THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Outshined]

Contrary to most advice.....I would continue to do what you are doing.

Light contact, with doses of NC.

Respond in kind ....but just enough....meanwhile continue to better yourself, for yourself.

And continue on with your life.

[NG85]

I need some advice, too. My ex texted me yesterday with the "How've you been, haven't heard from you" line after 20 days of NC. I always feel really bad leaving someone's texts unanswered, but I suppose NC means NC. However, I have been busy getting ready for a trip this weekend to visit some friends. Would a simple text saying I'm busy getting ready for the trip, but I'll be free next week be alright? (It does show that I'm going out and having fun - It might even make her jealous if I say it's for a bachelor party) Or should I just forget about it? To add to it, she has a boyfriend, and I've been told that if that's the case to just go flat-out NC.

[wcl]

wow, really * * * * ing hard now, but iv got myself to blame, been listening to some deftones, and opeth, all songs that remind me of her, the thought of her going out and having fun tonight with her mates in some rock clubs surrounded by men that are gonna be trying it on with her is driving me mad! and she sent me a text asking how i have been, and what i am up to tonight, grrrrrrrrrrrr,

[fissionfuser]

Day 5

 

A good day, got some reading done and did well on a class exam..trying to think of her less and less. Now if only I could stop the dreaming and I'd be on a good road to eventual recovery.

[wcl]

went out got drunk, knew she was doing the same, but was surprised at myself, i coped fine was happy, and was hoping she was the same too, more of this will do very nicely, if i can be that nice and thoughtful when drunk then i got some hope for me getting over this amicably and being friends, which if i cant have ehr i will settle for, i don't want to lose her, and she is my best friend

[wcl]

need to get rid of these ideas of grand gestures out of my head, that i think will make you sad and pine for me and feel sorry!, i dont want that. the sooner this weekend is over the better. i have had fun with my mates, but i have thought about you less when i am at home doing nothing, as appose to being out having a good time, i guess i just miss you with me

[Crazy2surf]

I looked at this thread and I thought this would b impossible for me... But I am going to start this now

[wcl]

just wrote a letter and sent it to her, broke NC but this is it, definitive NC, i told her how i felt, and i have decided i cant hang about and hope and cant be friends, i cant handle that, it wont be fair on her , i will forever want more. said my goodbyes! i feel like * * * * and cant stop crying, but its for the best, i need to move on

[jakel]

day 12 I feel like hell I hate my stupid life I wish I could take the big sleep tonight. I cant handle this anymore, She never loved me.

[stacy2]

Day 12/13

 

You've been on my mind, but I have no desire to contact you. I am proud of myself. You were on a pedestal in my mind that you did not deserve to be on. I'm starting to see things more clearly and I deserve better than what you gave me. I didn't think I would be able to go this long without contacting you, but now, at this point I don't ever plan on contacting you again. What's done is done, and it's not my job to fix it. It's out of my hands.

[resilient]

NC1 11 days, NC2 3 days, NC3 11 days

 

Ok I am even with the previous record of NC... just not happy counting the days that keep us apart whereas i should discount the days the would bring us together

[Sunshine7]

Day 13: I have a thousand questions in my head, but accept it is out of my hands, I want you to contact me but I don't want to contact you. I fear seeing you again. You feel like a complete stranger right now.

[JerkBrokeMe]

Today starts day 2 of NC. Yesterday was miserable and I had a really bad day due to unrelated circumstances. I wanted to contact him more than ever since he's been my support for 9 years and came really close, but didn't. Before I told him I was going NC I was not initiating any contact and I had no problem not contacting him. I guess because I knew within a few days he'd call me, which he would. But now he's respecting what I told him and I'm sure he won't call.

 

I'm questioning this so much. I'm worried I'm pushing him into moving on faster or straight into the arms of another girl. Now he doesn't have to think of my feelings whatsoever because he doesn't see me. Anybody else here doing NC with an ex that desperately wanted to stay friends? I wonder if I would have had a better chance reconciling that route..

[BackToYou]

 

I'm questioning this so much. I'm worried I'm pushing him into moving on faster or straight into the arms of another girl. Now he doesn't have to think of my feelings whatsoever because he doesn't see me. Anybody else here doing NC with an ex that desperately wanted to stay friends? I wonder if I would have had a better chance reconciling that route..

 

Yeah, my ex wanted to be friends with me desperately. It went on for months. I reached my limit after 4 or 5 months and told her that I can´t be on any contact with her because we wanted different things. So I went NC for 10 weeks and I was sure she was gone for good. But I was wrong, she called me one day and wanted to meet me. This time for relationship.

[Sunshine7]

Back to you - so she dumped you, said she didn't love you, didn't want you, dated other guys but wanted to be friends with you which you did for a time, then when you went NC she came back to reconcile. Is that recent?

[Helpmetoheal]

Sunshine: Day 14 for me. I couldn't have said it better myself! I am still thinking about him but the desire to contact him has been replaced by fear. Its easier thats for certain. I know that when we do see each other again we won't be the same people. I have heard from mutual friends thats his life has changed 100%. No smoking, no drinking, working out, going to church (all of these things would have been laughable to him six months ago). I am sure he is the same person I fell in love with at heart, but this is what he wants now. Like you, I accept it is out of my hands even though I resisted for so long and tried to make things change (nearly 3 months post BU here). I want to keep up strict NC and see what happens down the road. I would have never said this 3 months ago, but maybe I wouldn't even want us back after more time has passed. We will both likely be two different people. Time will tell.

Day 13: I have a thousand questions in my head, but accept it is out of my hands, I want you to contact me but I don't want to contact you. I fear seeing you again. You feel like a complete stranger right now.

[BackToYou]

Back to you - so she dumped you, check, said she didn't love you, check, didn't want you,check, dated other guys, check, but wanted to be friends with you which you did for a time, check, then when you went NC she came back to reconcile, check. Is that recent?

 

She broke up with me Dec 2009 and we got back together June 2010. She broke up with me again 1.5 months ago but that is the different story.

[JerkBrokeMe]

Yeah, my ex wanted to be friends with me desperately. It went on for months. I reached my limit after 4 or 5 months and told her that I can´t be on any contact with her because we wanted different things. So I went NC for 10 weeks and I was sure she was gone for good. But I was wrong, she called me one day and wanted to meet me. This time for relationship.

 

Thank you for this. You are my new best friend

[NCforME]

25 days, the last couple days have been very hard but the anxiety subsided today luckily. 5 more days till I reach the goal of 30! Not sure what I'll do then. I have been considering limited contact. Her birthday is next week, I'm wondering whether I should send a happy birthday text just to break the ice after more than a month of NC? But, maybe no text would make her miss me more, I don't know.

[Sunshine7]

NC for me: She will be expecting a text from you on her birthday, don't send one, trust me on this that is the one day she will expect to hear and when she doesn't it will make her think and she will send you something a few days later. I know because that has happened in the past in my experience.

[wcl]

i enjoyed out conversation! but why are you so dismissive, when i tell you i fell like that...i do! don't tell me other wise, when i tell you i am * * * * ing not dealing, and and so bad, believe me, it isnt a joke, i am not trying to pull you around, that is, i fell bad, 24/7. i am glad you are questioning, please keep questioned me, why???? why did you leave meme?????

[jooj]

Day 25 NC

I cant believe you havent tried contacting me at all since we broke up. You were madly in love with me, I dont understand what happened to you.

[TheJerseyKid]

Day 25 NC

I cant believe you havent tried contacting me at all since we broke up. You were madly in love with me, I dont understand what happened to you.

 

I hear you, Day 15 here, and there hasn't been a single peep since we broke up. Yet the night before we have our intimate time, I love you, and all is well... really makes you wonder about people. There is also a pride thing going on in my situation. We've been NC as long as 3+ weeks before in a previous break, so we'll see if she really starts to reach once we get past that threshold (knowing we can go that long, and I've caved before) but I wont be caving this time.

[NCforME]

Day 25 NC

I cant believe you havent tried contacting me at all since we broke up. You were madly in love with me, I dont understand what happened to you.

 

I feel you too. My ex broke up with 25 days ago as well. I haven't heard a thing. We have been NC the whole time. I can't even understand her anymore. This is not the girl I dated for 2 years...........

[fissionfuser]

So back to Day 0...some LC today but it was for the better..got some misunderstandings ironed out and things are still getting better! Back to NC for now.