If I am so hot then why don't men approach me?

[JadedStar]

Sometimes it is as simple as when you are out the men around have g/f's. More people it seems out and about are attached than not, so you are not going to be approached if they are not single themselves.

 

Another aspect could be the vibe you give off. Some attractive people seem "unapproachable" not because there looks are intimidating but they are not putting off a very out there and friendly vibe. Some attractive people are the most insecure and sometimes even shy believe it or not and this is not really a great people attractor.

 

Another element that I have noticed is that the attractive girls go out expecting to BE approached and maybe the guys there are not really the type that hits on women and do not feel comfortable approaching her out of the blue for fear of looking like a horndog. I say you have to be equally approaching or talking to guys so that you are giving off the vibe that you are approachable yourself.

 

Without knowing you I have no way of knowing what might be your case or situation.

 

When I was single my biggest frustration was when I would go out the guys in my vicinity were all either married or had a g/f at home.

[JadedStar]

Just read this thread with interest - do you think, and some other posters have touched on this, that a feeling that you are 'so hot that people are scared of me' might well come accross as being a wee bit vain, which is not attractive.

 

Whoa Honey Pumpkin you said this very well! I was going down this path when I talked about being careful to not give the unapproachable vibe and this is the very thing I was thinking.

 

You just articulated this perfectly and much better than I did. I think this happens far mroe than people realize.

 

When I was young and single I was told that i appeared vain. I was SHOCKED. reality was i was shy back then, and i didn't approach people and when they approached me the shyness was misinterpreted as being snotty.

[RedPenguin]

That's a question I've always asked. Why am I so damn hot and yet no one ever really approaches me?

 

One thing I found funny was, I love when a really pretty girl walks into the room, and I am the only guy who ever seems to notice her. It's like what the heck are you other guys thinking? It's like others guys are not interested in pretty girls at all or something LoL.

 

I can't tell you how many times, a pretty girl walks in to the room, and there are a ton of guys in the room, but I usually am the only one who ever even takes a look at her, and I'm like, are all these other guys having vision problems, LoL?

 

Anyway, I used to be completely nervous to ever really look at a girl pretty, because it felt like she was the judge and I was the defendant and she says whether I get the prize (her) or get the heck out of there empty handed, LoL.

 

Now I look at the girls no matter what, I don't really care anymore, and it seems to really help, because I get a lot of reaction now, that they seem to like being looked at, and I think because they are never really looked at and no guy really seems to have courage to flirt with them.

 

And for those girls who hate when guys look at their breasts and behind constantly, don't worry, I will not look constantly, but hey, you can't expect me to never look and hate what's in those jeans, though I DO NOT like big butts but still cannot lie., LoL.

[txblues]

how do you look at these girls? do you give it a good 3 or 4 seconds. do you smile. do you wait for them to turn away. or turn away first after 3 or 4 seconds?

 

i played the eye contact game with a girl the other day in a restuarant. made eye contact with a girl for a good 3 or 4 seconds. she looked away for a second then looked back at me, only i was still holding eye contact. i felt a little foolish and ignored her.

[SexySadie7]

Gosh, reading this post makes me SO glad I'm not THAT hot! How shallow you girls think! LOL

And for the thing about if you have a really hot guy, that all these girls are going to be after him, hey, cannot a guy say, No, sorry I'm taken!" Because if the guy is into you, that is exactly what he will do if someone else approaches him, no matter how handsome he is. Give the "hot" guy a little credit that he could have some integrity too, please.

[RedPenguin]

HeHe, LoL. I just look at them, and I guess hope they look at me, and then if they look back, I try to flirt a little, by acting like, hey, you seen me, do you like me? You know, you get into all that silly flirt behavior that we do.

 

I don't think we are to 100% ignore pretty girls like most guys I see do. I think I have luck with girls because, I think they expect most guys, even if they do look, to look away and act like he never looked before, but I let myself get caught, basically, I try to give off that feeling that, hey you are pretty, but I'm not afraid of you, you are just a pretty girl and even though I want you, I have other choices but show me, why I should like you.

 

See, it's hard to put into words, but I think also, what helps me, get pretty girl's attention is, that, if they start acting stuck-up or like they are too good for me, I just move on, to another girl, I don't deal with girls that think they are way too good for me, or similar. I am not 100% positive on this, but I think this makes them kinda remember you way more, because you then become basically the exception, where they have to think to themselves, how is he not playing by my rules? How can he just ignore me like that? That's why I don't try to get the GaGa-Goo-Goo look when I like a girl, making her feel like she is in charge and I am her dog. I also somewhat give that feeling of confidence like, I can get you instead of most guys who give the feeling of, "Oh my gawd, I want you!!!!". LoL.

[itsallgrand]

You girls are going to have a tougher time when you get older. When youth fades, the world you know will no longer be hanging on your every swish and batting of your eyelashes.

 

What will you do? Your inner beauty is starved for some of that attention.

 

This story is as old as the hills. You see the world like a fool.

[Leonhart]

You girls are going to have a tougher time when you get older. When youth fades, the world you know will no longer be hanging on your every swish and batting of your eyelashes.

 

What will you do? Your inner beauty is starved for some of that attention.

 

This story is as old as the hills. You see the world like a fool.

 

What if their inner beauty is as radiant as their outer beauty? Then what?

[JadedStar]

What if their inner beauty is as radiant as their outer beauty? Then what?

 

Then when they get old and their looks fade they have a LOT to fall back on.

They will handle aging much better than women who depend solely on their looks. Women like that (who base their worth on their beauty) tend to become very depressed and unhappy when they get older.

 

I can spot the differences in these kinds of women within a few moments of conversation many times. I have met as many beautiful inside and out girls as I have beautiful on outside only. The ones who are both seem to have a real magnetism, you can't help but like being around them, both men and women flock to a beautiful women who is beautiful inside and out. Society flocks to pretty things to begin with so when you have a double whammy like this you can't help but like them. Even jealous women can't help but like this type of woman.

 

I cannot say if the ladies on this thread fall into one category or the other as I have never met them face to face.

[Leonhart]

Then when they get old and their looks fade they have a LOT to fall back on.

They will handle aging much better than women who depend solely on their looks. Women like that (who base their worth on their beauty) tend to become very depressed and unhappy when they get older.

 

I know. I've studied this in school. lol

 

I'm just saying it's stupid to assume all attractive girls have no personality. That sounds like jealousy and sour grapes to me. I've met some very kind and sweet girls who are every bit as wonderful on the inside as they are on the outside.

[RedPenguin]

You girls are going to have a tougher time when you get older. When youth fades, the world you know will no longer be hanging on your every swish and batting of your eyelashes.

 

What will you do? Your inner beauty is starved for some of that attention.

 

This story is as old as the hills. You see the world like a fool.

 

I agree with you completely, because I've noticed that at a certain age, you have to be "someone", you have to either be in a gang or you have to be "popular" but once you get to that college age, girls seem to make way more sense, they finally start to see that you need to go after a guy who will have a future, not one that will use and abuse you and go in and out of jail or just be a lazy bum all his life, living off of you working at a job.

 

See anyone can tell, I am not that kind of person, that's why I think, once girls finally get to that age or at least mental age, that they need to actually look for a "good guy", I think is when I finally start to get noticed because like I've always said, I've never been noticed in High School, except maybe a very few times. That's why I often joke and call High School age the "dumb age" even though I know girls are not "dumb" at the time, just ignorant. I do believe believe who talk about this mental age, because I've gotten girls from High School, that are actually starting to notice me, talking to me, and acting like they knew me from way back for some reason, like we hung out or something LoL. Now it's like all the sudden they want to be friends with me, it's kinda funny.

 

It has to be that, because I've really changed nothing with myself, I mean, I've always been sweet, always forgiving of people, only thing that changed was my confidence but I had that somewhat in High School also.

 

Also, I don't know if it's a depression or just lack of energy or what, but I've noticed that many people, which I'm surprised, around the ages of college, 18+, many of them just seem dead. I mean, I've always thought that was the age of having fun (not drinking and sex fun) but I mean living a little, laughing and giggling, just not acting 100% serious completely but I've noticed tons of people in my college, who just act dead, like they are going to always fall asleep LoL. Compared to most of them, it's like I am on steroids or something, because I have way more energy, but I am defiantly not on drugs LOL.

[itsallgrand]

What if their inner beauty is as radiant as their outer beauty? Then what?

 

Then all is great!

 

The problem is, if you spend all your time focused on how hot you are outside, your insides tend to get neglected in the process.

 

Fading beauties who go through a lot of pain when reality hits them on the nose.

[RedPenguin]

I agree there. No all pretty woman are not void of personality or compassion. I do not think itsallgrand was saying that....I think she is just addressing certain posts based on the content of them.

 

That is definatly true. I do notice though, it seems like sometimes the cute girls as some guys would put it, the ones who are pretty but not ugly but not hot hot hot, usually seem to have great personalities but the ones that think they are ugly or think they are not really attractive seem to usually have the best personalities, other then putting themselves down, they never seem scared to have fun.

 

I did meet this new girl, who is gorgeous to me, but has a personality that I just rarely see, full of energy, happiness and smiling constantly. A lot of the pretty girls I've seen don't usually seem to have that full of energy personality, so it draws me to her, and I hope she likes similar to her in a mate, because then I would be her perfect match, I love to have fun. . LoL.

[itsallgrand]

By the by, I know I can come accross harsh and a bit sour.

I was not trying to be mean-spirited or to fit any of the posters here into a certain category.

 

Just based on the posts I saw, many of which I found quite distasteful and crude, I had become irritated and formed an impression of some ideas and beliefs behind the words.

[Leonhart]

Well, I'm just saying I've met plenty of great girls who are real beauties. I've found plenty of horrid girls (and guys too) who have terrible personalities and look like a truck ran them over. I don't think how someone looks has anything to do with their personality.

 

I haven't read the first 5 or 6 pages of this thing. It's too much for me.

[txblues]

HeHe, LoL. I just look at them, and I guess hope they look at me, and then if they look back, I try to flirt a little, by acting like, hey, you seen me, do you like me? You know, you get into all that silly flirt behavior that we do.

 

 

unfortunately i'm new to the game of flirting. thanks for the advice, i'll play the eye contact game more often and see how it goes...

[RedPenguin]

Yeah, I noticed in community college which I am in now, the girls are way more willing to flirt and don't really seem stuck up at all. That defiantly wasn't the way in high school, you could send a rose to a girl on valentines day and she would laugh and her friends would laugh at you and be mean.

 

Why are some girls like that anyway? I mean, I saw some really mean like girls in High School, I almost couldn't believe it, it was like, you do something nice for them, say they are pretty, or send them a rose, like I said before, they act like you are an idiot or like you just committed a crime? But then, I do the same thing in college, and girls actually enjoy it, and some find me the one of the sweetest guys they have ever seen?

 

Basically, my question is, how can a guy be an idiot and a goofball for telling girls he likes them in school but yet in college he suddenly is like the sweetest guy? Why would a sweet guy seem like an idiot in High School, that makes no sense to me what so ever. I've seen tons of sweet guys turned down in High School but in college, it's like they do nothing to change, but seem to like turn in to players, even without trying. I have many friends like that, in school, girls seem to hate them, out of school, girls go nuts. Why does stuff like that happen? It always made me laugh.

 

In college, girls will actually talk to me and smile not like they acted towards me in High School.

 

I can't remember who said it, but I remember reading, that sometimes girls will say that they have a bf, if they don't like a guy, and I defiantly think I can believe that, because I have a friend who is nice and tries to be nice, but he has a way of really annoying girls and getting himself thrown out of places like the student lounge at our school, and there is one girl he talks to, and he claims she has a boyfriend, but the minute I went near her, she certainly to me, was not acting like she had a bf.

 

I must have a hyper giving personality, because sometimes when I go near girls, it's like they get hyper as heck, and start doing silly things, LoL. I think I have that happy giving personality, because even guys sometimes can do that when I am around, it's like people are dead, I come around, and actually get a smile out of people. I guess it's all how you do things.

 

It's even happened to me in stores, a couple of times, I've seen cashiers, that, look bored as heck, when checking everyone else out, then all the sudden, I am next, and somehow, they just randomly got all smilish and happy, it's like what the? LoL.

[txblues]

where do you go to community college? is it far away from where you grew up. well there aren't that many girls that seem too into me around here, since i am asian and in this place either your white preppy/trendy, white artistic(tattoos, goatees), asian artsy, or asian gangster... unfortanutely i'm asian trendy. i also notice when i've flirted with girls on the internet from another area of the US they seem to be more receptive of me. so maybe its in the culture of where you are. i do notice when i travel to the closest major metro area asian girls tend to notice me more. i don't know... i think i gotta move...

[AloneAgain2006]

Littlestar, if you are really hot you will get hit on a lot. This applies to any female here who thinks they are actually hot. Some men will get intimidated but trust me, men are men and they will hit on you like crazy if you are actually attractive.

 

Attractive females that work with the public or a lot of male co-workers get hit on left and right. If you really want to see how attractive you are get a job in retail that have males shopping at your store. You will be asked for your phone number a lot. That is if you are indeed attractive.

[TheRedQueen]

Littlestar, if you are really hot you will get hit on a lot. This applies to any female here who thinks they are actually hot. Some men will get intimidated but trust me, men are men and they will hit on you like crazy if you are actually attractive.

 

Attractive females that work with the public or a lot of male co-workers get hit on left and right. If you really want to see how attractive you are get a job in retail that have males shopping at your store. You will be asked for your phone number a lot. That is if you are indeed attractive.

I'm gonna have to say that I agree with him here. Attractive people get hit on a lot more than unattractive people. I was born and raised in Los Angeles and I'll be the first to tell you that the women here tend to be in the elite when it comes to physical attractiveness. And through my own personal experiences and through my countless observations, I can firmly attest that beautiful looking girls not only get more attention from men, but also more solicitations.

[RedPenguin]

where do you go to community college? is it far away from where you grew up. well there aren't that many girls that seem too into me around here, since i am asian and in this place either your white preppy/trendy, white artistic(tattoos, goatees), asian artsy, or asian gangster... unfortanutely i'm asian trendy. i also notice when i've flirted with girls on the internet from another area of the US they seem to be more receptive of me. so maybe its in the culture of where you are. i do notice when i travel to the closest major metro area asian girls tend to notice me more. i don't know... i think i gotta move...

 

Johnstown, PA, da flood city. Worst flood in US history.

[The Strawberry Blonde]

Your situation sounds familiar. I have guys constantly checking me on for size though mostly it amounts to nothing. I get guys tell me I'm hot and all that, even been asked if I've modeled before. And the one's that do take the dive only want an easy lay... but I'm not looking for that, so it seems I can't win, lol.

 

I don't know sometimes I think being hot/attractive is a curse. Than I think better of it.

[JadedStar]

I'm gonna have to say that I agree with him here. Attractive people get hit on a lot more than unattractive people. I was born and raised in Los Angeles and I'll be the first to tell you that the women here tend to be in the elite when it comes to physical attractiveness. And through my own personal experiences and through my countless observations, I can firmly attest that beautiful looking girls not only get more attention from men, but also more solicitations.

 

i agree. i am not sure where these girls are going where they are not getting male attention, but for crying out loud I am 40 and married and I cannot go out alone without getting hit on all the time. So if they are young and hot, i am not sure what vibe they are giving off if they are not getting attention.

 

SOME men are intimidated by a really attractive woman but more than not don't care. their hormones creep in and they can't control it.

 

And I do not think I am one hot mama or anything so if i am hit on regularly, not sure why my younger counterparts are not. I get hit on by men from age of 20 to 60. I find it entertaining. LOL

[RedPenguin]

Well, aren't some women just intimidated by a hot man or just a man with a personality that they adore? I mean, for some reason, no one ever really seems to mention about girls getting intimidated, it's like people seem to make it sound like women never ever get nervous or something which I know is defiantly not true, I've seen girls do some silly stuff when they get nervous around guys, LoL.

 

And as anyone can tell by my pics, being adorable is a curse for me. I just can't help but smile and laugh. Hey, if every cute girl I run in to wants to hit on me, why should I stop her? I can deal with being "victimized", LoL.

[JadedStar]

Well, aren't some women just intimidated by a hot man or just a man with a personality that they adore? I mean, for some reason, no one ever really seems to mention about girls getting intimidated, it's like people seem to make it sound like women never ever get nervous or something which I know is defiantly not true, I've seen girls do some silly stuff when they get nervous around guys, LoL.

 

of course women can get intimidated. the point here is not that SOME men are not intimidated by a hot chick, the point is that for as many that are there are as many who are NOT.