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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


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I did 30..sent her some messages. No response so I'm on my 2nd 30 now.

Ugg...i hated that feeling of no responce. Thats what happend to me to, we were talking a tiny bit..then all of a sudden no responces, that was a little over 30 days ago..i guess ill keep goin another 30 total of 60 of NC...maybe by then i wont want to reach out anyways...good luck to you..im assuming you want her back..

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I'm 7 days in to my next 30 days of NC.

She's not contacted me in that time anyway so it makes it a bit easier.

 

I left it with the message "if you'd ever like to talk about or situation then I'd be happy for just the 2 of us to meet in a neutral location. If you don't feel ready for that then I understand".

 

I've had no response to this.

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I'm 7 days in to my next 30 days of NC.

She's not contacted me in that time anyway so it makes it a bit easier.

 

I left it with the message "if you'd ever like to talk about or situation then I'd be happy for just the 2 of us to meet in a neutral location. If you don't feel ready for that then I understand".

 

I've had no response to this.

Very similar situation. Left her with a message like that after the first 30 days. Now day 18 (?) into no contact for the 2nd time. I drove past the trailer trash (literally) place she is living. It's sad.

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Day 20 of NC (for the 2nd time). Went to a wedding yesterday, took me everything I had no go text her. Looked st her instagram for the first time today in like 3 weeks, she made some comments about "people have never seen me this happy, I'm so free". Hurt me inside, alot. Especially because it was said in response to a comment thst a mutual friend said about the way she looked. I'm still over here wishing for reconciliation, and she's claiming how happy and free she is... Great.

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Day 20 of NC (for the 2nd time). Went to a wedding yesterday, took me everything I had no go text her. Looked st her instagram for the first time today in like 3 weeks, she made some comments about "people have never seen me this happy, I'm so free". Hurt me inside, alot. Especially because it was said in response to a comment thst a mutual friend said about the way she looked. I'm still over here wishing for reconciliation, and she's claiming how happy and free she is... Great.

I wouldnt read to much into her comments or pictures on social media, people dont nomally post negative pictures or comments about themselfs on there. It hard not to look, i still do, and most of the time it sucks,but theres been a few times were its helped me see how they really are and how different they really were. So dont worry to much about what you see, its very typical for the dumper to post those things after a breakup, the high does wear off, and reality has set in. That doesnt mean they will reach out. But the fun party all the time gets old..

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I wouldnt read to much into her comments or pictures on social media, people dont nomally post negative pictures or comments about themselfs on there. It hard not to look, i still do, and most of the time it sucks,but theres been a few times were its helped me see how they really are and how different they really were. So dont worry to much about what you see, its very typical for the dumper to post those things after a breakup, the high does wear off, and reality has set in. That doesnt mean they will reach out. But the fun party all the time gets old..

That's what it seems like. She's making it seem like shes so much better off. Yet I know where she's living now and the fact that she's living with this guy and her family still has never met him is the funny part. She's embarrassed by him, or at least I think. Her family wouldn't approve. Oh well. It's just annoying. She cheated and left, yet I get ignored like I did something wrong.

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That's what it seems like. She's making it seem like shes so much better off. Yet I know where she's living now and the fact that she's living with this guy and her family still has never met him is the funny part. She's embarrassed by him, or at least I think. Her family wouldn't approve. Oh well. It's just annoying. She cheated and left, yet I get ignored like I did something wrong.

 

It's all a front. She's expecting you to look at her profile and is pretending she's happy and over it, but deep down she's hurting. And she will hurt even more the less you care. As sadistic as that sounds, it's what seems to work. I've tested this with my ex by going offline for a while, only to return to check her profile and find a bunch of passive aggressive memes that are clearly directed at me. You can usually tell when someone's online on Social Media. And It's clearly affecting her when i'm not there as it makes her wonder what i'm up to.

 

The best response is to laugh at her as it's blatantly a way to get a reaction out of you. It's human nature to feel bad. Regardless of whether you initiated the breakup or not. Girls are infamous for moving on quickly due to having a stronger support network and rebounding. But it only masks the problem and is a foolish way of dealing with things.

 

Be strong and deal with your breakup the right way. Trust me, once you've completely healed, you'll thank yourself for doing it. She will typically break up with whoever she's with in the future and be back to square one. She will have to eventually deal with the issues she's been avoiding between you 2. But by that time, you'll have completely moved on and will no longer care.

 

The best way to handle this is to simply move on and live well. It will do good for your self-esteem and do badly for her ego knowing you can live happily without her in it.

 

A personal rule i've given myself now is, never allow any girl back into your heart if they leave you and later decide to return. If they insist, then offer them friends with benefits and nothing more. The right person will not leave you to deal with your issues alone and will stick by you no matter what. You deserve better than that.

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It's all a front. She's expecting you to look at her profile and is pretending she's happy and over it, but deep down she's hurting. And she will hurt even more the less you care. As sadistic as that sounds, it's what seems to work. I've tested this with my ex by going offline for a while, only to return to check her profile and find a bunch of passive aggressive memes that are clearly directed at me. You can usually tell when someone's online on Social Media. And It's clearly affecting her when i'm not there as it makes her wonder what i'm up to.

 

The best response is to laugh at her as it's blatantly a way to get a reaction out of you. It's human nature to feel bad. Regardless of whether you initiated the breakup or not. Girls are infamous for moving on quickly due to having a stronger support network and rebounding. But it only masks the problem and is a foolish way of dealing with things.

 

Be strong and deal with your breakup the right way. Trust me, once you've completely healed, you'll thank yourself for doing it. She will typically break up with whoever she's with in the future and be back to square one. She will have to eventually deal with the issues she's been avoiding between you 2. But by that time, you'll have completely moved on and will no longer care.

 

The best way to handle this is to simply move on and live well. It will do good for your self-esteem and do badly for her ego knowing you can live happily without her in it.

 

A personal rule i've given myself now is, never allow any girl back into your heart if they leave you and later decide to return. If they insist, then offer them friends with benefits and nothing more. The right person will not leave you to deal with your issues alone and will stick by you no matter what. You deserve better than that.

Great response, I needed to wake up to this. She actually blocked me on Facebook, as well as the rest of my family and the only way she could really find out what I'm doing is via instagram. So of course I use that the most now, posting pictures of me hiking and enjoying things I could never finish with her. Trying to make it seem like I'm doing great for myself.

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Great response, I needed to wake up to this. She actually blocked me on Facebook, as well as the rest of my family and the only way she could really find out what I'm doing is via instagram. So of course I use that the most now, posting pictures of me hiking and enjoying things I could never finish with her. Trying to make it seem like I'm doing great for myself.

 

Great! keep it going. But the key thing is to actually move on and not do things as a tactic to try and get her back.

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Broke down today.. Texted her. I knew she was in Florida with her family and away from him. Sent one big text as well as an egift card for Starbucks. I know she's going back to school for her last semester and her obsession with coffee is severe..lol. Of course no response. Wasn't expecting one but it makes me feel better I was able to get some off my chest. Oh well.. 22 days I went.. Ugh.

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DAY # Ihavenofricken idea. Last contact was June 2nd... so, I dunno. Awhile.

 

Literally all I can think of is breaking NC and texting him. I am sick of missing him. SICK. OF. IT. And here is the thing: four months + since breakup, and 2 months + of NC, and my missing him has not diminished at all. Not even a little. My pain, yes. I feel pretty happy and good most of the time, especially when I'm busy doing fun things with fun friends. But even my alone time is peaceful. I've filled in all the holes that his departure punched into my schedule. I'm either busy and social, or relaxed on my own. Either way feels fine. I don't feel loneliness, despair, rejection, hopelessness, none of that icky stuff I was mired in at first. I'm just living my life, and it feels almost exactly like it did when I was single before I met him.

 

But in spite of all that progress, I miss him just as much as I did on day one. Time is the great healer, and I feel reasonably healed, though nowhere near completely healed. But the passage of time isn't doing sh*t when it comes to how much I miss him. I want to talk to him. Every day things come up that I want to share with him. And so I wonder, every day, about contacting him as friends. Friends is what he wants. It's not what I want, but it might be possible. I'm really curious whether it would make my missing of him more.... or less.

 

I just don't know. But I am sick of feeling this way. It feels so completely stupid and pointless, that I am depriving myself of seeing/talking to someone who very much wants to see and talk to me. Will we get back together? I don't believe in miracles so I'm going to say no, that's highly unlikely. But why are we both sitting here missing each other? What is the point of staying apart? It has helped me heal to this point, I get that. But that seems to have hit a wall where it isn't going any further. The passage of time apart now seems irrelevant. It definitely helped/is still helping my pain. But it isn't helping the missing AT ALL. And I'm getting tired of fighting it.

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DAY #7

Just to give you some background I had an incredible 3 month relationship with this girl followed by a confusing/conflicting/painful period of about 3 months on and off relationship. She is already dating other folks and appears commitment phobic girl with not much hope for ever being in a LTR. Still miss her but trying to completely forget her. I have noticed that whenever I am not in touch with her in past few weeks, I actually felt happier (or technically, "I didn't feel actively sad - maybe just miss her from time to time").

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On my 2nd NC stint I got to day 22, then just lost it. The next day she texted me back. Thanked me for the Starbucks gift card I sent her via email, but she told me I need to stop buying things for her and she was dropping my vehicle from the car insurance. I made damn sure she was not going to screw me over again. Our agreement was I pay rent, but she pays the car insurance until her name is off the lease. We argued about it but eventually she agreed to put it back on. This was the most conversation (text) we have had since she left 3 months ago. While talking I attempted to let her how I felt, sent her a picture of myself 70 pounds lighter and asked her if she could answer a couple questions, she said yes. I asked her if she still thought about me and if she reads my texts I send. She said I do cross her mind and she does think about me and she does read my texts, but does not save them. She also said she for the necklaces I sent her, but she does not wear them. That was the last thing she said, other then a few texts about the car insurance a couple nights ago. This morning I texted her and very simply said I had a dream about her last night, and I really miss her. That was is. Think I'm going back to no contact again. Just so crappy. After being eachothers everything for 5 years, now I'm like a stranger. She also moved in with the guy she cheated on me with. 3 months..... After living with me for 4. 5 years. Crazy to me.

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I'm in NC and have stopped counting days (months now). Have no links to people or social media basically like we never knew each other and will never see each other again most likely. I guess I got curious about his ex and wanted to see what she looked like. I doubt he's back with her as she's moved on but always thought he was maybe a little bit hung up on her and compared all his next gfs to her. Maybe she is the one which he used for comparison of the excitement feeling he was missing. Ugh, didn't find much and ended my searching. I hate how easy it is to think of something and then look it up on google

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"You're a ing scumbag! Change the door knob so I can't get in to get my stuff. I have to get my laptop for school and my stethoscope and you had to change the ing locks. Good for you."

 

Text I got this mornin from her. Of course I changed the locks. You chested. Left me. Moved out and haven't talked to me in months.. I'm suppose to just relax knowing you have a key and already moved in with someone else. no. Like you don't live here any more. Your not coming and going as you please.. Lol. This is what you wanted. This is what you got.

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I stepped off the NC train yesterday.

 

I was feeling calm and relaxed, and the timing felt right. I sent him a simple text saying hello and asking how his summer has been. He replied, very excited, "Wow! Hi!!" and a longgg text about how he's doing, and asking how I've been. There followed an exchange of long text messages that lasted over two hours, until I had to go to my class at the gym. Zero relationship talk. It was all friendship talk: work, hobbies, travel, catching up.

 

I feel like a thousand pound weight has been lifted off me. I feel SO much better, I can't even describe it. That feeling of forcing myself to maintain NC was getting unbearable. I feel much better now. I have no idea when we will communicate again, but I'm not worried about it. It's up to him to initiate the next conversation, and if that takes days or weeks then so be it. We are forming a new relationship, as friends, and time will tell if he's a friend I'll talk to daily, weekly, or monthly. I have friends who fall into all of those categories, and he'll land wherever he's meant to. Will we just text chat, or will we ever talk on the phone or see each other again face to face? I have no clue and it doesn't matter. One step at a time, and this first step felt good and right, and that's all that matters right now.

 

Will we reconcile? Doubtful.

Is he dating? Probably.

Can we be friends? True, real friends? I think so.

 

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