Lucy__lou Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 So this is a question for boys/men.... we hear a lot about men's fantasies of two girls. I don't know about other women, but I would be into having two boyfriends. (I don't have any at present, but I prefer the idea of two to one) But do most guys get jealous and want to keep their love interest to themselves? I'm not talking about bringing a third person into a two person relationship. I'm talking of starting out as a triad. I guess I'm imagining some scenario where two best friends meet me, agree that I'm cute/charming/funny etc, and when I indicate that I want them both that they would look at each other, say "shall we?" and the romance/sex begins. Maybe it would be like a bonding thing for the two guys. I'd like your views. Both on the sexual bit (i.e. is it a turn on?/off?, I mean if you're straight, you'd have to see your male friend naked and having sex) and the emotional bit (could you see yourself getting romantically involved with a woman/girl who was into both you and your mate (perhaps a good friend or even your best mate). I'm sure there's lots of guys on here who would be not at all into it. But I'd really like to hear thoughts from guys who would be up for it. Also, would anyone here think less of a woman who wanted it that way? (i.e. think she doesn't really love them, or is trashy, cheap, and just kinky and not in it for real)? would you have to be not in love in order to do it? Link to comment
wayoverit Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 I don't understand the question at all. Anyone thinking of engaging a third person is totally missing something and is looking to fulfill it with this third person. It has nothing to do with her character. Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 I don't understand the question at all. Anyone thinking of engaging a third person is totally missing something and is looking to fulfill it with this third person. Although I would never consider something like this myself and would not want a partner who had such desires, I have to disagree with your assessment. There are couples who say that they're very much in love and yet find the idea of a three-way sexually appealing. If that's what they both want and they know what they're getting into, then I say more power to 'em. Link to comment
Lucy__lou Posted February 9, 2008 Author Share Posted February 9, 2008 I've just edited my opening post for clarity. I'm not talking about a couple bringing in a third. I'm talking about a love triangle that starts out that way. I'm sure it would be easier if the boys were a bit bi for each other, but they're not as easy to find as straight boys. So I'm interested in the views of straight boys. Since you'd be more interested in the woman. Link to comment
doyathink Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 I wouldn't think you'd have a problem finding two men who were up for having a three way sex session. Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 I've just edited my opening post for clarity. I'm not talking about a couple bringing in a third. I'm talking about a love triangle that starts out that way. I'm sure it would be easier if the boys were a bit bi for each other, but they're not as easy to find as straight boys. So I'm interested in the views of straight boys. Since you'd be more interested in the woman. Okay, I gotcha. I saw a three-person 'couple' like that once. Once. On Springer. And the boys were definitely bi. So, apparently it doesn't work too often or too well. Maybe as a private fantasy, but not when it comes to putting it into practice. Humans are programmed by evolution to, among other things, fall in love and mate in pairs. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 And I would add (though what do I really know as a woman), I would find it highly irregular, (though not inconceivable) that two best mates would "bond" in this way. Men bond over business victories, sports victories, discussions about matters of mutual concern -- not taking turns with a woman. I don't see how this would create "male bonding" in two heterosexual men. They are not touching eachother, yet getting closer to eachother's bodies than in a locker room or latrine. Just doesn't seem to "click" in my head. I can only see it if they have homoerotic tendencies, are outright bisexual or simply want to take turns and observe a woman getting it from another man for the voyeuristic pleasure, but the whole interactive 3-way thing is a little too close for comfort for "best buds" it seems to me. Maybe the question should be turned around back at the OP: if you would prefer two boyfriends, is it alright with you that they be bi (and have some attraction for eachother)? Could you settle on that? Link to comment
Lucy__lou Posted February 9, 2008 Author Share Posted February 9, 2008 yes, I'd prefer it that they were both bisexual. It would seem fairer. But since straight men seem to be the majority, I'm interested to see what my chances are. yeah, the bonding thing was a bit of a guess. I really have no idea. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Sure. But it would be a one time thing. As in a one night stand. What you are referring to is a "spit roast". I dont think you would have a problem walking into a bar for instance and saying "you two. I want to bang both of you tonight. Lets go." Chances of you seeing these guys again are slim. Chances that they will want anything more than to "fill you" are slimmer. Link to comment
Siriana Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 I don't think that will be easy to find. And plus they say, be careful what you wish for, because it might come true. Try imagining all the possible complications - I think there is a lot of what might make this impossible in the long run. I can't believe I'm gonna say this - but why don't you simply try a threesome to see how it works for you and as a substitute for your idea (than again, it is easier to find 2 girls, one guy combination, than 2 guys one girl, and 2 guys one girl always seemed dangerous to me.) Maybe it's only a fantasy you have or you want something of that kind but in a slightly different form. Link to comment
Lucy__lou Posted February 9, 2008 Author Share Posted February 9, 2008 Chances of you seeing these guys again are slim. Why is this? Why the disrespect? I'm not interested in doing anything like that. That's gross. (going into a bar and going home with them that night). I'm thinking more in terms of us all being sort of friends first. And there being love involved. But if both of them liked me, (as in really liked me and valued me as a person and a friend) would they be willing to both go out with me, knowing that I had feelings for both of them. Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Most people arent into that. Its not impossible. Just difficult to find 2 guys to share equally in a relationship and sexually. You can find it. Just not easily. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 most people don't do this out of 'love', they do it for sexual variety or to fulfill some sexual fantasies. i think it is very easy to find willing partners for this if you want it... lots of websites with people looking for this... but i wouldn't expect it to fill any 'love' fantasies you have or you'll be seriously disappointed. also be very careful about getting naked with a couple men you don't know well and trust a lot. things could get out of hand and go in a direction you don't want to go (rape, rough sex). also, lots of guys who do this expect 'unusual' sexual requests to be fulfilled... i.e., they want airtight (google it honey, and be ready to do that before even consider a threesome with two men becuase they will most likely expect it). Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 most people don't do this out of 'love', they do it for sexual variety or to fulfill some sexual fantasies. i think it is very easy to find willing partners for this if you want it... lots of websites with people looking for this... but i wouldn't expect it to fill any 'love' fantasies you have or you'll be seriously disappointed. also be very careful about getting naked with a couple men you don't know well and trust a lot. things could get out of hand and go in a direction you don't want to go (rape, rough sex). also, lots of guys who do this expect 'unusual' sexual requests to be fulfilled... i.e., they want airtight (google it honey, and be ready to do that before even consider a threesome with two men becuase they will most likely expect it). You need 3 guys for airtight. Or more if you are so inclined. Link to comment
midnightrambler Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 I don't understand the question at all. Anyone thinking of engaging a third person is totally missing something and is looking to fulfill it with this third person. It has nothing to do with her character. i always heard that two girls and a guy is a menage a trois, two guys and a girl is a gang bang Link to comment
JadedStar Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 yes, I'd prefer it that they were both bisexual. It would seem fairer. But since straight men seem to be the majority, I'm interested to see what my chances are. yeah, the bonding thing was a bit of a guess. I really have no idea. Finding men for three way sex will happen, but Lucy it will be extremely difficult in the manner you are hoping for, i.e. a real relationship with both of them. It seems women are more open to this type of triad than men...or at least it seems that way from what i have gathered in my lifetime. Not that a lot of women want to do it either but they seem more into it. You might be better off practicing polyamary but I don't know if that will fuflill your needs since the sex usually isn't three way but you could give it a shot. I am actually surprised at this because I thought you were more bisexual and would be into a male/female triad than male/male based on your former posts. You always have the most interesting posts lucy. LOL Signed, Auntie Jaded Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 I agree with JS - and also that this is an interesting post! - It seems like a lot of this is about "you" and how it would be a turn on to play out that scene where two guys desire you and decide that they will put aside the typical human feelings of jealousy, etc in order to have you all to themselves and, just for you, they will be best friends so that you don't have to worry. I think that works very well in interactions focused on sex only - it's understood when it's sex only that thinking of the other person (other than getting them off) is not really the point. But if emotions are involved, most people would shy away from starring in your personal fantasy/drama. Link to comment
Lucy__lou Posted February 9, 2008 Author Share Posted February 9, 2008 You might be better off practicing polyamary but I don't know if that will fuflill your needs since the sex usually isn't three way but you could give it a shot. I am actually surprised at this because I thought you were more bisexual and would be into a male/female triad than male/male based on your former posts. Yes, this really is more about polyamory than 3 way sex. The main reason I thought it would be important to include 3 way sex was that I would feel bad neglecting one of my boyfriends in order to spend time with the other one. I guess it could work if they both had other partners outside of the triad. But I'm just thinking, just say we all went out to dinner one night, I'd feel bad going home with just one. I'd probably just end up going home alone to avoid being unfair. As for the me being bi and stuff. I'd be into the one boy one girl thing too, although I'd NEVER do it if me and the girl weren't lovers first, and I'd want him to be a certain kind of guy who wouldn't interpret the two girl thing as him having a little mini harem. He'd have to be pretty respectful and not see himself as some kind of rooster, so in this sense, I'm a hypocrite for wanting a couple of straight guys to get together with me. But since I'm not a guy I don't know. That's why I'm posting!!! Actually, I've heard that a lot of lesbians get right into gay male porn, (go figure...) so maybe the two guys thing is me playing out part of my lezzo side. Another thing I'll say to shed some light onto my desire for more than one sweet heart, is that I don't believe one person can (or should have to be) everything. Sometimes you can meet your needs better by opening yourself to more different people rather than shopping around for the perfect person. I've recently met these two delightful men. One is physically gorgeous, but culturally quite different from me (i.e. more mainstream) while the other less hot one, is someone I connect with more on a cultural level. I have some feelings for both of them, and even though it's never going to happen (they're both too good for me), I think the two of them combined would make me very happy (in my dreams). And since I don't think I'm perfect enough to be the ideal girlfriend for either of them (or anyone for that matter), I'd feel less pressure if I was in a three way, because then they wouldn't feel bad if they found other lovers to satisfy their emotional/intellectual/social or whatever needs in ways that I couldn't. I've never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, and I'm sure there's lots of reasons other than this, but I think one of them is that I'm not really someone who is suited to a 2 person relationship. I'm wired differently it would seem. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted February 9, 2008 Share Posted February 9, 2008 Actually, I've heard that a lot of lesbians get right into gay male porn, (go figure!) so maybe the two guys thing is me playing out part of my lezzo side. PRobably the same reason why straight women often like lesbian porn or seeing women in porn. I know what you are saying as far as why you want this, i just think it is so atypical it will be very hard to find a guy willing to settle. The average person has a tough time with jealousy. Link to comment
KG Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 Lucy, IMHO, finding 2 guys to share all parts of the relationship, including the sexual aspect, is kind of unrealistic. Most men go into "Alpha male" mode when that spark ignites. Sharing is most definetly not on their minds. If you want a threeway connection, gonna be tough to find. Again, my 2 c's. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 In addition to ^^ since you have already identified the two guys, they would likely have to be bisexual and extremely open with little to no jealous streaks, and they would both have to be pretty enamored with you equally. Kind of unlikely hon for all of these factors to exist. Link to comment
amure Posted February 10, 2008 Share Posted February 10, 2008 wow thats interesting ay XD tbh on i wouldn't. i just dont roll like that Link to comment
valiantv Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Well I couldn't imagine sharing a girl with another guy esp at a relationship level... But I am straight... I am thinking it is possible actually, I mean I've heard of 3 people who love each other kind of platonically, so why can this not extend into romantically? Also, most parents love both their spouse and their kids. I know they don't love their kids in the same way and I'm not suggesting they do, but it illustrates how their love can be divided. I think it would need a few requirements: - Probably be better if the two guys love each other too, because this would reduce the jealousy somewhat... - As far as equality is concerned... I would guess all 3 would have to go out of their way to be fair to each of the other two, with regard to spending time emotionally and sexually. - there would have to be the understanding that it's not necessary for all 3 to be present at a sex session... - Openness and honesty would have to be key. If one member is not pulling their weight, in bed or any other department (right down to doing the dishes!), they need to be told. Anything else and the threat of a breakaway relationship, or relationship-within-a-relationship could happen as the other two began to resent the one not performing. An example of a problem I could see is as follows: Imagine you come home from a bad day at work in a foul temper. You meet the first guy, and brush him off or something, then you meet the second guy but you've calmed down a little, and he hugs you and makes you feel better, you hug him tightly back and start to smooch him or something. How will this make the first guy feel? But then as I said a parent may face the same problem with two of their kids, and need to just keep in mind never to show favouritism... Wow I would be really interested to hear/read about a situation like this! Someone should make a reality TV show about it or something Link to comment
Lucy__lou Posted February 12, 2008 Author Share Posted February 12, 2008 Thanks valliantv for your thoughtful post. It doesn't need to be reality tv though. It happens. I just wanted to get some feedback from people who haven't already decided that they're polyamorous/pansexual etc. It works for those who are that way inclined. Just I haven't had any luck in that area, and I was wondering how much luck I'd have introducing it to 'normal' people. Link to comment
valiantv Posted February 12, 2008 Share Posted February 12, 2008 Well I was kind of being tongue in cheek with the reality TV show thing! But I have never heard of it happening and it definitely never seems to happen on TV... but then again being gay is still the big joke on some sitcoms so maybe TV's maturity level hasn't really progressed as much as it should have... Just would be very interested to know what it would be like... Link to comment
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