Name Your Poison

[B12]

Your name…....was it a thorn in your side during childhood? Relentlessly teased by your classmates?…eg: Billy goat, April showers, etc… Most of us experienced some form of name tease back in the day. I lived through a summer of “Hey Beetlebum!!” and still suffer flashbacks when June bugs make their first appearance each season. The name Beetlebum was bestowed upon me by little Bobby R …..the terror of the neighborhood. The name Beetlebum had nothing to do with the insect. Little Bobby being the master of mental torture that he was, derived my tease name from a portion of my surname and tacked on “bum” for good measure. My pre-teen angst was developing nicely at this age, so little Bobby’s “gift” just helped push my self esteem a bit further south. A couple of years ago I heard that Bobby R. was doing time for various theft and assault charges. I hope, with every fiber of my being, that his jail cell is crawling with June Bugs. Karma…..hopefully. I sound bitter don’t I? Oh well.

 

Moving right along.....in my teen years, and thankfully free of the Beetlebum handle, I noticed that the “Name Game” hadn’t completely ceased. My sister’s friend Debbie Lipschitz still endured snickers at the mention of her last name. Poor Debbie couldn’t wait to get married and rid herself of her inadvertently offending name. A few years later Debbie’s prayers were answered when she became engaged. Unfortunately she became Mrs. Cockburn. Life is cruel sometimes isn’t it? Then there was long suffering Douglas. Doug lucked out and was born Douglas Hickey. I often wonder if people still turn his name inside out the way we did…..Hug Di*c*key wouldn’t be an easy label to live with. Either would Elvis Wong Yu…..honest, I actually knew the dude!!

 

On to adulthood….things got better. One experiences “pet names” in relationships….Honey, Sweetie, Snookums, Pookie and the like. Perhaps it’s compensation for the name hardships we endure previously. There’s the downside though....make one wrong move in traffic and your name can be instantly changed by the driver you offended by a hollered “A**ho*e*!!!!” from their window. This is generally followed by a flipped finger in your direction. Never ends does it? With the advent of the internet a whole new dimension was added to the Name Game…..the almighty Screen Name, or nic (nickname) was born. You can have as many as you want! You can even apply the teasing names from childhood if you please….re-live the pain! I used Beetlebum for a few years….why not…..Little Bobby could have internet access from the prison library and I could IM him a few choice names …Jail_Bird and Payback’s_a_beeotch for instance. I still sound bitter don’t I? Oh well.

 

A few months ago I discovered a wonderful journaling website and immediately signed up for my free account. I have a nic that I’ve used for a very long time ….it’s become a part of me…..dare I use it there? No, I thought, it doesn’t feel right. I wanted to choose something that represented my personality. To a great extent I feel free during that last few years …free of the noose that life tends to put on our necks through the years. I never want to say “I’m completely free”...that’s too cocky. I want to remain ever changing and working towards being well rounded. I’m comfortable with the fact that this “life journey” of mine will be an ongoing project the rest of my days…. I embrace it. I’ve discovered wonderful things about myself through the process, so while I’m not completely free, I am somewhat. So thereforee I’m free some. Freesome! It was exactly the nic I was looking for. I talk a lot don’t I ? Oh well.

 

So I picked Freesome and I again discovered that the Name Game is indeed very much alive, and very much well. Apparently there was a misconception regarding my nic…..some folks were under the impression that the Freesome nic was a play on words, and to be pronounced as if one was 6 years old and missing front teeth (Fweesome). Now use the worst part of your imagination and you'll understand why I had to make this Official Announcement to all members of the website: Now hear this!!! My nickname does NOT, in any way, shape or form, translate into THREESOME" Although it’s garnered me some pretty interesting emails, (oh my gawwwd you should see some of them!), I just had to set the record straight. I also told the good people to “fear not, I’m here for the fun, folks and camaraderie….not a party session with your husbands, boyfriends or brothers. Honest!! ”

 

Sheesh…..why do I keep hearing little Bobby R’s evil laugh resounding in my head right now? *sigh* Nope….it doesn’t change. Oh well.