THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Chinafish]

Day 2

 

Feel rotten of course. Bit upset that he hasn't contacted me (even though I asked him not to lol) but then I'd only have the old 'want to be mature and reply' torment to deal with.

 

GOOd luck all.....'til tomorrow

[ThMay]

I was broken up with four months ago after four years, and my lack of contact restarted on July 18th. I feel surprisingly okay, but only because I had met a girl that briefly took my mind off of my ex. Oddly enough, I don't feel anxious anymore, although I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still thinking about her.

[xmen777]

Day 7 / Third round - other post.

I realise I still need the closure. Part of me still wants and loves my ex - whether it's a good or bad thing, that's how that part feels.

Even though the rest of me is thinking about seeing others, I'm not in a hurry to rush things. Got to see if I meet my ex first.

[mantas3z]

Day 1

I feel like i was always the one who was going to hurt her, after two years being together she has to go off to college 25 hours away. She always promised me she will try her hardest to make things work and pull through for me and i believed her. 3 weeks into our long distance she up and out of nowhere lost all feelings for me, we had a small fight prior but it definitely could not have contributed to her escalating to the level of having no feelings for me. She started showing me she doesnt love me 3 days ago. And i cannot believe it. I tried desperately for the last two days calling her, skyping her, texting her. But she is so so cold. We talked as friends and she says she can't do it anymore because she feels like im always trying to get back together and she doesn't want that. I did nothing wrong to her for her to have no feelings at all so soon in a two year relationship. There may be another guy is the only thing im thinking makes sense, but shes not even one to do something like that. I think all i can do at this point is NC and hope and pray she realizes she still loves me.. she comes back to town in 11 days.. i don't know what to do when that time comes. We lost our virginities to one another, we have so many amazing times and reading letters she wrote me just a month ago kill me that it can all go away so fast. Just hoping and praying for the best.

[Neil123]

Day 1 & 2 - (10 days overall)

 

The last 2 days have been ok. Considering it's so early, I feel like i'm handling it pretty well. I've already got everything planned out for me for the future so it's just pulling through.

 

Spent the last two days gyming and hanging with friends. It's generally been ok but she's snuck into my thoughts whenever I get a spare second. I'm ok for now, but i'm concerned as slowly i'm going from 'working on myself for a few months' to 'working on myself for a few months and then hoping we'll end up together again'. My friend says that's natural, is it? I'm just concerned that i'm delaying the real heartbreak until those few months are over.

[Roundabout]

Holy Cow, I'd rather run a marathon than do this.

 

Today was day 8 of NC after she got the remainder of her belongings... she had to drop off rent check and pick up a few plants I'd given her and at first it felt pretty normal. Both engaging in small talk, then she was ready to go and I told her that I wasn't sure where she was at with the whole breakup (1mon old) but if it was easier she could just mail me the checks instead and I didn't really get a response besides "ok." I could see through her sunglasses she teared up slightly (she was dumper) and I just turned around and walked away. That right there was the hardest part. An unbelieveable amount of built up emotions, I was ready to cry but held it in... then let it go once I was back inside. Without great explanation I will say we had a better relationship than 99% of the people on here that I've read about, making it all the more harder to move on knowing we are both still getting over the split.

 

 

"When life gives you lemons I push them aside and grab a stiff drink, then garnish with those lemons and try to move on one sip at a time"

[Pleasedonot5]

Pleasedonot5, if she dumped you then she is the one with the problem, not you so it has to be on your terms or it won't work the second way cause she will do it again!

 

Thank you for your words -- I needed that for motivation.

 

What you said is true and what I'm thinking -- I don't want it to happen again. I'm afraid it will. My recent post in the "Post here instead of contacting your ex ( )" thread highlights my insecurities perfectly. These feelings may be because I have had two reconciliations in the past with other girls that ended for the same reasons all over again, and I don't want that to happen. Getting back together isn't the hard part now, but keeping things together will be. It may be out of place here on this thread, but I feel like I've been climbing this recovery mountain with all of you, so I feel a sense of brotherhood. Does anyone have any advice towards successfully completing a reconciliation and keeping things together afterwards? If so, that would be greatly appreciated.

 

There are some things I want her to work on before we get back together, like her "committment issues," her honesty and upfrontness about her feelings, and her friends (she's close friends with my ex ex now, and my ex ex tried to screw everything up for me post-BU, so I kind of don't want my ex to be close friends with her, but I don't know how to say this without it backfiring.). We're hanging out Thursday when we're going to talk about all of this, so I have a little breathing room to think.

[mickydrip]

hey there njoy and xmen good to see you guys are still here. hope things are working out for you two. ive had a very interesting time since ive been here things have gone up and down and up and down and now im kinda at a situation where i hope i wasnt too late but now ive realised i know what i want to do just not sure how or when to do it and blehhh still not 100% on what shes thinking but yeah

[xmen777]

hey there njoy and xmen good to see you guys are still here. hope things are working out for you two. ive had a very interesting time since ive been here things have gone up and down and up and down and now im kinda at a situation where i hope i wasnt too late but now ive realised i know what i want to do just not sure how or when to do it and blehhh still not 100% on what shes thinking but yeah

 

I'm feeling ok, not sad at all. I do feel like I have choices now. I've had a great time lately too and met some good women too.

But I still would like to see if something could be restarted, if I run into my ex. And the ways we used to run into each other before we started dating, that was so unusual and highly unlikely... oh well.

[skheehee]

End of Day 27

 

Today was just another day. I've been keeping myself busy. Working out at the fitness corner, buying some groceries, helping mum with making dinner! Oh, I've been reading ahead of the semester that's gonna start soon. Better to start early if I wanna graduate summa cum laude! The best thing is, NO GIRLFRIEND, NO DISTRACTION!

[mickydrip]

I'm feeling ok, not sad at all. I do feel like I have choices now. I've had a great time lately too and met some good women too.

But I still would like to see if something could be restarted, if I run into my ex. And the ways we used to run into each other before we started dating, that was so unusual and highly unlikely... oh well.

ahh i know how you feel but im now in a piccle where i may be too late i didnt know at the time and now. But i will say i broke NC in a bad way but then when we talked and agreed to Space and i didnt talk to herbut she texted me 5 days out of a 7 day period (which i replied too, more than her at those times) , first was important next ones wernt important subjects

 

 

[mickydrip]

End of Day 27

 

Today was just another day. I've been keeping myself busy. Working out at the fitness corner, buying some groceries, helping mum with making dinner! Oh, I've been reading ahead of the semester that's gonna start soon. Better to start early if I wanna graduate summa cum laude! The best thing is, NO GIRLFRIEND, NO DISTRACTION!

 

WIsh i had that but thing was i got uni work tafe and this breakup right now as much as i try for it not too it takes over my life, if i didnt my life would be sorted. Ive got enough hours at work, plenty of time for uni, solid living arrangements again, financial situation sorted. but ive just been overtaken by it i try and do other things which i kinda do but then i just keep going back and im just wondering what to do, i stare at my uni work and im getting behind (not much and easily can catch up but still) ive been trying to do anything to keep me busy and it doesnt work. Worst thing was the other night, i didnt want to go out clubbing but had a friend of mine who hasnt been out in a long time used to be a big party animal and has 2 kids and the mum trusted me with her to go out. I didnt really want to go out but did for her, and i saw people i hadnt in ages, and they all asked about my ex some asked if we were married yet -_-

[Chinafish]

Three days down. Man that feels good. I received an email at lunch time, just asking how I was. Haven't answered. Not going to.

 

If he wanted to be with me he would. He's chosen not to be. I won't make anymore excuses for him. I never would have had a happy life with him. He's too self absorbed (with reason) someone wonderful is going to come along and blow me out of the water. I don't care if I have to wait 10years, I know it will come one day.

[ScruffyJedi]

Day 1

 

We did the stuff switch and I got most of it back. Deleted her number from my phone. Feeling pretty numb and upset. But I think the space might be good. I asked her for a goodbye hug and I didn't get it, but oh well. I'm using the Magic of Making up system but the problem is I already know pretty much everyone in my town.. so getting out and meeting new people is tough. I'm not even entirely sure I want her back, she didn't always treat me very well and last night when I asked for my stuff back she was drunk and extremely verbally abusive. Her new boyfriend is a known ******* so I'm hoping they don't last. It would have been a lot easier to deal with the break up if she hadn't dumped me on my birthday and run off with her new boy the next day.

[mickydrip]

thats hard man but at least she showed you her true colours. I know it sucks man but keep strong, think that its in the past. and if you cant meet new people lean on your friends talk with them things over and just do things with them you havent. go for a holiday and just get out there.

[g3m1nn1]

Day 8 / 3rd round

 

Why does it feel like its been way over a week, since the contact and atm i am a little anxious that she didnt initiate any contact. I dont know, the feeling of her drifting away, not caring. It will go away, cuz i know its just me overthinking.

Time is still in slow motion. A week feels like a month...

[Neil123]

Day 1 & 2 - (10 days overall)

 

The last 2 days have been ok. Considering it's so early, I feel like i'm handling it pretty well. I've already got everything planned out for me for the future so it's just pulling through.

 

Spent the last two days gyming and hanging with friends. It's generally been ok but she's snuck into my thoughts whenever I get a spare second. I'm ok for now, but i'm concerned as slowly i'm going from 'working on myself for a few months' to 'working on myself for a few months and then hoping we'll end up together again'. My friend says that's natural, is it? I'm just concerned that i'm delaying the real heartbreak until those few months are over.

 

 

Day 3

 

Getting harder and harder. Once again kept busy but i've gone from comfortable with the break up to seriously hoping/expecting she comes back in a matter of 3 days. Didn't sleep a wink as I thought of her all night. Seriously hurts when this happens because I'm gonna have to go through it all again when I realise she's probably not. ****. Still no chance of me messaging her and breaking NC, I told her i'd respect her space and let her move on and that's what i'll do. Anyways, it's the morning of day 4, let's hope it gets better...

[xmen777]

Received a message from a common friend, one who wouldn't really ask about my trip like she did.

Seems like my ex is still interested, that's what I got. I've got alternatives now, if I don't reconcile with the ex...

Feeling ok. even happy now that I got to meet some new people in my life. New friends of both sexes too. I don't really need my ex back at this point, though I still love her and a part of me would really like to be with her again.

Tonight I feel she'll contact me again.... well not sure I will answer.

[xmen777]

Also I found out my ex had been giving lifts to a mutual male friend who doesn't drive.

I'm pissed that she didn't tell me. What else didn't she tell me?

[skheehee]

Also I found out my ex had been giving lifts to a mutual male friend who doesn't drive.

I'm pissed that she didn't tell me. What else didn't she tell me?

 

Dude, she's your ex. She's not obligated to tell you anything anymore. Heck, our exes won't even tell us the truth in the first place. We are like game to them.

[skheehee]

End of Day 28

 

I don't understand. The feelings of hurt seem to be flooding back into my heart again. My eyes have been like burst dams, pouring out every teardrop like there's no tomorrow. My head says that it will get better in time, but my heart thinks otherwise. I hope I find peace in my heart.

[xmen777]

Dude, she's your ex. She's not obligated to tell you anything anymore. Heck, our exes won't even tell us the truth in the first place. We are like game to them.

 

I'm thinking before, not now... Yes I see that.

[Chinafish]

End of Day 28

 

I don't understand. The feelings of hurt seem to be flooding back into my heart again. My eyes have been like burst dams, pouring out every teardrop like there's no tomorrow. My head says that it will get better in time, but my heart thinks otherwise. I hope I find peace in my heart.

 

That's tough. The peace will come and you're a day closer to it. You're doing a great job - for a lot of us this has been, and will be, the hardest thing that we'll ever endure. But endure we will, like Jonah in that whale, and when we're ready life's gonna spit us up in the place we need to be.

 

PLease keep the faith honey. Sending you hugs and strength of spirit x

[Chinafish]

DAy 4

 

I did message him today but only in response to an email about Fantasy Football so I'm not counting it ( is that cheating ;-) )

 

Feel positive today. MY children are flying in to visit me in two days and I can't wait.

[hopefulanna]

day 21

 

He texts and asks me if I'll meet him for dinner. Mixed feelings, was beginning to feel better and now going to meet him at the weekend. Worried it will bring me back to square one.