THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[HereIGoAgain]

Wow! If after that long, you still have hopes of getting back together, I would just pick up the phone and give the ex a call.

 

No I do not want to call the ex ever. In the 2 years I have not had a good time and NC has brought me to truths about the relationship that are not nice. Turned out my ex was a liar and a cheat although I was kind of aware she was not perfect but did not know she was on dating websites and possibly seeing other men long before we split up, may be for a large part of the relationship. Not a frequent occurrence but at least for 2 years of the relationship.

 

All I'm curious about is what Superdave meant by that line. I was kind of hoping that as I was treated poorly that perhaps fate would be kind to me and I would met someone better. Turned out that I've met no one in the 2 years where I am still on my own where it looks as though I'll be on my own forever. Yet my ex who treated me horribly gets the prize of someone better to mis-treat. So I was wondering, what is the surprise that Superdave is talking about?

[Hosedbywife]

After two years you probably should have forgotten about that lying pig. That should have been the surprise at the end. You'd be saying why did I even really care about that person anyway.. Try a dating site.. you'll find someone out there for you. I find these dating sites to be like shooting fish in a barrel.

 

Good Luck

 

HOSED

[JoshHimself]

Double Digits again, day 10

 

I guess its ok, I miss her like crazy but my life is going in the right direction.

[brandnewday47]

Three weeks, day 21

[Flyby]

DAY 3 completed, close to DAY 4.... I just wish the 30 days can be up - not because I want to talk to him, but I'm getting tired of posting the days on this thread

 

Today he wasn't on my mind as much as before. Each day gets better and better. I've been so busy chatting to friends and involved with work that I didn't even manage to get to this thread till now.

 

The one thing I do worry about is if he does want to come back in future, I'm not yet sure how I'll handle it, whether I'd want him back in my life or not. These 30 days are meant for me to figure this out.

 

(I've stopped yearning for his contact when I started realising that I have so many other interesting people who actually want to truly talk to me, knowing this helped a great deal. Surrounding yourself with friends makes a big difference)

[brazilgirl21]

Day 4. I'm feeling ok! Can't wait to be over Day 10 and then over Day 20 and then just keep going!

[hellohello1]

DAY 30 of not initiating any contact (although he has reached out 7 or 8 times)..im scared but proud of myself..

[Eddie37]

Day 14. Not a good day. Been pretty depressed. The thought of her without me and with someone else makes my stomach churn. I hope this gets better...soon.

[blueeyedme]

Day 2. I'm resolved and busy, but I think of her in my idle moments.

[blueeyedme]

DAY 30 of not initiating any contact (although he has reached out 7 or 8 times)..im scared but proud of myself..

 

Do you ignore him or respond? I know my recent x will reach out...and I'm not sure what to do when she does.

[blueeyedme]

 

 

What did Superdave mean by "surprised at the end result"?

 

I think he means how good you feel about yourself for making it 30 days.

[ooshiegirl]

End of Day 3. Finally blocked him on Facebook chat, AIM, Skype, etc, so at least I don't have to constantly stare at his name. Keeping busy definitely helps. Unfortunately, I'm about to go back to NYC (where I go to school), but I'm not working an awful lot before school starts. I'm really dreading all of that empty time, because I was planning on, and so looking forward to, spending it all with him. Oh well. Time to act like a tourist!

 

Hang tough, everyone.

[eleniebby]

Day one of NC. We haven't spoken for a couple days actually, but I went after him everyday up until today, he just didn't respond. It was hard to not initiate contact being that I wasn't doing anything to keep myself busy. Somehow inbetween long showers and spending time with family, I was able to keep myself from going to him. I hate that this is how things need to be.

[Eddie37]

Two weeks of no contact...done! Can't say I feel all that great, but it's certainly nice to know I can do it. I'm gonna keep no contact until this girl is a distant memory.

[JoshHimself]

Day 11

 

Blah, who cares...

[blueeyedme]

Day 3 - Was weepy last night...have been very focused on work and putting in a lot more hours. My daughter is flying here today to visit for the next 2 weeks and I will be focusing my time and attention on her during this time so that should help a lot I think. Still thinking of her way too much.

[Eddie37]

Still thinking of her way too much.

I know how you feel. It's so hard not to think of my ex. But I can tell you, at Day 15, I think of her less, the times of despair have become fewer. It does slowly get better. Keep going no contact.

[ElleB]

DAY 4 - The most important thing I've learned from this is that sometimes we just don't always have control. We cannot control somebody else's feelings or emotions - If they want to leave, let them go...

 

Whenever I feel a bit sad, I go back and listen to Madea's advice: ]

 

 

 

Dear dear me, it must be the moon or SOMETHING 'cos this is making me cry! The roots bit.. I think to my best friend... there for 11 years out of my 22 and damn I feel lucky as hell ..... Gimme a tissue

[brandnewday47]

Day 22(today), 23 and 24 this weekend. I'm practicing to be a ninja.

 

Remember everyone...

 

"Silence is Deafening"

[UK Stu]

My ex (of a few weeks)posted on a forum we both use, regarding some girl who was getting the guys to vote for her on someonline modeling competition (and all the guys trying to them flirt with her), congratulating her on going well, but being jealous.

 

I wanted to respond that in my eyes she left the 20 something for dead.

 

But I will have to wait until she contacts me for that.

[abigheart]

Broke the several weeks of NC by checking his fb. Damn it - was doing so well!!

 

I don't feel really bad about anything. There was nothing in his feed that made me feel any worse...so I'm thankful I didn't feel that punch-in-stomach-feeling.

 

I'm more disappointed in myself. I blame being slightly tipsy but whatever...

 

I wonder when I'm going to REALLY get my act together. I've "done well" so far by not being in contact for the past 2 months but when do I really feel like I can do without him? who knows?

 

I cried today after doing so..still feel like I lost the love of my life. It's cliche to hear that, but I took him for granted...whether he feels that way or not, who knows, but I know that I lost something good.

 

Just having one of those nights.

[ooshiegirl]

Beginning of Day 5, and it is NOT going well. I keep pacing around the room, feeling lost, and breaking down into tears. I've gotten to the point where it all seems kind of like a dream- both bad and good. I had no idea that anything could hurt this much, and I know I still have a long ways to go. I'm trying to keep busy, but books and TV not only can't hold my attention for long, but everything keeps reminding me of him.

 

I'm still having trouble letting go and moving on- there's a part of me that WANTS to carry a torch for this guy, even though the rest of me keeps telling it how dumb that is, and until I can fully let go and move on, it will just hurt all the time.

[blueeyedme]

Day 4... a little weird, thinking of her often but don't really feel anything. After 2 months of getting jacked around maybe its just acceptance that I am feeling. Kept busy today - my 17 year old daughter is visiting and we were (unsuccessfully) shopping for a car for her today. I really don't feel anything...maybe I am just numb.

[wildestkabs]

Broke the several weeks of NC by checking his fb.

 

I wouldn't necessarily consider that as breaking NC, since you haven't really contacted him and one doesn't really know who has been viewing their FB.

 

But that's just me.

[Kia-Kaha]

I wouldn't necessarily consider that as breaking NC, since you haven't really contacted him and one doesn't really know who has been viewing their FB.

 

But that's just me.

 

I hope so, or else I am still in day 1 hahaha

 

That is the one habit I just can't break. I miss her so I check her facebook all the time, just to see her face still and the photos of us together. I know it will hurt when she finally deletes those photos, but I can't help it!