off meds for pregnancy.hate crowds,noise..

[Hope75]

It sounds like you have a very supportive partner, and that is important. My husband and I do not have child care assistance either so when I go back to work next week he and I will he juggling child care and working. I am a big homebody like you, I actually like being home alone, but home alone caring for a baby 24/7 can be very taxing, and is very different than just being home alone. I agree 100% that it is worth it, but it's definitely a struggle, and I'm wondering how you know you will like it if you haven't done it yet? You were saying that you were looking for opportunities to babysit and really couldn't find any.

[SayWhen]

You are only 20 years old. Regardless of how emotionally invested you may feel in your relationship and your decision to mother a child, I can't help but think you should wait just a few more years. Why not enjoy your relationship with your fiance, get married, establish yourself financially, emotionally and physically and THEN consider becoming a mother? I can't imagine that you have much stability in your life given the nature of your original post, and given your age. You say you feel lonely? There are few things more isolating than staying home with a needy infant while there are NO other mothers in your age group. You will alienate yourself from friends your age who you could have otherwise made, and who likely would make you feel less alone than a child would. I'm sorry if my post sounds like I am flaming you...but I do take a very firm stance on becoming a young mother. A firm stance against it in almost all cases. I am your age (21) and have friends who already have children and most of them suffer from not only all of the issues that come along with having a child, but also all of the issues that come along with being young and married. Often, as much as you suffer, the child will suffer even more. Also, if you are put-off by loud noises...there is nothing worse than a screaming newborn, who is hungry. Wet. Colicky. Tired. Uncomfortable. Sick. Just...NEEDY. It is a very selfless act to have a child...and to approach it with the attitude that this child will inherently give something to you just by being "yours"...well, that is a very foolish and naive view IMHO. I really do hope you wait for yourself and for your future child that you will be responsible for mothering. As much as it is your child, you are that child's mother...for life. No matter what. And there is no guarantee of unconditional love...the child may learn to hate you. Reject you. Despite everything you expect and want from him/her. Anyway, I know you will do what you will...and that is probably have a child when you should not. I hope you will think about this more.

 

Best Wishes,

 

--A.

[Notreadyet87]

I wonder how in the world you are financially stable at 21 when most people aren't even stable until their late twenties. Emotionally I also wonder how you are stable when you clearly have some anxiety issues. Please wait to have children...

[Anna.]

Man, I was 22 when I got pregnant (unplanned). I was only a little over 2 weeks pregnant when I found out. Anyway, I was on wellbutrin, lexapro, and valium. Doctor told me to go cold turkey, so I did. I had raging anxiety attacks the entire pregnancy, even after the doctor let me go back on just the wellbutrin at 5 months Right before that, I flipped out one day fighting with my bf, tried to pop out what I thought was a plexiglass window, turned out to be real glass, had to have 8 stitches (and now I have a huge scar down my forearm for the rest of my life). Anyway the doctor finally said the benefits of taking the least potentially dangerous one of my meds would probably outweigh the risks.

 

Point being: THAT SUCKED. My hormones were screwed up from pregnancy plus no meds and I hated it. I wish I could have completely adjusted to being off the meds before even thinking about getting pregnant. Everybody's different, but it sounds like you have similar issues (anxiety) and meds as I do. Can you imagine being pregnant having an anxiety attack? I had them all through my pregnancy, then I'd flip out more b/c I was scared to death I was screwing up the baby by my emotions/anxiety being out of control. Luckily, by the grace of God, we won the baby lottery on our awesome baby.

 

But even now it sucks for her to see me when I am anxious or nervous. And for someone with anxiety issues, let's say your baby is colicky, imagine your little heart and soul laying there screaming and you don't know what's wrong and can't fix it. That's enough to make anybody flip out, especially someone with anxiety issues. It's hard with a good baby, i can't imagine what it'd have been like with a colicky baby.

 

I would just suggest seriously working on your anxiety issues and making your relationship as strong as it can be before getting pregnant. I wish you all the best.