THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Bane17]

Day 1 (end of play)

 

I got two texts off her. One asking for my sons child maintenance which I didn't reply to and then one another hour or so later about my son putting his own shoes on correctly (he is only 18 months bless).

 

I left it a few more hours and then rang her to speak about our sons achievement. I could instantly tell she was off with me so asked her what was up, she said me getting in contat for no reason in which I explained I just wanted to talk about our son. I said I wouldn't bother though as she is now obviously back with her latest ex who doesn't like her speaking to me and hung up.

 

She texted me again so I rang in whih she just turned around and called me a "wanker" - one thing about me (whih is a bad thing really) is I will ALWAYS defend myself. I told her if I was a wanker, then what is her boyfriend who see's her as a game and a sex object. I then went on to tell her I hope she enjoys the next time she is around his family and they ALL know her business and he can heck up on her at any time (whih he was bragging to me about earlier).

 

Since then we haven't spoke... I'm a penis and just keep pushing her away. Don't see why she just can't be civil for sake of our child. She is only ever OK when I am with her in person.

[tujna]

Day 16 is almost over. 28 days since I haven't seen him.

 

I had 4 calm days in which I almost came to terms with everything that has happened to us in the last years or so. But not quite because since yesterday I have been having hard time again. I hope it is the beginning of the week thing and things get better as the week porgresses. I will be on my own studying for the next 18 days, so far I was spending the weekends with friends. This will be the next serious challenge on my way.

 

He has been showing interest in what I do but has not called. I am afraid I will blow it if he calls. I still have very strong urge to see him. I am trying to overcome this desire to be with him, it pulls me back. There is a potential reason to see each other next week but this would be very dangerous for me, so I will try to divert it. I still love him but would not reconcile for what he was offering me during the last several months. This is the longest I have ever ignored him. I hope he has noticed it.

[Struggling23]

Got a text today deleted and continued on.

[FriendnorFoe]

all this workin out is paying off, my body is starting to look defined again in a long time, I am very proud of the work I have done on my mind and body during NC and I love myself before her or anyone else, sounds kinda narcisstic but its a good mentality to adopt, dunno, if she does eventually wanna come back I dont know if I am going to be willing to share myself with her...haha

[Tell Me Why]

These past two days have felt like an eternity. I moved out on Saturday, we had brief contact that day and so Sunday was my first real day of NC. She actually called, I was on a plane at the time and it went right to voice mail, the voice mail was just her thanking me for leaving the house so clean when I moved out and said she hoped everything with my new apartment was going well.

 

Today was Day 2. I thought about her all day. She didn't contact me and it has made me feel worse. I just wish she would call me and want to talk to me. I just wish she were here with me. I just wish I could hold her. I miss her a lot but I know I have to stick with NC and stop worrying if she calls or not.

[ScorpiGal83]

all this workin out is paying off, my body is starting to look defined again in a long time, I am very proud of the work I have done on my mind and body during NC and I love myself before her or anyone else, sounds kinda narcisstic but its a good mentality to adopt, dunno, if she does eventually wanna come back I dont know if I am going to be willing to share myself with her...haha

 

I know what you mean! I bought a pair of jeans a month ago which were really clingy and tight-fitting but the button was broken (on sale really cheap) and I had it fixed FINALLY and I put them on this morning and they're baggy all over. WOO HOO

 

I am really happy with the progress I've made in terms of stamina and muscle tone. It's amazing what the human body can do in such a short time. Working out is the way to go!

 

Day 33 of NC. I bought "the road less travelled" today, and plan to read it asap. it looks like some really good, wise stuff, which i need badly right now.

[Cat76]

Day 7

 

Feeling ok today. I'm feeling quite determind at the moment.

 

Hope everybody else is ok

[YesIam]

day 5 of NC

 

i felt good yesterday

but today not so well

could it be becuz i got no work to do today ?

[pace of ace]

Day 28

 

I feel kinda odd. I'm proud at nearly making the target but i don't feel i've advanced very far in my healing during the spell. I started really positive and now i feel really negative.

[hesnotworthit]

DAY 29

skool was meh. its amazing how much i hardly think about him anymore. Its not like im getting distracted from not thinking about him, i just dont. I remember that first month after the break up, i thought about every minute, even when people talked to me, i was still subconciously thinking about him...everything related back to him.

NC has made me forget his existence in a way, but helped me move on and heal...so i dont need to remind myself of him all the time, because he's no longer a part of my life.

Its true. Im not saying anymore, "but my life sucks without him", because he hasnt been in my life for almost a month, and my life hasnt sucked.

Its funny how after a bit over 2 months after the break up, people still tell me that they where in shock that i ever dated him, because i can do 10 times better! And its true. I think right now i need to be single although...i feel like im healed, but im still uncertain that something may tip the boat...plus im still learning about how to make myself happy..and im only just reconnecting with the happiness i had before i dated him.

Haha, some random yelled from his car "whats your number?" at me when i was walking home from school today...yep, shes still got it...haha

[vertigoxo]

Day 30. 1 month! WOOT WOOT!

 

1 month, still strong. I'm very proud of myself! I still keep having those pesky ex dreams, but I woke up feeling indifferent still. Went to school, caught up with a friend of mine. We were near the school cafeteria (everybody waits here before school starts) and we were talking, and I turned my gaze and, in the sea of many faces, I saw my ex looking dead straight at me with the most apathetic yet semi-evil stare. I thought to myself, "... Ew."

 

LOL! Oh well. I felt indifferent seeing him, it was amazing. He had an ugly hair cut. Still moving on.

[FigureItOut]

The dreams are still very strong, and still no word from him. I'm okay today. Still miss him, am worried about never hearing from him again, and somewhat blame myself, but it's not overpowering me. I went for a good run last night, and planned two trips to the beach yesterday for May!

[Qut81]

I guess its day 1 again since I emailed him yest, after 30 days NC. I dont know why I did that to myself. I shouldnt of emailed him. He never responded. I was doing fine now I cant stop crying. I have a mtg in 30 minutes and I cant stop crying.

 

Why doesnt he care? He had such a hard time ending communication with M (the girl he dated before me) even when we were together he would send her messages on myspace and talked to her on the ph. He still talks to her to this day, however, he could care less about how Im doing. The only time he picked up the phone was when he wanted to have sex. So why did he make me his gf? If she meant so much to him why didnt he just be with her instead of me? I wouldve been much better off. I dont think Im strong enough to get over this. I just want God to take me, Ive seen enough in my life. All I see in the future is saddness. I would rather not be here to deal with anymore heartbreak and pain. I went out with a really nice guy last night and all I can do is cry and think about how he never emailed me back. What is wrong with me? We only dated 6 months and 4 months after the breakup I am still feeling this way. I dont know why I am surprised, its obvious that I am just an unlovable person. I need to realize that so I dont get hurt anymore. I need to guard myself and not let myself get attached to anyone else for this reason. What I really need is to pull myself together before this meeting.

[wanttobehappy]

Day 5 - after closure

 

A good day, I sometimes thought about him, but I could redirect my thoughts to something else. The only thing that bothered me is, last night I dreamt of him (one dream out of a series of dreams). He was upset and he said he cheated on me. Why should I dream like that.. I hope it's not because it's HIM, but because he's a "symbol" of something I feel strongly (negative) about.

[pace of ace]

Firstly, i'm sorry you're having such a hard time, i know how hard getting over someone you love is.

 

Secondly, you ARE a loveable person. We all are. Just because this person didn't work out for you doesn't mean nobody else will. He clearly wasn't the one for you and that lucky man is still out there waiting to meet you.

 

Use the pain of him ignoring your reaching out as motivation to move on from this guy. If he can't be bothered to respond to you and at least care about your feelings then he isn't worth the trouble.

 

Stay strong and you'll get through this.

[Cat76]

Answer to qut81

 

Firstly, i'm sorry you're having such a hard time, i know how hard getting over someone you love is.

 

Secondly, you ARE a loveable person. We all are. Just because this person didn't work out for you doesn't mean nobody else will. He clearly wasn't the one for you and that lucky man is still out there waiting to meet you.

 

Use the pain of him ignoring your reaching out as motivation to move on from this guy. If he can't be bothered to respond to you and at least care about your feelings then he isn't worth the trouble.

 

Stay strong and you'll get through this.

 

Very good advice. For me, the longer it goes on where my ex doesn't contact me makes me more determind. Why would we want someone in our life that ignores us? It just makes me feel indifferent.

 

I know it is hard, but your remembering what your ex was like when you were in a relationship and both made the effort. For whatever reason it ended, when it ends NEITHER of you have to make the effort anymore.

 

You won't believe it now, but you can and will find someone else, but just concentrate on looking after yourself at the moment. You got to 30 days and you will get there and past it again.

 

Stay strong hun

[pace of ace]

Answer to qut81

 

 

 

Very good advice. For me, the longer it goes on where my ex doesn't contact me makes me more determind. Why would we want someone in our life that ignores us? It just makes me feel indifferent.

 

I know it is hard, but your remembering what your ex was like when you were in a relationship and both made the effort. For whatever reason it ended, when it ends NEITHER of you have to make the effort anymore.

 

You won't believe it now, but you can and will find someone else, but just concentrate on looking after yourself at the moment. You got to 30 days and you will get there and past it again.

 

Stay strong hun

 

 

 

How you doing cat?

 

I'm 2 days away from day 30.

 

It's kinda weird because i'm expecting my ex to be in touch at some point. She sent me a text about 12 days ago 'cos my birthday is coming up..... We've stayed in touch since our split and we're on decent terms.

 

I haven't actually announced NC with her so i'm really expecting a text any day from her. It's kinda making me anxious 'cos each day that she doesn't text makes me think she's stopped caring

 

Is that weird???

[le_sex]

no only human! my ex recently promised shed go to a music festival with me she recently promised me this, ive been asking to meet with her again as the last time i visited her i told her bluntly i didnt want to get back together and just talked about other women i was with after her i really want to meet her to tell her i was only saying them things because i was hurt and that i really love her.

[Cat76]

How you doing cat?

 

I'm 2 days away from day 30.

 

It's kinda weird because i'm expecting my ex to be in touch at some point. She sent me a text about 12 days ago 'cos my birthday is coming up..... We've stayed in touch since our split and we're on decent terms.

 

I haven't actually announced NC with her so i'm really expecting a text any day from her. It's kinda making me anxious 'cos each day that she doesn't text makes me think she's stopped caring

 

Is that weird???

 

Hiya, I'm ok. I thought me and the ex parted on good terms (eventually), but obviously not. He's just not interested. I'm not bitter, just going to move on.

 

I got an email from his mother (yes I have LC with the ex mother in law - how funny). Haven't replied yet, but I will, it's not her fault her son is a idiot..LOL.

 

I feel good today because I was chatting to someone I met on line and I sent some pics from a photoshoot I did last year and he asked me if I was a model...

 

I have self confidence and self esteem issues so I thought he was talking a load of rubbish, but it was nice to hear. Maybe one day I will put my pic on here on!

 

It's not weird to think they've stopped caring. To be honest I've kind of convinced myself that my ex doesn't care and it makes it a little easier to deal with the fact I'm never going to see him or hear from him again. But thats just the position I'm in. It may be different for you, like you said you parted on good terms, you never know whats going to happen.

 

Do you want to hear from you ex?

[le_sex]

my point is after i tell her how i really feel or she doesn't want to meet or go to the concert ill cut contact.

[Qut81]

Firstly, i'm sorry you're having such a hard time, i know how hard getting over someone you love is.

 

Secondly, you ARE a loveable person. We all are. Just because this person didn't work out for you doesn't mean nobody else will. He clearly wasn't the one for you and that lucky man is still out there waiting to meet you.

 

Use the pain of him ignoring your reaching out as motivation to move on from this guy. If he can't be bothered to respond to you and at least care about your feelings then he isn't worth the trouble.

 

Stay strong and you'll get through this.

 

Thank you for saying that. I hope it is true....

 

I was thinking of sending this to counteract the "I miss you" email:

 

"I have to apologize for sending that email. I am seeing someone and Im sure you are too, therefore, it was really inappropriate. I just sometimes think about how hard it was for you to stop communicating with M and how easy it is for you to stop talking to me. Even after we were together you still sent her messages on myspace and email, after we broke up you couldnt wait to see her again. I guess I have to realize that you just dont care about me like that. It hurts but its obvious you dont care about me or how Im doing, and thats ok. Thats life.

I really just miss your sense of humor. "

[LemonCheesecak]

Day 25

 

I am alive.

[Tanzi]

Talked to my ex for 5 hours last night. At the time it was so nice, we talked like we used to, he wouldn't let me stop talking to him. Told me how nice it was to talk and all that. I've woken up this morning feeling horrible, and I bet he doesn't even want to get back together with me. Hah. I'm an idiot. I hate him so much Why did he have to talk to me for 5 hours?!

 

Where do I go from here?

 

Sounds like you are at Day 1 again!

 

I wished I had seen this thread yesterday it may have helped me not to break NC.

 

I broke up with my ex-boyfriend 8 months ago and we have remained "friends" since. We have even been away on holiday together. For my sake now though I have had to end the friendship.

 

All the time I have been hoping that we would get back together. I have tried several times to end it but have failed. Thats why I have decided to join this challenge. I ended the friendship initially 4 days ago. However, yesterday I sent him a text after seeing him disappear on Yahoo when I signed in. How stupid was that really. It makes no sense. I know I have to block and delete him from yahoo and MSN but I don't have the courage. And as for the rule where you can't visit such things as Facebook sites etc - that is a difficult one for me as I have been doing so everyday. Why do we do that? We are just torturing ourselves. However, I haven't yet today - so here goes ...

 

Day 1

 

I have made no contact with him and have not visited any of his sites (oh God, yes I did - I was showing a friend something ... for a laugh - arrgghhh does that count?). Superdave advise please. I'm absolutely rubbish at this.

[tujna]

Thank you for saying that. I hope it is true....

 

I was thinking of sending this to counteract the "I miss you" email:

 

"I have to apologize for sending that email. I am seeing someone and Im sure you are too, therefore, it was really inappropriate. I just sometimes think about how hard it was for you to stop communicating with M and how easy it is for you to stop talking to me. Even after we were together you still sent her messages on myspace and email, after we broke up you couldnt wait to see her again. I guess I have to realize that you just dont care about me like that. It hurts but its obvious you dont care about me or how Im doing, and thats ok. Thats life.

I really just miss your sense of humor. "

 

qut81, I am sorry, I know how hard it is for you but you have to STOP. Please stop. It is for your good. Do not send anything anymore, not even this last letter. There is just no sense. Another 30 days will go and you will feel so much better. Don't do it. It will not help you. It will only harm you. The best message you can send to him is that you are moving on and you are fine without him. The way to send this message is NC.

[FriendnorFoe]

I find myself watching shows we used to love turning to laugh with her but she is not at my side, family events, birthday I would invite her or vice versa, no longer. Just lying in bed telling her about my day or asking about hers, telling her not to worry about the * * * * * es or * * * * s at work, your so much better than that. Joking about stupid stuff we found funny(very similar sense of humor.)thumb wrestling, slaps, Having tickle fights, although it would usually end up with someone getting hurt(usually me, gettin' elbowed in the face)...lol, sounds kinda dumb, but it was fun. This is just a reflection of my recent thoughts, no pity needed here, been doing fine thus far, just realizing she warmed my heart as a partner but also gave me fun and happiness as a friend. I miss my friend.