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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


SuperDave71
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Day 1 again. But for real this time..I called last night...I wanted to say goodbye..I realize now that I will not get that from her....3 yrs and she just left high and dry...no goodbye..no its not working..no thanks for everything...just gone and silence....I'm so heartbroken from it...i will never do that to anyone...and I hope it never happens to me again... But I have no choice but to make the best of it..as hard as it will be....i have to hate her now...for what she did to me I cannot forget... Ok the first day of the rest of my life begins....I blocked her fb and number and email....I have here to talk to instead of her...and Im reaching out to all you others as my support group..my strength will come from my prayer and. My determination to not be a victim of this. I love myself. I'll find someone new, and she will treat me as I deserve to be treated.....

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Ok, day 1. I have sent my last email, she deserves no more and my mates are sick of my analyzing. I won't reply to emails so if she wants me she can use the phone and I will choose if it gets answered. Bear in mind she has not called in months. Wish me luck coz I'm fed up of being powerless!!!

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DAY 6 wow.. sometimes its hard, sometimes it isnt.. today i woke up quite upset, because of my dreams again and memories... felt quite alone... as the day went on and my life started, i grew less and less upset, becoming more focused at work and my life plans.. i miss things about our relationship and the memories we had together but i dont miss her as a person i think anymore. because she isnt the person i fell in love with... she has changed, more easy annoyed, manipulative and dishonest, more messed up inside.

 

I have become mentally stronger, more aware, becoming more tru to myself, more social, reconnected with my family and found so much support from my friends around me.. work, out of work, friends of friends.. its crzy.

 

my friend said a great thing. its not loneliness, its freedom.. you can do all the things you wanted now, plus more. and his right.. this wkend i want to take some time alone even though its hard just to clean up my stuff, throw out her stuff and make plans for the rest of the yr. i hope all goes well..

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its soooooooooooooo hard doing NC - I have to be honest the only thing that gives me going is the thought that NC will bring him back and how I wish.

 

Its soooooooooooo hard to let go completely knowing this could be the ultimate nail in the coffin of reconcilation and what allows them to move on and forget you and go to a new girl.

 

I dont want him to move on, I dont want him to forget me, I want him to sort out his s**t and come running back to me asap

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DAY 7 today i broke down and cried for about 30-45mins before bed, after searching thru my fotos online for another reason and all these good memories flooded my mind and body. i realised the person i loved has really gone, lost in time... she is now a fraction of that person. all the memories overwhelmed me so much.. i have never felt that way before... its so painful. i dont even remember falling asleep.

 

it makes me really sad to know that i will never have that person by my side and be by their side again. the pain she caused me i can never forget.

 

i feel like im progressing thru this time.. healing slowly. as my life opens up with opportunity, yet a sense of loneliness still. but my friend said it will pass.. he has gone thru nearly the same situation and now his life is better than ever since his BU. real hope... its great to see that tangible right in front of me.

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Boo-yah! Day 27 -

 

I didn't think I'd make it this far. I thought that once you tried to get in touch with me, no matter what you said, I'd cave like I always do.... but I did it! Just 3 more days until I hit day 30. I'm proud of myself.... Now I have to keep it up!!

 

You last contacted me 9 days ago... then 6 days before that... then 5 days before that...

 

I've been awesome at this ignoring you thing.

 

maybe next time, with the next guy - you'll actually care a little... try not to make the same stupid mistakes you made with me.

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Day 8 - Had been a couple of weeks prior to that, but I met with him because he wanted to officially end it. He still has a lot of my things at his place. At some point I'm going to have to do something about it. Was thinking of asking a friend to get it for me.

 

I can see my contribution to the break-up (there were issues from both sides). I have a lot of regrets.vI still love him and wish we were back together but will do my best to stay NC. He says he wants to meet up occasionally as just friends. Don't know if I could cope with that. I'm not even coping with this. I have a lot of work to do on myself.

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DAY 8 what a day.. so sorted some things at home. then I had the painful task of removing all the little things from my room that I could that reminded me of her (I decided to do it this wkend).. it took less time than i thought, and actually I didnt get as upset as I thought.. no tears

 

it feels like Im progressing.. slowly and surely moving to a place I want to be at. Im still doing alot of reading about things, and self growth but I feel like Im coping longer periods of time without having to read something.

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Day 10 Still not feeling any better. I miss her like crazy, and I've yet to go a day without crying at least once. She sent me a text last night asking me if I wanted any of the boxes she'd used to move (something I'd asked her about when she was moving out). Her text read, "Hi! Do you still want all of these boxes to use when you move? I was thinkin of tossing them soon." I waited a couple of hours (even though I had nothing else to do) then replied back "Hey, been busy tonight... I could use the boxes for my move. We can figure something out after you get back. Hope your trip goes well." (she's leaving town for 3 days to visit some friends starting this morning)

 

I know the core idea of NC is NO contact, but following the M3 System (yes, I downloaded that) says that Limited Contact is fine, if necessary. I dunno, maybe I should've not replied at all? I don't want her to think I'm completely shunning her out of my life, because I'm still holding out hope that we can reconnect. I replied just to keep from closing down all communication, as well as the fact that I really could use some boxes to move.

 

I still don't feel any better. Not talking to her is painful... we lived together for almost a year, and it's hard not being able to share my life with her anymore. I know I'm probably clinging to false hope. I've never hurt like I'm hurting now, and I've never been this depressed for this long.

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DAY 9 well, today its actually better than I thought.. staying home this wkend wasnt as scary as I thought... usually i would spend today relaxing with her somewhere.. she hasnt tried to contact me, it looks like she wont anymore... mixed emotions about that.

 

my friends didnt have much on this wkend, so i did alot of stuff around the house... yes she crosses my mind alot and in my dreams abit still.. but today I feel less attached in some ways. I still look at my fone once in a while thinking she will call or txt, then Im reminded she has another guy and wouldnt bother, the thought of it all still hurts, but it helps for me to move on and I dont think about it much now.

 

I joined a dating site online.. just to retrain my brain in a way.. since I havent flirted with girls for a long time. its nice in some ways... I have a dinner to go to tonight with some old old friends.. I guess the topic of gf's might come up, but it doesnt bother me as i think about it while typing this... I realise i can talk about it so freely because im proud of the way I handled the whole thing and dont regret my conduct, actions as a whole.

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Day 11 My stupid subconscious won't give me break. I still dream about her, and in my dreams we're back together and happy. When I wake up, I'm almost instantly miserable because none of it was real. I talked to a mutual friend (more her friend than mine) today and asked about how she was doing. We chatted briefly, and made plans to hang out later in the week. No lie, I'm hoping to maybe get someone on my side to help me with this, but I'm also looking at it as a way to try and expand my social circle, which is something I never really tried to do when she and I were dating. This evening took a somewhat surprising turn, for the first time, I don't feel so overly depressed. I still want to get back together, but for some reason, my misery has ebbed away. I'm hoping this feeling lasts for a while, it's nice not feeling absolutely miserable for a change.

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day 30+

 

"Van veraf was het zo mooi"

That song makes me think of him.

(It's a song in my own language)

 

It's been such a long time since we broke up..almost 5 months

No contact has been the best thing that I have done since then really..

I have no regrets about the text neither have I got it about the decision to stick to NC after that.

 

But hearing that song touches something inside of me. It touches the [i miss him] button.

(I hope after some hours it switches back again

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Day 8

 

NC is such a difficult task for me, even if I may not really want to hear from this person. I guess my wanting to hear from them is to get some form of explanation. To be filled with all these promises, being filled with false hope "I'll never leave" and "You're mine forever." It's a tough pill to swallow when all of a sudden you hear "I can't take this anymore" and they are gone...just like that.

 

On a side note, this was my second go-around with this person. I don't necessarily want a third, but I'd like friendship. People I get so close with, I hate losing them completely. I was told they wanted to continue speaking to me, but obviously it's been about 8 days since contact...since the break-up.

 

I guess the thing I want most is to try and remain strong when this person comes back, realizing they had wronged me. I don't want to reconcile into yet another circle of suck.

 

I'm hurting, but getting better with each day. The hardest part is feeling like I'm missing out on something and I'm left with a hollow gap.

 

Best of luck to all of you facing NC.

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DAY 10 getting to use dreaming and thinking about her, but not hurting as much in some ways.. had a chat with some old skool buddies, and it was refreshing to be confident talking about it... as time goes on (atm one day feels like a few days) I feel like things will be ok.

 

it helps that I have a cold'.. which makes me not think much since my body is weak.. and i have some plans for my life in the upcoming months which is exciting.

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Day 13

 

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I had to call the cell phone company to separate our phone lines. I actually started to break down on the phone with the service rep. It was just one more cruel reminder that our life together was completely severed. Even now, just typing this, the memory still stings.

 

There are times when I feel a bit better, and the misery monkey isn't constantly riding on my back. NC is tough, without a doubt. I miss talking to her, I miss seeing her, and I don't know if I'd have the strength to say 'no' if she ever asked me to come over for anything. -She texted me last Thursday about whether or not I wanted the boxes she had used to move out for my own move at the end of this month. I dunno if it was a way to see me without acting like she missed me, or if she was just trying to be nice. I told her we could figure something out after she got back from her trip over the weekend, but haven't heard a word from her since. As dumb as it sounds, I'd probably break NC for just the excuse to see her again. I guess I'm still clinging to some small shred of hope that she still has feelings for me.

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the last 2 days have been so difficult

i wasn't expecting plain sailing, i expected ups and downs, but so so bad recently.

i have been having dreams about her and they are horrible, last nights i cant remember all of the specifics, but i was basically sat round her house for ages, down stairs, i didn't know where she was, i had enough and shouted for her, and she came down stairs all dressed up to go out, she looked beautiful.

i asked her why she was ignoring me, she led me upstairs to talk and the dream stopped!

i cant remember much of my dreams usually, but this was so vivid, she has been on my mind all day, and i don't know why, for what reason, but i had to draw what she looked like in it, i didn't want to forget it!

very strange few days

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DAY 11 & 12 busy busy busy at work.. so not much time to think about her, she crosses my mind. the dream this time was reality, we broke up and talking about something.. looks like im accepting it more and more and moving on?

 

I know one thing, we wont get back together any time soon.. even if I wanted her to chase me, I doubt she will. I’m letting go more and more.. and just remembering the good past “us” instead. we are different people now. she has moved on with mr.take advantage of her. and I have grown as a person and in my life in many areas because of it all..

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DAY ONE

 

Right, I saw her yesterday morning last so today is officially day one of no contact. I've checked my phone a million times today, not got out of bed and felt like the biggest loser in the universe, but tomorrow is going to be a better day. I've been so close to contacting her and only this forum has saved me. I've been glued to it today as it helps. I've even contacted my previous ex (not the recent one) by text message just to try and prove to myself that you can get over these things (as I never thought I would have gotten over her a long time ago). I am still expecting my ex to contact me but having read up on here I know thats just false hope. I won't be hearing from her again. I will keep all posted.

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DAY TWO

 

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and wanted to call her but didn't. Somehow I deep down expected her to contact me yesterday or at least send a text to see how I was. I had bad dreams last night, I say bad because in the dreams we were happy which was crap when I woke up. Its half eight am and I just did some meditation to clear my head. I have this week off work so I am going to get up and go to the gym taking a wide birth of anywhere near her house. I stayed in bed all day yesterday like a loser so won't be doing that again. I feel really angry with her today for just giving up and being so cold. I'm really really finding it difficult not to contact. Its going to be a long day and hope I can make it though the NC. Any encouragement right now would be very very welcome!

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2 months since the breakup, and like my 4th attempt at NC. She FINALLY left me alone, thank god.

 

It's been 2 weeks since either of us contacted each other. And I can finally say I'm emotionally detached from the situation. I'm not even upset anymore. I just miss the companionship, and not necessarily from her.

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DAY 2 - CONTINUED

 

So, she text me this morning on day 2 with a formal text. It just said hope you are okay? then went on to say that the spa day I had booked her for next week before we broke up was not something she felt she could take anymore. Did i want to take it or did one of my friends? I think not. I went to the gym this morning and whilst there was just thinking what is the point of this. I finished the session though. I came home, lay in bed and generally moped again all day like a loser. I have felt completely gutted all day but have ignored her message. I went for a walk this evening to clear my head and tonight decided to book a day out go-karting for me and 3 friends for some day this summer. Need to start focusing on the future. I really need to get my life back on track and quick. The text really confirmed the facts. That she is gone and is tying up loose ends. The fact she rejects the present is just like a double rejection. I feel a bit calmer tonight than all day but I miss her and want her to call me and say it was a mistake. I actually feel bad ignoring her text but any contact right now is not good for me. I need to rebuild.

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