Wandering eye...

[lunatic]

What kind of pig would that make me?

 

A single pig like me. lol Sorry I could not resist! hee hee

[JadedStar]

This past weekend I was on vacation with my girlfriend, we went to the beach, and she said "how about this spot here, it has a great view" she was talking about the girl in front of me with an A+ body and fake boobs... when the girl got up to leave my GF even said, "you should go ask your friend if she wants your number." I will only date girls that are confident in that type of situation, because I look at the menu, but never do I order.

 

I honestly think your g/f was using some serious sarcasm here. You do know that, right? Sounds like she referred to this chick as your new friend and said maybe offer your number because perhaps you were admiring a bit too much?

[JadedStar]

A single pig like me. lol Sorry I could not resist! hee hee

 

LOL well you are single. YOu can look all you want without repercussions. LOL

[Beec]

Sorry Beec, if a man cannot refrain from being visibly distracted then they are indeed in need of some help.

 

If a man doesn't look at a good looking woman that passes by, he is probably not into women.

 

I have not been called on looking except like twice in the past seven years. But don't think that I don't or that any man doesn't. The best men get is more subtle and better at not showing they were looking. Every man I know that has stopped looking, did so when he was dead. That doesn't mean all of them get caught or are obvious, but learing how to do that takes a long time. Men look, period.

[99gagt]

I honestly think your g/f was using some serious sarcasm here. You do know that, right? Sounds like she referred to this chick as your new friend and said maybe offer your number because perhaps you were admiring a bit too much?

 

Nope, I just have a gf that is not uptight, she trusts me and has no reason not too. I could care less if she told me some guy was hot, especially if we don't know the person, she's leaving with me and vice versa.

[Miss Firecracker]

Sort of strange, you married this man who looks at women. You made a vow to him, and now you're ready to go back on it because he looks at women?

 

Or did he never look at them until after the ceremony?

[lunatic]

If a man doesn't look at a good looking woman that passes by, he is probably not into women.

 

I have not been called on looking except like twice in the past seven years. But don't think that I don't or that any man doesn't. The best men get is more subtle and better at not showing they were looking. Every man I know that has stopped looking, did so when he was dead. That doesn't mean all of them get caught or are obvious, but learning how to do that takes a long time. Men look, period.

 

 

I agree with you Beec but, from what I gather he is doing it to excess. I mean almost to the point of the tongue hanging out with a little slobber of drool. I look but, for a second or two then I continue on my merry way. Well that is if I am with a girlfriend(past) I would look quickly and move on. From what I gather her husband is looking and staring almost to the point of being creepy.

 

Looking is natural but, staring and being creepy about it is not normal around his wife.

[99gagt]

fnlyfrei

 

sorry for the flame didn't mean to piss you off.

 

I'm just don't understand the reason why you would consider a divorce over the fact that he looks... I understand it makes you uncomfortable, but a divorce? There has to be more going on here, except for looking.

 

Do you love him?

[JadedStar]

If a man doesn't look at a good looking woman that passes by, he is probably not into women.

 

I have not been called on looking except like twice in the past seven years. But don't think that I don't or that any man doesn't. The best men get is more subtle and better at not showing they were looking. Every man I know that has stopped looking, did so when he was dead. That doesn't mean all of them get caught or are obvious, but learing how to do that takes a long time. Men look, period.

 

I am saying that they can look w/out it being obvious. I can assure you both current and ex hubby were very much into women.

 

There is a way to look at a person discreetly. I have done it myself. If you have to let your head jerk around to look, perhaps you have not worked hard enough on tact around your girl? I am not bashing you, just really asking a legit question.

 

Saying that the men who are respectful enough not to appear distracted when a girl walks by are not into women is pretty disrespectful all on its own. Come on, i am sure there are men out there who would not appreciate being labeled this way.

 

There is a distinct difference between a subtle, non noticeable glance and a head jerking around or appearing distracted over some woman's "hotness".

[fnlyfrei]

Nope, I just have a gf that is not uptight, she trusts me and has no reason not too. I could care less if she told me some guy was hot, especially if we don't know the person, she's leaving with me and vice versa.

 

 

If I did the SAME thing...If I asked my husband if he would like the 19 year olds number that he was watching walk for 100 yards while standing frozen in the parking lot when I was right there NEXT to him....he would probably take it as "I caught you oogling...again...and I don't like it !" Not, wow, what a confident statement ! I think your girlfriend was telling you something else really. Ultra-confidence would probably be total indifference on a woman's part. I am NOT totally confident. I am 41 and the women he checks out are young enough to be his (and my) daughters. I have told him how his behavior makes me feel. I guess people are right though, if I cannot handle his habits...I guess I need to leave.

[JadedStar]

Nope, I just have a gf that is not uptight, she trusts me and has no reason not too. I could care less if she told me some guy was hot, especially if we don't know the person, she's leaving with me and vice versa.

 

I honestly do not think her statement asking if she should give that chick your number was a show of confidence.

 

Maybe she is the one woman out of 200 where that statement was not sarcastic. Most women i know who said that are really ticked off but maybe can't come right out and say it.

 

I am sure you know your girl, or at least i hope you know what she really meant. Sounds like a sarcastic statement to me. I am not sure i'd want to date a person who was so confident they would give my number out to hot guys I leered at. That goes a few levels beyond confidence to almost creepy. JMO

[99gagt]

If I did the SAME thing...If I asked my husband if he would like the 19 year olds number that he was watching walk for 100 yards while standing frozen in the parking lot when I was right there NEXT to him....he would probably take it as "I caught you oogling...again...and I don't like it !" Not, wow, what a confident statement ! I think your girlfriend was telling you something else really. Ultra-confidence would probably be total indifference on a woman's part. I am NOT totally confident. I am 41 and the women he checks out are young enough to be his (and my) daughters. I have told him how his behavior makes me feel. I guess people are right though, if I cannot handle his habits...I guess I need to leave.

 

 

See, she pointed out the girl to me in the beginning before I even noticed. My ex would do the same thing, she knew I had a thing for red heads, she would point out hot red heads to me. Hell, she gave me $100 for my 21st birthday years ago because she knew I was going to a strip club, it was to get lap dances... I don't get along with girls that don't accept the fact that I will look, but never cheat. EVER.

[JadedStar]

See, she pointed out the girl to me in the beginning before I even noticed. My ex would do the same thing, she knew I had a thing for red heads, she would point out hot red heads to me. Hell, she gave me $100 for my 21st birthday years ago because she knew I was going to a strip club, it was to get lap dances... I don't get along with girls that don't accept the fact that I will look, but never cheat. EVER.

 

Well God Bless ya.

 

I do not think, however, that saying that girls that are not that liberal are defective of sorts.

 

That goes beyond confidence, that is just a person who is downright liberal way more than the average bear. I'd have reservations about someone that liberal but for differnet reasons.

[99gagt]

I honestly do not think her statement asking if she should give that chick your number was a show of confidence.

 

Maybe she is the one woman out of 200 where that statement was not sarcastic. Most women i know who said that are really ticked off but maybe can't come right out and say it.

 

I am sure you know your girl, or at least i hope you know what she really meant. Sounds like a sarcastic statement to me. I am not sure i'd want to date a person who was so confident they would give my number out to hot guys I leered at. That goes a few levels beyond confidence to almost creepy. JMO

 

She was joking, I know that... completely... what I am getting at is she was not jealous.

[miracle29]

Being married for as long as I have, or just being with my Partner as long as I have, I honestly have way less of an issue with this than I’ve had before. I have noticed that its usually the men who try to hide the fact that they look at other women, more of a “RED FLAG” then the ones who do it right in your face. They pretend like they don’t’ look then behind your back, they may even be doing more. Also if you make this huge deal out of it, he may hide it and it can lead to resentment and him turning into a real “red flag” type of guy. He may even do it out of spite. I have noticed two things…..

 

 

The women who could care less about their men looking, have happier men who usually don’t do anymore than take a quick peek here and there.

 

And now..drum roll……….. I have also noticed that NOTHING can cure the man’s wondering eye, like a woman developing her own “oops I could not help myself he was so fine I had to look” disease . He will still look, but he won’t be drooling that’s for sure. He will do it with respect, because he will see how rude it is to be gaga over someone else when you’re his woman, if you show him what it feels like. I look too, and my husband does as well, but we have a rule and it works, as long as the persons we look at don’t see us looking at them, no harm..no foul.

[Batya33]

The relevance here is respect. Each couple has to decide on their own when that line is crossed into disrespect. My father used to love when my mother said, when the phone rang, with a twinkle in her eye, "oh, that must be my lover calling ;-)" for others that would be an occasion to storm out I am sure. (mom and dad have only been married 51 years; so far, so good). I think for most people ogling is disrespectful and for most people pointing out a hot person to your SO and having your SO look or make a comment is probably ok, with lots of gray areas in between.

[miracle29]

See, she pointed out the girl to me in the beginning before I even noticed. My ex would do the same thing, she knew I had a thing for red heads, she would point out hot red heads to me. Hell, she gave me $100 for my 21st birthday years ago because she knew I was going to a strip club, it was to get lap dances... I don't get along with girls that don't accept the fact that I will look, but never cheat. EVER.

 

 

See..he's a looker not a cheater! most lookers are just that..lookers...name one cheater who's gonna let you know he's a sneak...thats why they call it CHEATING. Because he's cheating you out of what you thought you had..a good deal!

[miracle29]

The relevance here is respect. Each couple has to decide on their own when that line is crossed into disrespect. My father used to love when my mother said, when the phone rang, with a twinkle in her eye, "oh, that must be my lover calling ;-)" for others that would be an occasion to storm out I am sure. (mom and dad have only been married 51 years; so far, so good). I think for most people ogling is disrespectful and for most people pointing out a hot person to your SO and having your SO look or make a comment is probably ok, with lots of gray areas in between.

 

 

Only 51 year..ha..those amateurs. LMAO..of course i'm being totally sarcastic. good for them.

[fnlyfrei]

When we were first seriously dating he invited me to thanksgiving at his mums house...his third cousin was there...she is a 17 year old girl. He fawned over her and made a dessert plate especially for her. I thought he was sweet because his own daughter is 18 and lives in another state.

When the girl left, he couldn't stop talking about her...how she had "developed" and changed, etc...I found how animated he became a bit creepy.

 

Yes, and his staring at young girls further fed the suspicion that they float his boat more than on a fatherly level. I know they turn him on. So why did he marry someone his own age?

[Fiancee1]

Thats not an issue! probably, the next guy ull find will be the same kind of but not as honest as ur current hubby.

[Fiancee1]

I just saw ur last post about the 18 years old girl ! i thought, u guys must be in ure 20s!

 

Well, if its that the case, i think, u should MOVE ON!!

[JadedStar]

I disagree that the men who try not to become distracted over a pretty girl are doing far more behind their ladies back.

 

That is a preposterous statement. That would mean every man who is respectful is a potential cheater. That is hogwash plain and simple. Even my GUY FRIENDS do not get distracted over a pretty girl if they are in the company of other women.

 

Fnlyfrei, what he did around his young cousin was appalling. I can't think many women would not have been disgusted by that behavior.

[miracle29]

When we were first seriously dating he invited me to thanksgiving at his mums house...his third cousin was there...she is a 17 year old girl. He fawned over her and made a dessert plate especially for her. I thought he was sweet because his own daughter is 18 and lives in another state.

When the girl left, he couldn't stop talking about her...how she had "developed" and changed, etc...I found how animated he became a bit creepy.

 

Yes, and his staring at young girls further fed the suspicion that they float his boat more than on a fatherly level. I know they turn him on. So why did he marry someone his own age?

 

 

Ok, more details. This is much less about his wandering eyes as it is his wandering towards the minus 18yr level yes?

 

Ok, so now the real issue here is not you just being a little annoyed with his looking, its that he may actually have a thing for younger women. Hell if you are as young as you say..what the hell else could he want. I think this issue is a lot deeper than him looking at "other women" this man may have a thing for ones that are below..uh..sea level. No pun intended.

 

Your choice , and its yours, is to either put up with it, or realize that he does not suit you and move to someone who wont cause you to feel this way.

[JoeWho]

I think almost every guy checks out women. Its the the way we are but the way you look at another girl when you are with your wife or girlfriend should be a lot different than the way you look at one when you are with your friends.

 

What your husband is doing is basically showing you a lack of respect especially if you voiced your displeasure with his wandering eye as you stated you had. This I think is the bigger problem here, his lack of respect and not whether his wandering eye will lead to him cheating eventually.

[JadedStar]

I think almost every guy checks out women. Its the the way we are but the way you look a another girl when you are with your wife or girlfriend should be a lot different than the way you look at one when you are with your friends.

 

What your husband is doing is basically showing you a lack of respect especially if you voiced your displeasure with his wandering eye as you stated you had. This I think is the bigger problem here, his lack of respect and not whether or not his wandering eye will lead to him cheating eventually.

 

EXACTLY Joe.

 

THat is what I was getting at. If you cannot show some tact when with your wife, then yeah i would REALLY wonder what a guy like that does when alone vs saying the guys who do show tact are potentially cheaters.

 

I agree with you, and like i said prior it is more a lack of respect as being the issue it seems.

 

Most guys look at P0RN too but i would be appalled if my husband looked while i was right there as if it was no big deal.