Why are people so nasty to overweight people?

[Inspirational]

What is it about being overweight that negates your status as a human being? Why do so many think that weight is a perfectly acceptable reason to treat another person like they are less of a person? Why do people feel they have the right to criticize and ridicule another person because of weight?

 

A person is a person is a person no matter their weight, shape, face, color, gender, sexual orientation. Respect and kindness are a lot easier than nasty and hateful.

Life isn't grade school, people need to grow up!

 

I think I might have a partial answer to this question??

 

It's not that all people who are "fat" get treated this way. It's the ones who have no self-esteem and who treat themselves like they are worthless, but even thinner people do this.

 

In your case, you must have some built up "anger" issues, which probably reflect as you being bitter and unfriendly. You really shouldn't put a label on everyone, because not everyone points the finger at overweight people and make fun of them. You'll be surprised at how many people actually don't care about people they do not know.

 

I think the problem stems from within yourself. You aren't happy with yourself, thereforeeee, you must think that no one can be happy with you either.

 

I found that losing a little weight actually helps the self-image, by far. You should really look into your local gyms and start working on some goals, because in your case, I think it would do you a lot of good.

[Inspirational]

Jadedstar "People crack jokes about anyone who is outside of society's acceptable norms."

 

What's acceptable norms as far as weight goes??

 

If you're too thin..."oOo...she must be an anorexic or she has bulimia!"

 

If you're too big..."oOo...she can't control her weight, she has no self-control!"

 

If she's fine...ERT!!!..wait a minute, I forgot!! "SOCIETY" as you call it, has no "acceptable norms", because everyone complains regardless...and that's too broad of an assumption, because people vary...what might be "normal" to one person, may be "strange" to another.

[love4life]

I agree. You can FEEL the change in attitude and confidence in people who have lost weight. At least, that's been my experience.

[jettison]

I personally think that "health issue" aside (some overweight people are in fact healthier than "normal" weight people) Being overweight is probably one of the only things that still is openly accepted to make fun of or discriminate over.

 

Not where I'm from.

[Inspirational]

"RayKay" I don't make fun of people whom are overweight, but I do admit I do sometimes have thoughts that maybe they just aren't taking care of themselves very well (but to be honest I think that of someone whom is very skinny/unhealthy looking too, or whom looks average but loses their breath walking up a flight of stairs as they don't take care of themselves)

 

Why? What gives you the right to make prejudge mental thoughts about someone who does not fit your description of looking a certain way?

[RayKay]

RayKay you can say you have never been in a social situation where there was an overweight person and you never observed people saying something or even going so far as to laugh? I find that hard to believe

What I said was I have not seen this since junior high.

 

Honestly.

 

I really think a lot of this has to do however with the company you keep. For the same reason I won't associate with people whom make fun of (or are prejudicial) against homosexuals, other races...I won't associate with people whom would do this towards overweight people either. Generally someone's personality/character fits with whether they would do this...and I honestly don't have friends whom are this way.

 

I also admitted I do have preconceptions of overweight people (and not just "myth" but reality - even being 5lbs overweight puts you at 20% higher risk for heart attack for example even with normal blood pressure and not smoking....so it is not "healthier"). Though I also said you can be very UNHEALTHY and be thin (or of normal weight) and I do know overweight people whom live more healthy lifestyles that would make them healthier than "average" sized-people.

[15 Storeys High]

1. Overweight people are an easy target.

2. People make fun of what they're afraid of becoming.

3. People making the jokes are afraid of becoming overweight (It can happen to anyone).

4. People making the jokes are generally people that cannot see past outer appearance.

[RayKay]

"RayKay" I don't make fun of people whom are overweight, but I do admit I do sometimes have thoughts that maybe they just aren't taking care of themselves very well (but to be honest I think that of someone whom is very skinny/unhealthy looking too, or whom looks average but loses their breath walking up a flight of stairs as they don't take care of themselves)

 

Why? What gives you the right to make prejudge mental thoughts about someone who does not fit your description of looking a certain way?

 

Nothing gives me the "right" and I never claimed to have the "right" - I admitted however that I do have these thoughts....I would say many people have "thoughts" - I just admitted I do.

 

I have faced people whom called me anorexic because I am smaller (I eat healthy, work out a lot...but am not anorexic) and that bothers me as I USED to be anorexic and it is a trigger for me. I am "prejudged" too. It goes both ways.

 

It's not about people looking a certain way - people are beautiful in all shapes and sizes, but as someone whom lives a very active/healthy lifestyle and worries about my health (not just appearance) I do worry about people whom seem to be putting their health in danger - whether they are normal weight, low weight or heavier.

[Entomon]

I don't want to say why some are critical of overweight people but I would like to say that rather than taking their comments as insults - apply them as motivation to better yourself instead.

 

I'd never tell overweight people they are fat but I would tell them that their weight is not doing their heart any good.

[Inspirational]

Honestly.

 

I really think a lot of this has to do however with the company you keep. For the same reason I won't associate with people whom make fun of (or are prejudicial) against homosexuals, other races...I won't associate with people whom would do this towards overweight people either. Generally someone's personality/character fits with whether they would do this...and I honestly don't have friends whom are this way.

 

I also admitted I do have preconceptions of overweight people (and not just "myth" but reality - even being 5lbs overweight puts you at 20% higher risk for heart attack for example even with normal blood pressure and not smoking....so it is not "healthier"). Though I also said you can be very UNHEALTHY and be thin (or of normal weight) and I do know overweight people whom live more healthy lifestyles that would make them healthier than "average" sized-people.

 

I just wanted to point out that you contradicted yourself, because you stated that you do not associate with people who judge others for whatever reason. However, you then stated that you do judge overweight people.

 

So which is it? Are you a judgmental person or not? I don't think you're any different, I'm just curious as to what kind of thoughts you have.

[flower99]

"RayKay" I don't make fun of people whom are overweight, but I do admit I do sometimes have thoughts that maybe they just aren't taking care of themselves very well (but to be honest I think that of someone whom is very skinny/unhealthy looking too, or whom looks average but loses their breath walking up a flight of stairs as they don't take care of themselves)

 

Why? What gives you the right to make prejudge mental thoughts about someone who does not fit your description of looking a certain way?

 

To be completely honest, I'll admit I've thought the exact same as RayKay.

It's that we have a right to make prejudge mental thoughts, (but we are all human & everyone has them only some don't admit it).....It's more so that being excessively overweight is extremly unhealthy,every doctor would tell you that, and we all know that...so perhaps that's why the thought of 'maybe they aren't taking care of themselves crosses the mind'

But what crosses my mind, doesn't determine how I treat a person...I still treat them with kindness & respect like every person deserves, everyone has feelings & there is always more to a person than we know.

[Inspirational]

Nothing gives me the "right" and I never claimed to have the "right" - I admitted however that I do have these thoughts....I would say many people have "thoughts" - I just admitted I do.

 

I have faced people whom called me anorexic because I am smaller (I eat healthy, work out a lot...but am not anorexic) and that bothers me as I USED to be anorexic and it is a trigger for me. I am "prejudged" too. It goes both ways.

 

It's not about people looking a certain way - people are beautiful in all shapes and sizes, but as someone whom lives a very active/healthy lifestyle and worries about my health (not just appearance) I do worry about people whom seem to be putting their health in danger - whether they are normal weight, low weight or heavier.

 

OK, that sums it up for me. You weren't explaining yourself in depth for me to understand. I totally see where you are coming from now. I really wasn't trying to offend you or anything, I just wanted to know what you thought.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I don't want to say why some are critical of overweight people but I would like to say that rather than taking their comments as insults - apply them as motivation to better yourself instead.

 

I'd never tell overweight people they are fat but I would tell them that their weight is not doing their heart any good.

 

I don't think overweight people need unsolicited advice from others. They are just as knowledgeable as the rest of the world on what is healthy and what isn't. Everybody, in some way, makes choices that are not the best...be it being overweight, drinking a little too much, not eating enough vegetables, shopping too much, whatever. I have seen people make disparaging or patronizing remarks about someone who is overweight...of course not to their face...and it is often dressed up as trying to be helpful...they are really backhanded digs and a feeling of being superior. As for the change in a person who has lost weight...that has nothing to do with having lower self esteem beforehand...it has to do with having a major accomplishment and feeling good about it. Just because someone is overweight, doesn't mean they don't have a healthy self-esteem.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

.

 

I'd never tell overweight people they are fat but I would tell them that their weight is not doing their heart any good.

 

why? what business is it of yours?

 

i'm not trying to be a wise guy ..or start a problem...but why do people feel that it is their right or their duty to tell an overweight person that being overweight is not healthy? Or that they are overweight?

 

what? now being overweight affects your brain cells and your vision? you mean ... to tell me that you think this person needs you to tell them what they know already?

 

you need to tell them what they drill into their own head Every. Single. Day???

 

Like i said ..until you have struggled with your weight and felt what it feels like... mind your business.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

To be completely honest, I'll admit I've thought the exact same as RayKay.

It's that we have a right to make prejudge mental thoughts, (but we are all human & everyone has them only some don't admit it).....it's that being excessively overweight is extremly unhealthy,every doctor would tell you that, and we all know that...so perhaps that's why the thought of 'maybe they aren't taking care of themselves crosses the mind'

But what crosses my mind, doesn't determine how I treat a person...I still treat them with kindness & respect like every person deserves, everyone has feelings & there is always more to a person than we know.

 

There are plenty of normal weight people who don't take care of themselves...don't visit a doctor regularly and have other issues. Plenty of people who are heavy into sports don't take care of themselves...they muck up their knees and their joints and later on in life suffer tremendously.

[Inspirational]

To be completely honest, I'll admit I've thought the exact same as RayKay.

It's that we have a right to make prejudge mental thoughts....it's that being excessively overweight is extremly unhealthy,every doctor would tell you that, and we all know that...so perhaps that's why the thought of 'maybe they aren't taking care of themselves crosses the mind'

But what crosses my mind, doesn't determine how I treat a person...I still treat them with kindness & respect like every person deserves, everyone has feelings & there is always more to a person than we know.

 

You can't assume that someone doesn't take care of themselves, because they carry a little weight. It's not fair to that person. Whether you are 5 lbs or 100 lbs overweight, it's just not fair to them.

 

When you judge someone for the first time, it's that "thought" you first had that motivates the relationship to go on or not. If you think someone doesn't take care of themselves, do you honestly believe that you're going to want to befriend them??

 

And that brings us back to the original person of this post, she said that she comes accross differently and probably doesn't have many friends.

 

It's not fair for you or anyone to make "judgments" regarding someone else's weight or how they look. You worry about yourself and if you have children, them, but to even contemplate on whether someone else is taking care of themselves is not nice, unless you're are a doctor telling that to a patient.

[flower99]

There are plenty of normal weight people who don't take care of themselves...don't visit a doctor regularly and have other issues. Plenty of people who are heavy into sports don't take care of themselves...they muck up their knees and their joints and later on in life suffer tremendously.

 

Oh no doubt...I'm fully aware of that.

[ghost69]

No one was mean to me. I'm sick of seeing people treat others like crap.

 

For one weight gain happens with hypothyroidism, under active thyroid, weight lose happens with hyperthyroidism, over active thyroid. The thyroid is a significant part of weight control as it controls metabolism, so if its bogus that the metabolic control isn't working how do you explain one of the first signs of thyroid disease being weight change.

 

oh, i know it's a sign of initial weight gain. doesn't mean it can't be corrected. you might have to change your diet and work out more or something. i just hate the excuse for people that KNOW what their problem is. yet they continue to use the excuse and keep the same lifestyle.

[Inspirational]

Nothing gives me the "right" and I never claimed to have the "right" - I admitted however that I do have these thoughts....I would say many people have "thoughts" - I just admitted I do.

 

I have faced people whom called me anorexic because I am smaller (I eat healthy, work out a lot...but am not anorexic) and that bothers me as I USED to be anorexic and it is a trigger for me. I am "prejudged" too. It goes both ways.

 

It's not about people looking a certain way - people are beautiful in all shapes and sizes, but as someone whom lives a very active/healthy lifestyle and worries about my health (not just appearance) I do worry about people whom seem to be putting their health in danger - whether they are normal weight, low weight or heavier.

 

Raykay, I also wanted to point out that it must have been very hard for you when dealing with anorexia. And from that, you probably learned that the world can be harsh and very judgemental, so didn't that "motivate" you to be the better person of all? I mean, why are you still even judging people? Just because you work out and eat healthily, doesn't make you any better than someone else, and you know this. You're a smart person, so why would you even assume someone doesn't take care of themselves if they are a little overweight. There are people out there who "really" put a beating on their body everyday from smoking to drinking and all kinds of things.

[Inspirational]

why? what business is it of yours?

 

i'm not trying to be a wise guy ..or start a problem...but why do people feel that it is their right or their duty to tell an overweight person that being overweight is not healthy? Or that they are overweight?

 

what? now being overweight affects your brain cells and your vision? you mean ... to tell me that you think this person needs you to tell them what they know already?

 

you need to tell them what they drill into their own head Every. Single. Day???

 

Like i said ..until you have struggled with your weight and felt what it feels like... mind your business.

 

haha...THANK YOU!!!!!!

 

Now, we're talking!

 

I honestly don't even think people should contemplate someone else's outer-identity, and the ones who do are very shallow beings..

[ghost69]

Raykay, I also wanted to point out that it must have been very hard for you when dealing with anorexia. And from that, you probably learned that the world can be harsh and very judgemental, so didn't that "motivate" you to be the better person of all? I mean, why are you still even judging people? Just because you work out and eat healthily, doesn't make you any better than someone else, and you know this. You're a smart person, so why would you even assume someone doesn't take care of themselves if they are a little overweight. There are people out there who "really" put a beating on their body everyday from smoking to drinking and all kinds of things.

 

where did you derive that from raykay's post? she says she is better than others? never saw that in any of her posts.

[RayKay]

I just wanted to point out that you contradicted yourself, because you stated that you do not associate with people who judge others for whatever reason. However, you then stated that you do judge overweight people.

 

So which is it? Are you a judgmental person or not? I don't think you're any different, I'm just curious as to what kind of thoughts you have.

 

What I said was I do not associate with people whom would humiliate others in public. I am sure many people I associate with have "preconceived ideas".

 

For example, my brother is gay. I do know some people whom are very opposed to certain gay rights, or don't "believe" in it....however they are very respectful of their views and would NEVER speak against MY beliefs, or my brother. That is very different then being around someone whom makes "gay jokes" or calls them terrible names.

 

I admitted I have preconceived notions of overweight (and by this I mean truly overweight); but I realize they are judgments and I don't make fun of people - rather I hope they take charge of their health. That is quite different than thinking they are "wrong" or "terrible" people or calling them names...

 

Maybe that makes more sense?

[JadedStar]

I don't think overweight people need unsolicited advice from others. They are just as knowledgeable as the rest of the world on what is healthy and what isn't. Everybody, in some way, makes choices that are not the best...be it being overweight, drinking a little too much, not eating enough vegetables, shopping too much, whatever. I have seen people make disparaging or patronizing remarks about someone who is overweight...of course not to their face...and it is often dressed up as trying to be helpful...they are really backhanded digs and a feeling of being superior. As for the change in a person who has lost weight...that has nothing to do with having lower self esteem beforehand...it has to do with having a major accomplishment and feeling good about it. Just because someone is overweight, doesn't mean they don't have a healthy self-esteem.

 

I think this is very key. It is the "unsolicited" so called advice that bothers people.

[Inspirational]

where did you derive that from raykay's post? she says she is better than others? never saw that in any of her posts.

 

She said that she has thoughts about other people who are overweight, underweight, etc. I think it's wrong to judge other people in general. A thought about someone else is a "judgment" even if you don't follow through, it's still a "prejudge mental" thought.

[RayKay]

Raykay, I also wanted to point out that it must have been very hard for you when dealing with anorexia. And from that, you probably learned that the world can be harsh and very judgemental, so didn't that "motivate" you to be the better person of all? I mean, why are you still even judging people? Just because you work out and eat healthily, doesn't make you any better than someone else, and you know this. You're a smart person, so why would you even assume someone doesn't take care of themselves if they are a little overweight. There are people out there who "really" put a beating on their body everyday from smoking to drinking and all kinds of things.

 

 

I NEVER said I thought I was better. I never said I was "right" for thinking this...I was just honest in admitting I did have these ideas.

 

I have friends whom ARE overweight and I think they are wonderful people. I don't hold their weight against them, but I DO notice they aren't exactly healthy either.

 

I also said several times that people whom are average weight, or thin, can be just as unhealthy (in fact you quoted it) and if I see someone whom is thin and eats like crap, I still think they are unhealthy.

 

Being overweight also puts a beating on your body - of my friends I know many whom have circulation problems, joint and breathing problems. It's not like I am out of left field for saying if you are overweight you are putting your health at risk (just as you would if you smoked, were an alcoholic or liked to eat thumbtacks).