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wildestkabs

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  1. wildestkabs
    Thanks Eddie and brandnewday47 I do sometimes feel though, that keeping track of each and every day of NC hurts rather than helps the process of healing. It's almost like you are consciously reminding yourself of one more day without the ex and therefore, in the process, remembering her again.
  2. wildestkabs
    So today is day 30 NC for me Wow! It's been a month since I spoke with her last. Wonder if she even thinks about me? Wonder if she is still with that guy? Clearly, I haven't moved on..not yet..
  3. wildestkabs
    Same here. When I get up is usually when I miss her the most and when it is most depressing. And for some reason, it is more depressing when I get up from like an afternoon nap, vs regular sleep during the night.
  4. wildestkabs
    Mine usually wake me up around 1 am - 2 am. I don't have them every night though, but when I do, they are really nasty. Heart is racing like crazy, chest feels incredibly stuffy, I feel like I need to call 911 (though I haven't) coz I feel like I am having a heart attack or something, breathless, the crazy stuff. Though I don't have any specific thoughts crossing my head, I do have a very very strong urge to call her because I know the moment I hear her voice, everything is going to be normal. But I can't. End it already!
  5. wildestkabs
    Wow! I thought I was the only one, though with me, those panic attacks are more around the middle of the night and I wake up completely uneasy and restless and so want to call her but I can't.
  6. wildestkabs
    I can relate to this. My relationship was long distance as well. Most of the days and nights I am okay but there are times when I will wake up in the middle of the night with a bout of anxiety. At other times, I miss her incredibly. I have definitely realized the meaning of the term "void". Her leaving me has left a big void in my heart and life and I can feel it and see it and no matter what I do - work, date others etc - it never seems to get filled, at least not right now.
  7. wildestkabs
    +1. My exact thoughts. I don't want her to contact me when I am close to moving on or am developing an interest in someone else etc. Timing is the key.
  8. wildestkabs
    Has your ex tried to contact you at all so far? Mine hasn't. At this stage, I am a little divided on whether I would like to hear from her or not (which probably means that I have not moved on completely yet), though no way I am calling her.
  9. wildestkabs
    Day 28 NC. Have almost reached that magical milestone of 30 days!
  10. wildestkabs
    I am not doing that either. Won't go through the pain again.
  11. wildestkabs
    Today is day 20 for me. I hear ya. Some days it is easier, some days it is harder. I have this very weird intuition that I am close, not very close, but close to hearing from her. Not sure why. I may be wrong and this maybe false hope but I have been getting this feeling over the last few days. I think it will get easier, at least for me, when there is closure. Could be her coming back, me completely moving on, or me finding someone else.
  12. wildestkabs
    I would agree with that. Except that it would be a very vulnerable, weak and desperate place to be (for me), only if I was still in my ex's life, as a friend, or as someone trying to get her back. I have let her go. I no longer feel weak and no longer feel the "need" to want her back. I feel a lot stronger than before. If she does decide to come back, she would have to take the initiative and be prepared to explain to me why I should take her back. It won't be easy for her. Staying NC for so many days has definitely helped me. Even if a dumpee tried to manipulate the ex's emotions, I find it highly unlikely that it would work. I would think that it would more than likely push the ex away even more, since they may be able to see right through it, especially since they know the dumpee. Don't worry about apologizing brother. That's okay. One of the challenges of communication over the internet is the misinterpretation of mesages. It's all good.
  13. wildestkabs
    Hear ya my friend. This is a such a see saw of emotions that just because one has been NC for more days doesn't mean that they think or miss their ex less than before. I am on day 19 NC now and sometimes her thoughts hit me on the face like a tornado.
  14. wildestkabs
    Not that I had to but interesting that you see my attempt to clarify my point as "ultra-defensiveness" lol. You may also want to take it easy with the use of terms like "manipulation" without understanding what one means or where they are coming from. I will do anything to get my ex back (at least as of this moment) but at the end of the day, it is her decision. Good luck to you.
  15. wildestkabs
    You should avoid doing all this in my opinion. This will prevent you from moving on, or at least slow you down for sure. I know it is tough but try not to do it. It's for your own good.
  16. wildestkabs
    Hmmm. Interesting. I never realized that you could "manipulate" someone into loving you, or wanting to come back into your life. This is a first and a new one, I must say. Just for the record, I never talked about letting them view your facebook, or your posts. My ex is not on my friend's list on FB and she cannot see anything, no pictures, no posts nothing. I have left the option of sending a message to me open, so if she is interested down the line, she has that channel (you would probably think that's "manipulation"). Even if I did not want her 6 months down the line, I would still not block her because she is not a bad person and who knows, we might be friends. Blocking someone is a knee-jerk reaction and childish. Not sure where you got that from. I merely questioned the logic that you had of blocking them. My point was that before you consider blocking them, you should look at your overall objective and what you want to accomplish. Blocking someone just because they decided to move on is childish. It might suit you but it doesn't mean it is good for everyone. Someone else's break up situation might be different from yours and they might have a better chance of getting back together. My break up situation was different from yours and I would never block my ex. Please don't try to twist my words to your convenience. Yes, that is what I meant all along. The dumper has to come back on their own. They have to make that choice, that decision. You can't "manipulate" them to come back. But when (if) they do decide to come back, wouldn't you want to have a few doors open for them to come back to you, or to contact you? How the heck is the dumper supposed to come back if all doors to a possible reconciliation have been completely shut?? You would probably think that leaving a door or two open is "manipulating", since you would probably expect them to find, or create doors on their own. To me, that approach comes accross as selfish and self-fulfilling, something which boosts one's ego and gives them a false sense of pride. Sounds like punishing the dumper.
  17. wildestkabs
    Now the "de-friending" part I would agree with. If you and your ex have broken up, no reason for you to be friends on FB. Not sure whether "contacting your ex's personal space, personal thoughts, actions and words", counts as a true contact. Two people have to be involved for a contact. I would do this only if the goal for the NC was to heal and if I was not open to a reconciliation down the road. That is when I would completely get the ex out of my life. Again, I would say, it depends. What is your objective with the NC? Healing yourself? Then block them. Healing yourself and open to reconciling in the future? Then delete them from your friend's list but what purpose would blocking them serve? You want to leave them alone but you want to let a few doors open for them without letting them know that you have done so. Again, just my opinion. You guys can consider checking out your ex's fb as breaking NC, I won't, simply because she doesn't know. I am not contacting her in any way, shape or form. As far as she is concerned, she hasn't heard from me in 18 days now.
  18. wildestkabs
    To each his own. Depends on what your definition of NC is. NC means "No contact". Question for you guys is - when you view somebody's profile on fb, do you contact them, or do they know you viewed their profile? The answer to both questions is no. So why the heck would you consider that as breaking NC then? I wouldn't.
  19. wildestkabs
    I wouldn't necessarily consider that as breaking NC, since you haven't really contacted him and one doesn't really know who has been viewing their FB. But that's just me.
  20. wildestkabs
    Wow! If after that long, you still have hopes of getting back together, I would just pick up the phone and give the ex a call.
  21. wildestkabs
    Thanks for the encouraging words Eddie. I appreciate it. That being said, she is actually a very nice and caring person. During the last few days of our relationship, she was trying her best to make things work and I was the one running away. Long story short, it takes two to tango, she played her part too, though I made it much worse and have only myself to blame for screwing up the relationship right toward the end when it could still have been salvaged. And no, I am not trying to defend her or anything like that, simply stating the truth.](*,)
  22. wildestkabs
    Well Eddie, here is the weird part. We were in an LDR, the main reason our relationship did not work out, especially for me, since I had become very distant. We live 3,000 miles apart in the US. Now, within the next 3-4 months, I would have relocated to within 10 miles of where she lives because of work! She is in a relationship right now. Got into it within 3 days of breaking up with me, exchanged "I love you's" within the next 48 - 72 hours and other long term plans were quickly made as well. I am thinking probably a rebound one and it will probably not last long but not holding my breath on it. We will see. Right now I am working out like crazy and getting ready to actively date myself, though not sure if it would be easy.
  23. wildestkabs
    Day 14 NC. Oddly enough, it has gotten harder over the last few days. I miss her dearly. But I have faith.
  24. wildestkabs
    Day 13 NC, still going long and strong, though for some reason have been missing you a little more over the last two days than I did before. I wonder why? No way I am contacting you, though..
  25. wildestkabs
    Day 12 NC.
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