Is it ok to ignore your Girlfriend/Boyfriend?

[Robert013]

It is not okay to ignore them, but it is okay to tell them you need a few hours of alone time space whatever to calm down. As long as they know it is okay just ignoring them is childish.

[SapphireNoir10]

He does know. And I just need to be alone to think some stuff over, I've told him that. And I think Im being reasonable.

[SapphireNoir10]

She says.

 

Ok guys I've text him saying he can come over if he wants to talk and im sorry for being immature.

 

Thank you for bringign me to my senses.

 

This is like the second time we've ever fallen out.

[Ac143]

He does know. And I just need to be alone to think some stuff over, I've told him that. And I think Im being reasonable.

 

Yes if you need time alone & he knows that you are being reasonable. The reason I asked about the phone being shut off is because if he does call he will wonder why you "had" to shut it off? This would make me more mad & I think you know it will get him ticked too so you are doing it. Which I think is alittle childish...Im sorry.

 

If he calls dont answer, but remember you are in a relationship & sometimes the other person might need to talk to you even if you want your cooling off period.

[SapphireNoir10]

I wont pretend Im not childish. Im human, I have my immature moments.

[yeawutever]

No because then they won't know what are the underlying issues, I much rather be straight forward about it then go on ignoring.

[jules76]

I think it's fine as long as you tell him or her "Look, I'm angry right now and need some time to myself. Please give me some time and space so I can calm down and so we can then talk this out rationally."

 

That way you are getting the time you need to calm down, and s/he is not left in the dark as to why you've left, you're not answering your phone, etc.

[Robert013]

He does know. And I just need to be alone to think some stuff over, I've told him that. And I think Im being reasonable.

 

If he knows that you need a little space and is not giving it to you then he is the problem. Very reasonable as long as you are willing to go back to the issue that caused the problem in the first place. Otherwise you are just running away from the problem.

[waveseer]

Each person should be able to have it the way that works best for them. If the ways are incompatible then so are the people.

[BrunetteBarbie]

well i dont rly think its ok to just disappear and ignore for hours/days,

if you need the time to calm down, then just say, Hey I need some time to calm down...Then its fine and doesnt count as "Ignoring".

(In my opinion)

[girl68]

Ignore no.

 

Give space yes. There's a difference. When we fight or get mad I'll give him some space and a little time to cool down. You do need a little time to gather your thoughts and time to cool down so to not say something you might regret. Ignoring your partner is a whole different thing to me. That means someone tries to call or come talk and you flat out ignore them?

My bf did that once and I was crushed. I did drugs that night. It did me absolutely no good. Now if he would have just said, not now- I need a little time we'll talk tomorrow. I might have been better off. Instead I came to sit next to him and tried to talk to him about what just happened he said nothing got up and left the house. No, that is not okay.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

I think it is terrible when people storm out and stay out all night where the SO doesn't know where the other person has gone.

 

I think if you're really angry and need to cool off, it's OK to say, I'm taking a walk for an hour or that you're going to your Mom's house for a while or that you need time to cool off and will talk later.

 

But to just leave and ignore calls and give no idea of where you are or when you'll be back, no, not OK.

 

It's also not OK to hound someone who says they need to cool off for an hour, i.e., they've asked for an hour break and you continue to call them 10 times in that hour trying to continue the argument.

[pumpkinmoon]

No, it's rude and unkind.

[whes]

I think "ignoring" is the wrong word here... I voted yes but I've got a different idea about it. I need time to think about things and come to terms with my own thoughts and anger, so I need space. I need distance. I cannot figure it out right away, so yes, I do technically ignore him, but he knows what I need and knows that I am not just not answering out of spite.

[_Asti_]

If it's something that cannot be resolved right then and there, I may take some time to myself, but I state that I would like some time to figure things out.

 

I've never intentionally ignored them and played games.

 

If I need time to cool off, I say it.

[mikem]

It depends alot on how the other person feels about it. If you are doing it to 'cool down', but it's driving your SO 'off the wall' then you are planting seeds for the demise of the relationship. To me, I think it's kind of a cop out, unless someone is being extremely abusive. But to turn off the phone when you are trying to work something out, to me is sign of disrespect and selfishness and 'all about you'. I question a person emotional strength and stability if they turn off the phone on their significant other, if that other person is trying to reach them.

 

I think it represents alot of selfishness and lack of conflict resolution skills. Again, if the other person is being abusive, that's one thing, but to switch off the phone because you are uncomfortable, to me isn't the right thing to do. Especially if it effects their SO in a significant negative way.

 

I dated a lady who did this, and to me it represented her lack of emotional maturity and her unwillingness to compromise on issues. She also used it as a 'weapon'...

[waveseer]

Calming down is a good thing, ask for time, a specific amount or a set time to pick it up where you left off. No leaving people hanging, that's cruel and unusual punishment.

[_Asti_]

I think its wrong, espeically if you're trying to manipulate the situation.

 

I straight up say that I need some time to either cool off, reflect or work things through in my mind and will contact him when I am ready to talk.

 

Sometimes you do need to cool off, and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

It's doing it on purpose, to have them sit and worry, get anxious, want to come back crawling, whatever..that is wrong.

It's very disrespectful.

[arcadefire]

I don't believe that you ignore someone you care about. If you're mad, take a night to sleep on it, but the conflict must be resolved asap in a calm manner.