THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[windingwings]

Day 1

 

I have only one fear, the fearing of knowing he won't miss me.

[happyxfaith]

Day 15

 

I woke up not feeling very good and feeling the loss once again. But now that I'm fully awake, I'm pushing it aside so I can start my day off well. Yeah I miss you, but you definitely took me for granted. I don't know if you'll ever come back, but even if you don't, I don't think I'm missing out on anything. And I for sure don't want to keep a dead dog around me (being friends with exes). I know in even 1 or 2 years, I'll be somewhere amazing, mentally, emotionally, physically... I loved you, but everyday is another opportunity for me to let a little of you go.

 

I'm working out these days, and I'm happy to be doing so

[jr22]

Day 24

 

I'm feeling better and better about myself each day. I've come a long way... We all make bad decisions and do things we regret. I faced my mistakes head on, took accountability for them and I'm moving on in a healthy manner.

 

Her rebound relationship sounds totally crazy. She spent nearly every night with this guy post our breakup. She 'loved' him. He turns around and his sleeping with multiple girls and gets in a relationship with another girl while he's still 'dating' my ex.

 

Holy cow, am I glad that I took the high road and didn't have contact with her during this crazy time.

[happyxfaith]

Day 15.5

 

ugh somehow I started the day okay, and got some things done, but now my head just feels so heavy and groggy... I'm gonna eat and see if that helps. I don't want to think that this feelings is attributed to him! Because I was feeling pretty good yesterday...

[alr85]

Day 22-- I hate that he f'd with my head last week. I was doing well with the new guy-- accepting the break up. I missed him last week but it was easy to push him out of my head. Now, he's back again and I'm full of questions.. why did he text me? Does he regret the breakup? Does he want me back? What would happen if I texted him? Because I can't handle the rejection, I definitely will not text him. Maybe at day 30 but I can't imagine what good it would do me. I can't believe how easy it was to cast my feelings for the new guy aside for this a-hole who destroyed me in every way. I wish I had kept his number blocked

[windingwings]

Day 1 still:

 

Got a text from him this afternoon, a couple actually.

 

Him: You alright?

Him: ?

 

At least I know he thought about me for a few seconds. Didn't respond and my imessage is set so it just says delivered, which will make him think I blocked him.

[hrdcore1337]

Day 60+

 

I lost count of the days I haven't talked to her.

 

It's been since mid-Feb since I last heard from her.

 

I feel alot better about myself and I picked up new hobbies and met alot of new people along the way.

 

I am getting closer to a really good job as well I am a bit out of shape, but nothing the gym can't fix, I just need to get motivated!

 

I miss her sometimes, and I hope she's happy wherever she is at, but if we are ever to talk again, it needs to come from her, and she needs to show she wants to try again.

 

If not, well, her loss I will find someone who wants to be with me and love me as I do to them.

 

Thanks for everyone's help, first love is hard to let go, but at least I experienced it and learned from my mistakes.

[the dude91]

Day 13

 

Seems like not many people really post on here daily. But anyways, she was on my mind pretty heavy today, I tried to keep busy but didn't help much, I just wanted to lay in bed and sleep the day away. Maybe it's because the weather got pretty bad? Who knows. My lady friend paid me a surprise visit tonight, I was pretty thankful for it because it seems like whenever she's around or when I talk to her I don't think about my ex very much. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day, I actually have an adventure set with an old lady friend who I just found out always thought I was cute. Not sure if I still ant to go or not. Almost made it to two weeks.

[happyxfaith]

Day 15.8

 

I found a video today that a friend of yours secretly took where she zoomed in on you, and then zoomed in on the girl that you maybe liked... Creepy, because I think you didn't know that she was videotaping you... but it stung quite a bit. And probably set me back more than I would've liked. Darn that Google and YouTube. Well I don't know if you'll ever see it, but you're on there... and yes it's really creepy...

But once again, after talking to my sweet friend, I'm looking forward and trying to let you go bit by bit. It's going okay I think, I've had better days. Tomorrow is work and I don't wanna go, but again I'll try to focus on the present and not let you bother me. I don't think you know what you lost yet, and maybe you'll never know, but I definitely can't stick around waiting for it to happen...

 

I say goodbye to you so many times in unsent letters, emails, and in my mind. And maybe if I repeat those goodbyes long enough, everything will fade away slowly with time. Yeah I've had better days, but I know there are better days to come. I tell people that I wonder if I'll find someone as good looking as you, but really I think, I just miss you. The way you look, the way you are, the things you talk to me about, the way you smile at me, the way you let me know you're happy. I miss all of these things. But I keep them with me. And just say you were really good looking. Because things like this don't need to be explained to other people, because in a way, these things are really personal for me. More than I want to open up about.

 

Love is a fickle thing. Maybe you'll know one day too. Goodbye K. I don't like typing I love yous anymore...

[jr22]

Day 25

 

Had a pretty fantastic weekend. I will post up to 30 days and likely stop. Things have been awfully positive in my life. Work, business and even hanging out with lots of friends. I feel refreshed and re-energized. I don't need this girl to be happy, I'm very happy as is.

 

As I said in an earlier post how she was/is in a rebound. I mentioned she jumped from a non fire to a deep fryer and that couldn't be more true. This guy, this scum bag she is with is telling her he loves her. Yet he's juggling multiple girls at the same time. Not my problem and I'm so glad that I've taken the high road over the last 25 days and haven't been involved in that mess. Jeez...

[happyxfaith]

Day 16

 

You wear me out. I woke up too early because of you.... even though I try to go back to sleep. And I've reached yet another point where I'm tired of pining after you. Because it literally does nothing for me. All because I've been looking at your stupid facebook and saw that stupid video that is also very creepy.

I'm just tired. Go do your thing. I don't think I care anymore whether your feelings are completely gone or just hidden under the rug somewhere unknown.

 

Ugh I'm going back to sleep. I really have nothing left to say about you or anything related to you. At least for right now.

[t1lersm0m1]

Back to day zero.

 

He texted yesterday evening. We texted back and forth for an hour or so. We ended up meeting up for a little over an hour. While together I mentioned I got a B+ in my ethics class. Today I logged into my school email and saw I got an A in my business class so I texted him y this AM to tell him my grade.

 

Back to day one tomorrow.

[the dude91]

Day 14

 

Finally hit the 2 week mark. I almost forgot to post today, it was a decent lazy day with lots of good news and progress with work. My lady friend came over again today to watch the basketball game with me and we laughed quite a bit at a bunch of jokes and such. It felt pretty great knowing I can have such a good time with another lady. I didn't think about the ex very much besides when I was getting the good news and had to remind myself that I can't tell her about good news anymore, so I instead told my lady friend which felt just as good. Well there isn't really much to say today, I made lots of progress in things today and I feel great. Hopefully I can keep this up tomorrow, I have to go to get a physical tomorrow in which they're just going to tell me I need to lose some weight. My goal is 20lbs and that'll put me at a good 195lbs. Gotta keep going hard in my workouts.

[jr22]

Day 26

 

Inching closer and closer to that 30 day marker. I'm doing so well and I'm very proud of myself for what I've accomplished. I set out multiple personal goals as well as some business goals. Although I just fell short of my business goal, I'm still having a tremendous couple months. Personally, I continue to feel more like myself.

 

I was summoned and selected for jury duty so I'm going through a 2 day trial.

 

Hmmm... What else? Overall, I'm pretty darn happy and I' not thinking about her nearly as much as I once was.

[happyxfaith]

Day 17

 

Okay. I am stopping stalking activity on Facebook. I reached a conclusion yesterday about you. And sometimes I dont even know why I'm fretting about you. If you like me, you like me. If you don't, you don't. And I'm tired of trying to figure out whether you'll reach a turnaround point or not. If you don't, somebody else will. If you couldn't see what I saw, then you don't need to, someone else will. I've been exercising everyday, and I feel better about myself To be healthy and look healthy!

[t1lersm0m1]

Day 1

 

I will not contact him. When we were together Sunday he said "So for the record I shouldn't wait 8 days to contact you?" (He said that because I told him I almost didnt' reply to his text because I was angry I hadn't heard from him in so long).

[the dude91]

Day 15

 

Today was a better day for me, still had her on my mind more than she should be but not as intense as yesterday. I stayed pretty busy but this morning was tough, I had zero motivation to do anything. But I forced myself to get up and go to the gym and worked out a lot harder than I planned. Then I had a physical today and I am in pretty good health, even learned that I lost 13lbs so I only have about 12 more to go. I got my weight wrong in the last post. Things also have been looking up for me a bit more today and I have made some plans to further my career and schooling. I am exhausted though and a bit sore which must mean that I didn't waste my day away like I originally wanted to this morning. Thursday is going to be a long day, lots of running around with a chance of running into the ex unfortunately but I just have to keep my main goals in mind and not pay her any mind if she does happen to be in the area. I'm a quarter of the way through to my 60 days, hopefully it'll start going faster after today.

[happyxfaith]

Day 17.5

 

I'm starting to think that this new girl is actually a really good fit for him.... That maybe he actually left me for someone better and more suitable... Man I'm gonna drive myself nuts.

[happyxfaith]

Day 18

 

I decided after some long conversation with my friend that I need to just focus on moving on and not analyze the "why" to death... Because I can't get the answers from the past that I want anyways.

I have a lot of guilt and regret for many of the choices I made during the beginning of the relationship and ultimately taking him for granted for awhile. But at the same time, I know it wasn't just me. I wasn't the only one in this relationship. And really, I just have to stop beating up myself about it.

Let go, move on, stop looking. I think I have to repeat this to myself consistently.

Hopefully in 12 days, I'll be feeling a lot better.

[Hi Its Me]

Day 9

 

Feeling better and stronger each day. Also starting to hate her for what she has done, especially her actions post BU but it no longer upsets me. I think it is more about adjusting my mental state in terms of thinking I had found the person I would spend the rest of my life with. Still, getting there in terms of general happiness

[DreamySkies]

After having him blocked for a bit, the irrational side of me decided to unblock him. I felt like I was being childish for needing to block him. We're grown adults...and I felt like I was unable to function as one. Within hours of unblocking I received a text from him asking me how I was. Who knows how many he had sent prior, and whether or not he was continuing to send the same text in hopes one eventually would show up delivered (imessage).

 

This developed into light contact and then even meeting up over this past weekend. I feel like I cheated on myself. I feel like I let myself down, chasing a fix... one more hit. Those hits were nice, they were friendly and I enjoyed myself. While I do regret breaking down and allowing him back in my life... I am left with a much different perspective and feeling this time around. We had a nice time, I smiled a lot. I felt good. All this did though was remind me of what I will not have with him.

 

I most definitely will have it, and more with someone else in the future. When I'm ready. When the timing is better. As indifferent and in limbo I feel post hanging out... I do feel like it was a blessing in disguise.

 

I truly don't want to be with him anymore. I don't have to try and convince myself anymore. I know this. It has felt like an eternity - nearly six months has passed since he broke up with me and never came back to our home. Even thinking that sends a shiver down my spine. How horribly painful that day ended up being for me. When I think of my healing and moving forward, I am embarrassed it has taken so long. My counselor assures me that I'm actually ahead of the curve when it comes to healing and moving on. Reassuring I suppose.

 

I gave this man my life. I gave him my heart. I shared my son with him. I didn't love him because it was convenient or because it felt good for the moment. I loved him because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I honestly thought he and I could face anything and overcome. I thought he would always have my back. I never would have considered him a coward. Yet, that's what he proved to me.

 

My life is SO great right now. Our relationship was such a dark cloud in my life. I feel so free... so refreshed. I don't come into work disgruntle and cranky because of this black hole in my life that I could never pinpoint. Now I compare life six months ago to life today and my god, it's amazing. I hurt. I've cried buckets. I doubted myself. I was so scared. It was worth it. I am so proud of myself. I am so proud of my son. This next part of my life is going to be beautiful. He had no clue what he tossed aside, but instead of being bitter and hurt and insecure. I'm just so thankful he did.

 

I was settling. I was trying to make something fit. My counselor has said it best. I was trying to fit a bunch of pieces together. When the truth is, my son and I are already two pieces and whoever and whatever comes next needs to fit into us. Not us, or me trying to fit into theirs.

[sharky988]

Wow. So, blocking him is "childish"?

 

But staying in contact is..... what, mature? Helpful to your healing?

 

Sweetie, what's childish is giving in to temptation to unblock. You KNEW he was going to contact you sooner or later.

 

Please say you've re-blocked him now!

[littlebird]

Day 3. I've had enough. He will regret letting me go one day. For now, I just can't be bothered anymore. He's an immature idiot and I deserve better.

[jr22]

Today is officially day 28 for me. In fact, it was right about this time where the BU conversation happened. I'm nearly certain her rebound relationship has wrapped up. I posted a 'my story' on snapchat and she viewed it within minutes after I posted it. She posted on this morning and I will not breakdown and view it. If she wants to talk to me, she has my phone number and is totally capable of contacting me if she'd like. Otherwise I'm going to continue on the high road.

 

Her rebound relationship sounds like it was miserable. Of course, this is all second and third hand information. I don't even know if she knows that I know. She hasn't said anything about me to anyone I know and same goes for me with her. To be honest, I'm not sure if what we had is able to be reconciled. She had trust issues when she met me then her rebound cheated on her and juggled multiple girls.

 

As I said, I'm just going to continue on my road. I have another date next week with the girl I had lunch with. We've exchanged some snapchats and texts over the last couple weeks. Nothing too much, just general chat. I'm looking forward to seeing her again next week. I feel like I'm nearing the light at the end of the tunnel with my ex. It feels good.

[the dude91]

Day 16

 

Today was another productive day, although I was in a lot back pain and I'm not sure where it came from. But I did get some good work news. I also have a counseling session tomorrow and have to do something at my work facility to fill out some paper work. Unfortunately it's during the ex's work time which means we may run into each other but I have a feeling we won't. I can't wait to get that business over with. My lady friend also threw me a curveball today, she asked if we could move in together. I'm not sure how to respond to it, I think it may be moving a bit fast for me so maybe I'll just tell her that, I really don't want to hurt her especially by the off chance my ex contacts me and is willing to do whatever it takes to have me back which I highly doubt since it's not in her nature. But, there is still that off chance she impresses me but I'm not holding my breath on it and I rather not hurt my lady friend. If she and I start seeing each other then I want to be on even grounds with her.