If I am so hot then why don't men approach me?

[lil kitty]

there is nothing wrong with taking good care of yourself. i would pick a guy who can take good care of himself over the sloppy guy anyday. I used to dated this really sloppy guy =( it wasn't a good experience. The guy grosses me out soo much

[tmp0620]

I was only kidding.

 

Can you think of any other reason why guys might not approach you other than your intimidating looks and how well you take care of yourselves?

[bettyboop401]

That's so true lil kitty. I'd rather have someone who loves me for my good points AND bad then have someone who wants me to be someone I'm not. Lol! Cliche but true.

 

And I"m sorry...but if looking after myself intimidates them...I SO don't need them in my life! Hahaha! I think I've grown a hard shell after all this lack of attention. LOL!

 

Betty!

[tmp0620]

Are you all kind and cheerful? Do you talk down to people? Do you look like Paris Hilton? Do you act prissy? I've seen some very attractive women that didn't interest me in the slightest for those (and other) reasons. I'm not implying those are the reasons for you all, necessarily, I'm just saying that your hotness alone isn't going to do much for you (except for guys that are only after sex).

[Fisch]

Frankly, I find the most common cause of this is that a beautiful women puts up too much of a social sheild against guys who appear to be hitting on them. So many guys usually approach, oggle, or express romantic interest that this becomes necessary. Now you girls are telling me that you are attractive but never get approached? Unless you dont get out enough. The only explanation is that it is you. Putting up a social sheild can be a very unconscious thing, you have to consider body language, gaze behavoir, voice, proximity, smile, and of course friendliness. I once heard this pretty girl talk about how she never gets approached, and then later tell me that she realized she walked around with a scowl on all day. As for getting dumped by "hot people" I actually read a very interesting article once that said attractive people may be just as unhappy as bad looking people who can never get what they wantand medium looking people are the luckiest. Attractive people always think they can do better so they dont settle down and dont feel satisfied. apparently, statistically the better looking they are, the more likely they are to dump you... Obviously these ideas are not true for every situation, they are just things to consider.

[friscodj]

I have had this issue for a long time now.

My female friends describe me as "hot"

My male friends and people i know well describe me as "hot" but yet no man has ever ever ever dared to approach me.

Now and then i will spot someone looking at me or flirting with me but that's as far as it goes.

 

So my question is if i am so hot then why aren't men approaching me?

A friend once told me "you're to hot and they feel intimidated by you and they think you're most probably taken by the way you look"

 

I totally disagree with her and think that someone being good looking couldn't be a deterent.

What are your thoughts?

 

Hey LS-

 

Good looks can definitely be intimidating, as can body language you may not notice and not be able to tell us about over the Internet.

 

I think men are approaching you to an extent. You mention they look at you and flirt? This is an approach I would say. My guess is you may not be putting yourself out there enough to keep the conversation rolling.

 

The best thing you can do is realize you are "hot" and such a situation does involve a bit of intimidation on the guy's part, or at least the belief that you would be "taken". I can tell you from a guy's perspective, it would be beneficial in your situation to either approach a man or at least be extra cognizant of giving him non-verbal and verbal signals letting him know you are available and interested in continuing a flirtatious conversation.

[lil kitty]

I can't think of any other reason, ironlion85. I don't think I am mean or cold to them. I am a very friendly person. I smile all the time and make friend with anyone who are willing to be my friend.

 

Do you have any ideas why guys don't approach us?

[bettyboop401]

I know where you're coming from scorpio...usually it's the 'average' looking guy I fall for and I get so frustrated when they do nothing. Guess it's just the horrible irony of 'attempting to' date! LOL!

 

I know it doesn't help...but to me...if he couldn't see how beautiful you are inside and out...his MAJOR loss.

 

Betty!

[tmp0620]

I can't think of any other reason, ironlion85. I don't think I am mean or cold to them. I am a very friendly person. I smile all the time and make friend with anyone who are willing to be my friend.

 

Do you have any ideas why guys don't approach us?

 

I'm trying to figure it out

[lil kitty]

aww man that really sucks, scorpio =( i know how that feels

[lil kitty]

yeah long distance doesn't work for me either. The sloppy guy I dated was from canada too. I didn't know how sloppy and gross he was until i went to see him a couple times

[tmp0620]

yeah long distance doesn't work for me either. The sloppy guy I dated was from canada too. I didn't know how sloppy and gross he was until i went to see him a couple times

 

Something about those Canadians...

 

Honestly though, as I've been explaining in another topic... 'average' looking guys might not believe that way above 'average' looking girls are interested in them. Maybe the guy that scorpio sent the e-mail to was disappointed that she only wanted the 'notes' from the class.

[willow2900]

Something about those Canadians...

 

HEY NOW!!!

 

 

[tmp0620]

HEY NOW!!!

 

 

Who said that? 8-[

[willow2900]

Who said that? 8-[

 

I'm not sure...

 

Seriously...we aren't all crazy. We just have our fair share of sloppy crazies like any other country does! And the two who jerked around the posters in this thread are crazy. Best explanation possible!

[ProtestTheHero]

My, oh my. The horrific hardships of being attractive, lol...

 

Well, I suppose it's most likely guys writing you off because they consider you to be in a league above their own.

 

I do that all the time. I write off girls from the getgo if it seems like they are high maintenace and vain. The down to earth beauties...those are rare indeed.

[lil kitty]

what part of canada do you live in willow2900?

 

I am sure there are nice canadian people ^_^ You shouldn't slaughter the whole country just b/c of some weirdos, ironlion85

[Honey Pumpkin]

Just read this thread with interest - do you think, and some other posters have touched on this, that a feeling that you are 'so hot that people are scared of me' might well come accross as being a wee bit vain, which is not attractive.

[Pegasus]

Just read this thread with interest - do you think, and some other posters have touched on this, that a feeling that you are 'so hot that people are scared of me' might well come accross as being a wee bit vain, which is not attractive.

 

I agree...reading this thread made me think - girls, is there anything more that you have than being hot? I don't mean to offense you but why do you think somebody would have to like you? Based just on being hot?

[Weeblie]

I totally disagree with her and think that someone being good looking couldn't be a deterent.

What are your thoughts?

 

For a guy to approach you, he needs to know that you're going to be willing to talk to him. For example, one night I decided to practice my womanly charms and found a guy who looked exactly like my love interest at the time. We made eye contact when I entered the bar. Then later when he passed by my group he made eye contact with me again. I gave him a shy smile, he gave me a surprised look and a huge smile, so then I gave him a huge smile too.

 

He went back to his table of friends, then five minutes later he came up and talked to me.

[Batya33]

I have had this issue for a long time now.

My female friends describe me as "hot"

My male friends and people i know well describe me as "hot" but yet no man has ever ever ever dared to approach me.

Now and then i will spot someone looking at me or flirting with me but that's as far as it goes.

 

So my question is if i am so hot then why aren't men approaching me?

A friend once told me "you're to hot and they feel intimidated by you and they think you're most probably taken by the way you look"

 

I totally disagree with her and think that someone being good looking couldn't be a deterent.

What are your thoughts?

 

I have often thought a man is hot looking but not approached him or wanted him to approach me. Not because I am intimidated but it could be a variety of reasons - I could have observed how he was behaving and find it immature, unintelligent or downright tacky, for example. Or more subtle than that I could have found that we simply wouldn't be a good match based on his behavior, vibes or energy - looks are not going to overcome that, of course. I think it's a bit narrowminded to assume that men are going to approach you just because you have a pretty face or a hot body. What are you doing to be warm, approachable and friendly?

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

their scared

 

do you smile alot? if not they get the impression that your a stuck up sleezeball who only goes for hot men, and their self esteem drops.......

 

harsh but tis tru

[poloplayer]

i don't like being with a guy hotter than i am, because then i immediately lose the upper hand. if you're with someone a lot hotter than you, then you'll always be wondering if he/she is screwing a serious hottie behind your back. so perhaps guys don't want a relationship because they want to have you under their thumb and they know that they won't with a drop dead gorgeous girl.

 

As a guy I feel this way with women. Being with a smoking hottie sounds like it would be perfect, but I would always be afraid of her cheating. I have friends who are currently engaged to some hotties, and sadly, their hot fiances ARE cheating on them. It's not my place to say anything, and my guy friends are just so happy that their future wives are so hot.

 

The hottest girl I ever dated was also the most frustrating experience for me. Everywhere we went together would mean guys hitting on her and flirting with her. We would be at a restuarant and the waiter wouldn't stop talking with her, we'd be in a bar/club and guys would flirt and bring drinks for her as I stood right next to her, etc. The list went on. My issue wasn't one of insecurity; this crosses the line of compliments that your girlfriend is so hot. It becomes downright frustrating when all you want to do is spend time with your signaficant other, and all you hear is others wanting to flirt and talk with her. It gets old and my interest wanes.

 

Can you think of any other reason why guys might not approach you other than your intimidating looks and how well you take care of yourselves?

 

Assuming a man is interested in you, no.

 

If a guy is intimidated by your looks, then he is lacking some confidence.

 

Taking care of yourself...this really depends on each person. Being high maintenance is a complete turn off to me, but when I say high maintenance, I refer to a girl who needs to wear the chic designer clothes and purses, who wouldn't go camping for a weekend because it's gross and has no running water, etc. Basically a girly girl. Some guys really dig them but they're not my type.

[Leonhart]

I have had this issue for a long time now.

My female friends describe me as "hot"

My male friends and people i know well describe me as "hot" but yet no man has ever ever ever dared to approach me.

Now and then i will spot someone looking at me or flirting with me but that's as far as it goes.

 

So my question is if i am so hot then why aren't men approaching me?

A friend once told me "you're to hot and they feel intimidated by you and they think you're most probably taken by the way you look"

 

I totally disagree with her and think that someone being good looking couldn't be a deterent.

What are your thoughts?

 

I have no thoughts on this issue since I can't see your picture.

 

Actually, wait... I do have some thoughts on this after all. Maybe you don't look friendly, approachable or available. Do you wear a ring on your ring finger? Do you smile? Do you walk with your nose in the air and avoid eye contact? Do you dress well and look presentable? Do you have good hygiene? Do you think it's possible that maybe us guys are intimidated by you so-called hot girls that we are too afraid to talk to you, because we know (or believe) that you will reject us? Men don't like rejection. It could be possible that your girlfriends are simply being 'nice' and telling you what you want to hear. Who knows? It could be any number of things I mentioned, or possibly none of the above. Not even knowing what you look like, I can only speculate. Anyway, that's my two cents... take it for what it's worth.

[real2]

I'll approach you girls

 

I'll say hi, I like that thing that you're wearin. Looks nice on ya. Then complement you on your beautiful eyes (especially if they are blue or hazel green), or any little attracting feature you have. Then ask you for your name, tell you mine.

 

Then freestyle it from there.