Sex on a first date

[amtjrtcet]

I wouldn't mind being in love with someone that I find out later is bad in bed.

 

People can learn

 

At your age, yes they can still learn.....at my age, I don't think you can really teach them anymore....lol

[Darkness_Falls]

I've been in both those situations Jayar. Been with the good at sex guys... who I ended up hating personality wise, and been with a guy who was so nice and we clicked emotionally/mentally but in the bedroom... nada. We ended up being friends instead. Got it right with my current boyfriend though, great in the bedroom, supportive and kind in personality. Has everyone else had similar experiences, being with a variety of guys/women?

[Cognitive_Canine]

At your age, yes they can still learn.....at my age, I don't think you can really teach them anymore....lol

 

If I can survive the horrible kissing technique of my last bf (oh yeah, it was really bad....he bit me....TWICE) and teach him to now be a great kisser, I'm thinking I could survive someone who is bad in bed.

 

If I really loved him, we could work through it.

[Darkness_Falls]

At your age, yes they can still learn.....at my age, I don't think you can really teach them anymore....lol

 

LOL true.

[Jayar]

For me, my boyfriend gets driven crazy wondering what sexual plans I am making next... what new things we can come up with, and him thinking about what new things he wants to try.

 

Oh sure, of course! And keep in mind that my opinion to wait isn't instead of being creative in bed forever more. I do agree there are sexual soulmates. I just don't think everyone can count on the fact that the guy they slept with last weekend who hasn't called them back yet is it. More likely that he just got bored, wasn't that into her anyway, and she's left feeling like crap.

 

I think if a guy doesn't like you, and is only interested in sex, then waiting won't change that. But it'll likely weed him out, which is positive in itself. It's the guy who's really into you at first, then you sleep with him and some switch in his head just flips, and you're not going to be the girlfriend. Personally I doubt guys understand it any more than we do... But it doesn't make them any less slave to it.

[DropToZero]

Yeah, I agree with the fact that the double standard IS there, but not everyone thinks that way...people need to get out of their ignorant butts(trying to be nice ) and think how it takes 2 people to have sex, if she's sleeping with you(like said before)...so ARE YOU sleeping with her.

 

Yes if the connections there, I've slept with and would again with some girls on a first date....but I won't lie, the first time it ever happened, man was it all a disaster...

[lila...]

Not from personal experience but I think person A es more likely too. It's more likely that if you already form a special bond with someone and you like that person a lot, by the time you have sex (if you had held out), it will feel more special and thereforeee...good. And even if it wasn't as good, you can always teach them and learn together .

[WoundedHeart]

Lousy in bed = no further involvement . Sex is within the top 2 of importance for me in a relationship so It normally happens quickly . I would rather find that out sooner then later . I am in an older age group and men my age or older seems to suffer from ED ALOT and this is something I try to nicely find out before I even go on the first date . While most volunteer this info in IM { I used to online date } before we even meet , it makes it easier ,because it means I just don't meet them .I am not interested in an oral only relationship . A couple got past me ,and it made for a very uncomfortable time when that time came ,and it was obvious they suffered from ED and I sent them on their way .

[ycmanvs]

Pretty much all my long term relationships started with sex on the first date. However, I am single now because all those relationships ended. They were filled with drama and they were rollercoasters.

I am trying a new approach. I am going out on dates where I get to know the other person first and see if I like them before I even kiss them. I will let you know how that turns out. So far, I am not getting too many second dates out of it but I don't have any drama either.

[gcollier2002]

The only time I've thought less of a girl for giving it up (or trying to) was where there was no date at all... LOL. It was just straight to trying to hook up.

[Darkness_Falls]

Pretty much all my long term relationships started with sex on the first date. However, I am single now because all those relationships ended. They were filled with drama and they were rollercoasters.

I am trying a new approach. I am going out on dates where I get to know the other person first and see if I like them before I even kiss them. I will let you know how that turns out. So far, I am not getting too many second dates out of it but I don't have any drama either.

 

Eek drama is never a good thing. Been in those kind of relationships too.... not fun at all. Surprisingly the guy I slept with on first date turned out to be my best relationship. Hmmm I wonder if there is a way to decifer if a relationship will be drama filled or not... always nice to know lol.

[Scorpion Fury]

Mehhhh... a lot of guys do think along the lines of "If it's that easy, why would you want it?" and "No one wants to buy the cow when you get the sex for free".

 

It's a double standard, everyone that said that is right. A guy will often look down on a girl that gives it up on the first night because he'll think she has no morals, not realizing that's like the pot calling the kettle black.

 

I always made it a habit to wait, because I didn't want to be viewed as a booty call to someone I liked, and because I'm paranoid about STDs. However, I did sleep with my current boyfriend on our first date on accident. I had no intention to, but alcohol is the devil and I ended up getting FADED. (Which is why if you don't wanna give it up on the first night, you should never involve alcohol.) Anyway, in the morning I thought, ahhhh man this guy thinks I'm a hussie and he's never gonna call me again. but he did, that same night. And we've been together like 10 or 11 months. So I guess it depends on the guy.

 

On the other hand, when I was a youngin I made the mistake of sleeping with guys on the first night, and- yep, you guessed it- never got called again. Unless it was one of those drunk 3am calls. Yeah, not cool. But I think Ghost is right, age probably does play a factor. When my current bf and I got together, I was 23 and he was 27.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Lousy in bed = no further involvement . Sex is within the top 2 of importance for me in a relationship so It normally happens quickly . I would rather find that out sooner then later . I am in an older age group and men my age or older seems to suffer from ED ALOT and this is something I try to nicely find out before I even go on the first date . While most volunteer this info in IM { I used to online date } before we even meet , it makes it easier ,because it means I just don't meet them .I am not interested in an oral only relationship . A couple got past me ,and it made for a very uncomfortable time when that time came ,and it was obvious they suffered from ED and I sent them on their way .

 

 

Not sure how old you are but as you get older there are more women to men so I am sure that somewhere a woman is very very happy that you gave him the heave ho...there are plenty of women who would want the man to be there to talk to, to be supportive during the rough times and illness. Remember, it works two ways...one day you might have sexual problems due to health issues and if you can't perform, the kind of man you may be going for may end up giving you the heave ho.

[livefree]

I had sex with my current boyfriend way before our first date...Actually, I think we probably had more sex than dates by the time we actually became official. We were good friends prior so it wasn't too weird and from that neither of us consider each other promiscuous, although we do like our sex

 

If it was a normal, run-of-the-mill, "I don't know you that well yet" first date, I wouldn't have sex with the guy. If you asked me a couple years ago, I would've had sex with a guy within a first few minutes of meeting him. That took a pretty big toll on me emotionally though, so now I make sure I know the guy really well before getting intimate

[CallingAllAngels]

Not sure how old you are but as you get older there are more women to men so I am sure that somewhere a woman is very very happy that you gave him the heave ho...there are plenty of women who would want the man to be there to talk to, to be supportive during the rough times and illness. Remember, it works two ways...one day you might have sexual problems due to health issues and if you can't perform, the kind of man you may be going for may end up giving you the heave ho.

 

Very well put CAD.

[doyathink]

If I'm having sex on the first 'date' then I'm certainly not looking for a relationship with them. It's all about just getting your groove on. Why would you want to keep a guy (or girl) who is that eager to sleep with you that soon? I wouldn't consider them a keeper....just a boi toy.

[amtjrtcet]

If I'm having sex on the first 'date' then I'm certainly not looking for a relationship with them. It's all about just getting your groove on. Why would you want to keep a guy (or girl) who is that eager to sleep with you that soon? I wouldn't consider them a keeper....just a boi toy.

 

I usually agree with you DYT, but on this one I have to disagree....

 

Everyone has their own opinion though.

[ghost69]

If I'm having sex on the first 'date' then I'm certainly not looking for a relationship with them. It's all about just getting your groove on. Why would you want to keep a guy (or girl) who is that eager to sleep with you that soon? I wouldn't consider them a keeper....just a boi toy.

 

what if the guy was insanely good in bed, extremely smart, successful, attractive, funny, etc? still no?

[doyathink]

I usually agree with you DYT, but on this one I have to disagree....

 

Everyone has their own opinion though.

LOL! Thats cool. I never said anything about the 2nd or 3rd date tho. haha

what if the guy was insanely good in bed, extremely smart, successful, attractive, funny, etc? still no?

 

Well, good FWB are always an asset. Can't find enough good one's these days.

I can't say I would 'Never' keep him...it would really depend on the guy.

[ycmanvs]

what if the guy was insanely good in bed, extremely smart, successful, attractive, funny, etc? still no?

 

I would wonder why is he single?

[ghost69]

I would wonder why is he single?

 

most women are crazy. i have found this out years ago. they are either clingy, want to move too fast, want you all to themselves, not mature enough, really insecure, etc.

 

why can't a good guy be single? i mean a guy with all these qualities.

 

are all good girls gone? no.

[crosstownTraffic]

I guess there are alot of school of thought, but it just strikes me as so antiquated and such a rigid mind set that women are penalized and branded as defnitely NOT gf material, if they have sex earlly on the in the realtionship. I mean, let's face, it, regardless of society's morality, we all have a sex drive, or if you are healthy you have one... to keep putting off sex with someone you really like and are attracted to.. well, that seems a little unnatureal to me, not that I'm going to sleep with any guy that comes down the pike, cuz I'm not, I'm pretty particular with whom I do sleep with, but once I find someone attractive, I'm surely thinkign in the back of my mind, I'd like to sleep with them.

Why play games? Life is short... You never know what is coming around the corner...

 

"So.. i guess I wonder, when I read this: I don't think it's necessarily a matter of an (adult) guy viewing the (adult) girl as easy. I think Ghost's right, and that is a high school thing... But I think it's an almost subconscious disappointment that it was too easy, and thereby of less value. There are a few truths here, one of which is that as a human species we most value what is rare, special, and we had to work for. This applies even to things outside of sex.

 

I think that guys are excited by (and designed to appreciate) something they have to work for to an extent. There's a great analogy in the book "Why Men Love B!TCHE$" discussing how proud a man is of a moose he shoots on a hunt in horrible weather, etc etc. The moose holds NO value (as a conquest, perhaps just as food) if you dump it on his front doorstep nicely packaged for cooking.

 

Guys are competitive chasers by nature. They play sports, they bet on the STUPIDEST things with one another just to have the chance to "win" something. thereforeee, regardless what they say, I am of the firm belief that they'll ALWAYS value good sex they had to work for more than good sex they didn't. Definitely not before or during the act, but almost invariably after the fact.

 

 

"When people ask me if I've ever been in love, I answer 'every day!' I am in love with myself, my family and friends, my jaw-droppingly beautiful city, and my busy life. I am also head-over-heels in love with the guy who makes me want to share it all with him... I just don't know who he is quite yet."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i kiss without a date sometimes. same for sex. lol

 

Yeah.. I cannot see having a date with someone you are attracted to and not wanting to kiss them. I see nothing wroing with sharing a kiss on the first date.

[ycmanvs]

most women are crazy. i have found this out years ago. they are either clingy, want to move too fast, want you all to themselves, not mature enough, really insecure, etc.

 

why can't a good guy be single? i mean a guy with all these qualities.

 

are all good girls gone? no.

 

Thanks for categorizing most women as crazy.

There are many guys who engage in those types of behaviors. It is called not being compatible with eachother because your needs are not being met.

 

Some people mature faster than others, so there is no way of knowing when they reach a point where they are relationship material. The only way to find out is to sample the goods...that does not necessarily mean sex on the first date.

[ghost69]

Thanks for categorizing most women as crazy.

There are many guys who engage in those types of behaviors. It is called not being compatible with eachother because your needs are not being met.

 

Some people mature faster than others, so there is no way of knowing when they reach a point where they are relationship material. The only way to find out is to sample the goods...that does not necessarily mean sex on the first date.

 

that's why i'm single.

 

i never denied there are nutty guys out there too. i know a lot of them. lol, a lot are my friends. they just don't get it.

[CynicalGuitarist]

What do guys think of a girl that has sex on a first date? Would you think of her as being easy?

 

perhaps, but I won't automatically turn her down just 'cause she's promiscuous or overtly sexual (I am, even though I'm a virgin.)