stacy2
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I think I'm going to hop back on the NC train. After 35 days of NC (and 35 days post BU), he contacted me and it knocked me back a few steps in my healing process... so it's time again for me to go back to NC so I can get back to healing and moving forward with my life. So day 3, it is.
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At day 37 everything is still pretty fresh, some people are able to get right back into the dating scene while it takes longer for others (me included), so hang in there. It's been 37 days for me since the break-up and I can't imagine seriously dating anyone else yet either, but once we get past the pain of our past relationships we'll both find ourselves interested in other people again and wanting to date. It's all part of the process!
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
stacy2 replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I wish you were assertive enough to just be like "hey, i'm coming over tonight"... screw this small talk bs, I just want to see you. -
Post here instead of contacting your ex!
stacy2 replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Haha! This made me laugh. -
Soooo after 35 days of strict NC, he finally swallowed his pride and contacted me. Haven't decided whether or not I'm going to respond at this point. Part of me doesn't feel strong enough yet.
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I finally lost track of what day it is, and it's currently 5pm and it's the first time I have thought about him all day. Progress? I think so.
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Day 32 ...still counting the days. I have the day off today so I've been thinking about you a lot. Last night a friend of mine was talking to one of your friends on the phone who she used to date. I wanted so bad to grab the phone from her and ask about you, what you are up to, who you are seeing, what you told everybody about the break up. But, I didn't. I can't see you on facebook anymore, so I really have no idea of knowing, it's killing me. The only thing that is stopping me from contacting you now is the possibility that you are seeing someone else. And I feel like I can't get the answers I need from your friends or other people because I don't want people to think I actually care as much as I do or that I'm still hung up on this whole thing. It's a pride thing, so instead I haven't brought your name up once.
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Yeah, I'm right there with you. The first few weeks I wasn't worried because I figured I would at least hear something from him at some point especially considering he still has a few of my things. In my case though, I'm pretty sure he is seeing someone else so that explains a lot. It is a lot harder when the hope is gone and you are forced to accept things for what they are. I had imagined these 30 days going down a lot differently, but I guess at this point I just have to keep going until he's no longer a part of my thoughts. And I mean, at least we still have our pride, right? We should be pretty proud of ourselves for getting through a month of no contact. Hang in there, from what you mentioned I wouldn't be surprised if you heard from her any day now!
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Day 30. This was a lot easier when I still had hope. Now, I don't really know where to go from here. I still think about you a ton... I guess day 60 will be my next goal. I honestly think just a simple text from you, even just saying "hi", would be enough for me to heal my bruised ego and get some sort of closure and move on. It just hurts to feel so forgettable, or disposable to you... as if nothing we shared even mattered. I guess I just want you to act or pretend like you care, acknowledging my existence and how much you hurt me would be enough. I just need something.
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
stacy2 replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Today has been really hard for some reason. This past week I was making so much progress, but today... day 30 of NC, might as well be day 1, because it feels just the same. I guess I just really thought and assumed I would hear something from you before I hit day 30. I thought I had accepted it was over, but I guess this is proof that I haven't. -
Day 29. Not even close to being healed yet, I still think about you like crazy. My curiosity is killing me more than anything, there are so many questions I want to ask you. When did you meet this girl? Where did you meet this girl? Who is she? Are you guys officially dating now? Are you even still talking to her? I have no way of knowing and I wish I didn't care, but I can't help it. It's been a month... you haven't contacted me, I haven't contacted you. I have met new guys but I hate that you broke me to the point that I don't even have the slightest interest in dating anyone else. It's not fair how happy you are and how easy this is for you, and I'm still here just trying to get through the days.
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
stacy2 replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
This is going to be my goodbye to you. You have no idea how much this has affected me. You were selfish, you were inconsiderate with my feelings, and you were a liar. Yet I still love you. It's so rare for me to find somebody that I care about as much as I cared about you. Underneath all those layers there was something so unique and special about you, that part of you is going to be really hard to move on from. It's painful knowing that at the end of the day, the person who I am was not good enough for you and will never be. I know I deserve someone who cherishes every part of me as much as I cherished you, you were and are not that person. I wish I could change that, but it's not within my control. I have to let go. I have to pretend like you no longer exist. The hardest part of this whole thing is accepting that it's over and accepting that you have a new girl in your life. I feel very powerless. -
Day 24 Trying to reach some acceptance. It is over. You have already moved on, there is no hope in you coming back to me. I plan to stay NC forever. There's no point in counting the days anymore, I have enough self control at this point to realize I would just be making a fool out of myself if I were to ever initiate contact with you first.
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Day 23: Today has been a rough one. It was so gorgeous out, when I got off work I was imagining what we would have done on a day like this if we were still together. I thought I would be doing better by now, it's making me feel pathetic that I'm still missing you this much. I'm afraid I'm still going to feel this way in a month from now, two months from now, it's just so hard for me to accept that this is over. I miss you so terribly much, and it breaks me to know how little you care.
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^I am so sorry. I'm afraid that when I'm at day 36 I'll still be feeling the same way, too, I hate this!