Getting back together really does happen!

[Kayzzz]

Like many here, this thread helped me get thru the pain of a breakup especially in the first 2 weeks or so. i swore i will post here if i ever reconcile with my ex. we are not officially back but he has contacted me again.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me almost 2 months ago. we have a significant age gap where I am the much older one. we have been together 3 years. we had a fight one night, and then all of a sudden he wanted to break up. i thought it was just one of those silly fights. 2 days later, i went to see him again to make sure that it's what he really wanted. and it was like my world collapsed when he said he really meant it. we have been both busy the past few months with our own new things, his job and studies and mine too. so i thought the stress got to him. since he is much younger, he doesn't have the experience to handle this level of stress. but he told me all sorts of reasons, like i am in a hurry for him to grow up, that he has given me everything and not getting enough back, etc etc. lots of crying on both sides. then that was it. i did text him up to 3 days after that but for 5 message i sent him, he will reply once and i can feel that he's keeping his distance. but as you all know, going NC is the way to go. it was so hard to do. checking my phone all the time. not eating, sleeping, crying, etc. so i started doing voice memos instead every time i feel like i wanna text or call him. and talked to friends about it. each day seemed like an eternity.

then yesterday, after 7 weeks of NC, he called me. he was at the airport about to go on a 2 week holiday. he said, he needed to hear my voice, misses me and that he is not happy without me. he said all the things that i've fantasized to hear. i should have been jumping up for joy but instead i went into self preservation mode. i focused more on his holiday rather than the relationship. but we agreed to meet when he has come back from his holidays. we'll see. we have to take it slow. the old relationship is dead and we have to start over. change things.

we all read it everywhere but it is true. that if you handle a break up gracefully and give your partner space like they asked, there's a real chance that they will come back. even though i've accepted it, his call took me by surprise coz i was on the path of moving on.

[CaliSunrise]

Like many here, this thread helped me get thru the pain of a breakup especially in the first 2 weeks or so. i swore i will post here if i ever reconcile with my ex. we are not officially back but he has contacted me again.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me almost 2 months ago. we have a significant age gap where I am the much older one. we have been together 3 years. we had a fight one night, and then all of a sudden he wanted to break up. i thought it was just one of those silly fights. 2 days later, i went to see him again to make sure that it's what he really wanted. and it was like my world collapsed when he said he really meant it. we have been both busy the past few months with our own new things, his job and studies and mine too. so i thought the stress got to him. since he is much younger, he doesn't have the experience to handle this level of stress. but he told me all sorts of reasons, like i am in a hurry for him to grow up, that he has given me everything and not getting enough back, etc etc. lots of crying on both sides. then that was it. i did text him up to 3 days after that but for 5 message i sent him, he will reply once and i can feel that he's keeping his distance. but as you all know, going NC is the way to go. it was so hard to do. checking my phone all the time. not eating, sleeping, crying, etc. so i started doing voice memos instead every time i feel like i wanna text or call him. and talked to friends about it. each day seemed like an eternity.

then yesterday, after 7 weeks of NC, he called me. he was at the airport about to go on a 2 week holiday. he said, he needed to hear my voice, misses me and that he is not happy without me. he said all the things that i've fantasized to hear. i should have been jumping up for joy but instead i went into self preservation mode. i focused more on his holiday rather than the relationship. but we agreed to meet when he has come back from his holidays. we'll see. we have to take it slow. the old relationship is dead and we have to start over. change things.

we all read it everywhere but it is true. that if you handle a break up gracefully and give your partner space like they asked, there's a real chance that they will come back. even though i've accepted it, his call took me by surprise coz i was on the path of moving on.

 

The happiest day of my life was when my ex called me to meet up and reconcile. Now 2 years later I'm right back to waiting for that call again. I'm happy for you. I hope it all works out.

[Raindrop22]

Oh ya I got another story for you guys. It's a girl I knew back from high school.

 

 

She dated this guy in junior high for a few weeks, he dumped her and they moved on. One day during her senior year of high school she was crying about a breakup that had happened. Her ex from junior high texted her that night and asked her why they never took another chance at being together. Needless to say, they dated, for married 2 years later at 20! And now they are 26.. With 2 beautiful kids and are as happy as can be. They truly are so cute together! One of my favorite love stories.

[Serenity585]

My mom and dad met when they were about 13 and went back and forth for the next decade of their lives. They were young and afraid of the future. Now, they're married, have 4 children, and just celebrated their 22nd anniversary.

 

I think all relationships have to end in one way or another. Maybe some space, distance, or both. Nothing can stay 100% great all the time. What really matters is that two people are willing to put in the same amount of effort to meet a common goal.

[PostmanPat]

Hey guys, have read every single post in this thread and gave me the smallest amount of hope I could ever ask for. I really appreciated it.

 

Two weeks ago she reached out to me (after 4 months no contact, apart from me sending her a letter) telling me she is still madly in love with me and misses me everyday.

 

Yes I know my story involved infidelity but I'm extremely remorseful and praying I can do the right thing to make it work.

 

You can find the thread I created on this very board (thread ID: 514196).

 

I really hope I can add to some stories here as I have learnt some very important lessons I'm hoping I'll be able to share (and prove that once a cheater, not always a cheater).

[ashley828]

I'm new to this board (although I've been reading a lot of posts) but thought I'd throw a few stories that I know of out there:

 

1. A person very close to me was dating a man for about a year (maybe a little more or less, not sure) and it was exclusive and going pretty well. They had both been married before but were not recently divorced. One day, they went to a friend's wedding and she noticed he was acting weird and distant afterwards. A few days later, he wrote her a letter saying he wanted to break up. She handled very well (didn't yell or argue or beg) and just accepted it. He called once a few weeks later to see how she was and she talked to him, but otherwise they didn't speak or see each other for a year. He started dating someone else and dated her for at least several months. She dated a few people, but was devastated by the break up and didn't meet anyone special. After a year, she got tickets to a concert and thought that he was the only person she could see going with. She had heard that he had broken up with his new girlfriend so she called him. They got back together pretty quickly after that and were married soon after. They have been married now for over 20 years.

2. The second couple I know less well, they are the parents of a friend. They were married, got divorced, married other people and were both married for around 10 years. They both then got divorced from their new spouses and re-married each other!!

3. I read an article by the author Jennifer Weiner about her current husband. They dated for the first time around college-ish time, broke up for a while, and then dated again. She wanted to get married, he didn't, so they broke up. She wound up marrying another guy and had a few kids. She got divorced from that guy after 10 years or so and wanted to reconnect with her first love, so she sent him an email. He had never married and they got back together. They got married recently. She tells a funny story that when she reunited with her now husband after being apart for 10 years or so, she went to her now father-in law's house and he said "you again?".

 

I try to think about these types of stories when I get sad about my relationship breaking up. From every story that I've heard about people reuniting and being successful (meaning not breaking up a few weeks later), some time has to pass (like many months to years). This helps me to be patient and to keep from running after my most recent ex.

[allibaidoo4]

Hey guys, have read every single post in this thread and gave me the smallest amount of hope I could ever ask for. I really appreciated it.

 

Two weeks ago she reached out to me (after 4 months no contact, apart from me sending her a letter) telling me she is still madly in love with me and misses me everyday.

 

Yes I know my story involved infidelity but I'm extremely remorseful and praying I can do the right thing to make it work.

 

You can find the thread I created on this very board (thread ID: 514196).

 

I really hope I can add to some stories here as I have learnt some very important lessons I'm hoping I'll be able to share (and prove that once a cheater, not always a cheater).

 

AWWW that is so beautiful!Congratulations. I hope you guys work out and please try not to make the same mistake again. If you start expressing urges do try to communicate with her or even a good friend or therapist.Congrats!!!!

[PostmanPat]

AWWW that is so beautiful!Congratulations. I hope you guys work out and please try not to make the same mistake again. If you start expressing urges do try to communicate with her or even a good friend or therapist.Congrats!!!!

 

Thanks so much - means a lot. I'm praying it works out, it's such a balancing act at the moment as I can't let things get too intense just yet... just feeling each other out, but I can tell there's still so much amazing chemistry there.

 

All I can say is 4 months NC was SO hard, but SO important. Surround yourself with great people.

[missy25]

I have a friend whose boyfriend broke up with her. He didn't know what he wanted and wanted space. she did the usual, begging and pleading but she found the more she pushed the farther away he went. She then respected his wishes and let him be, as hard as that was for her. Six months later they were back together and have now been married for five years, very happy. He just needed to be sure it was what he wanted. It seems to be a theme, that the push, pull effect happens. They can smell desperation and it's a turnoff.

 

 

I'm currently on the same boat. I initiated the break up though he wanted a break, but I think a break is too much for me to handle if he decided he wants to leave for good. We've been together for almost 2 1/2 years, and while things were great, we certainly had our ups and downs. I know that he loves me very much, and he mentioned that he is not sure of what he wants. At one point, we were talking about the future and settling down together. I asked him recently if he saw a future with me and he said yes. However, he feels pressured and overwhelmed right now and he doesn't know what he wants in life or our relationship. I feel like the more I try to talk to him and work it out, the more he thinks it will not work out. Anyway, as much as I mentally want to move on, I miss him terribly. One day, I wish that I will get to post a successful story.

 

On the other hand, my first love and I dated for a year and a half on and off LDR. Just when I was about to see him, he cancelled on me the last minute! After almost 2 years he calls me up and tells me that I was a good gf and he wants to start over. I didn't want to because I was already over him and I realized that he had not treated me well when we were together. My current ex was so much better in so many aspects.

[Alicia59]

My friend Samantha announced today that she and her ex are back together. Her ex left her way back in August so it took almost 9 months. She pined over him, cried over him for months. Really made an effort to improve herself, went to the gym a lot, cut her hair, the usual. Dated another guy that she soon broke up with because she found him annoying and clingy, and wasn't over the ex. Now they're together again!

[mustlovedogs]

Did the ex have any relationships in that time?

[loveislost]

Alicia, thats awesome! I am having a rough day today missing my ex like non other.. could you tell in more detail about what happened with her previous ex bf? why he left her. was it GIGS or another woman?

[Quidam]

My ex just called me saying we should have dinner or coffee to talk over the fact that after 8 months she cant move on and get over me...

 

Cliff:

 

She dropped me when we had a 14 month child... I had to take 6 months paternity relief since she ed up with her taxes and has to pay back a crazy amount. She left me because I froze when in the same week I got the news I was to become a father and that my girlfriend had 6 figures of debts in taxes to repay.

 

She slept with someone else a month after she left me... A one time thing she felt horrible about (thats what she says)

 

The breakup was terrible, she went nuts crashed the car 2 times, slightly assaulted me cause she thought I was recording her with my cell.

 

We went into mediation with lawyers I got destroyed and robbed since their is a flaw in the law where I live. She could take everything we had and I couldn't say anything.

 

Basically she feels the breakup was the best thing she did because since then I got a therapist, went back to my formal athlete shape I had when we met and finally left the job I hated for so long. Also I had an issue where i was online gaming in order to cope with the whole $ situation it became an issue.

 

She now wants to give it a shot (she also got herself a therapist and is finally living a lifestyle where she fixed the affective dependency she had that was cursing our relationship)

 

Just bought a new place I'm moving in 3 weeks.

 

 

I still love her

I hate seeing my baby girl only half the time

I feel betrayed and it bugs me when she says the breakup was a goos thing and that she did not betray me

 

 

Any inputs guys?

[Raindrop22]

You should put this in your own thread. This is a place for successful reconcile stories!

 

 

It may feel like betrayal but sometimes space is important to figure yourself out. Be grateful that she came back but that she feels like a better person for you now. It's all about gratitude my friend.... Oh and perspective

[surya888]

bu-bump? I'd love to hear more stories.

[FloatingPretzl]

I'm [F24] back together with my boyfriend [M27]! We were together for three years, lived together for one, were long distance for one, before breaking up (it was a hell of a mess: the long distance, he stopped communicating with me and neglected me, I had an emotional affair, he was feeling down about his previous relationship, we had started taking new paths in life) -- the last straw was that he broke up with me when I told him I was not ok with being on the back burner on a "break" while he dated other women. We were both crying and saying we still loved each other. Went NC (but didn't block him on anything, he didn't try to contact me either, spare one email) for over a month. I reached out with an email linking to a crazy news story I couldn't bear not sharing with him after I had started seeing someone new and felt a little bit less vulnerable. He responded but said he wasn't ready to talk. Then a few weeks later, he reached out again and we started talking on skype. We started talking more regularly for about three weeks and then met again and reconnected. We essentially fell back into dating but tried to take it slow over the course of two months. He didn't want to say "I love you" for many weeks which made me super nervous, but he finally said it again last month and things have been really solid for the past 3-4 months after the breakup. We found a lot of perspective on what we mean to one another, and the value of what we have. Neither of us are about to let that go again. I was on this forum a lot, reading this thread, before we got back together and I never thought it would work out for me. But here I am, he's coming up tomorrow for another week-long visit and I cannot wait to be back in his arms again.

[Wolfshook]

Heard another one today, my HS friend was with this girl for about last two years of our HS, afterwards I heard that they broke up, today I just seen photo of them 2 happy together,it seems that they are back together (I've heard of them breaking up more than a year ago, idk when they got back together and wether they were nc).

[Obssessive]

Hi,

 

I came on this site a 2 years ago after my ex dumped me looking for some hope and inspiration to get her back. I promised myself that if I got her back I would post on this site to inspire others. Back then I had in my head I would post an inspirational story about how my ex realised what a mistake she had made and how much she realised she loved me and came running back blah blah. Well here I am and the story is quite different from what I expected it would be. Yes I got her back and all that but the main thing I wish to share is the difference in myself and how important it is to your life whether you get your ex back or not.

 

I had been with my girlfriend for 6 years and we had always had an up and down relationship due to my depressive tendancies and health anxieties. I would drive her mad worrying about illnesses and obsessing over little stuff that meant nothing. 2 years ago we moved from a house I owned to one which we bought together. This should have been an amazing time, new beginning, a house that was ours. Unfortunaetly I became obsessed about my health and it was the last straw for her. One rainy sunday she came home and told me it was over. I cried I begged but she had had enough. Over the next few weeks she spent most of her time at her friends house and would only come home once a week to get clothes etc. In all this time I texted called begged and generally annoyed the hell out of her. I booked into to see a counsellor to help my health anxiety, told her I was changing and that it would be better. This is important! she didn't want to be with me but I would not accept this and could not leave her alone trying to explain why it would work and how I would change. I didn't stop to see how she might be feeling, how hurt and how upset she was too.

 

This went on for 4 months while we decided about what would happen with the house etc. I only saw he once, maybe twice a week. During this time I would make sure that whenever she was home I would be there cooking dinner or cleaning trying to show her how different I was. None of it worked. although we were civil it was never like it was before. I would sit at home or work crying and moping wondering how I could live without her, how to stop this pain, how to get her back.

 

There came a point where I was called in by my boss and basically told my work was suffering and that I was close to losing my job. I went home that day even more depressed than normal. I felt like ending it. I told my ex this in a teary phonecall. It only made the situation worse. She could see it for the emotional blackmail it was. I want to tell you that she was adamant that it was over and that we would never be back together. That night was the longest of my life. In the small hours of the morning I realised a simple truth. SHE DIDNT WANT ME ANYMORE.

 

The next day was different, although still depressed I felt oddly relieved that it was over. I had no need to let the hope of getting back with my ex hold me back and control my every waking action. I was free I suppose. I continued with my anxiety counselling but now I really focused on it. This was for me and my future, not for my ex or anyone else. It was to benefit me in the long run not to appease a person that no longer wanted me. I joined a gym with my mate and started working out. A cliché I know but after a month of dragging myself there while still depressed over my ex I started to actually enjoy the gym. I bought some new clothes and started to go to the pub with my mates while looking up some old friends. I developed a life outside of my ex. During this time I was still making sure I was home when my ex was and still cooking her meals etc. I didn't mind that to vbe honest as that's just the sort of person I am but I realised I was planning my life around when my ex was back. I made a desiscion that from then on I would be out the house if there was somewhere else I could be.

 

it had been around 6 months since we had split with my ex rarely in the house. I didn't text or call her unless it was absolutely neccassary and I never mentioned our relationship. I had my own life now. I was fitter, better dressed and socialising without making a timetable around my ex. I even went on a few dating sites and met a couple of people for drinks etc. It was liberating and I realised my life had been defined by my ex and not by myself.

 

One day out of the blue while I was out my ex texted me asking why I was out a lot lately. I politely told her I was moving on and trying to enjoy my life. She stared to comment on my appearance when I saw her and that I seemed happy and had a lot going on. After a few weeks she found out through a friend that I had been dating and also that I had still been going to counselling and doing very well. I don't know whether all these things got my ex thinking about me positively again but what I do know is this, IT DIDNT MATTER WHAT SHE THOUGHT. I was doing all this for myself and not for someone else. I was concentrating on me and not what my ex would think. I felt good, I looked better and I had a busy life. I was single and it felt great.

 

It was probably 3 months since I had really started focusing on myself. I had a text from her asking if we could talk. I called and she asked if we could try again as she could see how I had changed and was surprised that I had stuck to the counselling to sort myself out. You know what? I was shocked, it was totally out of the blue and I realised something which stopped me in my tracks. I didn't need to get back with her to make myself happy. I was happy with myslf and who I had become. I was now in a stronger mental and emotional state than before. I still loved her but she was no longer my sole reason for being. Over the next few weeks we chatted and spent time together discussing all that had brought us to this place. We cleard the air and became close again.

 

This ramble is at its end but I would like to make some points which I feel importnant to getting your ex back or even if you don't.

 

1) resist the temptation to call/text or bump into them to beg or plead for them back - they don't want to hear it, no matter what you say they have made their descision.

 

2) invest in yourself, new clothes ,new look, join a gym all the clichés really work but you have to work at them till they do.

 

3) feel sad but only allow yourself a period during the day to do it. get off your butt and do something else.

 

4) work at what it was that made them leave. It will only benefit you in the long run.

 

5) be polite -resist the blame game, don't talk about the relationship

 

6) move on - sounds hard and it is but you will never have any hope unless you get on with your life whether they come back or not you will be better for it.

 

Hope this helps someone somewhere.

 

Thanks

[surya888]

Thank you, Obssessive, for your detailed story. It offers the same sound advice as most success stories on here. The only thing I'd like to know is how did you convince yourself to move on and get busy with making your life better? Does it just happen when you hit rock bottom? Did you get tired of moping around? You mentioned you were anxious and depressed, I can imagine it was very very hard for you to get back on your feet again. As many other members of this sub I think I'm at that stage now. I know there's no quick fix/recipe to get there, I was just wondering what your thought process was. Thank you in advance.

[shiner501]

An inspiring post Obsessive. So pleased for you and your SO. Thanks for sharing.

[bobajob]

Hi,

 

I came on this site a 2 years ago after my ex dumped me looking for some hope and inspiration to get her back. I promised myself that if I got her back I would post on this site to inspire others. Back then I had in my head I would post an inspirational story about how my ex realised what a mistake she had made and how much she realised she loved me and came running back blah blah. Well here I am and the story is quite different from what I expected it would be. Yes I got her back and all that but the main thing I wish to share is the difference in myself and how important it is to your life whether you get your ex back or not.

 

I had been with my girlfriend for 6 years and we had always had an up and down relationship due to my depressive tendancies and health anxieties. I would drive her mad worrying about illnesses and obsessing over little stuff that meant nothing. 2 years ago we moved from a house I owned to one which we bought together. This should have been an amazing time, new beginning, a house that was ours. Unfortunaetly I became obsessed about my health and it was the last straw for her. One rainy sunday she came home and told me it was over. I cried I begged but she had had enough. Over the next few weeks she spent most of her time at her friends house and would only come home once a week to get clothes etc. In all this time I texted called begged and generally annoyed the hell out of her. I booked into to see a counsellor to help my health anxiety, told her I was changing and that it would be better. This is important! she didn't want to be with me but I would not accept this and could not leave her alone trying to explain why it would work and how I would change. I didn't stop to see how she might be feeling, how hurt and how upset she was too.

 

This went on for 4 months while we decided about what would happen with the house etc. I only saw he once, maybe twice a week. During this time I would make sure that whenever she was home I would be there cooking dinner or cleaning trying to show her how different I was. None of it worked. although we were civil it was never like it was before. I would sit at home or work crying and moping wondering how I could live without her, how to stop this pain, how to get her back.

 

There came a point where I was called in by my boss and basically told my work was suffering and that I was close to losing my job. I went home that day even more depressed than normal. I felt like ending it. I told my ex this in a teary phonecall. It only made the situation worse. She could see it for the emotional blackmail it was. I want to tell you that she was adamant that it was over and that we would never be back together. That night was the longest of my life. In the small hours of the morning I realised a simple truth. SHE DIDNT WANT ME ANYMORE.

 

The next day was different, although still depressed I felt oddly relieved that it was over. I had no need to let the hope of getting back with my ex hold me back and control my every waking action. I was free I suppose. I continued with my anxiety counselling but now I really focused on it. This was for me and my future, not for my ex or anyone else. It was to benefit me in the long run not to appease a person that no longer wanted me. I joined a gym with my mate and started working out. A cliché I know but after a month of dragging myself there while still depressed over my ex I started to actually enjoy the gym. I bought some new clothes and started to go to the pub with my mates while looking up some old friends. I developed a life outside of my ex. During this time I was still making sure I was home when my ex was and still cooking her meals etc. I didn't mind that to vbe honest as that's just the sort of person I am but I realised I was planning my life around when my ex was back. I made a desiscion that from then on I would be out the house if there was somewhere else I could be.

 

it had been around 6 months since we had split with my ex rarely in the house. I didn't text or call her unless it was absolutely neccassary and I never mentioned our relationship. I had my own life now. I was fitter, better dressed and socialising without making a timetable around my ex. I even went on a few dating sites and met a couple of people for drinks etc. It was liberating and I realised my life had been defined by my ex and not by myself.

 

One day out of the blue while I was out my ex texted me asking why I was out a lot lately. I politely told her I was moving on and trying to enjoy my life. She stared to comment on my appearance when I saw her and that I seemed happy and had a lot going on. After a few weeks she found out through a friend that I had been dating and also that I had still been going to counselling and doing very well. I don't know whether all these things got my ex thinking about me positively again but what I do know is this, IT DIDNT MATTER WHAT SHE THOUGHT. I was doing all this for myself and not for someone else. I was concentrating on me and not what my ex would think. I felt good, I looked better and I had a busy life. I was single and it felt great.

 

It was probably 3 months since I had really started focusing on myself. I had a text from her asking if we could talk. I called and she asked if we could try again as she could see how I had changed and was surprised that I had stuck to the counselling to sort myself out. You know what? I was shocked, it was totally out of the blue and I realised something which stopped me in my tracks. I didn't need to get back with her to make myself happy. I was happy with myslf and who I had become. I was now in a stronger mental and emotional state than before. I still loved her but she was no longer my sole reason for being. Over the next few weeks we chatted and spent time together discussing all that had brought us to this place. We cleard the air and became close again.

 

This ramble is at its end but I would like to make some points which I feel importnant to getting your ex back or even if you don't.

 

1) resist the temptation to call/text or bump into them to beg or plead for them back - they don't want to hear it, no matter what you say they have made their descision.

 

2) invest in yourself, new clothes ,new look, join a gym all the clichés really work but you have to work at them till they do.

 

3) feel sad but only allow yourself a period during the day to do it. get off your butt and do something else.

 

4) work at what it was that made them leave. It will only benefit you in the long run.

 

5) be polite -resist the blame game, don't talk about the relationship

 

6) move on - sounds hard and it is but you will never have any hope unless you get on with your life whether they come back or not you will be better for it.

 

Hope this helps someone somewhere.

 

Thanks

 

Me and my ex split up 2 months ago and have not spoken for the last 9 days, theres a part of me that knows that its all over but theres also a part of me that really wants her back, after reading so much stuff stuff on the net about how to get them back i realise that the only way is the approach you took. My question is when you were doing all the begging and pleading did you think that it would work as you thought you knew your girlfriend, as when we originally split up i thought that by pleading and begging and saying i was going to change she would come back, obviously this hasn't happened?

[Bigdeal123]

For those who have read my story... My ex of 5 months (Christmas eve day breakup) reached out to me last Monday asking to meet with him. Knowing how calculating and prideful he is, I was really confused as why he wanted to meet with me. I went to meet him since I was never really over him or the relationship. They say things happen for a reason. I didn't beg, plea or ask him to reconcile and there he is. Confessing and admitting that he made the biggest mistake of his life by breaking up with me and how he missed what we had(no other woman in the picture either). He couldn't stop crying and I was crying as hard. Words cannot describe how emotional yet rational we both were as I was starting to realize the guy wouldn't have come down from his horse if he had any other intention rather than getting back together. Out of no where and because I couldn't stand the pressure any longer, I asked why am I here?" and he answered Because I want to start over. You have my full commitment and I understand you may not be able to trust me. I am a traditional man and I want to take care of you!" His exact words! I owe the return of his to this forum, all those who advised me to stay strong and NO CONTACT, not for his sake but mine, so that I can heal and move on rather then manipulate him and the relationship toward me. He asked me to move in and cohabitate since this is what couples do and he asked me to marry him. He said he wants to leave a legacy and my children and their children are going to be his legacy and that he wants to be a great grandfather to them!!! I may not be posting as much any more as I will need to concentrate on my relationship and making it work since I know it does take 2 to tango. I just want everyone to know to keep working on yourself and make it a goal to heal and move on either way, with or without your exes. I was on the verge of giving up not only on his return but dating and getting into another relationship for ever in total honesty! And here I am, holding my head high and big huge smile because the man I thought I lost to some non sense of his, is back and most likely than ever, he is here to stay! Keep faith and keep NC... I wish you all the happiness out there bcs we all are worth it!

[Nectar1990]

Hi this is my first post here ever ,

Ill tell u my story of getting back together.

Me and my girl were together for approximatly 3 years before breaking up and we were also engaged(more pressured into it) i couldn't get to know her more if we weren't engaged so we did it..

After a while everything was good and i was 20 while she was 17 when we were engaged, but still we were young and without enough expirience. After 3 years we broke up she dumped me and i was completely broken inside i lost a lot of pounds and cried pleaded and begged ,always send something during her birthday and during valentine then after 6-7 months i gave up and sent her a final email were i wrote im moving on..

After that she began writing me back and eventually we got back together,after 2 years i began neglecting her and was stressed out with getting married with her because i had to get the money i forgot to give her my old self ,now we broken up for like 2 months i left her but soon got back at her that it was a mistake because i trully do love her but she's had enough and told me that she doesnt care anymore about me and that she wants to see whats out there maybe a mor suttable person who she would like.

I feel awfell and VERRY guilty of not showing her during the years what she ment for me and i still think even now that shes the one..

I went to her work 4 days ago and we talked and she sayd to wait for her 6 months but as soon she went home she changed her mind because she doesnt trust me and doesnt want the drama and stuff also her parents are against her being with me ever again..

I didnt cheat on her always replied nicelly and still i want to have her back in my arms ahe for me is THE ONE i hope one day ill come back and share my story and that she will be my wife i truly believe in faith.

She now is 23 and i am 26

Im sorry for the long text and hope for all of u out there...

[Obssessive]

You know it's a hard question to answer. I literally was so low I could only go back up. I came to a point where I was embarrassed at how weak and needy I had become. So yes I guess I got tired of moping. It actually became almost laughable how I was. My friends were great but in the sense that they were getting fed up of me being the way I was. I think I became someone to avoid. Eventually I used up all there sympathy and became an annoyance, someone to avoid. That was probably the first step to taking a really good look at myself and how I was behaving. I have to say getting new clothes the gym etc really helped. At first it was to show my ex how over it all I was hoping to tweak her interest again, and you know that's ok because eventually as my confidence ògrew so did the realisation I was doing this for me first and fore most. I had to value myself and believe I was someone worth investing in. I hope that answers your questions somewhat. Please tell me if you needed more specific examples.

[Obssessive]

You know it's a hard question to answer. I literally was so low I could only go back up. I came to a point where I was embarrassed at how weak and needy I had become. So yes I guess I got tired of moping. It actually became almost laughable how I was. My friends were great but in the sense that they were getting fed up of me being the way I was. I think I became someone to avoid. Eventually I used up all there sympathy and became an annoyance, someone to avoid. That was probably the first step to taking a really good look at myself and how I was behaving. I have to say getting new clothes the gym etc really helped. At first it was to show my ex how over it all I was hoping to tweak her interest again, and you know that's ok because eventually as my confidence ògrew so did the realisation I was doing this for me first and fore most. I had to value myself and believe I was someone worth investing in. I hope that answers your questions somewhat. Please tell me if you needed more specific examples