Some girl slapped me today!

[Ellie2006]

I just talked to my parents, they said the same thing. She could just lie and say that groped her in the parking lot or something. So as of now I'm just letting it be and steer clear of her. She obvious has problems

 

Have you considered reporting her to an on-campus committee against sexual harassment?

 

I do understand the logic behind pressing charges against her for her actions; violence IS violence, regardless of the gender of the perpetrator and it should NOT be condoned.

 

At the same time, while I do not think one should be dictated by fear, I do think you have to prepare yourself for the worst-case scenario.

 

If you were to sue her, wouldnt you also have to prove that you have no prior history with this girl and that she is THAT crazy enough to walk up to a total stranger and engage in a conversation w/ him, follow him out to his car and then slap him for no reason. This might be difficult for you to prove, without any evidence of her past misbehavior or a note from her therapist or something.

 

It may also place you under a lot of scrutiny, which might not be something you want or need right now.

 

Also, even after going through all of this hassle of suing her and gathering evidence and whatnot, things still might NOT turn out well in your favor.

 

HOWEVER, after having said all that, I do want you to seriously consider filing a report to an on-campus support group SO THAT you can protect yourself from whatever bogus she flings your way in the future. Also, if you feel unsafe (about her misrepresenting you in any way OR her physically attacking you), then please do report her to campus police so that they have that report on file.

 

I just hope this is the last you hear from her and that this was just a one-time incident.

[RougeKali823]

Wow, she has some issues. You might need to alert campus police-for your own safety.

[PJPaul]

Well I'm not worrying about her attacking me lol that would be foolish of her as I am much larger than her. I'd never hit a woman but if she just starts swinging on me I'd be forced to restrain her.

 

But her spreading lies about me might become a problem so I see your point. I gotta look up in my book who to get in contact with

[Jeen]

You know, if this was some guy who came on to a woman and slapped her face because he was turned down the manager would have called the cops, the woman would get tons of sympathy, the guy would be in jail and no one would be advising her to let it go.

 

It's because of this attitude that some women feel it is OK to slap, hit or otherwise be violent with men. They know they will get away with it because it is not deemed important.

 

It's not OK for women to behave like this.

 

Ask the manager what he saw and if he saw her approach you in the store, follow you out to the car and slap you then press charges.

 

Yes it do happen and as a woman, I'm really not happy in saying leave it. But you have to look at the evidence, or the lack of evidence, it is giving her the playing field, if this were to go to court it will be more damaging than good for the op in this case.

 

"Sometimes you have to loose to win."

[Ellie2006]

Well I'm not worrying about her attacking me lol that would be foolish of her as I am much larger than her. I'd never hit a woman but if she just starts swinging on me I'd be forced to restrain her.

 

But her spreading lies about me might become a problem so I see your point. I gotta look up in my book who to get in contact with

 

Yes, please do look into that; you may first see if there is some sort of on-campus support for sexual harassment. They may then point you to other places you might file your report.

 

Also, I dont want to cause you needless worry BUT I dont think size has anything to do with anything; heaven's forbid, if she attacks you with a weapon of some sort and if you or someone else is not able to restrain her in time, you could get seriously hurt.

 

Take care of yourself.

[browneyedgirl36]

You know, if this was some guy who came on to a woman and slapped her face because he was turned down the manager would have called the cops, the woman would get tons of sympathy, the guy would be in jail and no one would be advising her to let it go.

 

It's because of this attitude that some women feel it is OK to slap, hit or otherwise be violent with men. They know they will get away with it because it is not deemed important.

 

It's not OK for women to behave like this.

 

Ask the manager what he saw and if he saw her approach you in the store, follow you out to the car and slap you then press charges.

 

I agree with this.

 

Paul, this girl has major issues, obviously, and if she were a man, she would NEVER have gotten away with this.

 

You have absolutely every right to not want to get to know someone -- whatever your reasons are, and you are under no obligation to say hello -- let alone talk to -- anyone you don't want to, no matter how friendly they think they are, no matter how persistent they are. This girl has extremely poor boundaries, to walk up to a complete stranger (because that's what you are since you had never even talked to her before), and act like you OWED her your interest. She is going to run into someone at some point who is not going to be as polite as you were, and she's the one who is going to get slapped by some other girl whose boyfriend she's hitting on relentlessly, or she'll find herself on the receiving end of a restraining order or some sort of discipline from your college because she's harassing people.

 

I think contacting the police is a good idea, but since you didn't do it right at the time it happened, I'm not sure how they'll respond or if they will do anything. My suggestion: If you see her at school, look away and keep walking. If she approaches you, put your hand up (like the "stop" signal) and say "Don't get any closer to me. I do not want to have anything to do with you. Leave me alone, or I will contact the campus police." Then, walk away. Hopefully, if there's a confrontation, people will be around, so you'll have witnesses. Then, if she persists, call your campus police/security and make a report. Harassment is something she can be expelled for.

 

I'm sorry you had to deal with this. Some people deal VERY badly with rejection, and they lash out in very random, crazy ways.

[PJPaul]

So I spoke with a nice lady in the main office today. I was the greeted by a guy that deals with student a fairs. I told him what happened and he asked me if i knew her name. I didn't, then he pulled up a profile on the computer and asked was it her. Sure enough he pulled up her picture like he already knew who it was. Apparently she likes to hit people. Since I had no prove that she hit me nor do I have proof that I didn't provoke her, plus it was off campus, there is really nothing they could do. He did put there was a "potential incident off campus" into her wrap sheet thingy and told me if she try's anything on anyone on campus that she'd probably get expelled since she is on thin ice as it is.

 

So for now i'll say far away from her

[Samedy]

That is an assault and she should be charged for it. Ask the store if they have a security camera - it may be on tape.

 

That would be a good idea. You don't want Loonie Tunes saying you said or did something you didn't. Best to get a record of it.

[Perfect Dark]

Anyway, that is horrible. Bet you were shaken up! Hope you're ok.

[grymoire]

Very sorry if I come accross as naive.. But why didn't you just slap her back?

 

Why all this calling the cops, pressing charges etc??? She slapped you and you can slap her back right??

[DN]

Very sorry if I come accross as naive.. But why didn't you just slap her back?

 

Why all this calling the cops, pressing charges etc??? She slapped you and you can slap her back right?? you can't. You can only use reasonable force to defend yourself and slapping back is rarely seen as reasonable force.

 

It would be seen as an affray and that gets both participants into trouble.

[grymoire]

No you can't. You can only use reasonable force to defend yourself and slapping back is rarely seen as reasonable force.

 

It would be seen as an affray and that gets both participants into trouble.

 

reasonable force? sorry i don't understand that term.

 

just in case if Paul had pushed her would that also get him into trouble???

 

see i am always confused with this thing.... in my country things are different. if a woman slaps me i can slap her back. in the USA i know that the rules are different and will get the guy in trouble. i am well aware that a guy cannot hit a girl even if she hits him. my female kicked me 2 times and i just kept quiet because i know i cannot hit her back. she is also an American. but this whole thing makes me feel angry though... why should some one just get physically hit and then be told not to hit back???

[DN]

Well, this is from the UK but it is probably much the same in the States:

 

link removed

 

The law does not allow you to retaliate, for example if you try to punish a criminal who committed a crime against you or your family. Punishing criminals is for the courts to decide and the courts do not accept people taking the law into their own hands

[grymoire]

Well, this is from the UK but it is probably much the same in the States:

 

link removed

 

Thx DN.

 

But clearly the woman that slapped Paul is not a criminal, is she?

[DN]

Technically, probably not. I am not a lawyer but in many jurisdictions it might be classed as a 'common assault' and he may have to press charges himself.

 

But if he were to slap her back the chances are that he would be charged with assault causing bodily harm and that is a criminal offence.

 

Again - not a lawyer and depends on the law locally.

 

But the crucial thing is the difference between self-defence and retaliation.

[metrogirl]

Good job is exercising control PJPaul. One day she is going to slap the wrong person and get her clock cleaned......

 

It's called street justice.......I don't condone it but I could see how it could happen here.

[quirky]

Mental. What a bizarre story, i think you did the right thing pjpaul, no need to involve the law and stuff, too messy unless absolutely necessary.

[PJPaul]

Well slapping her back wasn't an option for me. I was raised never to hit a woman and was taught if a woman comes at me swinging just restrain her if possible. Hitting back is the very very last resort. Considering she's like 5'5" and I'm 6 foot......not a good look at all

 

I not really worried much about her. Like many have you have said. She's gonna slap the wrong person one day. I just don't see how you can be in college and act like 6 year old

[grymoire]

Well slapping her back wasn't an option for me. I was raised never to hit a woman and was taught if a woman comes at me swinging just restrain her if possible.

 

That's her advantage right there... Lot of women know this... They know that a guy cannot hit back, that's why they behave the way they do.

 

No offense, but if you think Karma or something similar will take care of her you are wrong. Nothing bad will happen to her, she will be fine.

[JadedStar]

That is an assault and she should be charged for it. Ask the store if they have a security camera - it may be on tape.

 

Ohhh i totally agree.

She should NOT be allowed to do this and walk away.

 

No, don't slap her back, slap her with a police officer knocking on her door when you call in the assault. If it goes unfounded for any reason, at least she gets the message and the scare of having to answer for her actions.

 

I am angry for you just READING this!

[PJPaul]

That's her advantage right there... Lot of women know this... They know that a guy cannot hit back, that's why they behave the way they do.

 

No offense, but if you think Karma or something similar will take care of her you are wrong. Nothing bad will happen to her, she will be fine.

 

That may be the case, but for One, that's how I was raised. Second that's just who I am. I grew up in a not so great area so Ive been in my share of fights and I hated them all. Win or lose I felt the same afterward, like complete crap so I try to avoid physical confrontations with people. Men and Women alike

 

And I'm not worried about if she gets hers or not. I honestly don't care. Even if she did I'd probable never know. So I'm gonnna walk the other way and move on about my business.

 

Call me a chump or punk w/e I've heard them all. I know how to defend myself but I don't take pride in inflicting pain on people. In a year this incident wont even matter. If I had hit her back I'll be on my record till the day I died. I'd rather take the little bruise, walk away and be done with it

[waveseer]

At least you can take solace in the fact that you are light years smarter than she is. She had no guarantee that you wouldn't defend yourself. I wouldn't trade iq's with her for all the tea in china.

[grymoire]

That may be the case, but for One, that's how I was raised. Second that's just who I am. I grew up in a not so great area so Ive been in my share of fights and I hated them all. Win or lose I felt the same afterward, like complete crap so I try to avoid physical confrontations with people. Men and Women alike

 

And I'm not worried about if she gets hers or not. I honestly don't care. Even if she did I'd probable never know. So I'm gonnna walk the other way and move on about my business.

 

No offense, but if it did not bother you and you are gonna walk the other way then why did you start this thread?

 

I am not necessarily saying that you have to go and hit her now but I just cannot believe that she is getting away with this.

 

If the genders were reversed I can imagine the fate of the guy by this time.

 

Well... whatever.. you will make the decision that works for you.

[PJPaul]

No offense, but if it did not bother you and you are gonna walk the other way then why did you start this thread?

 

I am not necessarily saying that you have to go and hit her now but I just cannot believe that she is getting away with this.

 

If the genders were reversed I can imagine the fate of the guy by this time.

 

Well... whatever.. you will make the decision that works for you.

 

Well at the time it happened, yes I was highly upset! I was bottled up and needed to vent and complain about the stupid crap that just happened to me so i posted here. I'm over it now but after she hit me I was mad mad mad because I knew I didn't have it in me hit her ignorant butt back.

 

I say that I'd rather walk away, but i'd be an angry mo fo while I'm walking. Its honestly not worth dying for. People shot for stupid stuff every day. I've lived it, its not fun.

 

Yeah it sucks that don't get justice but almost a week later and I'm quite fine. Yeah it sucks to talk about and yeah people are gonna say "Ohh your a chump I would hit her back" That's fine, I really don't mind. Grown mature adults don't get into random fist fights in parking lots.

[yeawutever]

Wow what a crazy girl, hope you have filed assault charges. I bet if it was some other short-tempered guy and not you, he would have slapped her back. She should be careful what guy she doing that to, some men hit back, not cool. Then again, she would press charges if they reply back and get away with it, not cool either way.