Ollie636

So much has happened to me since the last day we were together. The number of times I have wanted to tell you how I have been feeling. It has been hard for me not reach out and contact you. I have felt every emotion I have ever experienced in my life since we split up. Initially I was very sad and upset about our breakup, but now I feel disappointed and angry that you did not see how sad and low I had become when we were together. None of this was my fault, and it wasn't yours either. I loved you, and for whatever reason, used you as the source of my happiness instead of finding happiness in myself which inevitably made me unhappy. I honestly feel as though you didn't really love me the way you said you did. If you really loved me, then you would have accepted all my flaws instead of constantly picking up on them when we were together, and trying to change and mould me into the man you really wanted. You never accepted me for who I was, and that hurt me. I loved you with all my heart, and gave you every part of me. All my energy, all my emotions. I know I shouldn't have now, I know it was the wrong thing to do. I should have walked away long ago. I see now that my attachment to you was unhealthy, bad for me. It made me forget who I really was, forget my friends and family are just as important to me. I forgive you for your hatred towards my son. I know now it was your jealousy that caused it. Your want of me all to yourself. You told me you were jealous when I first met you, and I accepted that. I forgive you for all the horrible things you said and did to me, even though I sometimes think you didn't even realise they hurt me. I was trapped when things turned sour between us. I was living in your house, with no way of just leaving. I fought with everything I had to keep you happy, I sacrificed my happiness, my interests all for nothing. And you wonder why I said the things I did the day I left. I'm sorry, but I couldn't take it anymore. I take away many valuable lessons from our years together. I know what I want and need in a relationship with someone now. I will never again make the mistakes I made with you. I have boundaries and will be sure to set them with my future love. I did truly love you once, and will never forget you. I wish you all the happiness in the world for your future and a part of me will always love you.

I just had to post this. Has so much meaning for me and I wish you could read it. New Order Blue Monday How does it feel to treat me like you do? When you've laid your hands upon me and told me who you are I thought I was mistaken, I thought I heard your words Tell me how do I feel Tell me now, how do I feel Those who came before me lived through their vocations From the past until completion, they'll turn away no more And still I find it so hard to say what I need to say But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me just how I should feel today I see a ship in the harbor I can and shall obey But if it wasn't for your misfortune, I'd be a heavenly person today And I thought I was mistaken, and I thought I heard you speak Tell me, how do I feel Tell me now, how should I feel Now I stand here waiting I thought I told you to leave me when I walked down to the beach Tell me how does it feel, when your heart grows cold, grows cold, cold

I told you many times that I was feeling low and depressed, and you just didn't listen to me. I told you I was suffering from stress at work and the long journeys I was making daily. How could you not see what was happening to me? How I went from being happy and confident in our first year together, to unhappy and tired all the time. I could say so many things to you right now, I'm so angry. It was all about you, and your happiness at the end of the day. If you really loved me, you would have listened to me and supported me through my bad time and understand what I was going through. I'm free of that now, and free from you. You disappointed me, I never thought you would be like you were. You let me down. I committed myself to you and you wiped your feet with me. All those good times we had, all those things we said. Water under the bridge