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Greggie

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15 Good

About Greggie

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    Bronze Member
  • Birthday 05/13/1989
  1. @mhowe True. I guess at that point in time it felt innocuous enough to have some form of contact with him (we were still living on separate continents at this point) because I was just coming off a break up and was still in love with the guy I had just broken up with. But the instant he picked me up at the airport when I moved to his city, all the feelings pretty much came rushing back, as if they had never gone away in the first place. But I guess the key here is just to maintain the NC no matter what. I would say in the 1.5 year span since living in his city, the longest the NC has ever last
  2. Thank you DoF. Guess it's pretty unanimous across the board, now to find the discipline to actually enforce this..
  3. Thank you Mhowe and HollyJ. I guess I knew that this was the answer. The problem is .. the first time we went NC (when I did feel like I got over him eventually) it was because we broke up, and so naturally, we weren't going to be in contact (I absolutely don't believe in being friends with exes). I guess it's been more difficult for me to go NC this time when there's been no big cataclysmic event to trigger it, like a falling out/break up or something. But regardless, I supoose it's the only way, and that I have to just enforce it. I mean, it can't be healthy to be in love with an ex that you
  4. This a long and convoluted story but I will try to make it as concise as possible. I've known this person for 3 years, was in a completely unsatisfactory long-distance relationship with him back in 2013 (which saw its inexorable demise pretty quickly) and truly felt that after the break up, I eventually - with time doing what time is best at - really and truly got over him (despite having been incredibly, ridiculously, crazy in love with him, even at the time of the break up). Come 2014, I was in love with and dating someone else; he turned out to be an instructor for a well-known pick up comp
  5. Thank you so much Treesandbees !! Celebration will occur soon as I finish my Master's dissertation!
  6. This post is purely celebratory!!!! I have officially received acceptance into the Clinical Psychology PhD program at UCL, my dream school!!!!! Sooo excited!!!
  7. OP wanted advice on how to proceed (" I'm just bothered if he still looks at these photos of his naked ex-girlfriend. Any advice on what I should do would be so helpful.") but instead got bashed for snooping. Not giving any comment on the rightness or wrongness of snooping, but sometimes I think these threads would be better helped by actually trying to answer the question of the OP rather than judge their behaviour that gave existence to the question in the post. Especially because this is a hugely individual issues; based on experiences/principles different people are going to have different
  8. That's very assumptive. Just because you did that - if that's what you're implying - doesn't mean he is. I agree that her boss is likely playing games/not as invested as OP, but I don't understand why people jump to extreme conclusions on this forum (and always in the negative sense, no one ever writes "He's also thinking about you all the time and bragging to his parents") and feed their conclusions to the OP as facts. Honestly, your comment came accross as mean-spirited; I'd be a little more considerate of what you type out next time! To the OP: I think Chickadee said it best and I would
  9. Should also mention my friend's father eventually started a new family and stuck around, so quite a similar situation to yours. And which only further solidified her erroneous and detrimental deep-seeded belief that there was something wrong with/unlovable about *her* specifically (since her father was by all appearances a loving and attentive dad to her younger half-brother). Please please please. I read people saying you should not force him but .. I just don't even understand, especially now that he has experienced what it is like to actually FATHER a child (as in, do more than just donate
  10. One of my best friends was abandoned by her father when she was 4. To this day, she struggles severely with psychological issues, particularly self-esteem issues, and I really truly believe (as does she) that his abandonment is at the root of a lot of her problems. She has been in and out of therapy trying to mend the deep emotional scars that him abandoning her left her with, and has told me (pretty much exact words) that she had been suicidal in the past considering that "if my own father didn't even love me, then all I could conclude was that I was worthless, so why even be here?". Please p
  11. First off, just wanted to say that you seem like a genuinely good person, and actually quite mature for your age. To answer your four questions: 1) Yes, I think Beer has been somewhat disloyal. He can't control whether or not he has feelings for you, but the fact that he chooses to continue having you in his life/interacting with you when he knows he has feelings for you (and you for him) is somewhat shady/inappropriate given that he has a girlfriend. Howevers, perhaps he knows/feels that he will never cross that boundary (as in, get physical) and that is why he continues to interact with y
  12. Had a lazy sunday in which I slept till 4 pm, watched an Ingmar Bergman film, and did God knows what tilll now. Actually, I spent part of the AM hours randomly reading old journal entries, and it made me realize how far the 25 year old me has come as compared to the 20 year old me (who I deeply empathized with and just wanted to take into my arms and say, "There, there.." or "Toughen up, old girl" and who I thank God I no longer relate to on some levels, though in other ways of course I still do as my sense of me-ness has always been very constant/strong throughout my life). Maybe this is just
  13. I think he's cheap. Paying you back the 2 dollars only further supports that in my opinon, as this in my experience is a cheap person's mentality: "my money is MY money, and your money is YOUR money, whether it's 20 dollars or 2 dollars or 2 cents". If that is a dealbreaker for you, I'd re-consider the relationship. For me personally it wouldn't work. Only because my attitude towards money is completely different (as in, I like to share my money with friends, not get out a calculator during a dinner date, don't like to place a lot of focus and emphasis on money and saving it at all costs) and
  14. And I just received an e-mail (the third one imploring me to quit) from my father, telling me he'd loan me 4,000 dollars till I get a new job. With that amount of money, I'd have at least 2 months to find a new job and I could quit today and save my soul. It just seems like soo much money though to take from my parents But one part of me is saying to just do it, while the other part feels that being financially independent should be the most important value here.
  15. I'm currently doing my Master's and aiming to begin my PhD in the fall (both in Psychology). I have the qualifications to work as an Assistant Psychologist/Research Assistant but again, there is high competition for these jobs, and I can't work full-time as I'm still pursuing my education. Psychology is my passion, but the road to becoming a clinician/researcher is a long one. Which is fine by me, as I am not so outcome-dependent anyways, given that I love my discipline and truly enjoy learning and thrive in academia. But I need to be able to support myself financially whilst doing so. I th
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