THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[james31]

Day 14... i feel so much better now, especially considering how long it took to accept the breakup and the associated feelings.

I didnt think about contacting her at all today, instead i am going out on a first date, the first time i have been dating in over 2 years.

 

 

Nervous much? Haha

[Ammieg]

Day 3

 

Had about an hour of feeling sad and then back to feeling angry again. I still cant believe how badly he treated me. Wondering if he ever loved me at all. I'm determined to do at least 30 days, my aim is actually 60. He needs to think about the things that he's done and silence is more powerful than any words I could say.

[IAmFCA]

Day 9. Uneventful. I remember how painful this was over the winter. now it's a piece of cake. I don't even talk about it with my friends. two recent fb jokes are perfect for him. this is hardly ever true. in a year, I only had one other one. couldn't be more perfect, actually. I didn't share them. I didn't think for a second that I would. only, huh, b would have loved that. and then onward.

 

in the company of my ENA peers, I feel like I am cheating. but it was dearly hard last time. so maybe my contribution is that once NC is accomplished, the change stays within you. a new peace, clarity and grace for me.

 

so. Day 9. nine days is nothing, I know. but vive la difference depuis l'hiver. Yay!

[Amandacast57]

Day 19.

 

I miss him

[icantsay]

Interesting turn of events!

 

I am doing well and thinking little of my ex. I have had so much homework that it is impossible to think of anything else. however, I had to get my old hiking shoes from my ex's place and I decided to meet with him (I already did the challenge!!). Anyway, it was short but pleasant. Honestly, I couldn't care less about him and his girlfriend. I'm doing great and traveling so much this summer!! My ex on the other hand broke down and started crying... and I didn't know what to do? Since then he has contacted me three times the past nights... like at 2 am every time. I have been ignoring it as it's just odd.

 

I guess push-pull theory is finally working... and too late, I have moved on

 

My one problem now is that I become uncomfortable around guys.. I just don't trust them.. Every time a guy chats with me, I close up and pretty much run away. I finally feel that I can date and flirt again, but for some reason my inner instincts are not allowing me to. Has anyone else experienced this?

 

Other than that, my life is awesome and I'm going to Africa in less than one month!! lalalaaa

[Mellow1]

DAY ONE

 

Challenge accepted, my day started really good I went for a walk this morning because i woke up feeling lonely and my heart started to race. As I was walking I passed by his neighborhood but I didnt go through his block because I felt uneased. Its been 3 weeks since I hold him in my arms to sleep and every morning I wake up in panic. I needed to get out my room and explore because I felt trapped, like i'm in prison.As I was heading to the park I was talking myself through this emotional period, thinking of all the things he said to me. He the type that feels trap in a relationship no matter how good he felt with me. He was always single but decided to try it with me because of our connection but we felt like we was getting tired of each other and called it quits at least he did and he feels like it was right thing to do it now then down the road. So I decided to walk around this small park three times before heading home. The moment felt peaceful but still chaotic as my emotions where running wild. I decided to search him up on fb and he had a picture of him smiling it hurt so I decided to make one as well before this walk. For some reason I feel mostly at ease as I went to class (college) not one moment of thinking about him. As I got home however he ask if he can bring back my glasses which I stupidly replied yes. He came over and decided to cheer me up by showing that he cares in little ways like wearing the ring I gave him and making me laugh as well as flirt around i guess to boost his ego but he also wanted to return some of my things. he still want to be friends but I really tired of his **** ... I want to heal so for the rest of the day im here in my room looking online for answers ... I decided that this is the best option because I love this man and I feel like I dont mean **** to him. my emotions keeps me from eating but every time I have a good day with him I feel hungry, my emotions are crazy.

[Ne Moe]

Day One....Again

 

It's been 2 months since myself and my ex broke up. He basically felt it was all moving too fast and wanted to take a break but I said we should just end it and break up.

For the last two months we have been in contact. Maybe once or twice a week and meeting up once a week.

 

I thought I was ok with that but for the last week or two I've felt a real anxiety about not being together, about not talking to him. I upped the contact and in turn, he began to pull back.

 

This made me more anxious and crap about myself so eventually, when he suggested meeting up last week I said to him that I wanted to know where we are at, are we ok with seeing other people etc? He wouldn't give me a straight answer.

 

Yesterday I asked again and yet again, he wouldn't answer me. I said we should meet and talk about it and he said he didn't see the point because it would go around in circles.

 

So I told him that I couldn't see him if he was going to be in chatting with me on a weeknight and off with other women at the weekend. I told him I knew I had no right to tell him not to see other people, we are broken up after all, but that I wasn't to be taken for a fool and if he was seeing, or thinking about seeing other women, he needs to let me know so I can choose what to do.

 

He didn't reply. (He ALWAYS replies to me texts - he would have taken the text literally, as in to let him know when he starts seeing other people so prob thought there was no need for a response) but it still stung.

 

I went online and ordered some breakup books and then went home and deleted all of his contact info (I had done this before but he had texted me every time).

 

I've made it to day 6 or 7 NC before but never more than that.

 

But that NC always had an agenda surrounding HIM. It was always about giving him space and getting him back. Now I need it for me.I can't carry on like this. I'm turning into a needy, whinger who is filled with anxiety and looking to my ex for validation. This isn't me! I'm better that this!!

[Ammieg]

Day 4

 

Had a good night sleep and the world seems like such a better place.

 

I can't believe how much easier it is this time. Maybe there is only so much suffering a person can take? I'm sure there were good things during our relationship.... I just can't quite think of them right now. Fine by me. Gives me more resolve to follow through this time.

[figmentations]

Day 8 (formerly 20 days had I not broken NC)

 

Feel pretty good. I find myself thinking on the positive things we had together but it's honestly painful to think of what I've lost so I distract myself with other thoughts. I'm going out with friends, meeting people, moving on. I no longer feel like a shut-in at social events. I'm also learning to accept that time will help me heal and only time will tell what happens next. I've even stopped going to the "Talk to your Ex" thread. I have nothing to say internally anymore.

[IAmFCA]

Day 10. writing on my phone is a bit haphazard. Have a ticket available for concert tomorrow.I would take him if he weren't such an xxxhxlx. if I end up meeting band afterwards, it would be awkward to have him there, since R also knows band but hates B. whatever. need more single women who rock.

 

funny. I bought the ticket thinking R B Or M could go. not inviting M since I see him Saturday. nephews can't make it. R not well. B done. so maybe I can grab doug who just moved here.

3 girlfriends like pop. won't enjoy the noise.

 

anyway, day 10 and he hadn't changed his profile picture which is a different pattern. so, he's is doing something intentionally, whatever it is I don't know and it doesn't matter.

 

bringing new guy out with friends and family. so easy. old guy? not so much. at least he was never my full on BF so he is not in my social network.

 

Day 10. okay. no biggie. so done. even as we appreciate his humor. still done.

[Amandacast57]

Day 20.

 

I miss him so much. I feel like I'm so close to breaking NC. Trying to stay strong

[Alone Now]

Why not invite R again? Maybe he will have changed his mind? Having R there at the concert sounds like the two of you would have a blast! It's always fun to have a guy who likes the same things. It sounds as if B is still very much in the picture though and who cares if R and B don't like each other since you wouldn't be taking both? It sounds as if R is somehow in the mix, is he the new guy? And if not, why not pal around with him more often as you find yourself? M sounds like he is a friend but what if he doesn't like the band you are going to see and then it could be a disaster.

 

Again, I would suggest that you ease off finding and introducing the new guy in your social circle even if you really like him. I had dinner with a new guy last night and I am sick of how I feel. I'm over MW but feel like I was cheating somehow on GF because he is kind and compassionate and cares about me before anything else. GF treats me like a queen and we have so much fun when we are together. If I hadn't already said I would go to dinner with the new guy I would have taken a pass or at least gone to dinner with the understanding that the new guy was just a dinner companion and nothing more.

 

I hope you haven't invited new guy to meet your daughter yet because that would also be a disaster considering what you wrote about your daughter. She might be confused by the whole thing after all and she is your daughter for goodness sake. My vote would be R since he was the one you thought of when you purchased the ticket in the first place and it appears that he is in the front of your brain, otherwise you could always scalp the ticket depending on where you live.

 

It also seems that B is still very much in the picture if you know about his profile picture. M seems like a passing fancy even if he is the new guy and R seems like the perfect option so I would invite him again. How does Doug play into all of this? Who would you have the most fun with? Who would enjoy the concert the most? Who would you feel you could enjoy the show most with? If it is B, then there is a problem, if it is R, then I say go for it. If it is M, then ask him after you check with R. But it definitely sounds like you aren't over B and that R would be the best person to take to the show. Can I ask who the band is?

 

Just my two cents ITIC.

[Mellow1]

DAY TWO

 

Today i woke up with the same feeling of anxiety.I decided to listen to some music and the best song to describe my feelings is The Kill by 30 seconds to mar.

I stayed at my house today because i felt tired and not looking forward to seeing my ex at school. He decided to contact me 11:44 am an hour before i woke up and tells me work suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and so does money. I ignored his stupid message. The pain is to much to bare to listen to his crap. I love him but I hate being just a friend.

 

 

Keeping My **** together, Mind Over Heart Always!

 

Show Love to Yourself,if you're in the same situation as I am. Its the only way you can make it !

[Live-N-Learn]

DAY TWO

 

Today i woke up with the same feeling of anxiety.I decided to listen to some music and the best song to describe my feelings is The Kill by 30 seconds to mar.

I stayed at my house today because i felt tired and not looking forward to seeing my ex at school. He decided to contact me 11:44 am an hour before i woke up and tells me work suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and so does money. I ignored his stupid message. The pain is to much to bare to listen to his crap. I love him but I hate being just a friend.

 

 

Keeping My **** together, Mind Over Heart Always!

 

Show Love to yourself if your in the same situation I am its the only way you can make it !

 

You may want to consider blocking his number.

[El3216]

DAY 1

 

I have been LC for a month. She is moving out tomorrow so my NC is starting today.

 

I have come a long way and I'm ready to get myself back.

[Mellow1]

You may want to consider blocking his number.

 

Its through email he doesn't have a phone

[Alone Now]

Day 20.

 

I miss him so much. I feel like I'm so close to breaking NC. Trying to stay strong

 

I know you can be strong just remember that you are strong!

[DonDraper32]

Day 18

 

I'm not going to lie. I thought I'd feel better by now, but almost seem to be regressing.

 

Early on it was easy. We'd only gone 9 days of NC before, and knew extended NC was key. But this sucks. I find myself missing her like crazy still, thinking about what she's doing in the last two weeks of her college career. I'm sure it's worse in my mind, but I wonder if her life will be different in a month and if she'll ever contact me again.

 

I get impulses to contact her, but never to say anything of substance, and I never come close to doing so. I broke down and cried yesterday, practically had a panic attack, and feel like I might do the same.

 

I just can't shake her. For the first two weeks I convinced myself she treated me like crap (which she did) but now all I can think about are her positives and how much I want to be with her.

[Alone Now]

I regret going to dinner with a new guy last night and regret kissing him good night. That kiss should have been reserved for my great friend and not the new guy. Why do I feel like I need someone new? What was wrong with me? Great friend knew I was going out with the new guy and he didn't say a word about it. I wish he had. Getting into a new relationship is exciting for all the wrong reasons because I'm not allowing myself the chance to regain my inner strength. I thought I had but I definitely had not. God what a HUGE mistake I made. I heard from a very nice person on enot who also said I made a mistake starting a new relationship. It has only been a few weeks and she was right. I need to find myself and not count on other people to make me feel special even though the new guy does make me feel special.

 

Could it be that new guy was saying all the things I needed or wanted to hear? I'm not even sure if I like the new guy. He is hot and all, but there is just something wrong with me wanting the new guy to be Mr. Wonderful. There just is. How do I let new guy know that I find him interesting but that I don't want to date him exclusively? And what kind of pain have I cause GF?

[heartbrokengir]

Day 23

 

Not feeling as good as usual. Trying to balance between what my heart is feeling and what my brain is telling me. Mission is to stop thinking too much.

[Amandacast57]

I'm at 20 and I'm wondering if he is thinking the same thing you are wondering if she is thinking.

 

I only made it maybe 8 days NC with him before. Since it has been 20, I wonder if that really means this is it, over, done, finished.

[Alone Now]

I'm at 20 and I'm wondering if he is thinking the same thing you are wondering if she is thinking.

 

I only made it maybe 8 days NC with him before. Since it has been 20, I wonder if that really means this is it, over, done, finished.

 

Would you consider seeing someone new so soon? This is my dilemma.

[El3216]

Are you the dumper?

[Alone Now]

Are you the dumper?

 

I was with MW (Mr. Wrong)

[heartbrokengir]

I was with MW (Mr. Wrong)

 

 

I wanna meet someone too, but not sure if I should yet