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If I am so hot then why don't men approach me?

littlestar

By littlestar
in Dating Advice

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boo121 Apprentice

boo121

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I have had this issue for a long time now.

My female friends describe me as "hot"

My male friends and people i know well describe me as "hot" but yet no man has ever ever ever dared to approach me.

Now and then i will spot someone looking at me or flirting with me but that's as far as it goes.

 

So my question is if i am so hot then why aren't men approaching me?

A friend once told me "you're to hot and they feel intimidated by you and they think you're most probably taken by the way you look"

 

I totally disagree with her and think that someone being good looking couldn't be a deterent.

What are your thoughts?

 

It's not you, its just the marjority of men out there don't approach women. It can be intimidating to some men, and i'll admit if i see a hot girl i can think (hey is she taken? ... she's probablly stuck up, has a boyfriend etc) but i've proven myself wrong on a lot of occasions. And 9 times out of 10 i can spot approachable good looking girls that don't have the stuck up attitude.

 

My advice - if you're in a club (most likely place you will be approached) smile look friendly, say hi, give him something to work with. A lot of men might be flattered you're talking to them who knows... or why not approach some men yourself? step out of your comfort zone a bit.

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boo121 Apprentice

boo121

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Actually it's very hard to approach strangers in any given situation, especially in bars. No one wants to get the cold shoulder or be called a creep. Maybe you should approach instead since you are attractive and can be intimidating.

 

Actually, bars can be the best place. If she blows you off (which ill tell you, most of the time, girls are polite and won't blow you off) then no1 really cares. Actually no 1 gives a damn anyway if you're ignored when you approach. People are getting on with their own lives. But the only way to get over the fear is to do it yourself.

 

couple years ago, me and my buddy spent a week at university going out, just talking to girls - and it made it a lot easier because i wans't doing it on my own. After the ordeal we were pretty much talking to girls without realising it.... try it

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girl68 Apprentice

girl68

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I can't read the whole thread but just from the title I would guess it's either your attitude, posture or the way you rub off on people. Not saying you are but, you could come off as snobby, rich, b!tchy, rude, concieted or any combination. This is 1 reason.

 

The other reason I could imagine is that maybe guys are intimiated by you. I know that I (as a girl) am intimidated by gorgeous men and would NEVER initiate even a smile or prolonged look. I don't want a man so good looking that he gets that much attention, I just don't perhaps men feel the same way... Just a thought.

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psychoanalytical Collaborator

psychoanalytical

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It may be just me but I don't prefer to just "approach" girls. I prefer to have something in common with someone first before I get to know her. Eg. through a friend, doing something in common at a club. Unless I'm drunk of course.

 

I mean, I guess a guy would worry he comes accross as super cocky if he walks accross the room to hit on someone in broad daylight. Isn't it considered pretty lame to use worn-out pick-up lines?

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manup7228 Explorer

manup7228

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Personally, coming from a guy, if your as smoking as you say you are, most men are probably intimidated. It's just rule of attraction. I would say usually (i use usually loosely) relationships are built between people that have equal attraction to each other, more simply put, they are the same "hotness." So, if your really hot, and unless your a player or drunk male, most guys are just going to be flat out intimidated because they see you as really hot and probably think you wont think the same of them. I don't know what kind of girl you are, you could be snobby, or could be very outgoing, and completely unshallow. I would say its pretty stereotypical amongst guys, at least me and my friends, that if i see a really hot girl, she probably knows shes hot, and there is NOTHING worse than a girl giving you the eye roll as you approach her. So maybe you should send off cues, like smile at them, create eye contact, these give guys the heads up that youll talk to them and then you can go from there.

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Shudder Community Regular

Shudder

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I'm average looking and i get approached heaps. A smile and manners go a long way, so does being REAL.

 

haha. i agree too many times i've seen good looking women walk around with a scowl on their faces. i bet they wonder how come they arent getting approached all that much. and yea nobody likes a fake

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g84 Enthusiast

g84

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haha. i agree too many times i've seen good looking women walk around with a scowl on their faces. i bet they wonder how come they arent getting approached all that much. and yea nobody likes a fake

 

I just wanted to leave a small comment - but a lot of the time people are not aware that they're scowling/frowning. For lots of people, it's just how their face naturally looks when they're not smiling, or when they are thinking of something, so don't always believe that the girl who's scowling is in a bad mood . I understand that a scowl makes a person hard to approach though, but it just sucks because ppl aren't always aware of how they look.

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