Nightsong

I'm okay with your decision. Love yourself. You're so stunningly beautiful, there is so much to love. Your imperfections are so easy to love, so don't worry. Keep your pictures up, they're stunning. Be proud. It's all going to be okay. Believe in you, I do. Without question. You're the most capable girl your age I've ever met. Way brighter than I was then haha.. I'm glad you have someone that adores you to help you through these days. You deserve that. And so do I. But I hope you can give yourself that adoration a little more every day too. I've found myself again, I'm just fighting through the last turbulence of this. I've found the direction I didn't have through most of our relationship. I have my purpose and I'm going to do what I truly want to now. I'm going to help people the way I do best. This decision feels great, and certain. Think I might even get a dog! I'd love to tell you about it, I know you'd be so happy and proud of me. It's okay cause I know you can feel what I feel when I think of you. So in a way, you'll know. Gotta think about myself now though. I've got to let go. I want the same relief and to bask in real love again too. I miss that feeling. I'm so grateful you brought that to my life. Think better of me. Remember me for who I am, before the whole mess. That's who I want you to remember. Cause I'm gonna hold on to the best of you. Deal? Love you.

Find your answers, sweetheart. You worry so much about others, just do you. Remember that you are beautiful, I hope you begin to believe it, because you are. Give yourself some love and good company. I think you are now so I'm happy for you. I'm grateful that while this nearly destroyed me, it didn't. And because of that it's going to help me transform myself completely. I'm not there yet but I'm going to be so much stronger after this. I needed the wake up. I needed my foundation shook to thaw me out of that deep freeze of complacency. Thank you. If our paths ever touch again, though, know you're going to have to earn me and my affection. I will not chase you again unless you express sincere interest in me, not just my presence. I'll be honest, you left a boy in a man's body. I was embarrassed at how weak and unsure I acted. But you'll be coming back to a man. Think about me, but with that direction I sorely needed. Healthier and happier. I won't be looking up to, but across at you. That's the way it should be, equals with mutual respect. I hope you find a similar breakthrough in your own life and maybe we can talk about it all in some little hole in the wall coffee shop one day, and just start over. ps. I still wish I met your grandpa.