Getting back together really does happen!

[LexieGirl]

Replying to this because yesterday, I had an all-day "date" with my ex! He was the big love of my life and I broke up with him a year ago because he wouldn't move forward with me...anyway, it's still complicated but he admitted he still loves me, has thought of me every day since we've been apart and it was a wonderful date. We were both so excited the night before, we couldn't sleep and kept texting each other. (I posted elsewhere though, because he ended the date rather strangely and I'm not sure whether he will ask me for a second one or not...)

 

But! There is hope. He says he feels we are meant to be together, timing has always been our issue. I'm hoping things continue to move forward, it just might have to go slowly. I believe there is always a way when there is true love. He kissed me so many times during our date, and kept saying how much he's missed me, how good it felt to have me in his arms again.

 

Fingers crossed for me, please!

[SuperMotivate]

Hey Valavoo, a lot of people on here are either jaded, bitter and hurt about their situations but don't let that deter you from making your own threads!

[valavoo]

A lot of people on here are either jaded, bitter and hurt about their situations but don't let that deter you from making your own threads!

 

I did notice that. Some people here are kinda borderline mean. But I like this forum a lot anyway. Would the mods dislike it if I made another thread?

[SuperMotivate]

Valavoo, unless you're being a posting terrorist I highly doubt the Mods would mind if you created another thread. Pay those people no mind, just gotta take it with a grain of salt.

[valavoo]

[jitterbug]

So...I have an interesting story about myself. I recently got dumped by the love of my life...that's awful and I hope we work things out. But recently my other ex, from before my recent ex, also broke it off with his girlfriend. We have stayed in touch for the past few years anyway, but we recently started chatting about our current problems and it lead to reminiscing. Now, I have no interest in reconciling with this guy as I'm completely in love with my recent ex, but if I was interested, I'm 90% sure I could easily start things up again. He's said a lot of very surprising things, and said being with me was the best time in his life. We broke up 3 years ago. I'm really surprised that he feels the way he does, because although I ended it, it was kind of mutual. He didn't try to fight it or ever ask us to try again.

[iheartabigator]

Hey, I just figured I'd stop by and post a personal story of my own since I've been thinking of my ex a lot recently.

 

I hope it doesn't rub you guys off the wrong way, since in this story I am 1) the dumper and 2) never reconciled with my ex but I am hoping you understand a lot of the times your exes still think of you very much.

 

Long story short, I dated this girl all throughout university back a long time ago. We were somewhat high school sweethearts, since our friendship/connection bloomed during the last year of high school for both of us. She was honestly the best girlfriend I ever had, and I want to point out that our relationship was weighed heavily down by two things: we were from different cultures and her parents wanted her to marry within her own race, and I was a complete unmotivated bum back then and basically had no ambition in life.

 

She was very, very, very, very close with her mother. After dating for 7 years secretly, her mother finally found out and it was chaotic. My girlfriend at this point had her life set - she was done school, she was interning for a very successful career, and was ready to move to the next stage of her life. We were both 27 at this point. I had wasted my entire young adulthood, taking casual jobs but never being ambitious about a career. Her own mother put her foot down: either give me up (job-hopping unambitious not-the-correct-race boyfriend) or she'd give her own daughter up. My ex-girlfriend was THE BEST. She obviously chose me, asked me to elope with her and just run away from our current lives, and told me she'd find a job and be the main income provider while I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. I selfishly agreed and we settled on a future date once her internship ended.

 

During that small period of time, I noticed her often crying due to what I assume was the stress of a very uncertain future. I knew she was committed to giving up her family and probably a very cushy job just to make things work out with me in the upcoming years. One day it just hit me how much she was giving up for me (a complete loser), how old we were both getting (we weren't high school kids anymore and I couldn't bring myself to do that to her, so I texted her that we were over. I went completely cold turkey on her, it was probably one of the most painful events of my adult life so far. She called me pretty often and e-mailed me a bunch during the follow up year, and I just did my absolute best to ignore them.

 

It's been years now and we've never been in contact since. I don't know if I made the right call back then, but I sure hope I did. I don't think I deserved her. I know I hurt her a lot, but I honestly don't think I had it in me to make her sacrifice her family and her career so we could be together. She worked hard for her life, and her mom has been the world to her since the day she was born. To this day, I absolutely miss the bejesus out of her. If I could go back in time, I'd definitely have made something out of myself earlier and maybe it could have changed some things around. And I'd definitely have cherished our last moments together a lot more.

 

I know some of you probably think of me as a scumbag and I deserve it but if there's a message in my story, it's that a lot of you are probably in the same shoes as my ex, and I'd honestly say I still absolutely love her to pieces even though it's been years since I last heard of or seen her. I'd get back with her in a heartbeat if the world somehow gives me another chance but it's not something I hold on to. I hope she's doing well in life, and I hope she lives a happy and wonderful life.

[PhoenixesChick]

Hey, I just figured I'd stop by and post a personal story of my own since I've been thinking of my ex a lot recently.

 

I hope it doesn't rub you guys off the wrong way, since in this story I am 1) the dumper and 2) never reconciled with my ex but I am hoping you understand a lot of the times your exes still think of you very much.

 

Long story short, I dated this girl all throughout university back a long time ago. We were somewhat high school sweethearts, since our friendship/connection bloomed during the last year of high school for both of us. She was honestly the best girlfriend I ever had, and I want to point out that our relationship was weighed heavily down by two things: we were from different cultures and her parents wanted her to marry within her own race, and I was a complete unmotivated bum back then and basically had no ambition in life.

 

She was very, very, very, very close with her mother. After dating for 7 years secretly, her mother finally found out and it was chaotic. My girlfriend at this point had her life set - she was done school, she was interning for a very successful career, and was ready to move to the next stage of her life. We were both 27 at this point. I had wasted my entire young adulthood, taking casual jobs but never being ambitious about a career. Her own mother put her foot down: either give me up (job-hopping unambitious not-the-correct-race boyfriend) or she'd give her own daughter up. My ex-girlfriend was THE BEST. She obviously chose me, asked me to elope with her and just run away from our current lives, and told me she'd find a job and be the main income provider while I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. I selfishly agreed and we settled on a future date once her internship ended.

 

During that small period of time, I noticed her often crying due to what I assume was the stress of a very uncertain future. I knew she was committed to giving up her family and probably a very cushy job just to make things work out with me in the upcoming years. One day it just hit me how much she was giving up for me (a complete loser), how old we were both getting (we weren't high school kids anymore and I couldn't bring myself to do that to her, so I texted her that we were over. I went completely cold turkey on her, it was probably one of the most painful events of my adult life so far. She called me pretty often and e-mailed me a bunch during the follow up year, and I just did my absolute best to ignore them.

 

It's been years now and we've never been in contact since. I don't know if I made the right call back then, but I sure hope I did. I don't think I deserved her. I know I hurt her a lot, but I honestly don't think I had it in me to make her sacrifice her family and her career so we could be together. She worked hard for her life, and her mom has been the world to her since the day she was born. To this day, I absolutely miss the bejesus out of her. If I could go back in time, I'd definitely have made something out of myself earlier and maybe it could have changed some things around. And I'd definitely have cherished our last moments together a lot more.

 

I know some of you probably think of me as a scumbag and I deserve it but if there's a message in my story, it's that a lot of you are probably in the same shoes as my ex, and I'd honestly say I still absolutely love her to pieces even though it's been years since I last heard of or seen her. I'd get back with her in a heartbeat if the world somehow gives me another chance but it's not something I hold on to. I hope she's doing well in life, and I hope she lives a happy and wonderful life.

 

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have a question, if you don't mind.

 

When you say you would get back together with her in a heartbeat, what prevents you from reaching out? Is it fear or resistance or simply that you don't think it would work? How come you don't try again?

 

Thanks in advance for your answers, I really appreciate it.

[Rustysuit]

Giving this a good bump because this thread deserves it. Hopefully more people will share their stories

[musician05]

I look on this forum a lot to see if there are any new stories about people getting back together with their ex's. I do it just so that I can have some hope, and I really hope someday I can post my story on here to give others confidence that having hope pays off. In the meantime, I am going to make a list of actual stories of people I know that broke up and got back together. Please post your stories here too and we can put a little bit of cheer into this forum.

 

1. My friend was dumped by his girlfriend of 4 years. They were broken up for a year and a half and he tried everything to get her back. One day he was with his friend talking about her and she called him right then to talk about something trivial, and he went over to her house. They got back together and now they are engaged.

 

2. My friend's sister and her husband broke up for four years and now they are married with 3 kids.

 

3. My friend broke up with her high school sweetheart when we were 19 and they got back together a few years later and have been together ever since.

 

4. My other friend broke up with her high school sweetheart when she was a sophomore in college and they just got back together and now they live together.

 

5. A friend of my ex's was so sad about a girl forever, talked about her all the time when we were out at the clubs, couldn't believe they broke up, etc....now they have been back together for over a year.

 

6. My friend and her boyfriend dated for a few years, broke up for 9 months, now they are engaged. She says their relationship is better than ever now they are back together.

 

7. My friend was hung up on this guy forever, he would go back and forth and never commit, now they are living together and she is going to have a baby. They are really happy and in the end it worked out great.

 

That is just some of the stories I know off the top of my head. Please post any stories of reconciliation that you know of so that we can have some cheer in this forum.

Sometimes it really doesn't happen and have false hope and have to realize that things won't go the way you planned out to be i wish i could say the same for me my ex left me for a rich man that is an executive vice president for a mortgage company and now they travel everywhere together and they went on a cruise together this year and now are going to california and vegas and he buys her everything 😢😭 i guess she made the right choice to leave me for a rich man that can give her the world

[Rustysuit]

Sometimes it really doesn't happen and have false hope and have to realize that things won't go the way you planned out to be i wish i could say the same for me my ex left me for a rich man that is an executive vice president for a mortgage company and now they travel everywhere together and they went on a cruise together this year and now are going to california and vegas and he buys her everything 😢😭 i guess she made the right choice to leave me for a rich man that can give her the world

 

This is a thread about success stories, not sad ones.

[valavoo]

Do any of you lovely (lucky????) individuals know what made your exes go from being cold and distant (NC or whatever) to contacting you again? What goes through the dumpers head to make that happen? Love to hear some stories or theories.

[Disenchanted]

I'm inspired to type up some true stories I know to make myself and hopefully others feel better.

 

1. My sister and her girlfriend. They met in the Philippines when my sister went for originally a month but she met someone special and she ended up staying for 3 months. Those 3 months were a solid foundation and they continued dating long distance (Canada and Philippines - 12 hour timezone difference!) for the next 3 years. During that time, Skype and Facetime weren't around so they found ways to talk to each other everyday (phone cards, Yahoo messenger, etc.) During those 3 years, my sister had someone interested in her and the long distance was taking its toll. I remember her telling me "I feel so jealous when I see my friends go to the movies with their partner." So she dumped her girlfriend and started dating the other girl who was interested in her. Heartbroken, her ex from the Philippines also had a rebound. When she told my sister about the rebound, my sister was crushed and that's when she realized that she wants her back. It's laughable now to think that the time they were broken up was only a little over 2 weeks. But it happened, and my sister's girlfriend got granted permanent residency in Canada. Now years later, she's a citizen and her and my sister have a house, a car and a dog together.

 

2. My cousin - My cousin and her boyfriend are currently 9 years in, but they had a hiccup. When her boyfriend moved away, they drifted apart for a year in 2012. She told me that during that time, they hardly talked because she was ignoring his texts to the point where he was calling her mom and siblings to please talk to him. She also briefly dated someone else during the break. He sent her pleading videos of himself crying, which she still has in her computer and would tease him about it now. Anyway, that year long break ended when he went back to her city. She knew he was back but refused to see him or else she would want to get back together. He surprised her at work one day and the rest is history.

 

3. One of my friends and her boyfriend at the time were broken up for 9 months. I first met her in the middle of those 9 months. It was clear that she was still hung up on him but was dating around. They broke up because they were fighting a lot because he was going through a period of being unhappy with his choice of going to a certain college. A new guy started hanging around our group of friends and our group all thought they were PERFECT together. She was attracted to him but was turned off by something he did on their first date (he spat on the ground LOL). I think that was just her picking on little things. Anyway, conveniently after their 2nd date and it going well, her ex made contact. He wanted to meet so she agreed. She was hesitant to get back together but knew that their connection was real. Myself and our friend group were talking to her about her choices: the clean slate (new guy) or the one she went through a breakup with. She chose her ex because she said that he fits her like a glove. They're happily married now.

 

4. Another friend was dating a guy and they had 2 break-ups. Each break-up was 3 months of NC and how they got back together was they ran into each other and started talking. They had a 3rd break-up and it's now for good. I know this isn't a happily ever after, but they got back together TWICE after 3 months of NC!

 

5. My sister's friend (another lesbian story). My sister's friend got dumped over something really stupid, like being irritated about something to do with cable tv account. Then her ex cut her off and she was devastated. During that time, we knew that her ex was just making any excuse to end it because it was such a stupid reason. My sister's friend was so devastated that she started hanging around other lesbians and post it on Instagram. I guess her ex saw it and got jealous and they got back together. They were broken up and NC for a little less than a month.

 

6. Someone I know who is about to get married next spring has been with his fiancee for about 6 years but they had been broken up before.

 

7. Hopefully one day, I can come back to this thread and type the story about how my most recent ex and I got back together. *fingers crossed*

[nick66]

I have posted here before, mainly in the Relationship with X thread, and somewhere in this thread a few years back. Short story, my wife and I were married for 16 years, divorced for a year, and have been remarried now for 2 years. Everything is great and we couldn't be happier!

[Hawnfawn]

I have posted here before, mainly in the Relationship with X thread, and somewhere in this thread a few years back. Short story, my wife and I were married for 16 years, divorced for a year, and have been remarried now for 2 years. Everything is great and we couldn't be happier!

 

Do you mind giving more details in regards to the time within that year you two were apart? Were there children involved that required you two to continue to communicate or was it strict no contact? How did you guys reconcile or start that process to reconciling? Thanks. And glad to hear things are still going well.

[nick66]

Well, we were divorced in December of 2013 I believe, but still lived together until April of 2014. We have four kids, and we had no problem living together. She thought that she was unhappy, but realized that she had it pretty well according to her. She asked if we could spend the Labor Day weekend together, so I agreed. She moved back in December of 2014 and we went from there. She was back in love pretty quickly, and stated that she loved me all the time. I needed time, and it took me a few months to say it back. She was fine with that.

 

We were married again in March of 2015. Things are great, and she says she loves me now more than she ever has.

[Ames34]

I have read up to page 171 of this thread so far.. I think it's really helping. A lot of the posts actually make me realise that even if things don't work out the way I hope them to, I will still be okay. Also that my wellbeing is important, and I need to rediscover myself again...

 

I read this on another blog today so thought I'd post... *note this is not my story and I don't know these people*, but thought it was a nice perspective on a breakup that was caused by external circumstances.

 

"In my case in this one particular relationship of a long term situation. I was able to remain friends because it had nothing to do with his cheating on me, it had everything to do with what he personally had to deal with day to day because of a serious injury that would affect him for the rest of his life. It was nobody's fault except the person who caused the injury. This individual needed a friend and support more than he needs a girlfriend. I can easily be that for him because of the delicate situation. So in this case yes it was possible to remain friends.

 

Update: as I remained his friend, with time he grew to really trust me. He made a commitment and we married in Feb. 2017. He knew that my reasons weren't out of selfish ambition but because I truly cared. There are many reasons why you should remain friends and there are many reasons why you shouldn't be friends. I understood and followed the obvious."

 

My situation is similar, though caused my depression/ family issues rather than an injury. So this helps me to feel that I am making the right moves so far.

[Disenchanted]

Well, we were divorced in December of 2013 I believe, but still lived together until April of 2014. We have four kids, and we had no problem living together. She thought that she was unhappy, but realized that she had it pretty well according to her. She asked if we could spend the Labor Day weekend together, so I agreed. She moved back in December of 2014 and we went from there. She was back in love pretty quickly, and stated that she loved me all the time. I needed time, and it took me a few months to say it back. She was fine with that.

 

We were married again in March of 2015. Things are great, and she says she loves me now more than she ever has.

 

Congratulations!

[vesper]

This is a wonderful thread! No wonder it's so popular

[Disenchanted]

I was once one of those people who read every post in every page until i read a post on page 22 or 23. Someone said that this thread is only giving people false hope.

 

That may be the case, but this thread is a testament of "what is meant to be will be." All we can hope for is for us to be as lucky as the true stories written here.

 

Giving everyone positive vibes!

[valavoo]

I was once one of those people who read every post in every page until i read a post on page 22 or 23. Someone said that this thread is only giving people false hope.

 

That may be the case, but this thread is a testament of "what is meant to be will be." All we can hope for is for us to be as lucky as the true stories written here.

 

Giving everyone positive vibes!

Ignore those posts LOL

[Spaulding]

In the process of divorce and not a reconciliation story but wanted to share. I've read almost this entire thread this past few weeks but first time posting. My wife and I are both 33. We married after 8 years of dating so 7 married. We went to the same high school and had classes, knew of each other but never hung out. It wasn't until she graduated a year after me that her boyfriend and her split because he moved away for college and we hooked up hanging out with friends. Had a lot of great years and took our time. So we married and things were great. But after 15 years things caught up to us and it became stale. She left 4 months ago, we're living separately, and she's starting the divorce proceedings. I also did all of the classic mistakes for a few months before giving her space. But now I've respected and agreed to the divorce (even though I want to save it) and it's been NC or LC. I've come to realize her feelings will change but it's got to be on her own. I can't change her actions. Anyways what I wanted to say was reading posts from others has been really helpful thinking about getting yourself back. If she wants out, it'll be her loss and that's the attitude to emplore moving forward. Maybe we work it out someday and I'll post about it

[valavoo]

I'd love to hear some more relevant stories. Especially if they're about long distance!

 

I actually have one for once! My new friend told me his love story. They got together and were together for about four ish years. Then, they broke up (he broke up with her). He said there might be a chance to get back together in the future but that it would be best to move on. They went NC for 5 or 6 months? I've no idea how the girl handled it. However, my friend was talking to another friend about settling down and realized he wanted his girlfriend back. They began LC, which turned into contact, which turned into them getting back together. All of this was done long distance and I think they only saw each other in person right before they got back together. It seems to be working for them now.

[Thani]

Maybe it's still too early for me to write in here, but this thread helped me through my darkest hours a few months ago and so I want to give back a glimmer of hope to those of you who are still hurting so SO much... Especially those who experience the same kind of pain as I did... Being cheated on, hearing that your beloved fell in love with another person.

 

My ex-fiancee of 8 years who I always loved dearly left me in February for another woman - or rather, he admitted that he fell in love with her and so the story continued. He never really did LEAVE me, but I accepted it, his choice and let him go. What could I do?

Now, 5 months later we slowly try to rekindle our relationship, which was once so wonderful. He ended his affair because he realized that I'm the one who he wants to grow old with.

We're trying to take it slow... we talked a lot and try to heal our hurt hearts.

 

We were NEVER in NC. We tried, but we couldn't make it. None of us could, it always felt wrong. He lives in his own appartement now and both of us did a lot of internal growth and maturing during the last few months. We both were quite young when we got together and I think the old relationship would have failed anyway - one day.

 

I hated the whole process but I thank the universe for the experience. It made me so much stronger, indiependent and I learned to live on my own - and both of us got to know each other on a deeper, darker level.

 

We both really hope that it works out - we still have a lot to go through... I need to trust him again and he needs to get over his shame and regret. But even if it doesn't work out in the end - at least we tried

[Kurochou]

Just thought that I would post in this thread because it helped me through the rough times of the break up.

 

Me and my ex dated for 2.5 years since we were 17 and LDR for 8 months in that 2.5 years. Anyway he started getting distant from me when I went to Australia for a holiday with my family for a month at around March-April.

 

A day after I got home he asked for a break and even though unwilling I gave it to him. He said he was confused, that he was young, that he didn't want to grow up and he wanted to live his life. Two weeks after that I couldn't handle watching him party and getting drunk and just acting like a jerk so I told him I agree with the break up on April 28. I also told him that I would start NC, and he begged me not to do it because he couldn't handle me not being in his life but I told him this is what he wanted.

 

So I started NC from Day 1. He first messaged me on Day 9 I think, but I ignored it and then three weeks later he sent another message asking me to reply, I never opened it. I simply deleted it. I started to work on myself since Day 1, I finally got my glasses, started driving, did some yoga, swimming. I went out with my friends and had fun, the first two weeks was hell and I cried a lot at night but I picked myself up after that and did all that I could to move on.

 

A week before I went on holiday I went out to town with some of my mates and he was there and I didn't see but my mate said told me he had seen me and was watching me dance with some other guy. A week after that I went on holiday with my family and while I was there he texted me asking me if I wanted to pick up my stuff, I didn't really care anymore and I've mostly moved on so I told him that I'll ask my sister to pick em up after school one time. And a week later he messaged me when I was coming home from my trip. I didn't reply till I was home and he asked me if I wanted to catch up. I said I didn't feel the need to catch up.

 

Then a few days he found out I was having lunch with his mum and sister and his mum said he was cut about it and told her why I don't go see him and she told him that "It's cause you broke up with her " anyway when he found out he asked me to come see him when I come over to see his family. I didn't reply but later that afternoon he texted me pretty much begging me to come out and have a talk with him after work.

 

I wanted to get it over and done with but I was still hesitant. I told him alright, I'll give him 10min. So we met up and at first we just talked about what we were up to the past two/three months and then I asked him, "why did you ask me to come out" and then he said "I miss you, like so badly. I haven't slept in 3 days, I've been crying. All I've been thinking of is you." I told him that this is what he wanted and he said that he thought it's what he wanted and he's made the biggest mistake of his life. That he's realised now he much he actually loves me. I told him that I told him I would move on and I did, I told him I didn't want the old relationship. There was a lot of issues. And he begged me to let him prove that he's changed, that he will fix the hurt and fix the relationship. He asked me out to dinner at our normal date place and I wasn't willing at first but after talking some more and seein that he does want to fix things, I agreed.

 

So it's only the beginning of our reconciliation but it happened! I didn't think it was going to happen and I was perfectly happy to have moved on with my life, since he had GIGS, I thought it would last for years but I'm thankful it only lasted 3 months.

 

I asked him yesterday, so what made you miss me? And he said that I never replied to his messages and he hated it and he didn't know why he hated it so much. That whenever he was out with his friends he felt empty. And he remembered how no matter how bad his life was, I always made it better. And I seem like I was having fun that I didn't need him anymore and he felt lost. He said that he kept opening our shared photos on messenger and read all the captions that I had put on photos that I took of him and it made him cry. And realised how much I had loved him and how much he took me for granted.

 

So sorry this was a long post but I just felt like I had to share it. All in love we dated for 2.5 years. From 17-20. Broken up for 3 months. Right now I feel like our relationship is stronger and I hope it will last and ever since we first started hanging out we realised that the connection was still there. NC really helps guys!

 

On another note:

(This is an example of why u need NC)

A friend of mine broke up with her BF of 3 years in the beginning of this year. She's still SO not over it and posts all over Social Media how much she misses him and how much she wants to see him and it's been about 5-6 months and she still likes all his posts even tho he has unfriended and unfollowed her. I found out from my ex(now bf) that the guy really hates her now, thinks she's annoying and won't leave him alone. That's why he was thankful that I went NC cause it made him miss me and made him feel like I can move on easily.

 

Another story, a friend of mine dated this guy for a year in High school and they broke up at some point. I don't know what happened and if they had no contact but 2 years after the break up I just found out a month ago via Facebook that they've started dating again since March.