ragamuffins

Day 31. Today is a bad day. How is it that I feel worse today than I did two weeks ago? I am physically moving on but my heart still hurts. We have never been this long without speaking. Does he miss me? Has he had his fill of f*cking around yet? Will he ever want me back? I know we won't speak again, but knowing it hurts so much. I just want to know if he's even thinking about me.. How can he just toss out two years like that?

NC Day 11 I'm still thinking of him and it's still hard, but I'm still doing stuff for myself. Holidays are all lined up for the next few months so I can totally forget about him. He wants me out of his life, done.

Day 5 of no contact. More than a week since we broke up. Instead of going to an event we both had tickets for, I went camping over the weekend. I ended up climbing a mountain - something I would never have done had he not broken up with me. Although he is still constantly on my mind, I'm doing things for myself. It's pretty hard to separate my heart - which hopes he misses me and that he'll come back - and my head, which tells me I'm better off without him. Planning trips, working out, cooking and seeing friends I've not seen in a long time is helping me deal with the feeling of missing him every day but I know in time this will pass. I am more than another person. Rebounding has certainly made me feel a lot better quickly, and I got to do it in a tent too.