Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Everlong13]

What the hell were you thinking liking my tweet then messaging and tweeting me about it on bloody Christmas day. Nothing for three months then that?? You're a selfish head.

[beaute94]

I left you in 2017, u didn’t know it. But hey..

[beaute94]

I left you in 2017, u didn’t know it. But hey..

 

I’m sure u didn’t care anyway!!!

[IAmFCA]

You have a skill that I lack, and I realize I’ve been imprecise.

 

My text to you was rash. You've always been careful how you communicate and this time had too much going on; I doubted my understanding of you, when instead I might have considered it an implementation error.

 

I am aware of and grateful for the ways you protect me — it is obviously effective given my reaction without it.

 

Should I be in this spot again, I will say - I am aware of and grateful for the ways you protect me, and leave it at that. I will let that be my mantra.

[IAmFCA]

I enjoyed the more intimate connection before I left and expected you to develop that when I got back. That's what hurt, that you just dropped it for a random sex partner.

 

That's the question - why did you drop it?

[dizzygirl]

I've had to make a list and its helping

 

Positives:

 

Makes me laugh

 

I enjoyed his company

 

Sex, when he could be bothered, was ok

 

Said when things get back to normal after Xmas?

 

Kissed me goodbye

 

Made me a tea

 

Showed dislike towards Paula Yates affair with Michael Hutchins (how ironic)

 

Chatted in bed

 

The letter E

 

Negatives:

 

Was back on POF on 22nd Dec

 

Don’t remember what happened in sex think I fell asleep

 

Left early

 

Single future

 

Leaves me feeling confused all the time

 

Not really bothered about anyone even his daughter, only talks about himself

 

Makes a strange noise when drinking

 

Messy Eater

 

No manners

 

I only fancy him in glasses and he's changed those to some stupid ones now that dont fit him

 

Gives me a gifted bottle of champagne from work and makes out he bought it

 

Has a strange dress sense

 

Weird shoes

 

Plays the victim in all previous relationships

 

Still lives at home at 51 with Mum

 

Telling the same stories now for the 3rd time around

 

Doesn't wash when showering or bathing

 

Wallows in self-pity

 

Expects everyone to run around after him

 

Lives in the past

 

No responsibility in sexual health

 

Has his name on his bedroom wall?

[sputnik123]

You dodged a massive bullet Dizzygirl :)

[IAmFCA]

I've had to make a list and its helping

 

Positives:

 

Makes me laugh

 

I enjoyed his company

 

Sex, when he could be bothered, was ok

 

Said when things get back to normal after Xmas?

 

Kissed me goodbye

 

Made me a tea

 

Showed dislike towards Paula Yates affair with Michael Hutchins (how ironic)

 

Chatted in bed

 

The letter E

 

Negatives:

 

Was back on POF on 22nd Dec

 

Don’t remember what happened in sex think I fell asleep

 

Left early

 

Single future

 

Leaves me feeling confused all the time

 

Not really bothered about anyone even his daughter, only talks about himself

 

Makes a strange noise when drinking

 

Messy Eater

 

No manners

 

I only fancy him in glasses and he's changed those to some stupid ones now that dont fit him

 

Gives me a gifted bottle of champagne from work and makes out he bought it

 

Has a strange dress sense

 

Weird shoes

 

Plays the victim in all previous relationships

 

Still lives at home at 51 with Mum

 

Telling the same stories now for the 3rd time around

 

Doesn't wash when showering or bathing

 

Wallows in self-pity

 

Expects everyone to run around after him

 

Lives in the past

 

No responsibility in sexual health

 

Has his name on his bedroom wall?

 

This list is classic. Keep on your path!

[IAmFCA]

I have to say, when I made a list it helped me find a more conciliatory path ... I could find only one dislike; everything else was something I appreciated.

 

Anyway, still using this space to hone what is important; I don't want to talk about it I hate that.

 

So I think its this:

 

I enjoyed the path we were on before I left and looked forward to picking it back up on my return. And then, it was just gone - seemingly, because someone else occupied that space.

 

Had you been able to continue the path as before I left, then I wouldn't have acknowledged any other. It was the loss of the path and the presence of another in fact to make timen for another - in combination that set me back.

 

I think about how to advance in a multidating scenario and I do think its possible. That said, I don't think either of us wants me to be getting benched anytime someone else wants an audition.

 

I do hope you can find a way, because i liked what we were doing before.

 

Ahh this is closer.

[dizzygirl]

Thank you, I’m getting there

[IAmFCA]

Thank you, I’m getting there

 

You are doing great!

[IAmFCA]

I have to say, when I made a list it helped me find a more conciliatory path ... I could find only one dislike; everything else was something I appreciated.

 

Anyway, still using this space to hone what is important; I don't want to talk about it I hate that.

 

So I think its this:

 

I enjoyed the path we were on before I left and looked forward to picking it back up on my return. And then, it was just gone - seemingly, because someone else occupied that space.

 

Had you been able to continue the path as before I left, then I wouldn't have acknowledged any other. It was the loss of the path and the presence of another in fact to make timen for another - in combination that set me back.

 

I think about how to advance in a multidating scenario and I do think its possible. That said, I don't think either of us wants me to be getting benched anytime someone else wants an audition.

 

I do hope you can find a way, because i liked what we were doing before.

 

Ahh this is closer.

 

Nope this is not it.

 

How to build intimacy while multidating... I like the path we were on, and I agree that multidating is logical... think about how to advance ?

[IAmFCA]

Ok. I have had this convo with myself, and I am glad of it (contrary to normal thinking) because there is no point in having it with anyone else. The pace was too fast, or you got ahead of yourself, or some such. 'Friends' better. My dear we have never been anything but.

[Dominique]

I brought all these people together and I have no one. Shared so much love and so much heart and was so real...but I am the only one sitting here all alone. You all have each other and all my money and I have nothing. No one.

 

Just wow. Life is just wow.

[IAmFCA]

I brought all these people together and I have no one. Shared so much love and so much heart and was so real...but I am the only one sitting here all alone. You all have each other and all my money and I have nothing. No one.

 

Just wow. Life is just wow.

 

Love is an unlimited asset that we can give 24/7 at no loss to ourselves. Give yourself some love. Love for yourself always comes first. Can you?

[dizzygirl]

Just a week before we split I asked you if you were still into me and you said YES, why did you lie to me. Why haven't you acknowledged that text I sent you, did I really mean all to you. Why am I feeling like today?

[sputnik123]

If you were honest with me I would never have been in this mess.

 

One day you will have the chance to look me in the eye. Let's see if you take it.

[Seymore]

Dear C,

 

I saw you tonight and didn't know how to react. You looked beautiful as ever and I kid you not, what had to be a million thoughts flew through my mind in that split second. Our history, good and bad, your kids, how they must be doing. Every single night these past two years, I'd imagined I was curled up next to you. Every. Single. Night. I'd hug my pillow calling you my snuggle monkey, as I did with you every night we were together.

 

You were the love of my life. Every thing I do, I wish you were there with me. You accepted me for who I was, but you still abused me. You denied that - the last time I saw you, and even claimed I was the one who did it to you, but you and I both know that wasn't true and you have issues. I could never trust you, and you gave me obvious reasons not to. Then you blamed me for not being faithful. I NEVER looked at another female with love OR lust after I met you. You were IT. My eyes were always on you. But thanks to your drinking and paranoia, and your obsession with my father's approval among other things, I had to leave. I left all of our friends, I left you, left your kids...I left my entire life behind because you were such a big part of it. Did you know my dad never liked my previous girlfriends? I know I told you. They were in their 20s and they didn't care. You were in your 40s and it was your obsession. I stood up to him and spent the majority of each holiday with you and your kids and the minority with them. And it didn't faze me.

 

 

I am still always. Only. Yours.

 

S

[Waraqqa]

It's not smth you did, but the absence of compelling reasons/needs for me to stay. I don't want to get over-invested. I don't know how to be cool and detached with you (can't shift there), and being warm and affectionate feels wrong when it's uneven and half the time met with silence or dry one-liners, - I'm letting myself down. There is no space for me to give, you don't need it.

 

The most logical alternative is for me to mirror your ways, in which case it's anyway likely to dissipate passively, which I don't like. It's like you got my loyalty that you wanted, put it in the pocket and then quietly fade away without even a good-bye - as if I won't notice. Come on! You think I won't? You think we are still dear friends though you rejected me, hardly ever talk to me, and I feel like a beggar reaching out?

I cannot have you. But at least I want to reclaim myself and go free. You can't have me this way. You can't have someone atoning for a mistakes the way I did in unimaginable ways for such a long time, then giving everything above and beyond and trying so hard to be their best, go through undescribable hell and self-annihilation to stick around, and all in vain, only to have your silence or occasional one-liners that I took like huge gifts, you never wanting me or reach out to me or for once take the first step towards me. I paid for everything, I gave so much, I've nothing else to give you.

[Nightsong]

Find your answers, sweetheart. You worry so much about others, just do you. Remember that you are beautiful, I hope you begin to believe it, because you are. Give yourself some love and good company. I think you are now so I'm happy for you.

 

I'm grateful that while this nearly destroyed me, it didn't. And because of that it's going to help me transform myself completely. I'm not there yet but I'm going to be so much stronger after this. I needed the wake up. I needed my foundation shook to thaw me out of that deep freeze of complacency. Thank you.

 

If our paths ever touch again, though, know you're going to have to earn me and my affection. I will not chase you again unless you express sincere interest in me, not just my presence. I'll be honest, you left a boy in a man's body. I was embarrassed at how weak and unsure I acted. But you'll be coming back to a man. Think about me, but with that direction I sorely needed. Healthier and happier. I won't be looking up to, but across at you. That's the way it should be, equals with mutual respect. I hope you find a similar breakthrough in your own life and maybe we can talk about it all in some little hole in the wall coffee shop one day, and just start over.

 

ps. I still wish I met your grandpa.

[Carus]

I've done all I could, the rest is up to you.

 

We both know life would be easier and better if we were together...but you just won't have it.

 

You have convinced yourself and so this is how it will be.

 

Your stubbornness is blocking something wonderful*

[melody147]

Don't remember the last day I wanted to live

[IAmFCA]

OK babe. You raise your hand when you feel like it, if you ever do.

 

Whereas before you were interviewing me under the least advantageous and most arbitrary contexts, now you will not be interviewing me at all. And you know what? I'm okay with that.

 

Maybe N will help you understand, but I doubt you have talked about me at all. In fact, I think you do understand.

 

When talking politics, you exhibit two danger zones: a quick trigger, and all or nothing thinking. You have lessons to learn, but none I can teach you. Only lessons maybe I can show you. Fingers crossed you will be curious enough to observe, analyze, inquire, in time. I have lessons too - I think I learned.

 

You think if you date me again, its all or nothing. That's silly. Really, all that has happened proved my instincts correct. She has no idea, and yes I am jealous, and truly I hope she burns out. But I wouldn't have cared if you had juggled better. I know you cared, by your missteps.

 

Sorry babe. I cared too.

 

In the meantime, I am off to pursue my national title. Which title The Greek provides two sentences and he is supportive, fuel on my back. You are more available than he is, .. or maybe, less. Such a waste, its stupid.

[sunshine34]

This is my sanctuary, this is my place to go to vent, to refresh , to be around others that are hurting too and that somehow makes me feel less alone, so thank you ena for existing and especially this thread. It’s like a place where I can stand out and blend in all at the same time. Anywyas, I finally pulled the plug today. No more limbo, no more sadness , no more begging and pleading you to just give me what I need. I’m not really sure why you stayed with me when you didn’t give a about my happiness. It’s riveting when you are the one breaking up w someone but it’s so clear u are the invested one.. I woke up this morning nauseous , nauseous and anxious because I was sick of not knowing how you feel and what was going on... I poured my heart out to you telling you about my vision and my dream of us working... not only did u ignore it and reply with morning but you scolded me for texting u... saying we have to have the conversation in person and I told u even when we did the words never came from your mouth. You told me next time... brushing me aside bc for u, it didn’t matter if we ever had the talk, you were totally fine. So when it’s about me, oh well, it can wait. My anxiety and nausea took over and I no longer could continue to only care about u and ur needs... told you we had to talk today via FaceTime.. I try and u tell me u are at a client lunch , were u with a client ? I don’t know... later u finally call .. telling me Again basically scolding me that u can’t handle this conversation and this drama so I just tell u, u won’t have to. This is our last talk and I just want closure.. if u can just tell me none of that dream was true for u. Finally u admit we just have different priorities and u don’t put that person first, “I have to look out for me bc no one does” and honestly I’m satisfied just to hear u tell me that u can’t give it to me.. conversation takes a turn and u tell me I need someone to baby me and an old dr... then the call drops and I try u back and ur on the other line...I text u saying I loved u and that u can’t even bother to say goodbye to me. You answer with your usual tone of exhaustion. I tell u how I have u everything and u have me nothing and u say I gave u nothing but then I tell u I’ve been asking for the same thing for months and U also admit you can’t give me that , which was all I’ve wanted to hear u say... so I can give up hope and know I fought until the end for you. I guess I’m harboring guilt for going out the last time we broke up and how u said that changed u and ur perception and u were never the same.. but knowing there’s nothing I could have done to make it right, makes me feel at peace. Then u went back to being annoyed w me so I just said listen this is the last time we are speaking can u at least say something nice . U said fine Jen I’ll do that for u, whatever u want, I’ll fake it for u.. then all u could say was that I was a good person and u liked me.... can’t even talk about how gut wrenching it is that I can write messages like this about u and that’s what you say about me... then this is where all the truth comes out. I say next time maybe just let the girl go sooner... why did u keep seeing me when u knew what I wanted and that U couldn’t give it to me? U use ur usual bs bc I like to spend time w u and then u uncover some bs saying I never told u I was going to marry u, u knew I was an .... shocked. Not even really sure what else to say to that. Then u literally psychopath ally try to mix in casual conversation asking me how my day was and where I’m traveling that my face doesn’t look red from laser .... I’m telling u I love u and u crushed me, I’m leaving and this is how u respond... but IM the crazy one ?!? At this point I know there’s nothing else to be said... ur basically saying I can do whatever I want I do whatever I want and I said oh so there were other women ? And u brush it off. At this point knowing that is irrelevant ... outcome is the same, u don’t love me, u don’t care about me or my happiness , u see no future, u don’t want to be with me. It’s over. I’m sure over the next few days I’ll be sadder. And there is a weird part of me that will still be checking my email in case u say something but I do feel like I’ve seen ur true colors ... what could u say? Why would u say anything ? U just let me go and honestly,’for the right reason . U aren’t the guy for me. Also, a stupid part of me wondering if ur testing me.... if this is all to see if I would go out w another guy again... but I know that is ridiculous and not the case I just don’t really understand what happened from me going away until now. I guess again it doesn’t matter. The truth remains the same. I need to heal and find out how to get what I want and what that looks like . Thank u ena community 😚🤗

[AtitAgain]

I've been missing you a lot... I am sorry for what I did. I really wish I could go back to April and change all of this from the day it started. That we could have talked about it, and that I explained to you how I was feeling... I am sorry that you are hurting so much. Every day sucks now... especially the evenings and nights when I am alone in a nice looking apartment with no one to share it with....

 

I miss your messy hair when you get out of the shower... how you looked like "Tommy Wiseau" LOL... hope I get to look into your pretty eyes again and see that that deep and amazing love you had is still there some day....

 

Can't concentrate at work... I just miss you a lot.... I am sorry...