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langford

Bronze Member
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Everything posted by langford

  1. Cynical: Begin today. No matter how feeble the light, let it shine as best it may. The world may need just that quality of light which you have.
  2. I couldnt care less if my boyfriend had forty million girl friends,my ex boyf had a best friend [a girl] who was in love with him and it didnt bother me in the least. When the best friend spilled to my boyf how much she loved him in a letter and why was he with me,he told her he preferred me because i wasnt clingy or demanding. I think too much possesiveness or anxiety about his faithfulness can make a guy want to run off with someone else. If your boyfriend is going to cheat he is going to cheat wether its with his friend or with some stranger.You can't control what people are going to do.
  3. I've met young women who are old and old women who are young. We do not grow chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. I know people who are 17-22 who are more mature,more together,more experienced, and much more intelligent than myself. Age is something that measures time and nothing more.
  4. keep up the nc otherwise move,nc does work - I had a stalker and giving them no reaction or repsponse is the only thing that detours them.
  5. I can't believe you get paid to sit on aim,let alone him getting paid from you,what a great job.
  6. Possesiveness is fatal to a relationship even in a mild form,but don't be hard on yourself about it. I suspect somewhere in the past someone you truly depended on deserted you or let you down,a parent? or somebody? and so maybe you're extra wary of it happening again and act accordingly? My ex boyfriend acted the same way,much later I realised it was probably because his mother left him as a child.
  7. I also think you need to get help before you pyschologically damage this girl.
  8. The absolute only solution ive discovered is somebody else. You think there is no way you could feel the same way about anybody else - but when you actually meet someone else who you enjoy being with as much if not more - the other person becomes much less important to your happiness. This was the only thing that erased my once very strong feelings.
  9. yes I think it mirrors real life mostly,the IM iniatior is usually keener than the other person but not always - girls usually want the guy to IM them first.And the time it takes that person to send an IM once you've connected says alot about what they think of you. Short one word answers are obviously pretty clear signs of disinterest,i don't know about slow responses though - the person could be thinking about what to say,writing a detailed reply or have dial up.
  10. A Negative reaction toward beauty?? this is not a society that diminishs or devalues beauty, if anything it has a preoccupation with beauty and honours it much more than personality etc etc. I've never seen any ad company use a "nice personality" to sell a product they use models/beautiful faces etc because we value that far more. Beauty is very important.
  11. Not all people in their late 20's has there life mapped out and wants to get married. I did'nt know what I wanted at 21 and I still change my mind all the time,people grow and learn at different degrees,regardless of age. Age is something that measures time, nothing more. Spend time with this person and see how you fit that's the most important thing in any relationship.
  12. Tell her you're 17 and don't know what you want out of life yet,that's a fair and justified reason.
  13. Mitch, I really encourage you to find your roots whatever the consequence,even if just means going to thailand and not meeting them at all.It's so important to know where you come from and to not become completely anglo-nized and forget,to lose one's heritage is a massive loss and your sense of indentity will otherwise be a bit dodgy. Thailand is very close to oz and if you ask your parents about it i'm sure they'd give you some information on your parents or at least some help. All the best.
  14. The centuries old "treat them mean keep them keen" mantra still rings true it seems. We have all been emotional masochists at one point or another,everyone of us so don't feel so terrible about it.You loved this girl and though she obviously did'nt deserve it,it does'nt lessen you as a person to have offered it. Often we don't believe we deserve respect or love,this is your opportunity to have standards. Being cheated on is a rejection it makes you question your value as a boyfriend,as a person.I think the reason it took you so long to get over her is because the experience probably decimated your sense of worth.It often seems safer to just reflect and hang on to the old relationship than to risk it all again on new one and move on. I was in the same situation with an ex-boyf, I cheated on him countless times,similar story.He stuck around also,refused to break up,would'nt let it go even after I broke up with him,wasted years trying to get us back together.He was a great guy,a whole bunch of girls were completely in love with him. He deserved more. Crazy as dr phil is,he's right when he says you teach people how to treat you,the last time I saw him he didnt give me the time of day it was the first time I recognised what I had.
  15. If anything a person with a hugh number of friends on myspace/etc is off putting,it downgrades your friendship with them as just one of many,and they come off as a bit of "friendship" whxre without any real standards for deep relationships. The people with fewer friends appeal to me, it's a bit more special to be invited into their world than into someone who just chucks any old person in.
  16. better a tooth out than always aching....
  17. Just tell her life's too brief for making strategies,if she likes you back she won't care how she gets this info she'll just be glad to have it.
  18. She may just lack the ability to express herself properly,it's not indicative of a lack of depth. I know for myself I am a rather deep thinker but in general day to day conversation I can't articulate any of it and so talk about alot of crap. She may also just feel that what she has to say isn't relevant enough or clever enough or especially important.I know I feel that alot,you may want to reassure her that you value her opinions.
  19. He seems to be the centre of his universe,all he talks about are his miseries,his strifes,his difficulties and the endless things he wishes he had. What about the things he does have?? a girlfriend who loves and adores him who supports him completely,that's a huge asset in this life.He is in university,he has somewhere to live,his grandmother is family and still cares about him enough to let him live with her. I agree with Agent 100% he needs to stop playing the victim and take some responsiblity for the direction of his life and deal with the way it has turned out.Fked up things happen to everyone and you have to move on from it and stop expecting others to carry your backpack for you. You are incredibly patient.
  20. Bron, It is true that it takes every thing you've got to make your world and your iron will to overcome the dark pages of your life.
  21. I second that it makes a tremendous difference,its a cliche thing to say but the sight of the sun and the birds and animals at peace with their lot make it hard to pity oneself.
  22. Well its probably just a fear of closeness that you feel. When I refer to trust I don't mean in regards to them cheating on you but trust as in wether or not to trust a person with your emotions,to become united with them emotionally. A loathe of physical closeness is almost like a fear of being vunerable and this could apply to your emotions as well as your physical body.
  23. Exactly,my ex contacted me recently,I was completely disinterested and chilled out because I had gotten over them and didnt care to revisit this period of my life.Afterwards I thought no big deal. Two days later i was back at sad square one and asking myself all the above questions.Do not contact her and let it go.
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