The BellaDonna, Get off Your Ass Journal

[BellaDonna]

Sore, sore, sore, sore, sore, sore, sore, sore......didn I mention SORE?

 

Ouch. That's what I get for letting my muscles atrophy when I didn't go to the gym I guess.

 

I have to say, knowing I busted my butt last night working out makes it easier to stay on track with good eating today. I don't like doing hard work for nothin'.

[Applewhite]

My GOD Bella - that is SOME workout! I could never measure up to that!!!!!!!!

[Applewhite]

I hope that is not your regular workout or I am going to start hating you since I can't keep up with that

[BellaDonna]

No- that is not my regular workout. That was my "Get off your lazy ass and stop making excuses" workout because I had neglected myself for so long and I felt I needed to re-awaken every muscle. But usually I will do the 30 minutes of the cardio (swimming, ellipitical OR crossramp) abs & stretching and then do some weight training -upper OR lower body. My usual gym workout is only an hour.

[sidehop]

BellaDonnaMachine

[BellaDonna]

The machine is malfunctioning. lol

 

I don't know what kind of contorted posture I must have slept in but my neck is stuck and I can't turn it to the left. I didn't do much today but grovel in pain. I did stretch and eat well at least. Stress made my neck hurt even more after having a heart-breaking experience at work. The thought of a particular student will keep me up at night. She has no heat, no hot water, lives in a slum. She is being abused and financially exploited by a drug addict BF, and she was a recent victim of rape from another person. The world can be cruel for anyone, but a disabled individual faces even more barriers and exploitation from the vultures of the earth. I put things in place to help her as best I could: appointments with SSI, Section 8 housing, heating assistance, food stamp application, violence hotlines, a doctor's appointment, communication with other colleagues who can provide direct service. But none of those things are quick. She has no heat tonight.

 

My own problems in life are so small.

[SWEET_J]

UGH...that neck pain is the worst!!! All you can do really is wait it out and try to massage it.

Sorry to hear about the girl yu are trying to help..but she is lucky there are people out there like you

who care enough to try and help her as much as you can. The holidays tend to make these things

even more 'glaring'....and I agree.. compared to things like this, our 'problems' truly are insignificant!!

[sidehop]

That's terrible to hear about this individual

 

I hope your neck feels better! One good thing during winter is hot bath, it seem to fix all sorts of aches and pains...and if you can actually get 30 minutes to yourself lol.

[BellaDonna]

I'm off to a short overnight trip to a very relaxing place....with lots of good food. yay

[metrogirl]

It's people like you Bella that help to make this a better world to live in. I hope she is able to benefit from some of the help that you have given her.

[BellaDonna]

Don't really know what else to write here besides:

 

THOROUGHLY EXHAUSTED

[SWEET_J]

I hear ya Bella...it is tough this time of year!

 

There is nothing wrong with taking a week off from training to recuperate. It would actually

benefit you more probably. My only suggestion would be to not wait longer than that. It's so hard to start over again after your muscles have atrophied.

So....why not just take a full week off from anything to do with the gym or working out

and recharge. Just a suggestion..

[BellaDonna]

I'm still exhausted. My stress level has decreased though because my little boy started preschool and he LOVES it. He never shed a tear and when I pick him up he doesn't even want to go home. All he does is talk about his teachers and friends and sing songs from school. It is adorable. I was so worried that he might have a hard time adjusting but he is doing excellent. (I was basing that in how hard it was for him to adjust to the childcare center at the gym). He is so thrilled with school tha the asked to go on the weekend! lol So I feel really good about that and the weight of the world has lifted from my shoulders.

 

I have been eating pretty well and I have been getting to the gym about twice a week- mostly going in the pool- nothing hardcore. I have been using swimming as exercise and stree relief and not doing anything too intense right now. I am going to start a new structured plan in January. I have so much going on right now with work and holiday planning that December is a wash out!

[metrogirl]

Isn't great when they love school? There is this one little girl in my grandson's preschool class that cries when she is dropped off, cries when it is time to eat, cries when she is picked up and my grandson is just the opposite, he loves going to school.

 

Everyday I ask him "what did you do at school Aidan"? and the first thing he tells me is "eat food". LOL

 

I'm really glad I read your post today. I was feeling the same way about the gym thing. I want to go, I'm feeling it more now than I had been but it seems my schedule is so busy and then I thought I should just wait until January but that seemed more like a new years resolution which I don't believe in and so I became frustrated all over again.

 

I think the best thing any of us can do is just get through the rest of this month and start fresh in January. New Year, new you and hopefully the majority of us that were regular posters about our healthy eating and gym habits will be back to posting again in 2011.

[BellaDonna]

We will definintely get back to our more usual health-conscious selves in January. In the big scheme of life one month (December) is not enough to throw us off. In January we will have a new year....and the thought of summer swimsuits will be looming in the background. It will get our butts on track!!!

 

I'll be taking a new "before" pic on January 1st..... I'm sure that will motivate me lol

[metrogirl]

Well I can take a before pic but it will NEVER be posted! LOL Hopefully I won't die of self ridicule when I see it.

[BellaDonna]

Mine would never be posted either. lol I just need it to motivate me. I don't need to share my nightmare photo with others though. lol

[BellaDonna]

I am really looking forward to the new year and healthier eating. It will be easier when there aren't so many homemade baked goods around at work. Everyone is bringing in their cookies and even fudge! It is so hard to say no to fudge.

 

I'm still exhausted. I feel irritable and tired often and I know that getting to the gym more often and eating better will help me get out of my rut.

 

December has been an extremly stressful and busy month for me so far. It's starting to wind down though. All of my holiday stuff is done and I have some time off from work coming up. Though being home is not vacation since there is always something to do around the house....neverending laundry, constant messes, general cleaning, etc.

 

If I didn't have to pay an arm and a leg for preschool costs, I would re-hire a maid. When I had a maid my life was much less stressful and I could enjpy my time at home. grrr Much of my feelings of contentment or discord are directly related to what surrounds me in an environment physically. I wish my standard of clean was more relaxed to accommodate the habits of a Type B husband and a toddler. The mere sight of things thrown around the house is enough to make me crazy. The noise level is also hard to take at times too. I feel like my house is like a crowded circus sometimes. As I mentioned, my irritability level is at it's peak. Exercise helps me so much because it is a time that is just for ME- to do something for myself and just THINK and focus on something. It really allows an outlet for introversion. I need that time to re-group. When I don't have it I am a mess.

 

I have decided to do some things differently this year to make my holidays more relaxing. For example, in prior years an in-law who I never see always decides to come over CHRISTMAS MORNING with a video camera and makes a big "to do" about whatever they buy my son. They use my house as a pit stop and hang around and overstay and require being entertained, making it chaotic for me to get ready for my Christmas dinner, etc. They see my son once or twice a year at most (their choice)- which is why they feel the need to tape his every move and make a big "to do" about the visit.. The whole situation is obnoxious. (I know it sounds mean but the best gift would be if they DIDN'T come over!!!! lol) So this year we decided we will make plans before Christmas to see this relative so that we don't have to have the invasive 3 hour visit on Christmas morning with the video camera in our faces. I just decided I wasn't doing it this year. I'm tired of the invasion. If they want to see my son they can do so throughout the year, they don't need to overcompensate on Christmas Morning and pretend they are part of his life. I'm not rushing around or being late for dinner one more year on account of them. I'm done. lol This Christmas Morning is going to be enjoyable and normal, and my husband and I are going to enjoy our son and each other and sit by the fire -not rush around preparing for a dreaded visit that never ends.

 

In January I will go back to taking my frustrations out by pumping iron at the gym. It REALLY helps burn off some steam.

[sidehop]

Yikes, there's always that family member(s) that you want to stay away from; in my case it's the mother-in-law. The less contact the better with these people it seems. Only 10 more days until this year is over Hope you get some time off and relax a bit!

[SWEET_J]

Good for you Bella for making this firm decision!!! I don't blame you, that kind of stuff really annoys me too. Some people are just clueless!

[BellaDonna]

These are the same visitors that tortured me while I was in the hospital after a c-section. I was trying to rest, bond with my child, and recover from surgery. I couldn't leave my hospital room. I was like a sitting duck. One time they stayed in my hospital room for over SIX HOURS. I don't know why the Hell I didn't speak up- I was in a haze from medication and hormones, I was overwhelmed with a new baby and not thinking clearly I guess. But they freaking sat there and talked and watched me eat 2 separate hospital meals, in my bed for 6 hours- they talked while I was trying to sleep. They never shut up. They passed my kid around like a hot potato. They felt entitled because they brought a "gift" -just like on Christmas. In hindsight I or my husband should have told them to screw. I swear that "visit" changed me indefinitely and started me out on a really bad foot. That was the first day I became tearful and felt like my life wasn't mine and I lost control as a new mother. It's the first day I can recall postpartum depression setting in. I just felt like I "snapped". At one point I hobbled into the bathroom and cried and prayed to God that they would just freaking LEAVE!!!! . I've never quite fully gotten over that whole nightmare.

 

Ever since then, on the rare event I see them I dread it. When they come over on Christmas Morning and overstay their welcome and inconvenience my life it brings back that horrible memory from the hospital, and feelings of absolute hatred toward them that I am embarrassed to even have. This year my boundaries are clear. I'm just not doing it. I'm not haign another Christmas ruined by them.

[sidehop]

Wow That's horrible! You're too nice like my wife though but know when enough is enough. Ugh I hope you really don't have to see them around. Part of me thinks they won't get it! I can totally relate because of our mother in law...she won't leave us alone EVERYDAY.

[BellaDonna]

Note to self: Don't ever, ever, ever eat food from a "holiday potluck" at work again. It will cost you 48 hours of your life you can never have back dealing with the wonders of food poisoning.

 

One of my other friends at work had the same fate- we have narrowed it down to the "spanish rice" someone made. It was the one food we both ate from the potluck. -More like UNlucky!

[sophie274]

Note to self: Don't ever, ever, ever eat food from a "holiday potluck" at work again. It will cost you 48 hours of your life you can never have back dealing with the wonders of food poisoning.

 

One of my other friends at work had the same fate- we have narrowed it down to the "spanish rice" someone made. It was the one food we both ate from the potluck. -More like UNlucky!

 

Oh no Bella. Hugs. Food poisoning is the worst, it's just awful and you feel so helpless against the endless ... ways your body has of getting rid of things. That person should be banned from future potlucks!

 

Are you feeling better now? I hope so.

[sidehop]

Oh that sucks Sorry to hear that! Hope you feel better soon.