Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[MrRedTech33]

This is what I wanted to send my ex this morn after having a dream about him last night: "I miss you so much... was thinking of you all day yesterday... I love you... my soul cries out for you... I am so angry and hurt that you didn't fight for me, that you took advantage of me, that you didn't want me enough, weren't into me. I hate you. I hope you hurt as much as I do right now, I hope you realize what you are missing out on. You missed your chance with me, forever... F&%* YOU"

 

THIS is exactly how I feel right now, and this morning especially. THank you all for sharing your hurts. It's their loss!!! Love will find us again :)

[Seymore]

I feel like I've made quite a bit of progress the last couple of weeks. You're not even in my fantasies anymore for the most part. You're still always in the back of my mind but you won't be there soon, I hope.

[Bumblebee093]

I really really dislike you at the moment but I can't get you out my head and my heart won't stop loving you! I still can't move forward yet over the fact you got with someone a week after we split, how you can tell me to 'get over it already' when we was together for 10 years and only been apart for a month... I despise the fact that you're not suffering, that you look happy with her.

 

I hope I can go to the places that you've tainted with memories and not think and cry over you. I hope I can think of my special place and not be bombarded with memories and feelings of when we used to go...

 

I hate the fact that I still love you so much and yet I get so angry at it!

[Seymore]

I had the weirdest two dreams this weekend. I dreamt that I was going to see you in prison Saturday night to tell you that I used to love you and was letting you go. Last night I dreamt of a new girl who I never met who kissed me. It was like I knew her soul from dreams long ago but I didn't know who she was.

 

I'm a little scared that I'm leaving you behind in my dreams because I'm used to you being in them. It's been over two years since I left you. But now I think I'll be ok.

 

I remember when I thought I saw your car on the way to work and would be a mess all day. I thought I saw it today and was like "eh". It's like that part in Swingers where Mikey has been with the pain so long he misses it.

 

I still don't consider myself healed but I do know I'm making progress and that's all I need.

[Kev0s1983]

One month today you ended us. Three and a half week NC. You are on my mind a lot. Acceptance of that and the reality of this is what I need but it is out of reach just now. That is ok, I am ok with that. It is early.

 

I see you still, we dont wave, dont do anything. So strange. Really odd. I wont reach out to you. I wont give you the satisfaction knowing Im here waiting. More than that, I love you enough to let you go.

 

22 days, 22 runs. Started crossfit, eating healthier than ever, waistline diminished and mentally strong. Confidence returning. Attracted to a girl but feels like cheating contemplating anything. Plus, sure, shes cute, but she isnt you.

[Silverbirch]

Selfish Basket

[Kev0s1983]

Been over a month since you broke us off. I didnt want you to then, I dont want to accept it now.

 

Didnt like that you just looked at the ground as though I wasnt even there. My friend said you looked hurt but she doesnt know you like I do. Maybe you were hurt. Maybe you are hurt. But you only had to look at me? What was that all about?

 

My alcohol counsellor actually suggested I send you flowers with a note "For all the times I hurt you" or some . I think its a bloody awful idea. I wont talk to you for perhaps two/three months and her idea is to remind you of me by brining up memories of where I dropped the ball ? She might know her with booze but shes way off the mark with that suggestion.

 

But then I spoke to Anne and she said with a bit more time, I should be reaching out. She thinks that perhaps you are uncertain of my feelings. I made them pretty bloody clear when you ended us I didnt want that. Not even a bit.

 

If I come back after stating clearly I would leave you alone, I have gone against the final thing I said to you. There is a distinct lack of respect for you if I go back on that right?

 

You dumped me.

 

You have to be the one to come back for me. Right? Isnt that how this works? I came back for you once.

 

Im learning to surf starting sunday. I cannot actually wait to learn another new skill. Not that crossfit or running every day is new skills per se. Maybe it will help keep me occupied and I can keep busy and keep improving.

 

I want to tell you so much I havent drunk in over a month. But then it will come across as a motive to convince you to get back with me.

 

Im so proud of who you are and have become. You have inspired me for a long time and continue to do so.

 

Stay special x

[11moreweeks]

This breakup might actually get me killed, and on top of that, you have chosen to mischaracterize me, misremember me, and seem to have no idea who I really am. The only thing that stopped it from working out between us after such a long struggle was that you actively wanted it not to and started working against it.

 

I don't know what to tell you. I don't want you to be unhappy with yourself if something happens, and I don't want something to happen.

[postponednups]

I miss you and can’t stop thinking about every moment together and how to fix things

[IAmFCA]

You're not my ex - you've never been mine. I will not chat with you although you for some reason expect to chat with me...

 

I appreciated your message. Some acknowledgement was called for. Sometimes, you seem aware of what it means to look after my softness and let it know it is safe.

 

And yet... we remain engaged in a control deadlock of epic proportions. I demand intimacy before sex. You demand sex before intimacy. Of course we don't demand. We give minimal amounts. You want to judge my suitability based on my sex? Really? Get a hooker. You ask women to open themselves up to you when you are only a smidge vulnerable emotionally. It is an imbalance you claim to not understand.

 

Well. I match my vulnerability to yours, Sir, and therefore, we have been on a treadmill for longer than some marriages. My requirements are nothing, a pittance. And a universe. Give, or go.

 

BTW you love me. It is so obvi. Love isn't everything. You might find someone more suitable. That will cause a conflict for you. Deal with it.

[Dicard]

I just want to know why you did this again, why you got back with me so you break up again? What do I mean to you? Once again you told me you wanted to be with me , you were sorry for the first time you break up, that you didnt know what happened in your mind to do that, like was someone else inside you. But you did it again, the same reasons. You told me the exact same words, with the same face looking away from me.

Look deep inside of you, what're you doing with your life and what you did now. In the future I hope you get it together, and I'll move forward. I want you to understand you can't take me for granted again and use me.

[RitaTrue]

After 8-9 weeks of No Contact, you text me saying "hey Bubbles, download this app so I can send you a video message.".

 

I haven't answered.

 

On one hand I'm excited to hear from you. Still, I feel like this might be a fishing attempt: you might've had a girl on the back burner just before we broke up cause you ARE a serial dater. It didn't work out, and now you're back.

 

Not sure what to do.

[11moreweeks]

The reason I don't want to talk to you has to do with you, not me. I don't need space to cope with the loss or etc. In the end, you broke up with me to date someone who wasn't at risk of being murdered each day and thus stressed by it, and by breaking up with me, you actually drastically worsened my situation and increased my chance of being murdered. It's frustrating because it seems you don't know anything about who I even actually am -- you chose to mischaracterize me and misremember me to justify the breakup and chase fleeting crushes that have a 95% chance of failing after the ~1 year honeymoon phase of oxytocin highs. And yes, you still loved me -- the mature, familial love that made you say that you think of me like family. That's literally the end goal of long-term relationships, finding someone with whom you can happily share that kind of connection because the oxytocin high "in love" feelings are something else entirely -- something that requires work in the relationship, and something that comes and goes depending on outside variables (recently married? Bought a new house? Having money problems? Need a second honeymoon?) You'd remember when I'd stopped "loving you" a few years back and couldn't say that I'd loved you, but I tried to figure out why rather than chasing the other girls who'd show interest in me, and what happened was that the oxytocin rush came back to me after I decided my home was the issue and I had a future to look forward to with you. Your future relationships will develop the exact same problem if you choose to not work towards sustaining them or making them move forward as well for so long, or choose against having self-control in the way you interact with others or let them interact with you. And maybe the problems run deeper, in which case it's an even worse communication from your end than I'd imagined and your future relationships will be even harder than I'm expecting. One day you'll have to learn these lessons, I just hope that you don't break any more hearts in the process, and I hope even more that you don't almost kill someone again.

[Nina95]

My chest aches, my body is tense, my legs feel heavy. I think you never truly cared, you might feel affection or even love but not enough. I cant go back and yet the thought of it terrifies me. I miss you so much. Then I also remember how damaged I feel, how betrayed, I feel like our whole relationship has been a lie on your end and that crushes me. I feel you were never truly, fully in, like I was, despite my own setbacks. You wanted me to be someone and something I am not. It was my fault. I should have seen it and let it end a lot sooner than this. Less attachment, less heartbreak, less time wasted. You were my first love and heartbreak. I really would have lived and died by your side if only. I hope this pain goes away. I miss you and I hate myself for that. I have to get through this and not contact you again. I must. I wish I could erase everything from my mind, all memories, mostly your number.

[Ollie636]

So much has happened to me since the last day we were together. The number of times I have wanted to tell you how I have been feeling. It has been hard for me not reach out and contact you. I have felt every emotion I have ever experienced in my life since we split up. Initially I was very sad and upset about our breakup, but now I feel disappointed and angry that you did not see how sad and low I had become when we were together. None of this was my fault, and it wasn't yours either. I loved you, and for whatever reason, used you as the source of my happiness instead of finding happiness in myself which inevitably made me unhappy. I honestly feel as though you didn't really love me the way you said you did. If you really loved me, then you would have accepted all my flaws instead of constantly picking up on them when we were together, and trying to change and mould me into the man you really wanted. You never accepted me for who I was, and that hurt me. I loved you with all my heart, and gave you every part of me. All my energy, all my emotions. I know I shouldn't have now, I know it was the wrong thing to do. I should have walked away long ago. I see now that my attachment to you was unhealthy, bad for me. It made me forget who I really was, forget my friends and family are just as important to me. I forgive you for your hatred towards my son. I know now it was your jealousy that caused it. Your want of me all to yourself. You told me you were jealous when I first met you, and I accepted that. I forgive you for all the horrible things you said and did to me, even though I sometimes think you didn't even realise they hurt me. I was trapped when things turned sour between us. I was living in your house, with no way of just leaving. I fought with everything I had to keep you happy, I sacrificed my happiness, my interests all for nothing. And you wonder why I said the things I did the day I left. I'm sorry, but I couldn't take it anymore. I take away many valuable lessons from our years together. I know what I want and need in a relationship with someone now. I will never again make the mistakes I made with you. I have boundaries and will be sure to set them with my future love. I did truly love you once, and will never forget you. I wish you all the happiness in the world for your future and a part of me will always love you.

[android123]

I hope one day you realize how one-sided our relationship had become. How unfair it was to me. How everything always had to go your way, yet you couldn't recognize why I'd be frustrated and upset with you at times. And how hypocritical of you to say that communication problems were to blame, when you were the one who'd decide to walk away and ignore my attempts at cooperation.

 

You truly are selfish. The red flags were there, but I was too young and inexperienced to notice them. I shouldn't have been with you, but we did get along well. We shared endearing moments. We shared years together. I can't deny that there was a connection there.

 

You must still feel that there is still a connection if you found it so hard to leave me alone even after breaking up with me. You texted me, you missed me, you kissed me, you held my hands, you held me close, you tried to stay in my life... all this, yet you wanted out.

 

I am so confused. I know it's over, but why do I feel you lingering when you're no longer within reach? We went through so much. Our relationship was complicated from the start, due to things that were out of our control, yet we powered through for such a long time. But you never did anything to change the circumstances that were hurting us. I tried to, but there was only so much you'd allow me to try. So I suffered. Had the obstacles changed, things would've been different, we would've been better. Now that's an impossibility.

 

I am not happy that I have accepted that I don't want you in my life anymore, but I had to. I had to because I loved you, more than you loved me. I have no choice. I don't like that I have decided to no longer keep in touch with you, I know you still want me to give in to you, I know you want to make it seem like everything can still be ok, but it can't. Not anymore.

 

You said things to me that turned out not to be true. You said things to me that still might be true, but it's still over. Your late attempts at contact with me I know are laced with guilt, but that's not good enough. It'll never be good enough until you apologize for your immaturity. I did not waste all that time with you for nothing. I loved you, I waited for you, I trusted your promises, I believed you when you told me it'd all be worth it in the end. In your fantasy world, it still might be, and I hope that it really is, because I deserve a loyal love, the type of love you couldn't give me.

[Kev0s1983]

I take full and complete responsibility for where we find ourselves today - that is not having anything to do with eachother. The entire relationship you gave 100% you tried so so hard and pushed through, stood up for me when perhaps you would have been best to leave sooner. You would have fought for me more times than I know, you wanted so much for me to see the light before it was too late but I just couldnt do that. I cannot blame 'drunk me' for ruining 'sober me', that doesnt cut it.

 

If sober me was a better man he would not have allowed drunk me to even exist. I couldnt see what has become so clear. I thought I understood when I spoke to you a month ago. I truly thought I got it. But it hasnt been until the reality of where we now are has sunk in that I get it. I have broken you time and time again because I wasnt man enough to admit to my problems and issues. I wasnt man enough to become the man you deserved, the sober man you fell in love with.

 

I take total responsibility for the failed relationship. We were rock solid or we would have been forever had I just seen the damage I was doing. I would delude and avoid the truth because I was a dependent, selfish coward.

 

I know that these words cant take back or make amends, they can only attempt to convey that I get it.

 

Im disgusted with myself.

 

I miss you constantly but love you enough to know if I can do anything right by you, it is to leave you alone. X

[Bumblebee093]

Just leave me alone.

[Seymore]

It had to happen. I dreamt of you last night. Your youngest son was celebrating his birthday (weridly enough it's your oldests' birthday tomorrow) and there were pics of all of us on the walls.

 

I apologized to him for being out of all of your lives. But wished him a happy birthday. And then you showed up, way on the other side of the room (it was a cave but whatever). That's when I woke up.

 

I still think of you daily but making progress.

 

Last night I reached out to a girl on match for the first time. She almost looked like you when you were younger and had many traits I love. She hasn't replied and probably won't.

 

Either way, Happy Birthday to your boys tomorrow. They're good kids and I know just how you're going to celebrate. Wish I was there to help decorate.

[RitaTrue]

You're sorry for how we ended.

 

But you want to lead me on, knowing my feelings for you because it gives you an ego boost.

 

I'm glad I avoided your text. I reblocked you. Got to focus on myself.

[Cqc]

I miss you. I miss everything we had together. I wish you would contact me. Not talking to you after 7.5 years is so heartbreaking. Why do you seem okay? Do you even miss me at all. I wish we could just figure this out and not throw it away. I love you and I feel so lost without you. I can’t eat I hardly sleep and when I do I dream of you. I wake up and it’s like I lost you all over again. I miss sleeping next to you and I miss your laughter and I miss you’re hugs and kisses. I miss your family and I miss our house. I hate that our good memories are now haunting me. I honestly hope you’re miserable too. It wasn’t suppose to end like this. I hope this isn’t the end. I want us to figure out stuff out and come back stronger than ever. All I want is to be with you. I can’t picture myself with anyone else. You get me and I get you. How are you so okay with this. I’m dying inside. It’s been a week since our breakup and over a month since we’ve hung out. You were my best friend. I’ve lost my boyfriend and my best friend. Can’t you see I’m hurting? Don’t you care about me. I’m trying to be strong. I’m not going to let you see me broken. I just miss you,all of you. I hope it’s not the end.

[Charliehorse]

Another dream last night, I dreamt we were still friends and I happened to be

at your place and your daughter was there too, you were seeing someone.

He came in while I was there, I saw how you fawned over his happiness and

your daughter did too, by your words and actions I saw how special you felt

he was to you, it saddened me to my deepest depth.

I just wanted to slip out of there unnoticed so I could cry in solitude,

I woke up weeping.

[Kev0s1983]

Watched an awesome show last night in the city. Perth orchestra with George Michael covers and was cool as. At the end there was a firework display that was off the chart. Couldnt stop thinking how much you would have loved it. Spoke to Damo on drive back and decided I would write you a letter. I would knock on your door and explain what it was but that I wanted to read it to you. Spoke at length and Damo was convinced it was a good idea also. But then, the emotions that would be there when I would read it to you... Thats if you even let me.

 

Slept on it and after my run this morning decided it was a bad idea. Met Damo for green tea and when I explained why, he agreed. Just a ty situation.

 

During my surf lesson this morning a random tapped me on the shoulder, it was Jamie! My sponsor from last year. He convinced me I needed to go to a meeting and I went. I had forgotten step 8 about making amends to those we had done harm to. You were always proud when I went last year. I couldnt understand why, I always felt you would be ashamed.

 

I will keep going.

 

Have this image in my head, this scenario where I knock on your door, you open it and are surprised its me. I hand you a bag with some clothes you left for new years in adelaide, Im going there for easter as obviously, not seeing your mum in the Goldy. I hand it to you but dont let go, pull you close and just give you a hug. kiss the top of your head and whisper "Im sorry".

 

Then leave. haha movie drivel I know but right now it makes sense. I will sleep on it and probably bin the idea hey

 

I hope you are happy and have your trip planned out.

 

Oh, and I broke my toe surfing today too ;) pretty smooth. x

[11moreweeks]

I don't want to give up on us, and I don't want to give up on you.

 

I sometimes feel like I am making a mistake by not chasing you and not trying to win your adoration once again. Our relationship was always characterized by me working very hard for you.

 

But it seems like you stopped appreciating that, and I always felt stressed that you didn't work hard for me/us in return, so I am afraid of what I would get myself into. If I put in all the effort to get a chance with you again only for you to not put in work.. would I feel satisfied? Would I think it was worth it? Would I be happy? Would I break your heart in the end? Is all that hard work even worth all the risk involved?

 

I love you dearly. You are so special to me. I want to chase you around, but I am afraid that you will hurt me again, and I am afraid that you have not and will not change or improve.

[OllieB123]

You know it's weird, time has flown since we broke up.

I still think about you most days but in doing so, I also remember what I'm learning and trying to achieve.

I'm growing and evolving now. and i hope you do the same. But never change who you are, because you are and always will be someone so special.

The occasional contact we have in regards to health updates etc mean more to me than you can imagine. I get that sense of care from you. which means a hell of a lot because of what I helped you through and what I helped you achieve during 2017. And thats what matters to me most. The fact you do appreciate what we had and what we helped each other through.

It is sad that our story isn't able to continue and I'll always support you from afar to find out what you truly want in life.

Til then, always remember that self respect is worth so much more than social acceptance. And keep your standards high as always.

 

And as my gran said, 'If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's meant to be'

 

You'll always have a piece of my heart whether I like it or not.

 

Miss and Love you always.

 

O x