She looked in my shower and wanted to know about my underwear and socks

[kevinm]

So I went on a date with bachelorette #3 yesterday. Things went really good. She's a great girl, much better in person than with email. So on that front, I'm very glad I went out with her yesterday. Well, long story short we ended up having sex together last night. I know, terrible idea on a first date right? But what can I say, the chemistry was there.

 

My question relates to something other than sex however. What I'm wondering is why she asked me all of these strange questions. She asked some that I would have expected... Are you religious? How do you feel about children? Do you have any history of drug or alcohol abuse? Etc.

 

But as things went on, she started to ask me stranger questions. She wanted to see my underwear and what type I wore. She asked about my socks and how I had them organized. She wanted to see my drivers license. She also admitted to me when she went into the bathroom she looked inside my shower.

 

I'm just curious as to why she would do and ask such things?

 

-Kevin

[metrogirl]

Because she's strange......

[itsallgrand]

lol. Yeah, strange. And snoopy!

 

She's setting herself up to get pranked. *do it, do it*

[hers]

I look in people's showers all the time, but I don't admit to it. I don't know why I do it; I just like to see how they keep it. Says a lot about a person I think.

 

Religious and feelings of children--that's normal talk to me.

 

The underwear drawer is a little creepy to me. I wouldn't come right out and ask until I saw your underwear myself (like during nekkid time).

[letteiljmc4ever]

probably because she's a creeper....

[metrogirl]

Maybe she just wants to make sure that you are a boxer type of guy and not a

 

Tighty Whitey guy

[arwen]

Maybe she wanted to take a road less travelled and not ask you the standard, expected things. Or maybe she reads into how people organize their socks. Maybe she was instead figuring out if you are a tidy person. Maybe she is overly tidy and looking if you would be somewhat similar or not. Time will tell, I guess. It could be she was just nervous and blurting stuff out. You still have a lot to discover about each other- it's only one date! If she keeps on asking strange stuff, return the question and ask how she organizes her socks.

 

It seems you have a good connection to start from, but chemistry is just chemistry- invest in getting to know each other before you define yourselves as a couple!

[kuiks8]

I think she has a set formula she follows, she asks the serious questions, throws in the underwear thing to come accross flirty and put some sexual interest in there and I think she asked the sock drawer thing to come accross kind of quirky/fun...like i said the girl has a formula..

The shower thing...i do that too....see what kind of grooming process the person has...what of it LOL

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Well, I guess she wasn't that strange to you because you stuck your penis in her vagina after only knowing her for 5 seconds. I don't understand why people run out and have sex at the drop of a hat and then sit there and pick apart the stranger they just had sex with. This whole dating process just went backwards...start with sex and then learn about the person afterwards. The things she asked are normal things that would come up over the course of getting to know someone...they would just kind of evolve. Since sex was on the first date, basically a whole month or two months of "getting to know you" was crammed into that one first date. I would say you guys covered a lot of ground. What would take some people a month or two to cover, you guys got it all out of the way on the first date. So I would think that her questions aren't that weird in the sense that as you get to know someone you find out the answers to those questions. To say that it is weird because she asked them on the first date, then you may as well say it is weird to get so physically intimate with a perfect stranger.

[itsallgrand]

I would seriously leave notes to her and weird stuff in your drawers and shower for next time she comes round.

 

And I agree with the throwing the questions back.

 

See what this is all about. Quirk or creepy.

 

If a man did this to me, I'd be a lil disturbed. My privacy! akh. Stay out of my undie drawer!

[kevinm]

Thanks for the input guys. Interesting idea on the formula angle kuik.

 

CAD, is there something wrong with having sex? We are two consenting adults in this scenario. I would consider sex to be a very important aspect in a relationship. While you may see it as "backwards" (according to whose playbook I'm not sure) I would argue that people should get it out of the way more quickly. Am I suppose to date someone for months and months only to find out they are bad in the sack? Call me shallow, but I don't want to be with someone who is sexually incompatible with me, regardless of how many other positives exist in the relationship.

 

-Kevin

[hers]

Well, I guess she wasn't that strange to you because you stuck your penis in her vagina after only knowing her for 5 seconds. I don't understand why people run out and have sex at the drop of a hat and then sit there and pick apart the stranger they just had sex with. .

 

His thread isn't asking if he shouldn't have had sex with her quickly or not. If the chemistry is right, I have no problem with sex on the first date.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Thanks for the input guys. Interesting idea on the formula angle kuik.

 

CAD, is there something wrong with having sex? We are two consenting adults in this scenario. I would consider sex to be a very important aspect in a relationship. While you may see it as "backwards" (according to whose playbook I'm not sure) I would argue that people should get it out of the way more quickly. Am I suppose to date someone for months and months only to find out they are bad in the sack? Call me shallow, but I don't want to be with someone who is sexually incompatible with me, regardless of how many other positives exist in the relationship.

 

-Kevin

 

Well then there is nothing wrong with what she did...she felt comfortable with you enough having just swapped bodily fluids, to check out your shower, underwear drawer and find out if you had anything bad from your past. What is wrong with that? If you are going to sleep with someone, you should know a bit about the person you are sleeping with. So under the circumstances, I don't see anything odd about her questions.

[hers]

She asked him all of this stuff before they slept together.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

My point is that everyone is getting all bent out of shape about this woman's questions when they are perfectly reasonable things to know about someone you are sleeping with!!! So if you don't have a problem with sex on the first date, you shouldn't have a problem with having these questions asked on a first date!! That is all I am saying. Two consensual adults having sex on the first date...fine, whatever you want..but not allowed to ask questions which are getting to know the person you are sleeping with...why not.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

She asked him all of this stuff before they slept together.

 

So, if it was such a turn off and over the top, he could have said to himself "this is to creepy" and not gone to bed with her!

[hers]

The point is that they are unorthodox questions--asking to see his underwear drawer rather than just asking waht type of underwear he wears? It's a little weird. I'd rather have a guy ask me what sort of underwear i wear than look directly in my drawer. It's just a little creepy.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

The point is that they are unorthodox questions--asking to see his underwear drawer rather than just asking waht type of underwear he wears? It's a little weird. I'd rather have a guy ask me what sort of underwear i wear than look directly in my drawer. It's just a little creepy.

 

 

Well, having sex with a stranger is not exactly "orthodox" either!

[itsallgrand]

Did she do all this before or after the sex?

 

Some people have this idea that once you sleep with someone, you get an access pass to all their private things and world.

 

I don't agree with that. If I have sex with someone, it doesn't mean you get a free pass to snoop and to invade my privacy. What is private to some people, isn't to others.

 

I agree with CAD that sleeping with someone so early sets you up for more troubles than if you bothered to get to know them first. It's the risk you take.

 

So if she did all this, and you slept with her anyways, it would seem rude to me that you would talk about it like afterwards instead of talking to her.

 

Anyways, you are best off talking and dealing with this with her. Nothing she has done yet puts her in "weirdo" territory. Just a girl with some kinda strange habits.

[hers]

It is when you're in your 20s, early 30s I think. I've had sex with a lot of guys very early on and don't think there is a problem with it. In this day and age, it's much mroe common to sleep together quickly. I don't know many people who wait long at all. "Long" to me is 2 weeks. "Long" to others is a week or so as well. Very rarely do I hear people say months when they are referring waiting to a long time to sleep together.

[kuiks8]

Thanks for the input guys. Interesting idea on the formula angle kuik.

 

 

seriously...as a girl who used to date a lot...that girl definitely has a formula i wouldn't stress about it too much was my point...she will loosend up in time...

[xika5]

I agree, these are weird questions. Having had sex or not on the first day has got nothing to do with it, the questions are strange period.

[kevinm]

CAD, I'm going to ask you to refrain from deflecting the topic of this thread to sex. It's not about sex, Hersmudders is correct, it's about the strangness of the shower and underwear thing in and of itself. You can think poorly of me for having sex on a first date or whatever, frankly I don't care, nor is your opinion on my moral compass relevant. It should be obvious that if her questions bothered me to the point where I didn't want have sex with her, I wouldn't have had sex with her.

 

-Kevin

[JimmerJammer]

It sounds to me like this woman has a pretty particular set of ways to finding out what a man is like based on perhaps generalizations and is trying to figure out who you are right away. Sounds to me like this girl is a little bit intense as she may be reaching that point where she is really considering who she ends up with and is taking it to the extreme. That or she's just being a huge creeper lol

[xika5]

It sounds to me like this woman has a pretty particular set of ways to finding out what a man is like based on perhaps generalizations and is trying to figure out who you are right away. Sounds to me like this girl is a little bit intense as she may be reaching that point where she is really considering who she ends up with and is taking it to the extreme. That or she's just being a huge creeper lol

 

Exactly! I've heard so many generalizations about men based on the way they organize their drawers, the type of underwear they wear, how many styling products they use, etc., sounds like that girl got a little too carried away with that!