancelled that account-the one that was only for me. You initially pursued me, and I won't beg for you to stay.


I'll never forget you and will always treasure my time with you. I hope you do the same. If only circumstances were different and you were more honest with me. I wonder how things would've been...

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Crap, I was doing so well today!!!


Hasn't even been a week since you told me that after some time this might be something we can work through...I still don't know what the hell prompted you to end it! And that's horribly frustrating. I'm supposed to sit here and blindly hurt, while giving you the space you asked for.


Two weeks since we split feels like a darn long time, I'm sure you don't feel that way...so I'll press on until you decide you want to tell me what's up, and whether or not you want to give it another shot.

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You still cant leave me alone even after a full month of NC you have to attempt to swoop back into my life with a few pathetic texts just incase i forget you, i just find it so pathetic is really rather funny, if apparently im a "bitter, jealous parasite" and you "hate me" then why do you feel the need to text and tell me that? why not just get on with your life? I did nothing wrong to you appart from react to the abuse that YOU dished out, everything ive ever said in pain that was wrong ive apologised unreservedly for but still you try to make out im a monster thats to blame for everything, ive never been so amazed by someone who, in the space of a month has completely and utterly convinced themselves that they are a victim and did absolutely nothing wrong, deluded is an undetrstatement. Were you a victim when you were throwing me around the bed by my throat with both your hands until i couldnt breath and had tears streaming down my face?

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I hate the fact that you were able to make me feel like this. I still don’t understand what changed. I supported you in everything that you did and as soon as everything comes good for you you left me and didn’t even seem to care. I feel so betrayed by you, you told me you loved me 3 weeks in and you were the one who suggested we move in together. How could you be too young for any of this now? I gave up everything for you and now you have everything. I’m sick of feeling this way, sick of not knowing where I went wrong. What right do you have to text me and ask me if I’m ok? Of course I’m not ok and I’m not going to say I am just so you can feel better.

I can’t remember you ever apologising for anything. I know things were not the same towards the end but you didn’t even talk to me about it. You said things had changed and that was it, you didn’t even give us a chance to work anything out. You made up your mind before you even said anything to me.


Why did you talk about buying a house with me, having kids with me when it was so easy for you to forget all about that the first time we hit a rough patch. I tried so hard to treat you well, to be there for you and I know you were there for me I just don’t understand how it all ended so fast. Did you ever love me? Did you mean anything you said? Was I so horrible? You broke my heart and I could never trust you again. I can’t imagine being able to be your friend, seeing you with someone else would break me again. I wish you hadn’t suggested we be friends, it was an empty gesture because I may never see you again.


Do you ever have second thoughts about me? I wish I hadn’t invested so much of myself into us, as far as I was concerned you were the person meant for me. I miss you and I still love you but you don’t deserve it, don’t expect anything from me ever again. I hate that the last time I saw you I was such a mess, you were so cold and unfeeling. You mislead me, you made me dream about our future, I’ve never done that with anyone else but I will do it again with someone better for me.


I just don’t think you understand. I don’t want an explanation or an answer to any of this. It’s over and I have accepted that. Goodbye.

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I cant believe we have not spoken in 10 days.

10 days, do you even care?

we live 2 streets away, i feel like i cant even leave my house and go to the supermarket, i dont want to bump in to you ever. You have made me feel so stupid, i caught you telling lies, how did you think i felt the day you dumped me , via text to! only to see you a few hours later with the ugliest girl ever, you saw me, you * * * * your'e self, i had caught you. My whole world feel apart, i cried i vomited but i didnt let you see any of that, i played it so cool, you dont dererve to see me hurt. My friends were laughing at you, at you're pathetic attemps to latch on to the first girl who looked you're way, trackies and a hoddie is a really good look for girls in a bar babe! you were embarressed! thats why when i left you sent me all those messages, you know you screwed up.


I went NC with you for 6 days, not because i wanted you back but becuase i though you didnt deserve me after that, i would never be so cruel to you, ever.

Then i started to Miss you, stupid me gave in to you;re crap.

We spent, thursday friday saturday and sunday together, you used me for sex by saturday is became obvious, on monday you decided once again you were to busy and couldnt give me what i wanted, once again you lied and tore my heart out,

Last week it was my birthday, you forgot next day you send a message "oh it was your birthday" thats when i asked you to not contact me ever again, its been 10 days since and here we are. I love you but i hate you so muc.

you're behaviour is disgusting.

All those times you said you're relationships didnt work out cause the woman was crazy i look back now and see you are the crazy one.

you lie so much you forget you're lies/

I wish you didnt live 2 streets away because i NEVER want to lay eyes on you again. Just a pathetic loser with a huge ego problem!

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I love you soo much. My love for you was pure. I wanted nothing in return, only your love back. When you were nothing, I was with you. When you had no money, I was there standing by you. If you had nothing and only lived in a box on the street, I would be right there next to you. Tell me if you will find another girl who would do the same for you where you're from. I doubt it. They only care about money and what you can give them. Who sat with you for hours and made you laugh, helped you to grow intellectually, showed you tenderness and care, and made sure YOU were ALWAYS happy...it was ME!


I was committed to you, I loved you more than any woman will ever. Why am I not good enough? How can you move on like it is nothing? You broke my heart so bad you almost killed me...but you...your life is just grand! a new job, life, you'll soon be engaged....what about me? I'm still alone...I'm still hurting...and I can't get you out of my mind...you put a hold on my heart and my thoughts....


Is it fair that you can just move on ....doesn't God punish those who hurt ones who don't deserve to be hurt? Will you ever regret losing me? Do you still love me? What do I do now? It's been 2 weeks...and I don't know what to do I don't know how I can live without you....

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i don't even have the urge to contact you, i am going to change my handphone so that it doesn't remind me of you. no anticipation = no pain. no expectation = no pain.


i thought the problem was me, i finally realise it was you. you are defective, i couldn't do anything anymore.


i am so disappointed to the extend i don't feel much anymore, not even pain. i don't hate you, i am still thankful for the great time you gave me. i must say it was the best time of my life.


thanks, but i can't love you anymore. you asked for this. you are insane to treat me like that. what makes you think that i will put up with that and you can do no wrong? i am the prize, not you.

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Oh, ex, why do I keep thinking about you today?! I was doing so well-- feeling good, being very active and social, waking up happy and secure in myself. And now I am circling back to you in my thoughts, feeling a bit depressed again, wondering about "what could have been"...


I guess that's the way grief works, it's a circular process and there are peaks and valleys. I know I'll make it past this and on to happier times. I'm so proud of my recovery from our breakup... I am exercising like crazy and hanging out with friends and family. I am working toward my personal goals. I am *shock!* dating. I am committed to staying the course and working through the grief, until these valleys disappear.


Today I miss you, though. I wonder how you are, and what you're doing. I wonder how your family is, and what's up with the new baby. I think about the many random reasons you gave while dumping me... were they true? Who knows. It doesn't matter.


You know what I do know? You didn't love me enough. You didn't appreciate me for the amazing being that I am. You were not capable of a mature, committed relationship complete with sex, communication, and mutual support. And even though I'm sad today I know that I deserve and will someday find someone who loves me and is strong and skilled enough to build a great partnership. And this experience is helping me learn and prepare for that!


Goodbye, ex. I may need to say goodbye another few times before you're really gone forever from my thoughts, but that's ok. You're slowly fading into the corners of my brain. I am strong and resilient and have faith in the mysterious nature of the universe. This too shall pass!

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You turned me in to this needy, desperate woman, someone i hate. I am not going to let you do this to me anymore. Sure i still miss you, sure for some unknown reason i still love you. But really why am i wasting so much energy on a man that lies and cheats. you are the worst kind of human, you think its ok. You prey on vunerable women, i had to much of a personality for you, you told me you're self i have no much of a "mouth" god forbid a woman that speaks her mind. Go find you're little yes girl you can boss around and feel goos about, cause that aint me.

You are pathetic, you are a liar and a cheat. you dont think what goes around comes around. Sure even if you do have a new girl do you think its going to last? ofcourse it wont cause you will screw it up, you're always looking fir the next best thing.

who do you think you are.

You know my friends used to laugh at you, my friends used to say OMG you can do so much better, looks meant nothing to me and i loved you despite what EVERYONE said, you were the laughing stock of everyone we saw you that day with some girl in trackies and a hoddie, you were embarressed, you know you were.


Good luck baby, cause you;re gonna need it!

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i hate everyday because i know it's either going to be a good day or a bad day.....i think about you everyday and seems that the only time i can get my mind off you is when im with this other girl....but i cant even get with her cause your still on the back on my mind....i watched a movie last night about breaking up by myself like you used to do....it was actually good to go by myself....it hurt but i was strong enough not to cry.....


i hate the fact that i cant call you, email you or text you....im trying hard to forget your number...your with him now that im sure of, i really hope your happy and if you do end up marrying him i wish you the best.....i guess i just gotta do what i gotta do in life......i hate the fact that i cant talk about my day to anyone like i do with you.....really honestly like we used to do....it feels lame when i tell other people my day, at least you can with the person you have now....im messed up somedays and some days i just wanna diie cause life sucks.....i feel like giving up on my dreams cause of you, sometimes i dont care what happens to me and just wanna dump uni and just work fulltime doing a job i hate...


but in the end i know im gonna be alright, ive been living my life without you before for 8 years, so i know i can live without you...i dont know why you came to my life when i was happy being single.......we went through so much together and all honesty in the beginning i was the one that wanted to leave you, but you grew on me......not in a positive way. i thought the last couple of months together we were doing alright, but i guess i didint see the other guy coming, you talked about him out of nowhere. well im tired of thinking why you left me.....i just wanna lose my weight and focus on my studies and find God again.


I guess you became the most important person in my life but now i just have to let you go.....i have but i know deep inside myself i want you to call or text or email me which sucks.......ill always have the memories which sucks but i know they wont hurt or matter anymore in time.....i hate that i loved you so (her name)

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today is your birthday, i didn't contact you, i had never been so harsh to you, i learned this from you, and not half as cruel as you had been to me. i never like silent treatment, unless it is over, which is where i am heading, or i will never do this on you. BUT YOU !! you did this to me again and again not with the intention of breaking up, and claiming to love love love me after that. are you crazy or what? you are so bloody stupid to kill me heart, kill me love for you! you are going to regret this for the rest of your life. you asked for this. i could be so nice and sweet to you, i made you so happy , we were so happy together all these three years, why did you keep doing this? why are you so immature emotionally? it is so disgusting to see a 44 years old man acting like a 4 years old, frequently. it really pissed me off, and made me lost my trust in you!!

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I just posted this lyric on another thread, and it seems so completely fitting of my situation that it's all I can do not to send it to my ex. I won't, but if he writes to me again, this will be my response:


You'll take advantage 'til you think you're being used

Cause without an enemy your anger gets confused

I got stuck on the side you know I never chose

But it's all about taking the easy way out for you I suppose


There's no escape for you except in someone else

Although you've already disappeared within yourself

The invisible man who's always changing clothes

It's all about taking the easy way out for you I suppose


Well I don't want you making mistakes

I wish you luck I really do

But the problem with the puzzle

Whatever's left to you


I heard you found another audience to bore

A creative thinker who imagined you were more

A new body for you to push around and pose

It's all about taking the easy way out for you I suppose

It's all about taking the easy way out for you I suppose


Thank God for Elliott Smith. RIP

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I wish you were a jerk, but you aren't.


You were about as emotionally distant as anyone I have ever met before though.


Why did you hold on to everything and only let me see your heart once every couple of months? Do you know how hard that is? It makes me wonder if you ever knew yourself at all.


Now I'm sitting here this morning, wondering what you meant by "we're friends." Is this your idea of friendship? Why do I even care?


The right thing for me to do is to wish you well, and hope that you have a good life, and that everything works out for you.


I'm trying so hard to say that. It's just going to take a little while longer than I thought it would.

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Well now, EX.


You probably don't realise this, because I gave up talking to you eventually, but you are off your pedestal. I have moved on. I have replaced you (at last) as you replaced me. I have ALL of MY friends (they were never yours anyway, I was right all along, they ditched you when you hurt me), plus a few more, a life, a home, a good job, my health. I've been working on myself while you've dodged it with him. What do you have? Jack s***. You were lonely when I met you and you will be lonely again. I know why now. You have a victim complex, you choose to dislike people who have done nothing to you because you are insecure over your past. Your dad screwed up your family, you've been screwed over by your previous boyfriends, your friends have betrayed you. Ever wonder why? Get over yourself.


Have a nice life.


PS: Something I studied recently...


Slag. A partially vitreous waste product of smelting ore to purify metals. A by-product (i.e. worthless s*** that no one wants). Reminded me of you.

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