THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[jr22]

Day 29

 

Today was a day I saw so far out of reach back in April. To her, I've completely dropped off the face of the map. She literally has no idea what I've been up to or been doing as we do not share any mutual friends and I do not have a Facebook account. I felt not having a Facebook account was simply for the best.

 

She hasn't removed me from Skype or Snapchat... In fact, yesterday was the first time in weeks I posted anything on 'My Story' in Snapchat. She literally viewed it within minutes of me putting it up. That doesn't constitute as any contact, but is bet she's curious about what's going on with me. Much like I'm curious about her.

 

Anyways, it's beautiful out today and it's NFL draft day. Not to mention I have plenty at work to keep my attention. One more day to 30... I'm proud I was able to make it through this with 0 contact.

[windingwings]

Day 2

 

I wonder sometimes how you can go on living without me, how you can be happy with this guy and how you shut down your feelings for me so quickly after the break-up. I know I suffered you emotionally and that his new relationship is easier for you because he lives near-by, but even though we had a large distance between us it was still going to happen, we were going to get married this year.

I wish I knew somehow that you think of me or miss me.

[IAmFCA]

Wow, where did this impulse come from. From my insecurity today? From not being able to find pictures of you? The addiction is back today. Like all drugs, you medicate a part of me that hurts, a part that hurt before you and hurts still. you are neither the cause nor the solution, only I have those powers.

 

And there it is: I am wrangling with my old fear of abandonment, and your strong embrace and confident passion make that go away.

 

I get it. No drugs for me. That was close.

[littlebird]

Day 4. Feel like death. All of the bad memories are hitting me like a truck, almost passed out on the tube today. Oh God, please can I feel better again...

[happyxfaith]

Day 19(?)

 

I have decided that yes, when I look at their facebooks, I feel so much worse. And not surprisingly when I stop stalking them, I focus on myself and feel so good and happy about the things in my life right now I have wonderful friends, and my city has a wonderful atmosphere. It's home, and I'm glad I'm here. I'm moving on now, and I'm happy to be doing so! Maybe in another 10 days, I'll feel much better about it! Going to work now! And can't run today because its raining

[Bradleyt1990]

Is it possible to go NC with someone you share an apartment with?

[Beduldac]

Our last contact was the first day of Spring 7 weeks ago. I made sure my last contact was positive. I never begged or asked her to come back. I still have my dignity. We broke up 9 weeks ago on Saturday May 10th. She left me for another guy (he is a temp) who she met at work on her shift. I am fairly certain it is a rebound. It will run its course. I would never date a coworker, because it would make for a hostile work environment if you broke up. Can you imagine seeing your Ex every day at work?

 

I am much better than I was. No contact has been working for me. They have been blocked on Facebook. Ignorance is bliss. I have no idea if they have broken up yet or not. It makes no difference. I am focusing on me. If she wants to reconcile, she has to contact me. I am not chasing her. If we ever reconcile, it will be the start of a new relationship, not a continuation of the old relationship.

[the dude91]

Day 17

 

It seems like these days are going a lot faster now. Feels like it was yesterday that I finally hit my second week. Today was a very productive day for me although I did skip out on the gym I'll be back at it tomorrow. I went to see a counselor for the first time today, it was strange talking about things, I guess I'm just used to bottling everything up. After that I headed to work to fill out some quick paper work, I happened to drive right passed the ex on my way out too though I doubt she realized it was me which is a blessing. But I've been doing quite a bit of driving around today and having an emotional toll taken out of me during my couch session, I set up another appointment for next week. Now that the day is winding down I think I may be going to bed early unless the lady friend contacts me and asks to come over again, she seemed to be having a stressful day at work. We'll see, for now I'm feeling pretty good and now I'm tired. Goodnight guys and stay strong, it does get easier if you do things right. NC is for you so you can move on and not to get your ex back. I'm almost done with my first month and I'll have one more month to go.

[happyxfaith]

Day 19.5

 

Is it weird that I'm starting to notice guys again? Not the I want to jump in a relationship with you kind of way, but rather, "hey, I think you're kinda cute kinda of way, and it'd be fun to get to know you!"

 

Haha I'm giggly and I kinda like it. Life is good these day! (For more reasons that just that... Maybe I should go run, I didn't get to today...

[littlebird]

Day 5. Felt weepy this morning. Yesterday was wallowing in misery, so today listening to some cheesy pop music to cheer myself up. Lots of work today so keeping busy. I need to meet some new guys to remind me that there are decent men out there. Just so busy as studying for an exam now, can't really go out that much

[jr22]

Day 30 (Made It)

 

Today is Day 30 of NC and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a ton better than when I started this back in April. I care about my ex quite a bit and still do miss her, but I'm not 'hung' up on her. I no long feel 'needy' or 'clingy.' She's got my number and if she wants to get in contact, she knows how.

 

In the meantime, I'm hanging out with friends gearing up for what looks like a great summer. Lots of golf has been played, in a few weeks I'm heading to Playa Del Carmen with some friends, and work has been good and busy.

 

This is likely the last time I will post on enotalone unless my ex and I have some successful reconcile that I wish to share. I will continue my NC past the 30 day marker, however I no longer feel the need to post on here. I wish everyone who is starting their journey or in the middle of it the best of luck. Trust me, it does get easier as time passes. Deactivate your facebook profile, delete their number and literally program them out of your brain. Each day will get easier and easier. Good luck to all.

[Monkey ai]

Day 83

 

I am no longer to desire of him, do I think about him from time to time, yes, but life is more beautiful now, I able to look at my relationship from distance, and I know I deserve more... I am seeing new persons, and know what is about love and care that I receive for other people. NC makes me distance from my past and move forward.

 

Guess What, yesterday after 82 days NC, he texted me, of course just check in see how I am doing, I will make peace with him, but I have no longer desire of him , nor I felt bad and nerves of him, they are no expectation... keep up everyone, you will get over your past, start new life!

[the dude91]

Day 18

 

Today was a pretty good day, I'm just noticing that I really didn't think about my ex much at all today, mostly my lady friend. We're going on a date tomorrow to see the new Spider Man, then afterwards she wants to go shopping a bit and I have to be a judge on her outfits which isn't a bad deal if I say so myself. Then afterwards she wants to come home and celebrate her moving up in her job with some drinks and shows so I think I'll try to catch her up in Game of Thrones. It should be a pretty good day tomorrow and I'm definitely looking forward to it, I even tried some old jeans I got too fat for and can now fit them again pretty well. I still I have some work to go on that front, going from 207lbs to 195lbs will be a challenge since they say once you hit 200lbs you never see anything under it again. Well, here's to tomorrow and having another 42 days to go. I also have realized that starting your day with 30 minutes of inspirational youtube videos does wonders for your days.

[trying2bestrng]

It's only been 1 year since we have been seeing each other. As time passes I realize we are never going to work out. I have a hard time being around his family and he thinks all my girlfriend's are wh*res.. . He is trying to make me promise him I won't go out or spend time with them. His attitude is getting more and more possessive. I have a feeling I will be starting nc very soon.

[littlebird]

Day 6. Woke up early this morning and then spent 5 hours crying, I'm not kidding. A waste of time, I have a lot to do. But i just can't help it. I want the pain to go away Letting go of hope and accepting he's moving on is very tough.

[the dude91]

Day 19

 

I went to the movies with the lady friend today, but she was sure to inform me that it was a date. I guess I'm just not used to it all and dating again but it felt good hearing that from her. It made me think she was having a good time with me so I'm still a fun guy to be around. I'd also recommend The Amazing Spiderman 2 to everybody, it's a really good movie. Then we went and did some shopping for her which wasn't bad at all, then went to my place and relaxed a bit and watched some Netflix. I have to say, being with her really kept my mind off of my ex and at the times I did think about her it was really serious thoughts wondering why'd I even want her back? Oh well, another day down and tomorrow is Mothers Day. Last time my ex left me for another guy 2 years ago she contacted me on Mothers Day for some comfort for our lost child. This year, I'm expecting nothing, I'd be really shocked if she did the same thing again. Not sure what I'm going to do tomorrow though, my mother won't be in town so maybe I'll try to catch up on some shows and sleep. Well all in all it was a great day and a nice boost to my confidence. I've also been addicted to the song Apologize by One Republic, I hope that's a good sign.

[littlebird]

Day 7.

 

Went out last night, it was fun but the thoughts of my ex literally never leave me.

 

Today was just walking to a shop in the morning and was suddenly hit by this overwhelming feeling of missing my ex. While I have fun with other people, and yeah I find other guys attractive, I just remember this amazing connection that we had, this feeling of closeness. When he would just hold me in his arms and everything felt right, like the world could fall apart and I'd be fine as long as he's holding me like that. How happy we both were. Obviously this memory is from the stage of our relationship where everything was good between us, not the last two months where things went wrong.

 

And I know he misses that too. But to him it's clearly not enough. And it hurts so so much to realise that he was willing to throw it away, that he didn't want to work things out in the end. I really believed that once the dust settled we could have rekindled what we had. But I was wrong, so wrong.

[windingwings]

I understand that NC is for you to heal, it's just hard to know that he's not going to miss me as along as he's with this guy. I kept reading stuff to see if a 17 year old and a 24 year old can live happily ever after and it bites me, a lot of people get married when they meet an older guy. Since he was the one who made the move on my ex of course he'd choose him over this angry person who's miles away.

I am doing this to heal but it is difficult, because I do want him to think of me I do want him to miss me, we've been together for four years and to just start loving some new person two weeks after our break-up (big mistake on my part) just seems so weird.

I have a lot to look forward to this week, just sucks knowing I won't be able to share them with him..

[the dude91]

Day 20

 

Well today was a pretty relaxing day. Didn't really do much, couldn't celebrate mothers day with my mom since she was out of town so all I could really do was call and leave a message. Then just did laundry and tried to teach my puppy how to play fetch and failed pretty badly. Then the lady friend came over again and she has started to become annoying. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to deal with her, maybe I'll think of something soon enough. I'm also looking forward to my next couch session with the councilor, never thought I would. I didn't think about the ex too much today, it's becoming less and less and the times I do think about her I remind myself why I shouldn't even want her back. I remind myself that nothing would change and if she doesn't change, which she never would, we wouldn't work out. I've done all of the fighting and changing for the last 5 years, I'm done. A relationship is a team effort, so why am I the only one that's wrong all the time? Why should I be the only one to change and suffer if I don't do what she wants when she wants it? It's not an equal relationship and not one that would ever work. I'll admit, I started NC in hopes that it would bring her back to me, now I'm doing it to move on from her which is what's best for me. Stay strong guys and gals, keep pushing through and you'll start to see the light in the end of the tunnel. Remember, if it was meant to be it'd be, otherwise you're meant to be with someone greater.

[windingwings]

NC DAY 1 (for real this time)

 

I have stayed in this storm for a month and a half and got nowhere other than pushing him further away. I realize now that maybe pulling myself away is a good tactic for myself, he wants us to stay in contact because we have a history. I wanted to do NC because I wanted him to miss me, but I realize now that NC will only let him know that I am never there, like I was during the relationship. He is happy with this guy now, I could see the love on their first week of dating when they were tweeting each other love songs. I guess I should respect that he is going for something easier, something he can work on with ease.

I feel livid with emotions right now but at least the good kind, I have questions I have to answer myself and one of these days I have to forgive myself for the way I treated him during our relationship. There is really no going back considering all of the stuff he's done thus far and I have ruined any chance with him. He will be fine, I will miss him but I think he's going to be okay. So now I won't have to worry about how he feels and maybe this is for the best to heal.

[littlebird]

Day 8. He is really gone. And perhaps it's for the best. It's very hard to accept that someone you loved was not right for you and that the relationship you put your heart in meant less to them than to you. When I think about the problems and the fights we had - they could have been resolved if we were both willing to make an effort. He decided not to bother, he chose to walk away. That is not love.

[Pault989]

What if I have a child with her? Surely I need to contact her to see my child and also our finances are linked together and she is living in our 50 - 50% owned home and I really don't want to stay at my mums all the time

[trying2bestrng]

Wish I could get it right with the men I allow in my life, My goal is to stay single for 1 year and work on my own inner demons. I know it will be hard and I am going to cry a lot. I cant keep going back and expecting different results. It always ends up the same.

[El3216]

I went 6 months no contact with my ex last year. I was extremely depressed and wanted her back. Finally I got ever it moved on and became happy. That's when she wanted me back. We got back together and have been living together for 7 months. Now were both miserable and worse off than when we broke up last year. Going to counseling tomorrow to see if we can get on the same page..

 

My point: be careful what you wish for folks.

 

 

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[Monkey ai]

Good reminder... I have been BU 5 months, almost 3 months NC, but he broke NC last few days, it really stirred up my emotion in some level, I am not sure what he wants, I don’t like what he tries to enter my life when he want something… I thought I am almost over him and start seen new person, and then he come to you out of nowhere…