THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[heartbroken14]

Day 18 since the break up and day 17 of NC... ugh. This is hard. I wonder if he thinks of me. We used to text all the time during the day - he would even be the initiator and he even initiaited the sweet text the day before our break up. This is so hard.

[ceallach]

Hi,

Thank you so much for the advice, I will look up those books you mentioned. It helps to hear from people who are in similar situations. It's just awful isn't it. At the time I thought, hang on a minute, this has come completely out of the blue! The last few weeks he was so lovely to me. He has recently taken a new job where he's working very long hours so he was really making the extra effort and being very sweet. Then he dropped the bombshell that he didn't feel the same way anymore. And i just thought, this can't be right.

 

Now i've had a lot of time to think, I can see that a lot of it was down to my actions, or lack of them. While he was making every effort to be nice, I was not putting any effort in at all. I can see that now. I guess I thought it was up to him as he was the one who had taken the job. The things he did for me made me feel like I WAS loved though. I suppose in the end he just gave up and thought what's the point, and i became unloveable. I know i did.

 

What hurts a lot though is the fact that he didn't try and talk to me about it. He just decided to give up and go, after six years. To me it seems like so much of an investment to just let go of so easily. What we had, in my opinion, is worth fighting for. But not to him, and that really hurts. What i do worry about is that he might be seeing someone else. I found out that he is taking a girl from his company on a trackday next week. I emailed him asking him to tell me the truth, is he seeing someone else or has he left me for someone. He replied saying no, this girl is just a friend. I'd never heard of her before. Don't know what to think.

 

Anyway, this whole situation has forced me to take a good look at myself and the person i've become and realise that i have to make some serious changes. Before we met I was truly happy, I'd been single for a few years and had a great life, lots of friends, very sociable, spontaneous and all the rest. Lately i've become a bore. There is no other word for me. So i've decided i have to get that girl back, the girl i once was, not for his sake but for mine. If it brings him back to me then great, but i have to do it for myself if i'm to be truly happy again. God i can't believe i'm saying this! This time last week I was a total wreck. I know this positivity probably won't last , but it feels good for now.

 

 

Day 3 NC today, i think about him every minute, still can't eat properly, mornings especially are a nightmare to get through, and i wouldn't wish the pain of loneliness on anyone, but i'm getting by.

[Irishguy1125]

Day four of NC. First day went fine, then the rest have been so so. The mornings have been especially hard, just the waking up with the first thought being I am not with her really puts a damper on my day. I find myself looking at her facebook and seeing the relationship status still "in a relationship" only hurting myself by waiting to see if it changes since we are on a so called "break" while she figures out if she still has feelings for me and wants to put her whole heart into our relationship. I am going to stop checking her FB and I try to stay busy with work and friends. I really appreciate the support system we have here, it's great that we can all get together and help eachother out.

[We515]

Hello Everyone,

Right now I feel like the Queen of the F Ups. My history is I can never leave well enough alone. It seems that he found out that I had been spying on him. And now he has taken further steps to distance me. I feel so stupid right now. I know that any respect that he had for me has vanished.

 

WARNING For anyone that is reading this and you want to get your ex back: YOU MUST GO COMPLETE NC UNTIL YOU CAN GET YOUR EMOTIONS IN CHECK. FOR AT LEAST 3 -4WEEKS. Or you will be like me 4 months in and feeling like complete crap. My friends have stopped calling. And some of our mutual friends have stopped speaking to me. At first they would check to see how I was doing, but after hearing me going on and on about things I guess they have had enough.

[heartbroken14]

we515 - i completely agree. My thought process in my situation is that i dont want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how miserable i am or if i am even HAPPY. The least amount of information he knows about me the least amount of chances i have to screw something up. Some may disagree - i have a close few (who are not mutual friends) that i pour my heart out too, but other than that - if i am asked.. i reply - i am doing well.

[heartbroken14]

so - i just chose to put you all through the redundant hell of hearing about how friggin miserable i am!! lol!. not funny... but it is.

[Irishguy1125]

So checked my facebook today, I see my ex of a few days puts up song lyrics for the song "ridin' solo" from Jason Derulo as her status, that makes it pretty clear how she feels right now, or she could just be trying to act like she is okay, confusing much?

[Eddie37]

Hey everyone, guess what? Your ex does not exist. No contact!

[TSandullo]

Ex who?

 

 

[Rotxsen]

Ex who?

 

 

 

Lol,agreed =] but yeah Loxxt needs to show her face a bit haha xD

 

Log, yes its true you are still on my mind every day that has gone by but that doesn't mean I will run into your arms after you guys broke up it's not my problem that the man you left me for wasn't so "perfect" as you described it.

[wildestkabs]

Day 28 NC. Have almost reached that magical milestone of 30 days!

[brandnewday47]

Day 28 NC. Have almost reached that magical milestone of 30 days!

 

Nice, congrats on the milestone! Funny enough that same day will be 35 days = 5 weeks for me. A celebration might be in order!

[Eddie37]

Day 26. Not a good day.

[wildestkabs]

will be 35 days = 5 weeks for me.

 

Has your ex tried to contact you at all so far? Mine hasn't. At this stage, I am a little divided on whether I would like to hear from her or not (which probably means that I have not moved on completely yet), though no way I am calling her.

[brandnewday47]

Has your ex tried to contact you at all so far? Mine hasn't. At this stage, I am a little divided on whether I would like to hear from her or not (which probably means that I have not moved on completely yet), though no way I am calling her.

 

Not since I distanced myself and cut her off, so to speak. I will say though that my implementation of this is late in the game compared to others, so I really don't expect to hear much from her for a while, if ever. The most likely time would be in a few months for my birthday, but I'm not holding my breath or I'll probably perish. ENA folks wouldn't be happy with that though

 

If she actually does, either there will be no response or I shall take my sweet time. Very different from how I used to respond to her fishing expeditions.

 

My goal though at this point is to regain my sense of self again.. there is no sense in me hoping for much from her at this point as she jumped to another relationship. If I do hear from her again hopefully she will wait until my control over myself is at a zen like level; and I am fully confident that I'm on that path to the promised land.

[kennyc90]

Day 3

 

I saw her facebook profile through my friends profile. I don't feel so well right now because I'm really really thinking about her right now. I hope tomorrow goes a lil bit better for me since I know I'll be keeping myself busy tomorrow. What's making things super worse is the fact that I know she's seeing someone right now and I cannot, absolutely cannot get that thought out of my head right now. I deserve her and I would do anything to fight for her back, he doesn't have the same love I have for her. ARGHH!!

[kennyc90]

Kenny, the more you can avoid reminiscing, looking at pictures of her, or checking out her various profiles...the better. I know it's hard but in a way, you're knocking yourself backwards a little bit every time you look. Forge ahead. You can do it.

I made the mistake of looking at her facebook profile through my friends profile. Damnit it's guaranteed she's seeing someone else and she's in total love for this guy. I don't know how the guy feels for her though and I want to know, but I really don't want to know at the same time.. you know?

[wildestkabs]

If I do hear from her again hopefully she will wait until my control over myself is at a zen like level; and I am fully confident that I'm on that path to the promised land.

 

+1. My exact thoughts. I don't want her to contact me when I am close to moving on or am developing an interest in someone else etc. Timing is the key.

[kennyc90]

+1. My exact thoughts. I don't want her to contact me when I am close to moving on or am developing an interest in someone else etc. Timing is the key.

I wonder what it feels like to move on from a person you truly love. I really want to get to know that feeling..

[brazilgirl21]

Heck I am back in the challenge. They say third time's the charm?

 

Day 1!!

[Animelover6764]

Day 6

 

it's hard

[brandnewday47]

Stay strong guys, we can get through this

[Animelover6764]

Stay strong guys, we can get through this

 

yea

 

i'm still hanging in there

[Irishguy1125]

Day 5 for me, mornings are still hard for me, at least I have been able to sleep unlike the first night. I miss her and I think about her but I am doing my best to stay busy with friends and work, well work sucks so that doesn't work but I try my best to go out with friends and not think about her but I find myself wanting advice from everyone I know just adding to my worrying. We are on a "break" or a slow down mode of our Long distance relationship right now so she comes home in 2 weeks...hm.

[wildestkabs]

mornings are still hard for me, at least I have been able to sleep unlike the first night. I miss her and I think about her but I am doing my best to stay busy with friends and work

 

I can relate to this. My relationship was long distance as well. Most of the days and nights I am okay but there are times when I will wake up in the middle of the night with a bout of anxiety. At other times, I miss her incredibly.

 

I have definitely realized the meaning of the term "void". Her leaving me has left a big void in my heart and life and I can feel it and see it and no matter what I do - work, date others etc - it never seems to get filled, at least not right now.