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Everything posted by jooj

  1. Day 7 NC I was here posting in this same thread a year and a half ago over another guy and NC was the main reason I healed and moved on with my life, he never came back but after a couple of months of doing NC I didnt want him back anyway. This time my story is different. I fell madly in love with a guy who didnt want to get into a real relationship with me and who only wanted to be friends with benefits. In the beginning I resisted and tried staying away cuz being friends with benefits is not something I want but I just kept falling for him harder that I wanted what ever I can get from him so I accepted this upon myself. He treated me exactly as if we were in a relationship, calling me everyday, flirting with me, telling me he doesnt want me talking to other guys, telling me I'm the only girl he talks to this way but he still refused to label me as a girlfriend or to tell me I love you. Anyways throughout this relationship we had I kept out finding out some major lies he has told me about his life and I discovered that he tells those same lies to everyone else around him. I didn't face him about it cuz I loved him so much and was afraid of losing him until I discovered a huge new lie he told me and this time I couldn't hold my anger and I exploded. After that incident we only texted each other for a few days and whenever I tried calling him he would make up and excuse that he couldn't talk to me and would tell me he will call me back but doesnt. So I decided to go NC and I'm at my 7th day now because I want to keep my dignity and the last thing I want is to call someone and force myself on someone who doesnt want to talk to me. I don't know if our friendship is over, if he will ever be back or not. I know he's not good for me because he's a liar and he doesn't want a serious relationship with me anyways but I love him so much it hurts so the pain I'm feeling is exactly breakup pain because in my mind what we had is a real relationship
  2. I really loved you from all my heart, I tried everything I could and put all my energy to make you happy. You never loved me though, all the things you told me were just lies and acts, why did you do this to me? How can you sleep at night knowing that you play with other people's hearts. What if someone did that to one of your sisters? I'm a person, a human being with feelings. I'm not an object!!!
  3. Day 4: Feeling slightly better than the previous days but still aching. Feels like my heart is bleeding. I'm going to allow myself to feel the pain and greive properly so that I get over him more quickly. I just want to be over him fast, can't wait till I no longer care or feel any pain. I guess NC is the only cure for the pain, has always worked for me before so I'm sure it will this time as well.
  4. Day 3: Extremely painful, tearing me apart, but I'm proud of myself for resisting all my urges to contact him and making it NC till day 3. I realized today that he is a typical narcissist, all the signs and the red flags were there but I deliberately ignored them because I loved him so much and was in denial. I though he really loved me but now when I think of our relationship its obvious he never did and was only using me for sex and for his ego. According to what I read about narcissists, its not me that has a problem but its him, those people are incapable of love and have no empathy towards others. I just really need to heal and get over him quickly. I feel hurt and crazy, I need my peace back.
  5. Day 2 He called today while I was at work, I didn't answer and it was extremely painful and difficult to resist the temptation to call him back and thankfully I didn't. I'm feeling guilty for ignoring him but I know this is what's best for me cuz he keeps hurting me over and over and he doesn't want to be with me while I want more, I can't be just friends with him or friends with benefits like he wants. I need to heal and get over him and I know that NC is the only way to do that.
  6. Day 1 Feeling so much pain and anger, wondering if he ever really loved me or just wanted me for sex. Also wondering whether or not he will ever contact me again.
  7. Day 1: This is so hard, it's tearing my heart. I loved him and I wanted him so bad but he rejected me. We had so much in common but he didn't want to be with me. I just want the pain to go away and I want to be over him, I really hope NC helps me with that and I really hope I get the strength to keep up the NC.
  8. I just blocked you on facebook, that's such a relief. Now I no longer have to wonder whether you check my fb or not and whether you see my profile pic and info or not. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off of my chest
  9. I hate you so much that I hope you die. I hate you!!! I hate you!!! you're a disgusting human being who doesnt deserve to live.
  10. In my first relationship I was the dumper and I am not interested in having contact with this ex at all because he emotionally abused me during our relationship. My second relationship ended 3 months ago. He just suddenly changed, he became extremely cold and distant and he stopped calling me. I couldnt take his behaviour anymore so I sent him a text telling him I didnt want to do this anymore if it is going to be this way. He never replied to my text. I then sent him an email a few days later, he didnt reply to my email either. I just never heard from him again and it really hurts to not have closure. I am not planning on trying to contact him anytime soon but I'm thinking that after a few years I might try to contact him just to see what would happen.
  11. Day 36: I wish I could just forget you and let go but I can't. You never gave me closure and never gave me good reasons which hurts because it keeps me wondering if you'll ever be back.
  12. It's been 5 weeks since we broke up. Today is one of those days when i cant stop crying I just dont understand why you no longer want to be with me? You never gave me a reason, you Just told me that you were messed up. It hurts so much to not know why. You never even contacted me or replied to me after he break up
  13. Day 30 I did it, I'm so proud of myself, I never thought that I could be this strong but thanks to ENA and my friends I became a strong woman that realizes that I deserve better. I do miss him very much and a part of me still feels like it's not over yet but I know that time will heal me. I'm gonna keep on doing NC because it really is the best way to heal.
  14. Day 25 NC I cant believe you havent tried contacting me at all since we broke up. You were madly in love with me, I dont understand what happened to you.
  15. Day 24 NC I'm feeling angry and resentful towards him today, I have the urge to send him an email telling him stuff that hurts him but I'm going to resist and keep on the NC
  16. Day 23 NC I still miss him so much and I constantly wonder if he misses me too but I've accepted the fact that we arent meant to be together for now but who knows maybe someday we will be. I've also started to adjust with being single, NC has really helped me heal and made it easier for me to survive this break up.
  17. Day 19 NC. I'm feeling empty and bored. I'm used to having someone to love and be excited about but now being single feels weird. I do need time to be single after this break up but I also want to be approached to boost my self esteem. I wonder how long it will take for someone to approach me.
  18. Day 14 NC Today was tough, I was gonna check to see if you've changed your facebook profile picture but I managed to stop myself from doing that.
  19. Day 13 NC Today I hanged out with a group of friends who are all single, I had a really good time and I realized that I dont need him to be happy and that there's nothing wrong with being single. It made me stronger to keep up the NC. Hanging out with single people is really therapeutic after a break up
  20. I really miss you and I keep wishing and dreaming that someday we'll be back together even though I know you're not good for me and that I deserve better. I just cant control my feelings toward you. I wonder if you miss me too...
  21. Day 12 NC So proud of myself for making it this far. It was extremely difficult to resist contacting him but I did it for 12 days now and Im gonna keep going!!!
  22. Day 10 I'm so happy I made it this far I've already deleted him from facebook and skype and deleted his email and number and all his texts and yesterday I also finally deleted all his pictures and I deleted all his family and friends from facebook so now I will not know anything about him which is what I want, if he dies or gets married I wont know. Now I am in much more peace.
  23. Day 9 NC, 13 days since break up Im proud of myself for my progress and quick healing. I still think about him but I havent cried in 10 days which is a big achievement. Im also proud of myself for finding happiness in being single
  24. Day 8 NC I'm happier without him and in much more peace
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