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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2


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NC day 17:

 

I woke up ok. Everything was cool until I started thinking about you... I can't stand it anymore. Someone please wake me up! I saw some photos of you at the beach which a friend uploaded on tuenti... Damn, I really miss you so god damn much... I need to kiss you, I need your hugs and your smile. I need YOU! It feels so bad, I feel worse than the first day. Why do you have to go out with that rebound? Why don't you realize that you need me and that dude doesn't give a CRAP about you! Why don't you give me a phone call to tell me to meet up so we can speak seriously!? I need you and I miss you and I wanna hold you, I wanna kiss you... you were my everything and I really miss you! I'd love to start a NEW and IMPROVED relationship with you. I won't repeat the same mistakes ever AGAIN. Damn girl, why do I love you so much? Why did you have to be the girl of my dreams? Why did you had to be everything I wanted in a girl?... How can you punish me so badly after I gave it all to you and made our life a dream come true? In this case I'd prefer to have painless death but not this pain in my heart... it hurts so damn much and I can't stand the pain...

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Thanks Moonchill! I did it! I resisted and you seem to know him well LOL He would be saying that exact thing with that stupid grin! Yay me, day 21!

 

Helpmetoheal,

Imagine him ignoring your contact. Imagine his arrogant grin while ignoring you while thinking to himself *you have got to be kidding me, still not over me?*

Imagine the consequence: pain.

 

On the other hand imagine yourself phoning a good friend instead, having a good conversation that will make you laugh. Imagine yourself phoning that friend and thinking to yourself : if I can be strong enough now to keep up the NC I sure as h**l can keep it up for a couple more months!

Imagine the consequence: happiness.

 

It's cruel but it might stop you, for me it did the trick

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Day 10: didn't think that much about you. I feel confident enough to approach you and ask you on a date if I got the chance. I don't think you would say no, especially if I asked you in a corny way. You always loved my corniness lol I feel if we spent significant time together you would want me back. We will see what the future hold

 

Keep a smile on your faces everyone

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Day 12

 

Yesterday was day 12. As usual weekends are tough even though I had a non-stop weekend. I went on a date and spent time with friends. But I though about you a lot. I still wonder if you still think of me. One more day to get through before I can distract myself with work.

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Day 17

 

I cried for the first time since the break-up. Bawled my eyes out. The loss is starting to set in. I've never had such an amazing connection with someone.

 

But I'm 41 and he's 39 and even though I'm hot for 41, I'm sure he'd rather be with a hot 26 year-old right? Why was I shocked that he left me?

 

He knows we had something very special and I think he was hoping to keep me on the back burner as a "friend" while he screws this 26 year old.

 

I think back to the beginning of our relationship when my heart was so open and trusting. I wonder if I will ever be the same or if I will carry this pain around forever. I don't want to be "damaged goods". I need to forgive him, stop feeling like a victim, remember the happy times and appreciate the things he taught me.

 

Weekends suck. I'm heading into the office. Work is a great distraction. When I'm working intensely on a project, I can actually stop thinking about him. Otherwise I can't get him out of my head.

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Day 17 post 2

 

So this 26 year-old has never held a job for longer than 3 months. My ex got her a job as a secretary at the company he works at. She's looking for someone to support her and take care of her. Meanwhile I'm on the verge of making partner at a top 20 law firm.

 

Seems that guys would much rather be with a struggling secretary than a woman who is very successful in her career. Such a bummer. If I were a man, my career success would be a huge asset in the dating pool. As a woman, it feels like a liability.

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Day 17 post 2

 

So this 26 year-old has never held a job for longer than 3 months. My ex got her a job as a secretary at the company he works at. She's looking for someone to support her and take care of her. Meanwhile I'm on the verge of making partner at a top 20 law firm.

 

Seems that guys would much rather be with a struggling secretary than a woman who is very successful in her career. Such a bummer. If I were a man, my career success would be a huge asset in the dating pool. As a woman, it feels like a liability.

 

For the wrong guys it is. I would love to date a woman that is that successful.

 

NC day 2. I am restarting NC after LC this week. I made it 26 days on the first round after the break up.

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30 DAYS!!!!!!

 

I never thought I'd be able to do it, but I did. I didn't actually realize it was day 30 until I saw this thread. As time went on it got easier and easier to deal with, to the point that I found out my ex is moving in with her boyfriend and I don't even care. It gave me time to focus on myself and push her out of my mind. I'm going to keep going on with NC. Day 30 is just the beginning!

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Day 11:

 

Today is our 2 month BU date

I was scheming and trying to put plans together to try to talk to you but, realized I was coming off desperate. If you become single again I wonder if you will contact me? I'm thinking not but, I can't dwell on negatives I'm hoping I sprint forward soon to pass the time and further along my progress to getting over you or maybe one day you coming back to me. Hope tomorrow is better.

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Day 21

 

Well, after I found out on Friday that you had another girl in your life, I stopped moping around and decided to force myself out to mingle and meet new people last night. Three new guys asked for my number, I kissed one, and got asked out on two dates this week. Am I supposed to feel good about trying to move on? Because I feel nothing, I still feel empty and numb. I don't have any desire to go on these dates. The ONLY person I want to be interested in me is you. I'm so jealous that you are happily moving on, while I'm here finding it impossible. I can't force these feelings to go away, I tried so hard last night to try and feel something for someone... anyone... but there's just nothing left in me. When will this go away?

 

And to be honest, even just the thought of going on dates and trying to start a new relationship right now seems so daunting and not even worth it. What happens when this happens to me again? What happens when I get dumped for another girl again? I feel so broken and guarded now.

 

On the bright side, I did finally make it back to the gym tonight after three weeks of no motivation. I ran 5 miles, felt good.

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Stacy2--Your post made me sad..especially when you said "The ONLY person I want to be interested in me is you. I'm so jealous that you are happily moving on, while I'm here finding it impossible."..I know what you feel. Because I'm feeling it too.

 

Last time I had contact with my BF (he's asking for time alone / a break now) was on April 5, 2011. He just finished playing football and texting me..letting me know he's going home..driving 1 hour away from football field. It's late at night and I told him to be careful. He appreciated it..anyways..from that moment on, no communication from him anymore..and I'm trying hard to be strong now.

 

Today I made mistake to contact him on IM just saying "hi" and (naturally) get no reply from him. So today..is DAY 1 for me..no contact.

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Day 1

 

It's day 1 for me..

Because I still text or IM you somtimes..although you don't respond. How can you be so cold?

Anyways..today I believe..I deserve better. I am a beautiful girl, I take good care of my self, I keep in shape and I look good. I believe I don't have trouble finding your replacement but I still miss you.

Anyways..today..somebody is flirting with me and I flirt back. He gave me feel good vibes and I like having conversations with him..why shouldn't I?

 

Meanwhile..since last week..I saw you adding girls on Facebook..and one girl looked just like me. Perhaps you are looking for someone to replace me..maybe, or just testing the waters.

Remember you used to compliment me on my dance practice, my body and my looks? Well honey..since you asked for a break..I've been training like crazy and I look in top shape. My stomach looks insane now..hahaha. My dance moves are getting more meaner and smooth. I just love it so much. Too bad babes, you're not here to see me now..

 

I still remember our first date..you were waiting for me at Starbucks sipping your coffee holding your tablet looking at me like the nerdy boy you are with your specs and pimpled face. You were so nervous back then..when I held your hand..I feel you tremble...then I caught myself thinking "So cute!". My friends all get confused and asked what I saw in you..because they think you don't belong in my league..and perhaps it was my fault listening to them telling negative things about you..actually their insights about you are always negative.

 

You worked late until 7 in the morning and my friends say you must be playing online arcade games at some internet cafe. I got angry and that's the beginning of our argument that lead to the whole break. I really loved you. Perhaps you never knew..and I never realized it myself..but when you left, I feel a deep hurt. I regret everything I did. If I wasn't angry and scolding you..we wouldn't have this break now..

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