THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[xmen777]

Day 4 of 2nd attempt. Still nothing from her.

 

I'm bouncing between accepting the fact that it's over and that there might be a chance.

Somebody told me if you're used to being independent, it's hard to get married with someone. Well I'm not one to like being alone so much.

I love the company of a special person who means the world to you.

[skheehee]

End of Day 18

 

Today went by really fast. I'm surprised at how much more I was able to achieve now that I'm whole again, that I am my own man. I've been talking to myself a lot nowadays, convincing myself that this has really happened and I can't do anything about it.

 

I think I am beginning to experience what Blondie176 is going through right now. The acceptance of the break up and letting her go. As much as I love her, I dont think we are for each other as of now. Maybe in the future, but the future holds possibilities which are endless.

[NjoyStick]

Day 32 or 48, whatever it is.

 

Talked about her with my mom and she told me that people like her force things like love and it's true, that's why she jumped into this new relationship so fast with someone who's far from compatible, i stopped hoping for her return, it may happen in the future or so but i'm not gonna wait for that and neither should some of you here, we have to face that fact our ex is gone, with or without a clear reason.

 

It hurts, ofcourse it does, we are only human.

Some here are still hoping that the ex will return, stop doing that... Please, really stop it, what's the point?

Keep your hopes up and in time they will probaly be shattered anyway, the chances of an ex returning are not that big and if it does happen it will in the far future (1,5/2 years atleast).

 

Hoping will keep your spirit up, but only for the reason to get back to your ex, what if your ex doesn't come back?

Then you have wasted months or even years of your life and in that time you could have met the one you were supposed to share your life with, our exes still seem pretty wonderful and amazing in our eyes but they are far from it, they walked away, they broke your heart, just forgive the person for their hurtful ways and try to move on.

 

The thoughts of your ex won't leave your mind for a while but they will get less and less until you just don't bother anymore but if you keep hoping for a return then the healing proces will stop until you realise you have to move on, there is only one chance of reconsiliation and that's when you have moved on.

 

Hoping for an ex to return won't get them back to you, far from it.

 

Heal, move on, meet new people like i did, i still think about her from time to time but i know what she did to me, i know how she just walked away and never looked back, hoping for her return won't get her back, it will only hurt my healing, so i stopped hoping, started thinking about the negatives.

 

It's your life now and not theirs, what they are doing with their lifes is up to them and not up to you.

 

So in a nuttshell, grab the things you got from your ex, burn them, get the hell out of the house ,meet up with friends, have a wonderful time, meet new people and have fun with new dates.

[g3m1nn1]

Njoy, hard truth, but you certainly got a good point there.

 

Day 3, 2nd attempt

 

Nothing special, I am taking a break from writing each day, as it seems to only give temporary relief for now, so i am trying to do as much as I can on other areas of my life.

I have read a thread "Nonchalance is your friend"

and there certainly is a lot of good advice there, so I am trying to go with that now. Like I said previously I am tired of thinking, wishing, worrying and so on, so I am doing everything I can to be calm and go on.

We will see how that turns out. let's go.

[Blondie176]

Excellent post Njoy

 

 

Day 23

 

Its been glorious weather wise today so i took the dog out for a lovely walk in the countryside. I was alone, with the dog and i felt good. Spoke to a few other dog owners along the way who were also alone. Being alone isnt so bad.

 

As for the ex, i have nothing new to say really, he is still in my mind but its less than before, i am seeing him in a different light now. I think at first i sugar coated all the issues, thinking that i would take him back in a heartbeat, flaws and all. But would i? Actually no i wouldnt!

 

I just want to add for any people reading who are in the early days that even though i am at day 23, this is my third attempt at NC.. all in all its been nearly 8 weeks since the final break down. I just dont want to give false hope to people thinking that 23 days will be a healing point. Its been a long road and it isnt over yet for me. I am fully expecting that 30 days will not be enough for me to heal, but i can guarantee myself and anyone else starting out or already on the NC road that time will move you on and that there is no magic number when it comes to mending a broken heart, everyone takes their own road and travels along it at their own pace.

 

xxx

[LetsGetReal]

Excellent post Njoy

 

 

Day 23

 

Its been glorious weather wise today so i took the dog out for a lovely walk in the countryside. I was alone, with the dog and i felt good. Spoke to a few other dog owners along the way who were also alone. Being alone isnt so bad.

 

 

Thats exactly what I do when I start to think about my ex, get the dog and get outside in the fresh air, and talk to EVERYBODY lol.

 

Takes my mind right off it

[tness]

Thats exactly what I do when I start to think about my ex, get the dog and get outside in the fresh air, and talk to EVERYBODY lol.

 

Takes my mind right off it

 

I have thought of getting a dog. I love dogs. But it's much responsible for a lonly guy like me.

 

What kind of dog do you have?

[NjoyStick]

Animals are a good way of communicating to other owners =D it's true ^^

 

I hope you all are doing well, you are all f*cking awesome, don't forget that!

 

Heartbreak is just one of the ways to grow up even more and become stronger!

[tness]

Heartbreak is just one of the ways to grow up even more and become stronger!

 

I'm 39, and I don't want to grow any more

 

[LetsGetReal]

I'm 39, and I don't want to grow any more

 

 

haha, fair point

 

I have a Jack Russell mate, and she's hyperrrrr!

[NjoyStick]

Haha point made tness, i know heartbreak is every age but i meant for the people who are going through it at a young age and going through it for the first time and ofcourse your situation is just as tough as all of us!

[skheehee]

I was thinking of getting a cat from the animal shelter, but then again, the ex loves cats. So I stopped myself. Maybe I should just get a bulldog? Hm... But she likes those too. Seriously, a lot things that I go through everyday remind me of her, and it saddens me and makes me mad at the same time!

[Pleasedonot5]

Day 4/5, attempt three

 

On day 4, saw my ex and a few of her friends at a party that I threw for a little bit, and that went well. She left because she just had foot surgery and her foot was hurting her or something (or she didn't want to be there, but the party was a blast imo). After she left, the girl that I went on a date with on day three and I held hands towards the end. I think I have a small crush, but I'ma take it slow c:

 

On day 5, my ex tried in two ways to contact me. She texted me saying, "Thanks for inviting me to the party, I had a lot of fun. (: I'm sorry we had to leave so early though... stupid foot problems lol To which I responded, "You're welcome, and I'm glad you had fun(: I hope your foot heals soon!" She replied, "Why thank you! ( and I didn't respond to that one. Later, she sent me a poke on facebook, to which I'm not poking her back. Muahahaha I feel some power coming back and it feels good. If she does want me back, I'm sorry to say this but she's running out of time. This girl that has been hitting on me is scoring some major points in my book. That said, I still do feel some pain when I think about my ex, but I'm thinking about her in a painful way less and less. It's usually when I'm made sad through external circumstances. NC after saying everything I needed to say works wonders.

[Pleasedonot5]

Day 5, continued

 

I checked my ex's facebook, and she posted the song "Want U Back" followed by a status two hours later saying "i need to stop screwing things up." Definitely a power shift here. I feel it. I'm very confused, but at least I don't feel much pain anymore. I'm going to keep moving on if she doesn't really make an effort to work things out, and if we talk about reconciliation, I'm going to tell her what she needs to work on if she wants to get back together with me. Things with this new girl are going pretty well though. My ex is kinda running out of time, it seems like. Beginning to move on really does have an effect on her emotions. This site really has helped me.

 

I'll keep everyone updated on this situation!

[tness]

NC day 54-55-56 I'm not sure

At work. The fact that she's probably just 50 yards from me atm, its killing me.

But I will never in my life text her, call her, email her. Nothing.....

[Blondie176]

Day 24

 

I cannot believe i have got this far to be honest, the early days were unbearable and i really thought i would cave and call him, message him or something but i havent. Yay! He also hasnt contacted me at all, says it all really doesnt it?

 

We have become strangers in just a short time, gone from being each others everything to nothing. Its such a strange feeling to go from knowing someone inside and out to feeling like you dont know them at all, just someone you knew once. I find that rather sad really.

 

I still wish he would call, but i am not sure why? I guess so i dont feel forgotten, being forgotten sucks balls. lol

 

Anyway onward we go.. tomorrow is another day. xxx

[Blondie176]

NC day 54-55-56 I'm not sure

At work. The fact that she's probably just 50 yards from me atm, its killing me.

But I will never in my life text her, call her, email her. Nothing.....

That must be hard, working together.. ouch! xxx

[tness]

That must be hard, working together.. ouch! xxx

We are not working togheter thank god for that, but we both work at the same hospital, I can see from my office window where she work.

The whole situation is just terrible.

But I'm sticking to NC.

 

You are doing good..

[g3m1nn1]

Day 4.

 

Last two days it seems like nothing is chsnged, i dont know. But i have a feeling the BU was last weeks. I mean, i do stuff and all, but somehow a thought of her is present at least in the back of my mind and it pops out every so often. What the heck am i doing wrong? Retorical question i guess.

 

Blondie, It is sad how certain moments change evrrything, especially dinamics of our actions. What once was normal, like calling without a particular reason, would now look like a desperate action. I dont know...

[skheehee]

Day 24

 

I cannot believe i have got this far to be honest, the early days were unbearable and i really thought i would cave and call him, message him or something but i havent. Yay! He also hasnt contacted me at all, says it all really doesnt it?

 

We have become strangers in just a short time, gone from being each others everything to nothing. Its such a strange feeling to go from knowing someone inside and out to feeling like you dont know them at all, just someone you knew once. I find that rather sad really.

 

I still wish he would call, but i am not sure why? I guess so i dont feel forgotten, being forgotten sucks balls. lol

 

Anyway onward we go.. tomorrow is another day. xxx

 

I find it sad too. Don't you just hate it when you're doing seemingly fine for the day when all of a sudden, your mind drifts back to him/her and all the good times you had with them? Complete strangers we are now, and I guess, we have to accept the fact that it's really over.

 

 

Looking on the bright side though, what goes around comes around, and a brighter lies ahead of us.

[skheehee]

End of Day 19

 

My mind kept wandering during those times when I was sitting idle and doing nothing. To thoughts of her, and the happy moments. Well, I'd keep it at that. I'd just picture her happy beside me, in my head, and that is enough for me. I do not need her, and my life does not revolve around her, but I do love those times when she smiled or laughed. I do no need her physical presence anymore.

 

She is 'with' me all the time, and I'm content just the way it is now.

[NjoyStick]

Day 33 i think, i'm not really counting anymore, life is going great.

 

Had a wonderful day at the lake with alot of friends today, good thing we didn't have any mutual friends haha!

 

Tomorrow to the lake again and the day after tomorrow probaly again =P

Thursday the new Batman movie with my buddy Mark!

 

A friend of my told me he got dumped a while ago for someone else to and he didn't care anymore, he just loves his single life so that's awesome to hear.

 

I decided to go back to school to become a nurse, don't know when i will start but i will =D

 

Life is going great right now and i hope it continues this way!

[Karianne]

Feeling relatively calm. It's been 26 days since I last saw/heard from you. Maybe you read my blog still, maybe you don't. But I left you a short and sweet message. No more turning back now. It feels good getting ME back, and becoming the best me I can be without anything holding me back. I guess I have you to thank.

[Pleasedonot5]

Day 6, attempt 3

 

My ex contacted me today at about 7 P.M. while I was at XC practice. My responses shouldn't count against me in the challenge because it was reconciliation talk that she initiated. She texted me saying,

 

"Hi ___... I'm sorry to keep dragging this thing out but I need to let you know how I'm feeling, just so we're clear. Nothing really has changed but I just want to remind you that I still love you and I miss you more than anything. Although I will be gone for the next few weeks I really believe that we may be able to work things out when I get home or something. But if you would rather move on or something else then do what is best (: most of all I just want you to be happy and I wanted to reassure you how I was feeing (: thank you for your time!"

 

I responded,

 

"From my point of view, it really looks like you're confused with your feelings. I really do appreciate you telling me what you've been feeling (because that was lacking towards the end of our relationship; please continue to be honest with me) but please understand that I'm not going to try to wait for someone that doesn't really want to be with me."

 

Then she said she understood, she may be confused from seeing me at the party I threw, and repeatedly apologized for texting me. I said that it was fine and gave her advice to write her feelings down and see if they changed in the next few days. I also told her that men won't know the way she's feeling unless she tells them. She joked around about how she was bad at that and said she'd take my advice, and I teased telling her it was something she needed to work on. I then said I hoped her confusion cleared up, and she said, "Thanks, I hope it clears up as well more than anything (

 

So basically if it's not clear she seems to want to reconcile but is having a hard time saying it.

 

I've been feeling good lately though, moving on, and going on some dates with this one girl and it's going pretty well. 've also been getting a lot of compliments about my body (I've been working out more), which is always nice. I'm simply more confused now than hurt... which is better than before I suppose. We'll see how this all plays out.

[gotanewbeat]

day three

 

this is the longest we've gone without communicating in some way since we started seeing each other (with the exception of the times we've been out of the country or whatever). i'm actually really lonely, and it's bothering me because for so many weeks i resented him so much for how he constantly flirted with me when things ended... dont get me wrong, it was brutal and it really sucked, but in a way this sucks more. ugh.

the good news is, i've removed myself from every social media site i was on so there is literally no way he can find out about me without being in direct contact with me. i've tried so many times to do this in the past, for other reasons, but somehow this is working. i have absolutely no interest in sharing my life with him right now, if he's really that curious he'll ask. plus i've been keeping myself super busy, which is nice. it takes my mind off of things and i'm doing really productive things with my life right now.

 

however i still find myself thinking, thinking, thinking. remembering all the good things, even the bad at times... and the good outweighed the bad so much that i am still confused as to what happened. maybe i'm in denial about something, who knows. either way, i think that's something that goes away with time... at least i hope it does.

 

i had a dream about him saturday