THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[TheBlackDahlia]

Day 11... I guess:

She tried to get me to see her, but to no avail. She is trying everything to get me to be friends with her, and I refuse to do that. There's only 1 way you can have me in your life, and that's as your boyfriend. It's either that, or I'm not in your life at all. You pick.

[Slimpee]

its gonna be a really hard day tomorrow!

i was trying not to count down days, but this day was always coming up, its a weekend we had planned together, going to some events and spending some time alone, but now shes going with her mates instead, i cant be cruel enough to go myself, we cant see each other, i was only interested in going with her anyway!

we had a full weekend planned and then a week together, just us in a cottage! its gonna be tough!

i am gonna surround my self with my friends and try to have some fun, take my mind off it

 

Yo, I feel this! About a month and a half ago there was a big dance that i've gone to several times in the past and was looking forward to. It was sort of a looming date on the calendar after she went NC in Dec. because I knew i'd see her there. I was worried about seeing my ex, how she'd react, whether she'd be there w/ another guy, whether we'd talk, etc. I also had a paper due the week after so i decided not to take the emotional risk and try to get some work done on my paper. I didn't end up going and I think it was the right decision. I really need(ed) to keep my head as straight-as-possible w/ school and I think seeing her would've put me back into a bad state (assuming we didn't have reconciliation).

 

Good luck!

[T413]

I slept well last night which is the first time this week.

 

My mutual friend and my ex did not turn up at my class. I do feel relieved but I also feel like I’m the subject of NC rather than leading it. I don’t feel in control at all.

 

I’m still incredibly sad and lonely.

[Silverbirch]

Day 7

 

Lots of mixed emotions. Slept okay. I've lost around 4kgs in weight which I don't mind, but will have to be careful I don't lose too much more. Some body soreness and an aching in my chest area. I do not want to contact my ex although I keep finding myself checking to see if he has tried to contact me which is annoying.

[jefr61]

this no contact nonsense is TOTAL BS....if you want to have any hope of rekindling anything with ex...just look at Isreal and Egypt...there is your instruction. If youre 20 something....you ok NC, who cares...you guys are still too young to make any committments. BUT you should need this website to know tHAT AT YOUR YOUNG AGE!!

[wilyone 11]

Day 28

My emotions seem to be stabilizing. I think I've reached the acceptance stage.

 

I've never loved any man so much and I'm actually proud of myself for how strong I've been through this. I've come a long way since I was last dumped 15 years ago.

[NCforME]

this no contact nonsense is TOTAL BS....if you want to have any hope of rekindling anything with ex...just look at Isreal and Egypt...there is your instruction. If youre 20 something....you ok NC, who cares...you guys are still too young to make any committments. BUT you should need this website to know tHAT AT YOUR YOUNG AGE!!

 

I can tell you that being 25 doesn't make it easy. I guess it really depends on where the individual is in their life. Not so much their age.

[petalsfall]

I can tell you that being 25 doesn't make it easy. I guess it really depends on where the individual is in their life. Not so much their age.

 

Strongly agree, NC. People's experiences and values affect their maturity level and their decisions, not their age.

[MrBrightside15]

Day 6 - Didn't have much to do today which made it really hard. Lots of time to sit and think about her. It's Easter weekend though, meaning lots of friends will be coming home for the weekend. Hopefully it'll be good.

[Helpmetoheal]

Day 34 - not sure how I am going to get through this long weeked, but I'm going to do my best. I was physically ill yesterday and as bad as that was, sadly it was better than thinking about you! FML

[TheBlackDahlia]

Day 12ish...?

I guess it's kinda good that I'm not 100% sure which day I'm on. This weekend is going to be a lot of fun. And to be honest, I don't think I'd be having these plans if I was still with you. I turn 21 on Sunday (for those not from the US - 21 is the legal drinking age here) and will be going to a friend's house to drink all night and party. That will be amazing and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything by not having you there.

 

To even say I'm going to a party to drink and have fun is awesome. When I was with you, I was a depressed, lost soul who refused to leave his comfort zone and have fun. I want to thank you for forcing me to open up and grow as a person.

 

Oh, and I'm sure you'll wish me a happy birthday. I won't respond to you, but deep down I'll appreciate it.

[stacy2]

I finally lost track of what day it is, and it's currently 5pm and it's the first time I have thought about him all day. Progress? I think so.

[T413]

Day 17 of NC

 

Slept well again which is good news.

 

I felt sad again for most of the day today. I’m not usually so negative. I need something that will start me living again, something to bring back the old me. I don’t know what that something is.

 

He is in my thoughts so often. Hopefully, they will fade with time.

[Kev0s1983]

Day 61

 

Holy Jesus... I feel better than I did, thats for certain. I dont understand how you can begin seeing a man 18 years older than you and not have the nerve to tell me? Wear the valentines perfume i bought for you and lie about where your going and go and see him smelling of my gift ? Surely that is insanely heartless and symptematic (spelling ?) of you having some issues inside that messed up head of yours. The next day I find out by accident and its as though Im the bad guy... I took it all on the chin and tried to make you happy for the first few days following and know I did a good job. You couldnt stop holding me, you would cry, apologise and "tell" me all this lovely stuff... But thats what I have learnt, actions speak louder than words... You love me and care for me more than anyone alive? - Is that what you were telling yourself when you were having sex with him? Did you see me in your mind and you kept going anyway?

 

You have tried to call me once since Feb21st, after our last phone call which I picked up to hear you emotional and "confused". I called it how it was, on the spot, told you that there was no chance for me and you again and you were after nothing more than for me to tell you that "its ok, what your doing IS alright"... It aint now and wasnt then. Grow the f*ck up. You do not treat people who bend over backwards for you, are kind, honest, romantic for three years like a disposable razor. Im hoping that razor comes back and cuts your heart as you have cut mine. I would have done anything for you.

 

Im strong enough to carry on this NC. I will see it through. I am not healed, not even close. I wont kid myself that I am. But I have come so far and with friends on this site understand I am not alone and understand the "unique, special bond" we had really wasnt so unique or special. Many people fall in love only to be picking up broken, abused pieces of their heart for months on end. I'm getting there. When your new shiny man loses his sparkle and you jump to someone new I wonder if it will hit you then that what you shared with me was something truly beautiful. Your mother saw it. Your sisters and brother saw it. I was treated as one of the family and accepted. Your mother cares more than you do it seems as she cant stop emailing me to find out how I am.

 

I wonder how many relationships it will take for you to realise that when the going gets tough, thats when a relationship is defined and grows into something really special. After three years together, I figured you understood. I recognise I was putting in 150% and you were not even bothering to put in 50% ? If that ?

 

Its good we ended, especially in the fashion we did. If it had been on better terms Im so very sure I would be in a mess for a much longer time. Im single, Im learning and growing as a person. You? You are kidding yourself that your happiness can come from others. If your not happy on your own, every relationship will eventually fail for you as it will for anyone else. You gotta a lot to learn baby girl.

[wcl]

i dont know what day it is

but its crap

THE worst day

i have been out with mates enjoyed the bank holiday! but in the back of my mind knew she was at an event we were supposed to be at! shes had fun, with her mates, no doubt seen some lads, had fun in the sun! i know this, iv been out most of the day but seen a mutual friends FB, and i am so * * * * ing pissed off, i so want to break NC and just ask her "look, you have a choice stop * * * * ing me about and move on or come talk to me" i know shes trying to get on with life and is succeeding better than me, but it makes me SOOOOO MAD

[wcl]

i dont know what day it is

but its crap

THE worst day

i have been out with mates enjoyed the bank holiday! but in the back of my mind knew she was at an event we were supposed to be at! shes had fun, with her mates, no doubt seen some lads, had fun in the sun! i know this, iv been out most of the day but seen a mutual friends FB, and i am so * * * * ing pissed off, i so want to break NC and just ask her "look, you have a choice stop * * * * ing me about and move on or come talk to me" i know shes trying to get on with life and is succeeding better than me, but it makes me SOOOOO MAD

[Starrgrl]

Very close to 5 months NC (if I ignore that 1 call from ex a month ago at 2am that I picked up due to it being private -_- but that doesn't count right lol? Since he called me?).

 

 

Anyway, other than that, straight up cold turkey haha. Have ignored his 8-9 calls after that.

 

Second attempt at NC is working goooood (first time lasted 118 days)

 

 

KEEP IT UP GUYS! IT DOES GET EASIER. I'm still not completely over the guy, but I do feel like I got all my self respect back and I feel so much stronger.

[Starrgrl]

I still remember when he was like a drug to me. I felt so completely addicted to him; he was my air.

 

I've come a long way.

[MrBrightside15]

Day 7 - one week and still really missing you. Things would be much easier, I believe, if I had another girl to spend some time with.

[wilyone 11]

Day 29

Thought I was well on my way to healing and recovery. Yesterday I was proud of how strong I've been. But today I felt awful, sad, rejected and depressed again. I really miss having him in my life.

Below is a poem I read somewhere and memorized. Feels fitting today.

 

I feel the sadness of a stranded lover

I feel the helplessness of a trained soldier

I feel a heartache which seems in a way weak

And weak I feel when I think of you

When I wonder how you live without me

When I realize you don't feel the same

Because it was real for me

And I thought for you too

 

**************

So I'm no longer spending money on brazilian bikini waxes, bi-weekly pedicures, new outfits for every date etc. Instead I've been spending that money on psychics. Pretty pathetic and embarrassing. I polled about 8 different ones. The message seems to be the same and is probably what any of you could have told me for free. He ran away from our connection in fear, he's with this 26 year-old because he's infatuated with her and in lust, he connects intimately and then turns it off like a lightswitch, he's not in touch with his emotions, he will be back and will want to get together again (varying time estimates of one month to six months) and when he comes back I need to protect my heart as this could likely happen again, and they don't necessarily advise me to go back but you can't help who you love.

[T413]

I felt so sad today. I know it’s because I have time on my hands to think. It hurts so much that my ex is out there having fun and I’m not with him. I wish I featured in his thoughts just a fraction of how much he’s in mine. I wish he’d contact me.

[wcl]

day? dunno 13 14 something like that

but ruined

and got myself to blame completely, had a great day, great bank holiday Easter weekend, i KNEW she did too, it didn't bother me at all till i came and settled down, put some music on, headphones, it got me in a funk, a mood, sad songs, songs that remind me of her (that's why i put them on) and i go and tell her on twitter i miss her, i feel so annoyed, no reply yet, and i don't expect one, that's how i feel but i don't need her knowing that! i wish she was out having fun while i mope about! i am so angry at myself, i would love a response, it would he nice for the ego, but again...i dont expect one, she will completely dismiss it

[MrBrightside15]

Day 8. Start of week 2. Ugh.

[Helpmetoheal]

Day 36 - I am doubting I will get any sort of "Happy Easter" message from you or your family today. I can't help thinking back to last year when the kids had us up at 6am to see if the Easter Bunny arrived. I was so tired and I had so much work to do to prepare for the big easter meal I was making for you and your parents. This year, I am still making the big meal, and the kids had me up at 5:45am. Can't help but wondering if you remember back to our happy holiday last year or you're trying to forget? Anyways 'L", have a blessed day.

[Moonchill]

Today was his birthday..

I couldn't care less.

I'm not responding to his past text because there is nothing left to say.

"nothing left to say but goodbye"

 

NC helped me a lot more than I could ever ask for

A big thank you to myself but even more to the people out here that helped me keeping this up and giving good advice.