Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Coldandsleepy]

Hey love,

 

I miss calling you love, the other day I wanted to add 'handsome' to all of my good night messages (I was texting three different friends last night). I sat in the park and looked at the stars and they were so pretty. I've been looking at the stars more and more lately. I hope you do too because they truly are beautiful. I have dreams about you sometimes, little dreams like walking to the shops together or last night we were watching tv together and you were getting frustrated at the main character. I know that's usually me in reality so it was kind of funny. I saw you yesterday, I doubt you saw me but I was working in the back of the kitchen at college. I came out to do something though I don't recall what and I saw you. It made me really happy at first. But then I had to tell myself off because I can't get happy every time I see you anymore. You changed your profile picture today, it looks nice and I was waiting for the day you replaced the picture of us. It still hurt but I'm glad you kept it for so long, it helped me be prepared for this moment. I'm sorry I messed everything up, I've been reading a lot of self help blogs and I realise when we started the relationship I was confident and deliriously happy. But I did too much research online that said you should make sure not to come on too strong. Not to think about the future yet. So to curb my excitement I kept reminding myself of the bad things. Every time I would have a random thought of maybe being with you for the rest of my life I would shut it down and remind myself you liked two other girls when we first got together and you only chose me because they didn't like you. That was silly I know but it meant that time we saw the cute baby in the park and you looked at me horrified I was genuine when I said I wasn't thinking about that for us. Though it did sting how horrified you were. It also stung when I found out you actually had thought long term. Had thought that you would possibly marry me one day. I would have loved to be able to think about that with you. I know that I became insecure and so I wasn't much fun to be around sometimes. I was getting upset easily and I didn't organise for us to do anything exciting or fun. I want to change that but I still don't know how. I was to genuinely be able to say I have changed and so we should start fresh but I know that for one you don't want me back and for two as hard as I'm trying I haven't fully changed. I've tried to stop biting my lip for example, I know you hated It, but when I'm nervous I do it anyway. And then I tell myself off and try to stop again. I'm trying to be more adventurous though. I went to Macias with Amy after harbour cruise and I started a game of cards against humanity in top D. I started a conversation with a stranger on the train and we ended up talking all the way to central. I've started working on saying Thank you instead of sorry and I've been working on getting back into the habit of cooking. I really wanna make beef stroganoff for you. I've been going to the gym and found a class I really Like, I've even started jogging! Imagine That, me jogging around the park! I'm going to keep working hard but if you could find it in your heart to still love me I would really like to at least be friends but possibly work our way back to being more. That day you told me I was your best friend was something truly unexpected. I knew people said you should make your significant other your best friend but to find out you actually thought of me that way was really wonderful. Lucy keeps trying to get me to go to Zumba on Tuesday night's with her. I know your mum goes on Tuesday night's though and I don't want to be a stalker. (I know cos Mal told me while I was working). I guess what I really want to tell you is I love you and if maybe you still love me too we could make something work?

 

Love,

 

Your Beautiful

[11moreweeks]

It's 3:30 AM, I'm being denied the right to sleep, and I'm scared for my life. Why did you choose to make my home life worse..?

 

Why did you choose to do all of this..? Why did you give up and throw it all away now, when it was just months away from finally being over..?

 

Apart from not being in constant agony, what did this new guy offer you that convinced you after only a month of knowing him that you should put my life in danger to chase after him..? I never did anything wrong.. all I ever did was get hurt.. So why did you choose this..

 

The consequences of this are that we'll both probably be less happy for the next 5+ years than we would have been, my chance of dying before graduation went up drastically, and we will both spend our lives never knowing what could have happened in just a few months with such massive, nearly-guaranteed and life-uprooting positive changes.

 

Back in April 2015, that month I was coughing up blood, I was also experiencing the heart problems / chest pain already, and I was so sleep deprived and stressed that I was fainting regularly when walking around the house, getting hurt as I'd fall down. I was coughing blood into the sink while clutching my chest, while simultaneously listening to my mother's violent insanity, and being afraid I'd faint again. I was telling myself that I would work as hard as I could to make sure that you would never have to experience anything like what I was experiencing, because I knew how much health issues can scare you.. You were worth all the pain and suffering the world offers.

 

You will most likely never find someone who will love you and care for you as much as I did, because of all you seemed to be supporting me through.. and I don't think I will ever be able to trust, love, or care for somebody else again as much as I did for you.

 

And yet, after the breakup, you wanted to spend almost all your free time with me and seemed to enjoy my company so much, you kept seeking me out.. Why..? If you stopped loving me, then why was I so important to you..? If I made you so happy, then why did you choose to date someone else rather than give me another chance with all the massive changes I brought to the surface? Do you even know your own feelings? Do you know the difference between mature love and the infatuation / oxytocin rush associated with a crush or honeymoon phase relationship? Do you even realize that the rush can come and go depending on other variables, and depending on your own chosen outlooks? You could have done everything so much differently that nothing like this would have happened..

 

This is the dumbest breakup ever. With every day that passes, you become more independent, and my grudge I've been developing for you grows stronger.

 

You shattered the bond and connection we shared. I just want the shards out of my feet so I can walk away from this miserable position.

[wgmitch]

The break up in July was hard, but I took it and did not contact you once.

 

After 4 months of no contact YOU decide to reel me in with sentimental words, intimacy and a promise of a new start just you and I. In two short days you change your mind. You said "I just thought I needed someone stronger."

 

The words that nearly broke me. Well, they didn't break me they made me even stronger. My resolve to Never Contact you, has never been stronger. I do have anxiety, but it has never, ever stopped me from doing anything, with you or without you.

 

So let me tell you how strong I am.

 

I am raising a 14 year old young man, all by myself and have been doing this his whole life. (I think I could stop there.) But...

 

I have already raised a wonderful 31 year old daughter with 2 children of her own and she holds 2 degrees.

 

I have 3 degrees of my own. I own two houses and manage everything about the rental property, by myself, for the last 17 years. I have an awesome job that I never work hard at, but I work smart and make great money.

 

I taught myself how to play the drums at 14 and have been in many bands for the last 38 years. I sing and have auditioned for America's Got Talent and The Voice (I did not make either, but I had the balls to do it!)

 

I'm not and have never been addicted to anything. I only drink to have fun and not drown out any part of my life.

 

I work out 6 days a week and at 53 I'm in the best shape of my life.

 

I'm not just strong I am the strongest.

 

Me

[SweetGirl28]

The break up in July was hard, but I took it and did not contact you once.

 

After 4 months of no contact YOU decide to reel me in with sentimental words, intimacy and a promise of a new start just you and I. In two short days you change your mind. You said "I just thought I needed someone stronger."

 

The words that nearly broke me. Well, they didn't break me they made me even stronger. My resolve to Never Contact you, has never been stronger. I do have anxiety, but it has never, ever stopped me from doing anything, with you or without you.

 

So let me tell you how strong I am.

 

I am raising a 14 year old young man, all by myself and have been doing this his whole life. (I think I could stop there.) But...

 

I have already raised a wonderful 31 year old daughter with 2 children of her own and she holds 2 degrees.

 

I have 3 degrees of my own. I own two houses and manage everything about the rental property, by myself, for the last 17 years. I have an awesome job that I never work hard at, but I work smart and make great money.

 

I taught myself how to play the drums at 14 and have been in many bands for the last 38 years. I sing and have auditioned for America's Got Talent and The Voice (I did not make either, but I had the balls to do it!)

 

I'm not and have never been addicted to anything. I only drink to have fun and not drown out any part of my life.

 

I work out 6 days a week and at 53 I'm in the best shape of my life.

 

I'm not just strong I am the strongest.

 

Me

 

Pssttttt..... Wanna date? Lol

Omg Mitch you're the age of my ex! Anyway, I like what you wrote here. I'm raising a 14 year old girl alone.

I admire your strength, and not letting her words break you. The old saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

is so true. Keep on doing you, you'll be okay.

[wgmitch]

Pssttttt..... Wanna date? Lol

Omg Mitch you're the age of my ex! Anyway, I like what you wrote here. I'm raising a 14 year old girl alone.

I admire your strength, and not letting her words break you. The old saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

is so true. Keep on doing you, you'll be okay.

 

"Wanna date?"

 

Yes!

 

Raising teenagers is a job in itself. I commend you.

 

I realize now how ignorant, self center and stupid she is. Who would say something like that to someone else unless you have issues of your own.

 

I could write my list of ugly things about her here, but I will refrain.

 

Thank you SweetGirl! :)

 

Mitch

[11moreweeks]

I miss you so much.. I wish we had just communicated better and worked a little harder to maintain the spark, maintain both of our happiness, and keep moving forward.

 

I know I was ready to fight for lifelong happiness, love, and acceptance.. I wish you were as well..

 

I wish I could sing for you one last time..

[Lambert]

"Wanna date?"

 

Yes!

 

Raising teenagers is a job in itself. I commend you.

 

I realize now how ignorant, self center and stupid she is. Who would say something like that to someone else unless you have issues of your own.

 

I could write my list of ugly things about her here, but I will refrain.

 

Thank you SweetGirl! :)

 

Mitch

u2! i like it

[Lambert]

Its so funny . it's 6 wks. soon it well be 6 mos. i just feel like an @ hole. how could it be that we don't talk. ever.

 

it is like a light switch. i didn't and still don't see how this happened. its like this craxy person i don't know took over you. and everything will just be better if you didn't talk to me. But weren't we the best part of the day. i can still feel your hand in my hand.

 

if all u said is true and everything that happened... that is.... a shame? i don't even know what it is. i know... its a waste. and a disappointment....

 

if it isn't then... i just can't believe it. dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. My very own made for home version. ugh....

 

I'm proud of myself, too. i had many reasons to reach out and i still haven't. I won't.... i am moving on. its hard... i wish more time would pass and i would feel better.

[SweetGirl28]

u2! i like it

 

 

You silly girl!

Hey I hope you feel better soon, I see your post here. In time it gets easier.

You'll bounce back, and who knows, you might have contact again. Too early to tell.

[Lambert]

You silly girl!

Hey I hope you feel better soon, I see your post here. In time it gets easier.

You'll bounce back, and who knows, you might have contact again. Too early to tell.

thanks sweetgirl... i am really trying....it will get better. i just feel like dag.... dude doesn't miss me.

 

what did i miss? i thought we were so good. not unrealistic love bombing crap.

 

o well....

 

good news is, we are nc and I'm doing things for myself to move forward. i ride out the sad feelings and tell myself "it'll getter better. my life is about me, blah blah blah[emoji23]"

[Seymore]

Found out recently that you're getting sued by yet another company. I feel terrible for your kids but you're reaping what you've sown and I warned you this would happen. But you always knew better. Everyone is an idiot to you, aren't they?

[Kev0s1983]

As can be seen from the date at the top of this page, it has been some time since we parted ways. Originally I was of the mind that you were crazy or hadnt thought it through enough. Upon having some time since then, it has become clearer to me that those two descriptors are more apt for me.

 

You would have been going through and experiencing conflict within your mind a lot, ever since last year I am sure. Just when we were together and I was not drinking, it was pretty damned good.

 

It was never even a possibility to me that we would part ways. Due to the alcohol I was not living in reality, rather a world of blur & delusion. Whilst it was easy for me to cast view/opinion and judge another, I was unable to see my own errors - numerous, large and frequent.

 

As someone who has a problem with alcohol, living in a world seperate to one which is real became common. Hence the disbelief when you called & told me enough was enough - I was AMAZED. I believe I said something like “you got used to the real quick, or sooner & easier than me” - but of course! Ofcourse you would have. Every time alcohol created an issue, I eroded another part of us, your hope, faith & trust in me. I was again oblivious. Totally blinded. You would been going through a terrible time and I was totally unaware - too caught up in drinking.

 

I would say “drunk me has ed it again!” when I was sober, as if to dispel my responsibility - the fact is, if ‘sober kev’ faced reality & fact, “drunk kev” would never have had chance to be borne out again. That was something I was unable to do. I couldn’t even fathom that until a few days after we last spoke.

 

You would have fought for me many many MANY more times than I will ever know. To friends, family… Anyone. Backed me up, stuck up for me & decree that I was changed. I let you down countless times & in the process removed a little more hope & faith.

 

There was a moment when you gave me an ultimatum & I can see this as a large turning point. You tried so hard to help me, support me but I could not see the reality or imminence of anything.

 

When posted in Sydney I lost my sense of purpose, my bearings, my dreams, focus and aspirations. I became more and more unhappy being away from you and drunk more and more in turn making me more and more unhappy.

 

You became my therapist - not my partner.

 

I have managed to accept & reconcile that I became a terrible partner to you, behaved unimaginably badly which would have brought you to tears more than I know. We shared special times, memories I will treasure but equally, I really hurt you.

 

The purpose of this small letter is to acknowledge how badly I ed up and own my actions/inactions. I can never undo what has gone before and take away the hurt/damage I have caused you. I would give anything to be able to. Anything.

 

I am so sorry.

[wgmitch]

Its so funny . it's 6 wks. soon it well be 6 mos. i just feel like an @ hole. how could it be that we don't talk. ever.

 

it is like a light switch. i didn't and still don't see how this happened. its like this craxy person i don't know took over you. and everything will just be better if you didn't talk to me. But weren't we the best part of the day. i can still feel your hand in my hand.

 

if all u said is true and everything that happened... that is.... a shame? i don't even know what it is. i know... its a waste. and a disappointment....

 

if it isn't then... i just can't believe it. dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. My very own made for home version. ugh....

 

I'm proud of myself, too. i had many reasons to reach out and i still haven't. I won't.... i am moving on. its hard... i wish more time would pass and i would feel better.

 

 

Oh my goodness, these are my thoughts exactly. Well said, or unsaid.

 

I hope you are doing well.

 

Mitch

[Lambert]

Oh my goodness, these are my thoughts exactly. Well said, or unsaid.

 

I hope you are doing well.

 

Mitch

thank u. u2... i was watching the clouds earlier and just wished more than anything we had plans for tonight like we used to. ugh.....

[wgmitch]

thank u. u2... i was watching the clouds earlier and just wished more than anything we had plans for tonight like we used to. ugh.....

 

:(

 

Sad

 

Mitch

[Lambert]

:(

 

Sad

 

Mitch

ikr! so pathetic... looking forward to better days

[Dominique]

I just want to be watching the nfl combine with you right now. I love you. I just love you. I pray you are having a happy wonderful night.

[11moreweeks]

I'll be taking a practice version of the GRE test this morning. I was blessed with a full 3.5 hours of sleep with being forcefully woken up every 30 minutes.

 

Part of the reason I loved you so much is because I thought you were caring, understanding, and patient. I thought you cared about my well-being in my living situation, understood what it was doing to me in terms of being a quality partner, and were patient enough to wait until this could finally be over so we could see how things would be without this absurd weight on my shoulders.

 

I was wrong. You are nothing like what I thought you were. I should have never given you so many chances and let my emotional investment in you get so high. You are selfish and thoughtless. You put my life in more danger than it needs to be.

[11moreweeks]

Mi examen de practica fue bien. Obtení el puntaje máximo por el parte cuantitativo. Necesito practicar para obtener un puntaje mejor por el parte verbal, porque mi vocabulario es poco limitado, pero obtení un puntaje bueno por eso parte también. Hoy, mi casa es tan estresante como siempre, pero tengo confianza que puedo obtener puntajes sucientemente buenos para estudiar como graduado en una universidad buena y lejana.

 

Yo sé que te preocupas por mí. Todo estará bien eventualmente.

 

Para nosotros... Si viviéremos en un mundo más justo, estaríamos juntos. Yo no era capaz de darle la comodidad emocional que necesitaba mientras vivía la vida que vivo. Tu nuevo novio probablemente puede hacerlo. Eso está bien porque cualquiera puede amar a alguien.

 

Había querido casarme contigo, pero ahora, no quiero eso. Hubiéramos tenido un matrimonio bueno. Tenemos algunos incompatibilidades pequeños, y nuestro matrimonio tendría algunos problemas, pero habría sido feliz y funcional. Te amo, y es posible que tú también me amas, pero las relaciones necesitan más. Las relaciones necesitan confianza, y no la tengo. Tengo miedo a una vida dificíl, así que trabajo duro. Para tí, no tienes mucho miedo, pero tienes grandes expectativas en la vida. Quieres cosas bonitas y caras, y no quieres trabajar mucho. Habría estado bien con esta dinámica -- me gusta dar cosas para crear felicidad. Pero mi confianza está rota. El precedente ha sido establecido. Tengo demasiado miedo que, si estuviéramos juntos y yo estuviera trabajando demasiado, con amor en mi corazon, tendrías una aventura y me volverías dolor otra vez. Tengo miedo que no tienes tan paciencia, lealtad, ni interés en la comunicación para prevenir eso. No quiero cerrar la puerta, porque todo es posible, pero tengo miedo. Lo siento, Osa Osa.

 

No creo que nuestras últimas despedidas ha pasado. Hablará con la Osa Osa otra vez, pero.. el Oso Oso esta muerto. Lo mataste. La Osa Osa mató el Oso Oso. El Oso Oso difunto amará su Osa Osa hasta siempre. Para mí, el viviendo, te reconozcaré hasta siempre.

[Kev0s1983]

I said to trust my gut in regards to you and him. I remember saying "give her more credit than that" but yesterday on my news feed his profile pic changed to one of you and him, not embraced but sufficiently close to ... To what? Indicate? Suggest? It shouldnt matter, it doesnt matter. But it does matter to me. I cant help that.

 

As more time passes I am learning how much relief you must feel from being out of you and me. For what its worth Im sorry. I made my mistakes.

 

On a happier note, life has been constructive for me. I dont need to tell you how much better I look, you can see that. As for the other positives, they dont really concern you anymore do they? Im sure you probably do care, somewhere inside of you.

 

Im so proud of taking the less trodden path this time. It hasnt been easy but it is really proving worthwhile. Further, the path has become one I look forward to.

 

I hope he treats you right, treats you better than I did. It has made moving on easier being out of contact. - I wont forget that.

[postponednups]

I said to trust my gut in regards to you and him. I remember saying "give her more credit than that" but yesterday on my news feed his profile pic changed to one of you and him, not embraced but sufficiently close to ... To what? Indicate? Suggest? It shouldnt matter, it doesnt matter. But it does matter to me. I cant help that.

 

As more time passes I am learning how much relief you must feel from being out of you and me. For what its worth Im sorry. I made my mistakes.

 

On a happier note, life has been constructive for me. I dont need to tell you how much better I look, you can see that. As for the other positives, they dont really concern you anymore do they? Im sure you probably do care, somewhere inside of you.

 

Im so proud of taking the less trodden path this time. It hasnt been easy but it is really proving worthwhile. Further, the path has become one I look forward to.

 

I hope he treats you right, treats you better than I did. It has made moving on easier being out of contact. - I wont forget that.

 

I wish I could get to that point.

[Nina95]

Im in a rare drunken stupor, at 9pm, on a Tuesday evening. I had a fleeting glimpse into what our lives would be, something that felt like you had and would be the only one for me, it felt so beautiful for a split second, and then so terrifying after my rational mind saw that you and I could never be again. Why did I have to fall in love with you so much more than you loved me. Why does it have to hurt so much why, it hurts physically. Sometimes I wish I’d never met you. I just want it to stop. I need it to stop.

[Nina95]

In the rare moments of clarity, I can see I idealized you. I idealized us and the relationship. It was truly good many times, but it was also bad. Many times. The good couldnt truly justify the bad. I can see that clearly. I am just afraid of facing life, really. Without you. Without all my dreams and hopes of a life together, or of a life not alone. I guess I feel you got me, when no one else would? But maybe not really as it turns out. I dont know,it just hurts, there is like an emptiness, like there is no purpose to anything? The mornings are the worst, every time and every day. I dont want to get up and face the day, and then strangely enough it does get better, sometimes, as the day goes on. Sometimes. The evenings are no better, unless Im truly tired. I miss us. And I dont at the same time. I know, it doesn't make sense to me either.

[Coldandsleepy]

Happy anniversary.

[Kev0s1983]

It is seven weeks since you ended us. In fairness it was the correct move. Enough was enough. Why has it today been especially difficult? I believe because I was quite sure you would have reached out by now. You have not. Will you? I dont honestly know.

 

I dont honestly know if i would/could take you back now anyway. I suspect it would be the same for you. Much more time needs to pass and if our paths cross again sorta thing right?

 

I was so close to searching online today, ALMOST stalked you and him but I did not. I held strong, I am so proud I did. What if I found something, anything, what if I did not find something, anything. Dissecting all this gives me a serious headache - so stop? If it could be that easy.

 

I felt I was doing great, I am doing great, accept the good times and the bad. I wish I could walk to your place and knock on the door for you to greet me with watery eyes, embrace me. Maybe nothing would be spoken, nothing would need to be spoken. I miss you a great deal baby.

 

Was giving serious thought to looking at downloading that putrid thing tinder this weekend. I guess I will wait until Easter. That isnt so long to wait.

 

Still running ever day. I wish you could see me, looking better than I guess you would have seen me in a long time. you would have seen the photo on facebook as you are buddy buddy with jess. You didnt like it. Im glad. You are still friends with steve too - now that is a head scratcher! God damn it, stop analysing.

 

Bad day. Just let it go. Let you go. Walk away and keep your dignity is what I know to be the best thing I can do and AM doing it. Just finding it very difficult today.