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WomanWriter, it seems like we were in the same type of relationship as I have thought these same things to say to my ex. But I can't blame my strong personality for the break up. I can't help that I am open and honest and sometimes people either appreciate it or get turned off by it. I just have to go out there and find someone who is understanding of me... is able to be my counter-part and check me when I am stepping out of line, instead of keeping it inside for years then using it as an excuse to break up with me.

If I saw my ex, I would give him an Oscar because the act he put for all those years is truly deserving of it. I would tell him that yes, you did waste my time but it taught me a valuable lesson and for that I can not and will not hate him. He may have conjured up all of the negative things about me in his head to keep himself from loving me, but I cannot live that way. I also cannot live to please others as I tried to do for him. I do have to put myself first and it's sad that he didn't see that I was not doing that. I hope he sees that when he spends all his time doing favors for everyone else but himself... he is not getting closer to God or an imitation of Jesus, he is merely living an unfulfilled life on Earth, not making the best of what God gave him in the first place. I hope that he finds his passion in life and that eventually, if not already, a woman comes into his life that fulfills all his needs and he feels comfortable enough to open up to her and live a passion filled life. I also hope the same for myself, but for the next little while I am concentrating on me... getting my life in order and when my intuition tells me I am ready to get back out there, I will. I know that God has someone out there for me that will understand me and love me unconditionally.

He will always be in my heart and he is a good person.

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I am almost sad that you are finally fading! The hurt is less, I don't cry as much and I am actually bored of thinking about you. I am just back from a fantastic holiday and hardly thought about you and i was surprised. You were a terrible boyfriend and I can see that now.

I have found it very theraputic deleting you competely from my life as if you were never there in the first place. Why should i waste anymore time thinking about someone like you - you told me you didn't want a relationship and you then got a new gf that weekend. You are a lying dog and you only wanted to be my friend so you wouldn't feel as bad! I hope someone hurts you as bad as you hurt me and then maybe you will realise! I hate you.......

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It's been over a year now. But the pain still remains. Sometimes it just springs up on from the dark, untold, and I put on my bravest front to fight it. Not always do I win in taming the past, there are times like now where I am drowned under the misery of 'what we had'.

 

I know you moved on seconds after you said it's over, or perhaps before, so it doesn' come as a shock that you are with someone else. I wish you the best. You were my all, you treated me bad and I yet stuck by you. Don't know why...but yes I do miss our good times.

 

I still love u deep down despite how much I lie to myself..but that won't stop me from finding someone else, ever day I take one step towards being the person I was before I met you.

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Having a bad day today. Was trying to clear away all the things you gave me and I couldn't do it. Broke my heart to throw away all the toys etc you gave me when we were happy.

Really want to contact you just to tell you I still love you. I don't want a reply or anything because i don't think you will but I just want you to know! I can't get over you - I miss you every single day and when i do have good moments and i think i am going to be ok something reminds me of you and and I start to cry.

Its been two months and I still check my phone in case you text me or call me! I wish you would come back to me. I can only blame myself although im not sure what I did wrong!

I wish you would just disappear from my thoughts as if you were never there!

I love you so much!

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well i guess you have made it official that you really have moved on.... your facebook page says it all. You two look good together and I judged him wrong. He seems like a decent guy and with style. I guess you did move up from me...... he seems alot more sure of himself and has the body you wanted. Well iam happy for you, thats probably why i cant cry over it badly like the previous times but my wound did reopen. well at least it motivated me to eat healthy and reach my training goals.

 

all in all you got it all, your degree, doing your masters and a job that pays well and the guy you wanted..... for me im still moving forward but taking my time.... i hope i pass my 2 last subjects and just do my work exp and finally graduate.... i just hoped that you wouldve been there when i did..... but i guess i really didnt want you there cause last we spoke of graduation, none of us wanted to attend each others...... well at least the girl i liked before you, and the reason that we got together, i think might be attending mine.......

 

well in all honesty i loved spending the good times with you and learnt so much from the bad times........

 

all the best and i hope you 2 make it together....

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U sound like a really nice person. Good luck in all you do!

 

im not really that nice.... i couldve done better at times of the relationship and still wanna apologise for the times i let her down and things i know i did wrong but she stopped me during the day of the break up.... but at the same time i know i did the best i could, the history of the relationship was just too much for me and her i guess.

 

thanks for your kind words, and i believe you will get over your ex and find the right person for you.

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im not really that nice.... i couldve done better at times of the relationship and still wanna apologise for the times i let her down and things i know i did wrong but she stopped me during the day of the break up.... but at the same time i know i did the best i could, the history of the relationship was just too much for me and her i guess.

 

thanks for your kind words, and i believe you will get over your ex and find the right person for you.

 

 

I admire the way you have been able to let go and be happy for her. I have not been able to do that - I am very resentful that he moved on three days after he left me and is happy when I am so unhappy!

U now have the oppertunity to learn from this and start a fresh (when you are ready). I am not ready and its been two months. Just takes longer for some people. My thoughts are with you because I know just how you feel! xox

 

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I'm in the shop, in the house, out and I just think of you. I feel so rejected. How can you ever do something with someone else? I now know that we can never sort it out. I'm so worried about what I feel. Mostly worried about the resentment and that I'm not a mature person. I've done so much work that I'm tired. I want to find home again. You've got your home, your job and you're simpler. Where does it take me? People thinking all these amazing things for me? What's the point of being unique? Of being a free spirit. I've always wished I was more ordinary, an ordinary and simple girl that anyone can satisfy. What if I'm just chasing an ideal? Does being true to yourself really have to come with this price....?

 

My heart aches, the sun pains me when it comes out, I'm so surprised you go on without our world. What is your substitute because I haven't found anything.

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What * * * * ing part of this is best for me? I sit here crying my heart out whilst you're * * * * ing about, being happy and getting on with your life after you ripped my heart out!!

I can't stand that you could move on so quickly. I hope it all ends in * * * * ing tears and life kicks you in the gut as hard as you did me!

 

And do you know what's sad? I'll probably still be pining for you and want to take you back!

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To Joey:

 

I have never felt hurt and pain like I feel from your cold abandonment and rejection, and betrayal. I feel violated and cruelly tricked into believing you were real after years of prior abuse you knew how vulnerable and ravaged my heart had been. I was just starting to feel better, fit, sexy and happy after a long time of healing. I was smiling again, when I met you.

 

After three years of being intimate companions, you broke up with me in a fit of rage.. then NC.. You didn’t even have the decency to face me in person to let me go with dignity or compassion…. to see the pain in my eyes.. and the tears stream down my face as.. you knew I would sob. Be confused.. devastated.. because I had cared so much and helped you financially get ahead for so long.. than when I was no longer needed .. simply outcast to you…. . You knew I would cry out for justice or express shock and bewilderment at how you could say you cherished me the week before then vanish from my life a week later.

 

I lost it.. over the days that followed… drunk calling, emailing , sobbing like I never have done before.. I tried to reach out to you and you recoiled and spit at me like a snake.. Who is this man I love and care for like family, unconditionally and steadfast?

 

You spewed blame and wretched contempt for things I had done. You knew I was there for you when no one else would be by your side in fierce love and adoration. I would be there no matter what obstacle or struggle you faced, I was right beside you all the way.

 

I gave actions, you gave words.. that was always a hurt for me..Yes, I needed “actions” to match your “words”.. that is how I can believe in love. You would not or could not think of me. To help me in times of need even when I asked for it which was rare.. You were too enmeshed in your own self to think of me in the same way to be giving and selfless. You abandoned me long before you ran away like a coward.. You betrayed me and used me as a financial crutch, and you played on my feelings for you like a thief.

 

You said you can’t fix me.. or give me what I need, but it is you that is broken and detached. Love is not self-serving but patient and kind....

 

I hope my “loving” memory haunts you til you die.

Suzy

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You are right about that.. at the time i refuted it.... you are wonderful to me... you touch me and evoke passion like no other..... now, look at us..... I will love myself again, and let you go one day. I know you have your own life, and can chose your path, and mate to be with... I do not deny that is your right.. What i am hurt and angry about the most is the lies, betrayal, and the way you wormed into my heart and really had me believe in love again, and that i could tell my deepest secrets and dreams to and be validated and understood.. and loved for who i was as a person... You must know how I loved that about you.. and your affection, and tenderness you showed me... and me for you.. You made me laugh with your adorable funny spirit and i felt so much love and warmth and protection in my heart for you... ... soul mates are a cruel trick by the Gods... it doesnt exist... if you can find someone to cherish and love you despite of your flaws, and be loyal, honest and kind.. that is what I believed in with you... I can honestly say my spirit is broken for the first time.. but you go on happy and rationalize it all.. in your ego.... and mind... your heart will remember me..

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*****,

 

Its been a week since i gave you up... you have said nothing to me not even when you found out i was done. i tried to talk to you and you wont answer and you wont write, or text or even just aknowledge what had happened or even say goodbye. i only imagine that its either that unhappy and destroyed you cant bear the thought of letting go.. or you just dont care. id like to think that its the first thing and this all meant something to you... but I know now why you are doing this and its the same reason i left. you are too stubborn and proud to admit that your hurt or even that you need anyone..even if you loved me deeply you would never break down your ego to fight for what you believe in...and its really sad..i told you that i will always love you and i did this cause theres too much going in your life with school you have no time for me anymore..and all it is doing is hurting me in the process. i hope one day you can forgive me for what i have done and understand why i did it.

I leave you with this... I loved you more than life itself and was willing to do anything for you.. to support your every move and be there whenever you needed me even if it meant taking off in any hour of the night to come be by your side...and all i asked for in return is that you appreciated that and showed me you needed that from me.. and not have this i dont need anybody attitude. and you know why your like that its because your emotionally unstable.. you are so out of control with your thoughts and you have no idea how to deal with your mind in a healthy way i suffered for it..and that is why the last people you dated left you as well.. I wish you all the best.. i have never thought ill will of you and i never will. i cherrish and am thankfull for the time and memories we created togethor. and they will always be apart of my soul. I never wanted this I was not ready to let you go at all.. i will never fully recover from the loss of you.. you were my soul mate..sadly just at the wrong time in life. and we cant change that..Ill never be bitter and I will never turn my back to you if you ever needed me. all i ask for you is to learn that it is ok to need someone else.. and its ok to ask for help.. Ill never forget you, Ill always miss you,

 

goodbye my sweetness

 

with love always

******

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I sometimes really want to contact you but it's pointless because it won't change anything. It looks like you've moved on and I'm kind of jealous of that. It seems like you're showing off. You could be such a jerk and that's become all the more vivid these past few weeks. You didn't deserve me. You took advantage of me! I kept giving and you kept taking. It wasn't 50/50. I carried the relationship. That was foolish of me. But I've learned a lot from this, so that's the positivity I can spin from it. I'm not going to thank you for it though. I just wish people really knew how cruel you can be. You treat your friends like gold, but treat your girlfriends (and your own mother!) like crap. Probably because you think they're always going to be there (at least til you're finished with them) and they won't go away if you're heartless. I'm beginning to think your exes weren't crazy like you said they were. If they were, you probably drove them off the edge! Your friends probably think you're a swell guy but I wish for 5 minutes they could have been in my shoes and saw the way you treated me. You always worried about everyone else's feelings and what they thought of you, and made a point of getting that accross to people: that you were "considerate". But not considerate of ME! The one you were supposed to LOVE! I will never understand. You're a wolf in sheep's clothing. I just wish people could see you for who you truly are.

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today i am so sad...

the thoughts are thick today.. filled up with the emptiness you left behind.

knowing you dont care.. only hurts more

i tell myself it will be fine

i know all it takes is wisdom and time.

last night your friends talked to me about the end

i didnt want to go over things... not again

they said it wasnt my fault.. you were just hard to handle..

they all understood why i had to blow out the candle..

they all said its a shame it never should of happened...

I hope it wasnt you that sent them to me...

to see if i was happy and moved on.. or in utter misery

i just want this done.. i want to forget..

you wasted my time and the love that i spent

and a part of me hates you for it

you selfish * * * * *

No girl has ever done what you done

or left in such a way it impacted me

I suffered because of your problems

your an * * * * * * * and in need of serious mental therapy

and your a damn counselor ffs...

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I am reading your story is disbelief! I can't believe how similar my relationship was to yours!! He always blamed his ex's for the problems, his friends were worshipped and I and his mother were treated like crap! I think the way he treats his mother will be the way he treats you one day!

The night he told me he didn't want to be with me was my friends birthday night out and I had to endure everyone coming up to me and telling me how wonderful he was a how they wish thier boyfriends were like him!

He worried about everyone else except me and I put up with it.

 

He took money off me to buy his friends daughter a bday present and got me nothing!

 

I know it may not feel like it just now but you will be fine. You don't need a man like that in your life. You will find someone who deserves you. Now I just need to convince myself too! Take care xox

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I just wish you could see what it is you're doing. I wish you would stop deceiving yourself cos I don't wanna see you get hurt. You've gone backwards. Drinking all the time. How long before you start drinking at home again? How long before you quit college cos it's taking up too much of your social time? How long before you push those away who truly care and worry about you?

No one believes what you say any more. And you wont listen to any one except your new 'friends'.

I don't know what's brought it on? I wanna help but you wont let any one close. You just wanna go out and have fun and everyone else has to suffer in silence including your daughter.

I hope that you realise this before it's too late.

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Friday's are hard! Friday night used to be our night and I miss them so much - I miss you so much. All I can imagine is you with your new gf when i'm alone! I try to go out and enjoy myself but im still struggling after two months! Why did you do this? Things weren't that bad were they? Why couldn't you have even tried to work this out? You just saw hard work and ran....you are a child and its about time you grow up and be a man.

I can't wait to move on and find someone new and you disappear. I don't even want you as a memory. :sad:

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Geneta:

 

I know that you have reached the point where you are ready to start dating other men. It kills me inside to know that after two and half years together, you won't even give me a chance. I have learned so much from our time apart and I am a better person because of it. Words cannot describe it, only actions can. But you won't allow me to act.

 

I know that part of you misses me and still loves me. I don't believe you are so cold-hearted to just up and leave and have no feelings towards me at all. I know people have gotten to you. I know that your pride won't allow you to comeback even if you wanted. You don't want to look like a fool to those people.

 

All I can say is I have looked like a fool for the past two months. The texts, the emails, the letters. I don't care that I look like a fool to others. I love you and that is all I care about is getting you back and being better to you from here on out. I know were I messed up all these years. And I am not going to let it happen again, if you ever come back.

 

Love,

 

John

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Instead of responding to your invitation to connect on a networking site, I am posting here.

 

I am not going to ask you if it was an accident that you sent the email invitation or if it was done on purpose to get a rise out of me or to make some lame attempt at reconnecting.

 

If it is the latter, you are going to have to better than that. Better than sending me an email invitation 2 months to the day that we had broken up.

 

Is it driving you crazy that it has been over two weeks since you have heard from me? Is it driving you crazy that ________ can't give you updates on my life since I have completely cut her off since she betrayed my trust?

 

Just to let you know, I have a date tonight with a little hottie that is younger and prettier than you. It won't make me not think of you this weekend, but it is a good start.

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I cannot believe we spent two and a half years together. We lived together the whole time. And since our argument you have not spoken to me. Two days after are argument I attempted to talk to you about, instead of talking to about what happened, you just put me down. A month later when I contacted you to tell you I won the case. You could not even say congratulations by text, or email. Then when you were upset because I called you during the day, you had Terri call me. Do you really hate me that much? Did I really hurt you that bad? If so how? Or are you just being cold-hearted and never really loved me? Or is it that you still love me and just letting your damn pride get in the way?

 

One day, you are going to realize how great we were together. When that day comes and you attempt to contact me to say "you're sorry" I am going to remember the way you complete shut me out for these two months. I may be able to forgive, I really don't know. But I won't forget that you could even say congrats on me win the case. No matter how upset you are at me, you could have just text 8 little letters.

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