bebeblondie Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Perhaps someone (like the OP for example) should define kissing exactly. It seems to be running the whole gamut between a peck 'n cuddle right up to body fluid exchange. Wow. I think he means with tongue Link to comment
dragon lady Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Oh, I should also add that I'm not the kind of person who goes on 7 dates per week with different guys. If I did, I would not expect to kiss all of them on the first date. I haven't actually been on that many at all. I only tend to date guys I've known in some way or another beforehand. I've only been on one date where it didn't go any further. We did kiss, but it was gross. I was 15 at the time. Since then I haven't had a problem. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Oh, I should also add that I'm not the kind of person who goes on 7 dates per week with different guys. If I did, I would not expect to kiss all of them on the first date. I haven't actually been on that many at all. I only tend to date guys I've known in some way or another beforehand. I've only been on one date where it didn't go any further. We did kiss, but it was gross. I was 15 at the time. Since then I haven't had a problem. Haha, thanks for clarifying. I was starting to wonder... how many people you guys have kissed! I've gone out with countless of guys, if I kissed all of them... well, it wouldn't be so classy. Link to comment
dragon lady Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Haha, thanks for clarifying. I was starting to wonder... how many people you guys have kissed! I've gone out with countless of guys, if I kissed all of them... well, it wouldn't be so classy. Yeah, not that many. I mean, probably a lot compared to some people here, but not a huge number. Most of them were outside of dates too. Parties as teenagers and whatnot. I definitely don't serial date. I never understood that. I'll only date one at a time and put a lot of effort into making it work. It seems to be the best way for me. I certainly won't go on a date just for the hell of it. If I don't really like him, then there's no point. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Yeah, not that many. I mean, probably a lot compared to some people here, but not a huge number. Most of them were outside of dates too. Parties as teenagers and whatnot. I definitely don't serial date. I never understood that. I'll only date one at a time and put a lot of effort into making it work. It seems to be the best way for me. I certainly won't go on a date just for the hell of it. If I don't really like him, then there's no point. Me either, in normal circumstances. I serial date when I'm like really really lonely/been recently dumped. hah. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Why such a short amount of time? I think the first date ends fine with a hug, and if there is no kiss on the second, then I don't think we'd mesh in any way. I figure if he doesn't want to kiss me then, it means he's not into me, too shy, or has a low libido. None of which would make me stick around. Link to comment
FDRunner Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 I've always kissed my date on the second date if not the first. It really depends on how she acts during the date. There's always subtle signals she wants to be kissed. The woman I'm dating now I kissed on our first date, for a little while too. The women before her we kissed on our second date. One thing I've learned is women like to be "wanted", so if you like her and she likes you..kiss her! Link to comment
Knotty Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 As to the OP question: I have zero expectations. It all depends on our chemistry and our comfort level, and whatever else is in the picture. It happens when it happens. Unless the guy tries to plant one in the first 10 minutes, I generally don't really have any time constraints. But after several dates wouldn't you wonder if he liked you just as a friend? What would you do if you had the choice one evening to go on a date with this guy or someone new? Wouldn't the non-kissing guy kind of get put on the back burner after a few dates with no kissing? Link to comment
Serendipitous Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 i dont date much and i always am friends first. so always by second date and usually on the first Link to comment
PiranhaBraces101 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 My dates dont even like it if I tried to hold/touch their hands. Kissing is ofcoz... totally out of the question... I'm Chinese... Link to comment
mca1975 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 One. If there is no kiss on the second, then there won't be a third. ha ha, brilliant! Link to comment
mca1975 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 I would kiss on the first date! I might settle for a kiss on the second date, but on the third or above is way too boring! ha Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Girls, how many dates would you go on if he didn't move in for a kiss? If I really really liked him, as long as it takes. I think COtuner summed it up very well and I totally agree: "I have zero expectations. It all depends on our chemistry and our comfort level, and whatever else is in the picture. It happens when it happens." Link to comment
quirky Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 I think the first date ends fine with a hug, and if there is no kiss on the second, then I don't think we'd mesh in any way. I figure if he doesn't want to kiss me then, it means he's not into me, too shy, or has a low libido. None of which would make me stick around. I completely agree. I'd give it about 3 dates. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 if there's no kiss after the first few dates, i lose interest and/or the guy ends up friendzoned Link to comment
jonny15 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 There is no limit on how long. Link to comment
dd Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 omg you guys are amazing I never realized. I just posted and complained about going on a first date with a guy and he didn't kiss me. Usually they kiss me on the first date, yet it never works out. Is that the way it is? I love it, I will wait too..... Link to comment
GettingBetter Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Well, twice I've lost out because I didn't kiss the girl soon enough. They each gave me five dates. I was just really shy, and new to the whole dating thing. So, I resolved to kiss the girl sooner, next time. Turns out, the next girl was really shy, and was concerned that I wanted to kiss her as early as our fourth date. We talked about it, and ultimately that blossomed into my first relationship, of about six months. I think it really depends on both parties, but in a complete reversal from how I used to think, I'd say that the second or third date is a good, safe bet. (Obviously, there are exceptions.) If that's too late, then she's too fast for me. If that's too soon, then she's probably someone you can spend time reasoning with, as I did. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 Just because someone kisses their date on the first, second or third date doesn't mean it is an expression of actual interest in the person...it just means they want physical pleasure in the way of kissing. How many people go on first, second, third dates do the whole kissy kissy scene and then say "we don't have enough in common, not interested in dating you". A kiss is irrelevant and is not the ultimate barometer of interest...and no kissing right away doesn't necessarily mean the person just sees you as a friend. Some people are just not interested in swapping spit with someone until they get to know them a bit better. Link to comment
stella74 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 I agree with CAD. Kissing is no indicator of real interest. I've kissed on the first date and I've kissed after several months. It really depends on the two people involved. Link to comment
Knotty Posted June 17, 2009 Author Share Posted June 17, 2009 I was expecting more females to say they expect a kiss on the first or second date, so I'm surprised by many of the responses. After kissing I feel like I can be more open when I talk, so I don't think I could go three or more dates without kissing. I think you have to play it by ear. When things start to get a little more intimate and both people are liking each other, that's the time to move in for a kiss. I guess for some people that takes several dates. I prefer to open up with my thoughts earlier rather than later which probably increases the intimacy faster, leading to kissing. Link to comment
Case_1983 Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 I went out with a guy 8 times and he didn't as much as try to hold my hand. i kept going out with him because he said he liked me many times and would call and text me all day long, so i could see the interest was there. I am more traditional so i expect the guy to make the first move. After about the 6th date it just became awkward and the thought of him making a move didn't really interest me anymore and i started to see him as a friend. Months later, mutul friends told me he suffered from depression and was just teriified to make a move. I guess this shows, doesn't matter how interested a girl is in a guy, if you don't make a movie you will be pushed into the friend zone. Link to comment
Knotty Posted June 18, 2009 Author Share Posted June 18, 2009 I went out with a guy 8 times and he didn't as much as try to hold my hand. i kept going out with him because he said he liked me many times and would call and text me all day long, so i could see the interest was there. I am more traditional so i expect the guy to make the first move. After about the 6th date it just became awkward and the thought of him making a move didn't really interest me anymore and i started to see him as a friend. Months later, mutul friends told me he suffered from depression and was just teriified to make a move. I guess this shows, doesn't matter how interested a girl is in a guy, if you don't make a movie you will be pushed into the friend zone. I like to make a move on the second date, and wait until the fourth date to make a movie. Link to comment
ScorpiGal83 Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 4 or 5 dates? Do you date monks!? I have been going out on dates with several different guys in the last couple of months but pretty much stopped going out with the others now that I'm really into ONE of them. With this ONE guy we've been out on only ONE proper date, the rest of the time it was very casual breakfast/lunch setting or his friend(s) were present. Thing is, I live in an Asian country and people here aren't very forward sometimes, and the guy I'm seeing isn't very "Western" in that sense so I don't think kissing on the first date with him is a good idea. I'm very open-minded and stuff but you need to do things as and when they are appropriate. I don't think kissing this guy on the first date would have been appropriate, so far we've held hands and that's it, but I feel it's coming. It'll be soon. I don't go around kissing people on the first date either, but my ex, who is Australian, we pretty much kissed and slept together on the first date, LOL and ended up in a 3-year relationship. So to me it all depends on the person I'm with and the vibe I'm getting. I have a feeling with this guy I am going to have to slow down and be patient. Link to comment
ScorpiGal83 Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 I agree with CAD. Kissing is no indicator of real interest. I've kissed on the first date and I've kissed after several months. It really depends on the two people involved. On the contrary, I couldn't possibly kiss someone I wasn't interested in. That's how it's always been. All the guys I've kissed, I've been interested in. If not - eww! Yuck. Link to comment
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