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mca1975

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Everything posted by mca1975

  1. I miss you for some parts of the day, but I still know I made the right decision in leaving you and I know I will be happier for it once I get over this initial loneliness.
  2. I would like to say that I don't know if I can forgive you for not being there for me after we lost the baby and how you were so selfish and just tended to your own needs, never cared about my long journey to work and how tired I was. How you would get so frustrated about my driving skills and make me upset about it. How you were so in love with me and could never even think of hurting me, but you did. And after everything I have been through in my life..... I never expected it from you. Will miss the person I thought you were.
  3. err I LOVE it when my boyfriend gets a boner when we're making out!! why wouldn't you!!? lol.
  4. It's coming again to wash over me to fill the cracks to remind me that you're no longer there the sweet gush of air that follows delivers a release, a calmness to remind me that I am still here the sound of children playing stirs my soul filling it with hope to remind me that other people are still here Now that's hope btw, this is my FIRST EVER POEM, (i know its crap, lol) Just thought I would give it a go!
  5. yes its slightly depressing, but I love your profile pic!
  6. This is a good thread (though its kinda old)... I too have been wondering about this question, as have been seeing a guy for over 4 months now though he will not 'say' he is in a relationship with me. We dont see each other loads, we have our own lives, but when we meet up we have such a lovely time and get on very well. We act like a couple when we are together, and he refers to us as "we" when talking to other people. I think he enjoys that feeling. We speak on the phone obviously in between those times that we see each other. I think its the word 'relationship' that scares him and to be honest it does me a little, lol. We have tried leaving it because I used to push for it and wasnt happy, but he always came back. Now im getting kinda cool with it, with the 'unlabelling' I mean. I have always been used to being all consumed by my "boyfriends" and vying to spend every minute with them, so Im really learning from this. He gets jealous about other guys and I do too about other women, so maybe we are kind of exclusive but without saying it? Who knows. All I know is, is that if it so happens that I find out or hear that he has/is seeing someone else, then I would not see him again.
  7. To knigt007, you have a negative outlook. Now I dont know what you look like, but I know plenty of guys out there that are no oil painting and some who are almost bordering on ugly, but their personality and positivity and charm attracts the most beautiful women!!! believe that because its true! what does that tell you??????
  8. hi there, right decisions are always the hardest to get over. its the detachment thing, it hurts so much not having it and geting used to not having it. erikA., i too had to end my relationship six months ago and i missed him so badly, i would ache. but i couldnt be with him any longer, but i missed the company, the touch, the cuddles, the sex all of that stuff.
  9. what i have learnt (especially from my last one) is dont ignore red flags/signs that dont feel right. Trust your own judgement and act upon them accordingly, do not push them to the back of your mind or think that you are just being silly, cause usually you're not being silly at all. you are ignoring your natural intuition
  10. i get you grandmaster. i too was really into him and would get very jealous but he was way more controlling than I was.
  11. when you break up with someone, its hard, but no contact is the only way. obviously there will be some discussion at the time of the break up, but you do have to leave each other alone. hard I know. as you were controlling, i suspect that she may have been a bit fearful of you and she is young, so maybe that is why she called the cops. dont blame her for it.
  12. hi grandmasterpa Can we talk further as I have just come out of a relationship where my ex was controlling and I wondered if I could ask you some questions to get a different take on it? thanks
  13. yes, i agree. if you were controlling, then this probably made her feel suffocated and she wanted out. its not a very nice feeling to make someone feel controlled and under pressure, in fact, its horrible, and it puts someone under immense pressure and guilt, but at the same time, i can understand why people are controlling and its something that is very hard not to do when you feel so insecure, which needs therapy to get over. this girl is obviously young and she probably misses you in some ways, but doesnt miss the way the relationship was, thats why she is probably texting you and making contact. but yes, no contact is the way forward. good luck
  14. you are worrying over nothing. she was defending you and so what if she thinks youre not that hot. not everyones boyfriends are hot. but she thinks you are the sweetest guy ever, which is a much better compliment that anything to do with looks. You are worrying over nothing, unless you are insecure about your looks anyway. she probably only said it as she kind of worries what other people think a little bit thats all. x
  15. no you dont have much to complain about really, at least you have friends. your just growing up i guess and everything seems like a big problem when it isnt really. cheer up and enjoy everything and stop moaning x
  16. hi there, help is here. i am going through this at the moment!!! i was with mine for six months and I ended it as he was very jealous and controlling and I was under such a strain in the relationship, I couldnt take it any more. He took break up real bad and was obsessive about getting me back and he also was trying to get my self confidence down so I wouldnt leave him. Now i have had 8 days no contact and I know how hard it is as you miss the good things about the relationship. I have tried to make a list of all the bad things that I dont miss. put it up on your wall! Please reply, I am on line now mca1975 x
  17. erm hello, its wrong for you to go out with a 12-year old. its taking advantage of someone younger than even yourself. stop it.
  18. hi there, its normal to rationalize and try and figure out what went wrong. it sounds to me to be honest that you two are just not right for each other if you spent so much time struggling to make it work. I too did that for an entire six months and since I have come out of my relationship, I can see it (after two weeks only of emotional distance) what was wrong and it was that he was very controlling and needy and I felt smothered but I stayed in it because he gave me so much love and I had a need in me for that. its hard to resist to try and get back, but you should definitely wait and see if she wants you back and comes to you. if you try and get her back and succeed, how will you know if she is coming back out of just feeling sorry for you?
  19. hi there, thanks for replying. every day that goes by is getting a little better but I still have low moments where I cant stop thinking of all the things he has said and done that I believed, but now appear to have been a lie; a manipulation. thats what hurts the most. I dont miss him anymore, I dont want contact with him, it just hurts with the realisation, a new realisation every day, of "so that why he said that?" or "so thats why he did that?" it hurts a lot as I really believed he loved me for me.
  20. I have just come out of a controlling relationship, controlled with a sense of fear and guilt, but not violence. I was in it for six months. All the signs were there, I tried to ignore them and tried to leave it three times, but every time I spoke with him afterwards, he talked me into coming back and that there was nothing to be scared of. The relationship consisted of him investigating me totally emotionally and working on my weak points, gaining social acceptance through being with me, irrational jealousy about any close relationship I have and blaming me and everything I felt on my problems, instead of his own. It’s been a month since I have been out of it and I am finding it hard to move on as I still feel he has a control over me. I have made the mistake of keeping in contact with him after the split, in which he has displayed obsessive behaviour, and he is still inside my head. I feel left with no confidence. I can only see now that I am out of it what he was doing and how he was working on me and I feel so stupid for letting it happen. I believed everything he told me and now it all seems like one big lie. I don’t trust anything that he has ever said to me. I would really appreciate any input from anyone in the same boat, thanks
  21. i dont think you should go there, if it didnt work the first time why would it work again, you may be a bit older and wiser now I guess..?? definitely just let him come to you, do not chase him whatever you do! be relaxed. but if you are not relaxed, and you clearly arent, how are you going to relax if you do get with him? would you not be worrying all the time about if he was going to finish with you again? be careful
  22. i just came back and read my own post, and it dawned on me! am i being selfish again by "letting" him have this contact with me? i think i am. he is feeling way more hurt than i am and is suffering much more than me. it must be painful of him to have contact with me but he cant help himself. he has said this. I have tried to tell him that he is hurting himself more by contacting me, but I suppose I should put my foot down and tell him no for his own good. its just that I feel so bad for hurting him and feel worried for him and he tells me he has no one to turn to but his obsessive behaviour is making me feel a little threatened and fearful but at the same time,I just want to help him. I have never been in this position before, i am usually the dumped one and I know how much it hurts. any conversation from this with "agraj" would be appreciated. i would love to talk to you about this as its really bothering me and im even suffering panic attacks from this situation thanks!
  23. hi, im so glad to have found this forum. i broke up with my ex a month ago and for this whole time we have only had one week without any contact. He is taking it very badly. I knew he would as he has obsession problems and he was too possessive in the relationship. I feel so sorry for him and I care, but he is trying to get back with me all the time and is manipulating my weak points and I am falling for it all the time. i need to stay away from any contact, but when he calls I give in and answer out of guilt and pity. he doesnt have many close friends you see to turn to but its all killing me and doing me no good. He is in agony over it, it seems, but then when he finally gets angry at me not agreeing to "try again", he comes out with some very nasty comments that hurt me so much. This makes me shocked and angry a little as all I am doing is thinking of his feelings and trying to help him get over it. I know now that he is manipulating me to try and get me back and I have to stand up to him and ignore his texts/calls.
  24. i totally agree with that. this happened in my relationship of six months which i have just ended. i feel so sad about it that it didnt work, but i found that I would find things annoying after a while etc. i think if you really love someone, then yes you get annoyed with them, but you never get really irritated by them.
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