THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[missy25]

Day 13

 

Today was suppose to be the day we will get in touch with each other to work things out. I feel so stupid for even expecting a phone call or a message from him. It's the afternoon right now, and I haven't heard anything... Why do I do this to myself when I know that he probably wants to break it off? If he had any intentions of working it out, he would have called me. I feel so stupid for looking at the getting back together stories, and hoping that one day, I will post my story. Those stories gave me hope, that maybe the impossible will happen. In the process, I hurt myself every single day because of that hope. I wish I can just snap out of it and move forward. I've been keeping myself busy with school and work. The friends that I have abandoned while we were together, I found again. I should be happy, but I feel so hollow. I know that I've decided that I will not contact him regardless of what we talked about 2 weeks or one month. I want him to contact on his own, because it hurts me more when he gives me the cold shoulder. I am just really exhausted thinking about this. I wish I can get to the point when I can stop waiting and just accept that it is over.

[Quidam]

Day #1 again ... See my threads for details

 

Here we go again

[isunusi]

It's Day 10 today..woke up a little heavy hearted cause I heard from a friend yesterday that my ex still just wants to be friends. Really fighting the urge of checking his facebook and twitter..

[Cope]

Day #Istoppedcounting

 

It's nearly a month since the breakup and NC. I feel a lot better! These last few days i stopped having crying spells throughout the day. I cry in the morning once i wake up. I manage to get out of bed easier. I have a lot of stuff to do. I don't miss him as much as i did before and it feels better. When i first started "not missing him as much" i felt sad. That feeling is getting better. Confusing i know. It's like it's ok not to miss him now.

 

I have urges to text him but not nearly as strong and mostly cause i think i can handle it. Still far from it. The "whys" and "what ifs" are fading away. It still hurts when i think that he never loved me, or that he probably is already dating.

 

Right now i want to be single and i can say that if he came back this instant....ok no, if he came back this instant i would think about it, but that's a big step from "YES YES I WANT YOU BACK TOO!" isn't it?

 

All i can say is that NC helps A LOT. It is hard as hell though. Keep working on it and on yourselves!

[gypsybird87]

Day # Infinity x eternity.....

 

Wow. I am really struggling today. I want to text him so badly. I know he wants to be friends. I don't want to be friends. What I want is a shove. I feel so completely stuck, so anchored in place by the hope of reconciliation, that I can't seem to let go of. I have no idea how to do this. I've never before had a relationship end, that I *wanted* reconciliation. Either I've been the dumper, or the other party cheated and I wanted nothing more to do with them ever. This is new to me. I know what I need to do. I need to put down the hope, turn around, and walk away. Period.

 

But I can't DO it. Or at least, I haven't been able to so far.

 

I don't like wondering. I don't like 'what ifs'. I don't like assuming how people feel. I'm not satisfied with "If he wanted to reach out, he would." Really? Who can say that for sure?? I want like CRAZY to reach out, and I haven't done it.

 

I need to know. I need to know if he's reconsidered. And if he hasn't, then I need to know that. If he's happy single or happy dating or whatever, that will kill my hope. At this point I think I'd prefer a knife straight to the heart of my hope, rather than this slow, agonizing, lingering death of waiting for it to die on its own. I'm tired of hurting like this.

[sunflowercurls]

Day 109:

 

I've been terribly busy with moving, job hunting, and school, so I've had no time to update y'all on what's been going on...

 

She has continued to text me, but this time in longer sentences. She's now asking me how my life is going, how's school, the whole nine yards. Each and every time she texts me, I ignore her and take screenshots of her being in touch with me, so it's known that she is in fact reaching out to me and not the other way around.

 

She has also claimed that she's tried to call me, but my phone never rung. Although, I do think she's dropping some hints that she misses me because there was a picture she put online that insinuated that we'd get back together, but she took it down once she saw that I wasn't answering her messages.

 

While I do still think about her on a regular basis, I no longer feel as if I can't live without her.

[Webb26]

Going on 3 days.

[Wolfshook]

Day 38 (ish) of NC and day whoknowshowmuch of NIC

 

This has been the longest since she didnt try to contact me, I miss her a bit. First 3 weeks of NC are the hardest,but it became a bit easier now.

 

It's hard to accept that it is over though,it's been 5 months now and I dont believe there is any chance left for us.

 

Idk what's going on in her life since I blacked her out completely.

[Bigdeal123]

Day 38 (ish) of NC and day whoknowshowmuch of NIC

 

This has been the longest since she didnt try to contact me, I miss her a bit. First 3 weeks of NC are the hardest,but it became a bit easier now.

 

It's hard to accept that it is over though,it's been 5 months now and I dont believe there is any chance left for us.

 

Idk what's going on in her life since I blacked her out completely.

 

 

It has been 5 months for me too. He blocked me on the day of breakup due to my vitriol texts! A month later, texted me to let me know he unblocked me under assumption I would be more cordial! Didn't hear from him for another 2 months when he texted to ask for one of my text that he lost and he wanted me to send it to him again!!!! The last time I heard from him was end of April.

I have a deadline. June 25 is the day I will take his belongings and leave them by his place. Will text him to let him know he can do the same with mine. And the same day all his texts and photos and everything I have from him will be deleted from my phone, computer and memory!!! I will bury him as if I lost a beloved pet.

They say you learn more about the other person at the end of the relationship than the beginning of it! I totally agree. He is practically everything he said he is NOT! I miss him(the one I thought he was and not the real one!!!!)...

But I hold my head high and smile. His loss no matter how he puts it! He will not be able to find a thing to justify his stupidity! He couldn't find it then and he cannot find it now! That is the reason he asked for my text 4 months later so he may have something to stick to and justify his stupid decision or else if he were so sure, he didn't need assurance!!! Hang in there, Shall this pass too!

[Cope]

#FewDaysOveraMonth

 

I Think this just might be the first day i will shed no tears! Got through the morning without them, now it's almost afternoon and still no tears. I wanted to but i stopped myself. I am choosing to stop crying. I need to focus on being happy. I cried enough over him. I can't wait till the day i will have to contact him. I want to get it over with. Now i am sure i will be in a better place when that moment come. I honestly do not want to want to get back together. I am so close of not wanting to rekindle AT ALL. I don't hate him, the opposite, but i want to be completely over him and be on my own for a while, this is SOOO empowering for me right now.

[brokensobad]

Day 7th - Today is exactly one week from the day we broke up. My ex called me and I texted her asking what she wants. She was asking about the lease and if I am in the apartment. I didn't tell her I'm still out of town and won't be back til friday. She's nice at first asking if I also want to spend time to my puppy. I told her If seing my puppy would be another reason to see her again then NO. She can keep the dog. Thats where she start in at me.

 

Even telling me she got a new relationship now and very happy. I just laugh because if a person is really happy then you don't need to brag it. She just can't accept the fact that I don't wanna see her face again.

 

Now I have to reset my No Contact again. Hopefully she will stop buging me but I doubt it.

[Cope]

Day #37 #iJustCounted.

 

I've been doing well. Crying stopped for a few days, but came back. Today started bad. I hope it's due to stress over the move, but I'll figure that out in 3 days.

 

I miss what we had, I miss more what we could have if distance wasn't a factor. I miss him. I want to talk to him. I have no urge to do so, fortunately those stopped a while back. I just want things to magically go back to the way they were 3 months ago.

 

... But I know they won't and even if they would, the outcome would be the same. I miss him yet now I don't want him back. Not now. I still think that maybe, somehow in the future we will meet again and things will start happening, but I think that's just my coping mechanism working in the background.

 

I need to finish packing. Today's gonna be a great day!

[Cope]

Definitely a bad day. I came across my ticket from when I visited him. Crying like someone died nonstop for the last 15 minutes. As if I cry hard enough it will bring us back together again... Writing here helps.

I jinxed it earlier writing that I have lost the urge to text. I really wanted to text him just now. I remember he told me he broke up once with a serious relationship even though he was still in love. I remembered that although he was distant our last month, it wasn't that he didn't have feelings. Would I want that back? No. He'll no. I just would love to turn back time and give it my all.

 

You know what? Erase that. I don't want to turn back time. I want to get over him and be able to concentrate on me and only me. If our roads are ever to meet again, so be it. I want to be free of him. I love him, but I don't want to Feel like this anymore. First time I'm leaving a relationship due to circumstances. This is SO HARD.

 

I'm back to packing.

[Wolfshook]

Day #44ish

 

I'm a mess.

 

I miss her so hard, it looks like instead of getting better it's getting harder.

Just found some old messages, she was such a wonderfull person .

[kokorolove]

Day 1

 

I miss her, a lot, but I know I had to stop chasing around her anymore.

 

I know that If I go NC, she will never text me or call me anymore, she said she needs me, but she never wants to commit to that.

 

I have to move on...

[Webb0108]

Hi just looking for abit of advice..bare in mind i didnt really know there was a no contact rule else i would of done it then..i wont go into to much detail about the relationship..what it is me and my seperated 8 months ago after been together for 15 years and married for 10 and have 3 amazing kids.. In the 8months i will say i have been needy cried alot and tried to fix my relationship and get my family back.. Things have been said on my behalf which i didnt rally mean was just out of anger hurt ect i have appologised from the bottom of my heart.. Im just confused we spoke at the beggining of our break up and he knows i would never ever do what i have again and she knows how much i love her and care for her and miss her the love i have for her has been the same since i first met her... Is it to late for me to carry on doing the no contact after 8 months ?? I know we have kids but i live with my mum so can go through my mum as she still has contact with my family even though we have broke up.. Any advice would be great im kind of lost.. Another thing is when i phoned my kids i heard in the background ask your dad take you get your hair when you go up..but the day after she pgoned me asking the same thing why would she do that ??

[ragamuffins]

Day 5 of no contact. More than a week since we broke up.

 

Instead of going to an event we both had tickets for, I went camping over the weekend. I ended up climbing a mountain - something I would never have done had he not broken up with me. Although he is still constantly on my mind, I'm doing things for myself. It's pretty hard to separate my heart - which hopes he misses me and that he'll come back - and my head, which tells me I'm better off without him. Planning trips, working out, cooking and seeing friends I've not seen in a long time is helping me deal with the feeling of missing him every day but I know in time this will pass. I am more than another person.

 

Rebounding has certainly made me feel a lot better quickly, and I got to do it in a tent too.

[Loveart]

Been in no contact for over 6 weeks. Break up was via text so I didn't feel like I could respond to everything I wanted to say. Only sent a very brief reply. I'm considering sending one last letter to just say everything I want to say. I want to send it with no expectation of a response. Hesitant to break NC but I feel like this might help with my closure since I didn't get to really respond to the break up how I wanted. Hoping I don't regret it if I do. Will wait until tomorrow to do anything. I hate how he has erased me so easily yet I'm still thinking about him.

[RockinReynolds]

I've just returned to e-notlone after a few years. Looking back on my posts from years ago, makes me sad. I don't feel like I've made much progress in the realm of healthy relationships. Once again, I need to go no-contact. But this time, I'm pregnant, he and his family want nothing to do with me and I've got to move on. I have not had any verbal contact with him in a couple of weeks, but I see viewing his facebook as having contact. It fuels my obsession and makes me want to hurt him. I've blocked all contact with him, and tomorrow will mark the first day of no contact. May the force be with me.

[Loveart]

Broke no contact after 6 weeks. I finally gathered my thoughts in response to his break up text and sent a letter. I did it for me and my recovery/closure. I feel like a weight has been lifted. I do not expect a response. I guess this does mean I broke no contact? Haven't spoken to him or texted since over 6 weeks. Does this mean I'm back to day 1

[sb26]

nc since aug 18,2015- It's been so long.... will I ever forget him completely?

I am really feeling so low from past so many days.

[sb26]

Broke no contact after 6 weeks. I finally gathered my thoughts in response to his break up text and sent a letter. I did it for me and my recovery/closure. I feel like a weight has been lifted. I do not expect a response. I guess this does mean I broke no contact? Haven't spoken to him or texted since over 6 weeks. Does this mean I'm back to day 1

 

Yes, you broke NC and back to day1.

[AR4]

3 weeks after breakup. Day 1 begins.

I started today because it's been a bad day and she's been on my mind constantly. Heres to the pursuit of happiness.

[ragamuffins]

NC Day 11

I'm still thinking of him and it's still hard, but I'm still doing stuff for myself. Holidays are all lined up for the next few months so I can totally forget about him. He wants me out of his life, done.

[Loveart]

Tomorrow will be 1 week since I mailed you my letter. I wonder if you've read it and what you thought about it. This week will be 8 weeks since you broke up with me. Have you met the new and exciting person you were hoping for? I signed up for a fun event near where you live. Reclaiming the spot. I had been going there long before I met you. Just hope I don't somehow see you there on a date. So at day 6 now...