off meds for pregnancy.hate crowds,noise..

[EmptySoul]

writing to write. if you reply, please don't be mean.

 

we decided to try to get pregnant!

 

i walked from my house to the library, then here to java jive, since my wireless isn't working at home right now. i've been off my zanax and prozac a few days now. i feel i have done pretty good so far but right now, i feel like crap.

 

i felt like everyone was staring at me the whole walk down here. some guys in a big truck whistled at me..i got nervous and almost disorented just having to cross intersections and pass people on the sidewalks. i broke out in a sweat that is still going... felt like everyone was staring at me on the way in the door here, while i waited on the end of the bar for my water, while i looked for a place to sit..my chest is tight tight tight and was worse when all the loud machines were going to make people's coffee drinks..

 

yesterday, with branham(my fiance) and my mom this place was relaxing. now i am so on edge and just want to leave. it makes it worse, how much i hate being like this. i want to be normal!!!!!

 

a child will be my life's purpose besides loving branham. branham and our child will anchor me, give me the air i need. the smile i can't find.

 

but right now he is at work, and the other people's conversations over lap and seem so loud. another headache is forming...

 

e.

[SDEGirl]

I'm sorry but I think if you assume a child will make everything better you may be in for a big shocker.

 

If your parents are OK with this I guess it's fine.

 

However I think you are too young to have a child. Especially if you need to be on meds to feel "normal." Have you spoken to a Dr. about how your meds and the way you feel could affect the healthy of your future child?

[jengh]

Did you just abruptly stop your anti-depressants? Doing so as opposed to coming off of them gradually can really mess you up, make you paranoid, anxious, etc. It can be really dangerous. I hope you talked to your doctor before going off of them?

[dangletsbang]

 

ES, I would talk to your doc regarding this. I know you have to stop due to being pregnant, if i'm correct. As I recall my best friend having to stop her xanax and prozac when she got pregnant. I'm not sure what the guidlines are though when trying to conceive. As far as coping until you can see your doctor I would just try to relax as much as possible. Read a book, listen to calming music, take a relaxing warm bath/shower, take a small nap, etc. I know your feeling a bit overwhelmed right now but take a deep breath...ENA is here for you!

[EmptySoul]

i don't think a child will make everything better but it will make some things better. my fiance is almost 23 and we've talked about this for a while. i mostly have anxiety that is bad when i'm not with him or around someone that makes me feel safe. when i go in big places with him or with someone i know, i feel okay. it's only bad when i'm alone. i gradually stopped taking my meds. i talked to my doctor about a medicine for anxiety i had heard was safe for pregnancy but he said it is safer to not be on anything at all. i would not be able to live with it if my child had a birth defect because i wasn't strong enough to make it on my own..i am considering going to a therapist maybe? i just don't know how much that will help since i don't really have any unresolved issues just anxiety.

 

i know a child is more money, more food, more stuff, more responsibility, more stress, etc. but when i am around a child i feel happy. like i said, alone, i feel too empty. i am happiest when i have a task, something to care for, to take care of.

 

AND I AM NOT PREGNANT NOW, I JUST STARTED TRYING TO GET PREGNANT

e.

[HeartGoesOn]

Going off your meds for depression is very dangerous, if not done gradually, and under a Doctor's guidance. I would not mess around, and take chances like this especially since you're now pregnant. This could endanger your child.

 

Take care...

[SDEGirl]

 

In my opinion having a child at 20 is way too young. And I've seen what happens to couples first hand who start popping out babies at such young ages and it hardly ever turns out well.

 

Especially when you add depression and meds into the mix.

 

But good luck to ya! I hope you can handle everything.

[HeartGoesOn]

Sorry, I thought you were now pregnant.

 

I know this wasn't your question, but although it's true that being around a baby makes you happy, do you both have the financial means to support a baby? Also, do you and your boyfriend have your own place to live?

[langford]

maybe stop being so self aware/self involved, concentrate on others,think of yourself and what your feeling less.Really works for me,better than any meds.

[avman]

EmptySoul I remember you well from early on here. You've gone through a lot of serious issues with your mental and emotional health. I strongly urge you to talk to a doctor before tinkering with your medications like this. Tell your doctor about your plans to get pregnant and they can advise you whether your medications are appropriate, whether you need to switch, or if you need to discontinue them they will give you a safe method to do so. Never just quit these medications suddenly because your body will react strongly to it.

 

And as the others have mentioned, you should really rethink your reasons for having a child. It's not a good idea to have one to make it your "life's purpose". There is more to it than that. You need to truly be ready for one and for a lifetime committment.

 

If being around kids makes you happy, then why not volunteer at a childrens center or a school? Or pursue a teaching career? See if the children's hospital needs any help with the kids. Or any one of many opportunities to be around children a lot without actually having to be totally responsible for one.

[SapphireNoir10]

EmptySoul, I will second what others have said here. You have to be careful with meds and I also reccomend talking to your doctor.

 

Also, your very young to have a child, I know plenty of people do, but are you emotionally and financially ready for this? I know things have been tough with your bf before, are you two strong enough for this? babies are a big strain.

 

Best of luck with everything.

[LazyDaisy]

I took antidepressants the entire time I was pregnant. They do not cross the placenta so it is ok to take them. You can verify this with your doctor. You can't take them if you plan to breast feed because they will get in the milk.

[SamiJayne]

When I was on anti depressents, I was told that I should come of them slowly. And wait 2-3 months. You should go to your doctors and make sure your not putting a future child at risk.

 

Does your doctor know you have suddenly stopped taking them?

 

And I know having a child will NOT make it all better. Your still going to be anxious, and do you want your baby to learn that, that is normal? Don't you want to be 100%?

[SamiJayne]

I took antidepressants the entire time I was pregnant. They do not cross the placenta so it is ok to take them. You can verify this with your doctor. You can't take them if you plan to breast feed because they will get in the milk.

 

In the UK you can't take anti depressents until after 22 weeks. And even then it was a really low dosage.

 

Anti depressents, and other types of medication can or "could" effect the growth of the child. Plus even with my low dosage, I was told I couldn't breast feed if I stayed on the medication.

[Capricorn3]

I'm sorry but I think if you assume a child will make everything better you may be in for a big shocker.

I agree. If you can't handle crowds and noise, and almost disorented just having to cross intersections and pass people on the sidewalks, then how will you cope handling a screaming/crying baby which needs 24/7 care? Having a baby will NOT help you in any way, shape or form, whatsoever. In fact, it could probably make things a lot worse for you, and in turn, is extremely unfair to the child.

 

I suggest you sort yourself out first before bringing a baby into this world. See your doctor and tell them you have come off your medication and that you intend falling pregnant and let THEM advise you as to which way to go.

[arwen]

First of all, there are medications that are safe during pregnancy. My friend is on meds and is also monitored, and now she's 20 weeks along and doing well.

 

I don't have experience as a mother yet, but I do know what it is to be pregnant, and also how it is to get off meds. I am currently 15 weeks pregnant, but I came off Effexor more than 2 years ago. I did that gradually and it took some time for me to stabilize both mentally and physically. We started trying for a baby only this March, I got pregnant in May. I am glad I took the time to get healthy first, because I never expected to get pregnant so soon.

 

When you are TRYING to get pregnant, you have to be ready to BE pregnant, health-wise. It can happen very fast!

 

In addition, I think it's not wise to have a child to gain a purpose in your life. It's the other way around, your life should be as much stable and happy as possible, a child, and being pregnant will not make your life more easy. As for the first, don't underestimate what the hormones will do to you mentally and physically. This will start in the first weeks of pregnancy, and last until you stop breastfeeding (and even then it takes time). It's not the same for all women, but it can be very heavy.

 

I strongly suggest you see a doctor about the meds and your plans of trying to conceive. A child is a commitment for life, it's not a filling for a void you feel now.

[Catdancer]

You can take prozac while pregnant. I took Effexor throught my whole pregnany. You need to get back on your meds and place a call to your doctor to see what you do need to stop and what you can stay on.

[Hope75]

I took antidepressants the entire time I was pregnant. They do not cross the placenta so it is ok to take them. You can verify this with your doctor. You can't take them if you plan to breast feed because they will get in the milk.

 

This is absolutely not true. There are some antidepressants that have less of an adverse effect on the fetus but they absolutely do cross the placenta and do affect the fetus, so it should be discussed with your OB since it is a risk vs. benefit ratio and you have to decide if you can safely be off your meds while pregnant, and if not your OB and you can discuss which ones will be 'safer' in pregnancy, although all antidepressants do carry some risk, some more than others. It's important to do your research and understand that there is a risk to the fetus, but it has to be weighed against your ability to safely come off your meds without fear of severe depression, ability to function, self harm or suicide, all of which may be a greater risk to the fetus.

 

Here is a website about drug use during pregnancy that may help you: (along with some of the classic antidepressants)

 

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As you can see here all of these drugs are category C or D, which indicates either known or suspected adverse effects on the fetus and the explanation of the risks associated with those categories is listed here:

 

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[metrogirl]

I agree. If you can't handle crowds and noise, and almost disorented just having to cross intersections and pass people on the sidewalks, then how will you cope handling a screaming/crying baby which needs 24/7 care? Having a baby will NOT help you in any way, shape or form, whatsoever. In fact, it could probably make things a lot worse for you, and in turn, is extremely unfair to the child.

 

I suggest you sort yourself out first before bringing a baby into this world. See your doctor and tell them you have come off your medication and that you intend falling pregnant and let THEM advise you as to which way to go.

 

I agree with this 100%. Having had a child at a young age myself, I can tell you first hand that it's not all that it's cracked up to be. Babies need constant attention and while you may feel that you are ready to do this and you probably have the best intentions, babies need and want a lot. The constant crying is enough drive Mother Theresa nuts. That will only add to your anxiety I think. Trying to provide for a baby will add to your anxiety unless you and your boyfriend are financially well off.

 

It's true that babies bring a whole new element of love but.......you need to be in the right place emotionally to fully appreciate and enjoy this. Emotionally, based on your thread, I don't think you are ready.

 

I agree with the other poster that said you should spend some time volunteering with children either at schools or at a local hospital.

 

Take the time to get well first, work on your mental health then when you are feeling at your finest, you can try for a baby.

[EmptySoul]

i don't know if many of you didn't read my post well but i WENT TO THE DOCTOR. HE ADVISED ME TO STAY OFF ANY MEDS JUST TO BE SAFE. if he says it is safer to do it alone, then that is what i will do. we both have stable jobs, have our own place, etc. i have helped at day cares before...i've been trying to find people to babysit for but it has not worked out so far. my fiance is stable now he has been on his meds for a while now, and that has solved any problems we had..i'm sorry, i guess it is not right to say you want a child to make them your whole life...i can't describe the feeling i have, being lonely in some way that friends can't fill.

e.

[arwen]

The wish for a baby is natural and if you can afford it, and are in a stable relationship (with yourself and your partner), I don't think it's wrong to try. But why not get off the meds first, stabilize and THEN start trying for a baby? Why the rush?

 

Honestly, I think that that loneliness you have, is something that should be resolved or dealt with by yourself. It's not the job of your child, so to say. I'd generally say that you should never try to conceive to solve a problem, that being loneliness or relationship issues (you often hear people try for a baby when the relationship is getting boring, hoping it will glue it back together).

[LazyDaisy]

Ok maybe I wrong about the meds crossing the placenta - that is what my OB told me. In any case I took Celexa my entrire pregnancy. My son was healthy in every way.

 

One thing I can tell you for sure, I have a child and sometimes I still feel really lonely. Even when he is right next to me. The love for a child is a completely different kind of love then what you feel for a SO or friends.

[Hope75]

i don't know if many of you didn't read my post well but i WENT TO THE DOCTOR. HE ADVISED ME TO STAY OFF ANY MEDS JUST TO BE SAFE. if he says it is safer to do it alone, then that is what i will do. we both have stable jobs, have our own place, etc. i have helped at day cares before...i've been trying to find people to babysit for but it has not worked out so far. my fiance is stable now he has been on his meds for a while now, and that has solved any problems we had..i'm sorry, i guess it is not right to say you want a child to make them your whole life...i can't describe the feeling i have, being lonely in some way that friends can't fill.

e.

 

I can understand you feeling lonely, but I do want to share something with you that I didn't really understand until I became a mom 8 weeks ago.

 

Having a baby is a wonderful thing when you are ready, it is, but honestly if you do not already have a very good support system in place (close family, solid and reliable stable friends and a partner who is responsible, and who treats you with respect and kindness) having a baby can be very isolating- and even can be with good supports, as I have.

 

I am still on maternity leave and I do go out with my baby and have a lot of great friends who come and see me almost every week, but my husband is working full time and I am with the baby all day and at times it is very lonely. She isn't old enough to really communicate with me beyond crying when she is wet, hungry, bored, lonely or in pain, and other times she is mostly asleep, leaving me alone in my house with not much to do but clean and watch TV or go online. I take her out for walks frequently but honestly you can't go for too long, she needs to be fed and changed about every 2 hours and packing all that crap and trying to do it on a park bench or in the car just isn't practical or easy. Other times we leave the house and she is just very fussy (as babies can be) and we need to go home, she just needs less stimulation or a change of scenery. So, I am home a lot, for all intense purposes by myself. And my baby, I love her so much, but she takes A LOT more than she can give, that is just the way babies are. My life revolves around her needs right now.

 

So, I hope you will read this and think seriously about what you want and what you expect from a baby, because yes my baby has become a BIG part of my life, but she has changed it so much too in that I have less freedom and more solitude, so consider that before trying for a baby, because this is the reality of being a parent to a young baby. I was ready for this and expecting of it and it is still very hard, but if you are not expecting this, and if you are expecting the baby to fill a void, you may be in for a very rude awakening.

 

Just some food for thought.

[EmptySoul]

Thanks for a giving a good reply without being rude. A lot of people can't seem to manage that, and my feelings get hurt easily. My fiance' and I work opposite shifts, so we don't get to spend as much time together as most couples. But it makes us really appreciate the time we do get together. We are both homebodies mostly, except to walk around together or go out to eat...most of the time I am already home by myself. In the positive, this means that 90% of the time after I have to go back to work, we will almost never need a babysitter, or day care. I also work somewhere where I get paid vacation. I am not going to take a vacation this year at all so I have it built up to take after my maternity leave is over..I realize, especially in the beginning that a child can nowhere give back what they need to receive but like I said, it makes me happy. I don't know what else to say except that I love my fiance more than life, we help each other make it through the struggles and crap of every day life, he helps me enjoy life, and this is what I am 100% sure I want to do. I do not feel the sacrifices that I will have to make are even worth mentioning, anything is worth it to give a child what they need.

e.

[lavenderdove]

I think with most anti-depressents/anti-anxiety medication, you do need to taper off it gradually. Stopping abruptly can be very dangerous and make you potentially suicidal or even cause delusional episodes, so i wouldn't just stop abruptly.

 

Why not taper off them over a couple months? Cut your dosage down slowly, and then do every other day, then every third day etc., until you are off completely after a month. Then go a month and see if you are fine without any medication. If you are, then you are ready to try for a baby.

 

If you suffer from depression/anxiety, you have to be very cautious with your biochemistry, and hormone changes can have a nasty impact on women who naturally have depression. So you need to approach this carefully for your sake and your own baby's sake. If you get flung into a bad post partum depression, you could neglect and/or hate your baby, and become suicidal or dangerously psychotic. So you have to be very careful about how you handle this.

 

If you are asking a gynechologist he will say best to have no drugs, but you need to see a specialist who deals with mental issues during and after pregnancy. They know how to help you have a safe and happy pregnancy and a stable mental condition after birth.

 

You also might want to read the book, 'Down Came the Rain' by Brooke Shields who had a surprise attack of post partum depression and really hated her baby for awhile, to understand that when you have depression, having a baby may not solve your problem but complicate it. She solved her problem with medication after the baby was born, but went thru an awful period when she tried to do it withouyt medication.

 

You can do it healthily if you are under a doctor's treatment who has specific experience in treating women who are pregnant/postpartum and have depression/anxiety issues.

 

So if you really want a baby you should strive for that, but do in in a smart way that doesn't endanger your mental health or your ability to love/care for a new baby.